Proof of my early interest in filmmaking

Progress Continues

Last week Brian came over to help scan in images for the film. He made it through an entire stack of Surry's photos, and even did a bit of image processing to make the photos look better. What a huge help!

While he worked, I covered the door to my home office with brown shipping paper to write notes about the film. On it is listed the steps we must take to get to a director's cut, as well as goals for each of the next 12 months. When the director's cut is ready, we'll send it to the folks working on the next steps: Patrick for animated graphics, AB for music, and Todd for branding and marketing materials. There are so many more steps to complete.

Tonight, Matt is here working on slide scanning. He is a champ! We spent about an hour trying to work through an error message the scanner kept giving us, and he finally got it working. His timing could not have been more perfect, too. After such an ordeal over getting a scanner that works, I was quite willing to throw it through the window tonight. But he got is working and is now cruising along.

Needless to say, this film will be completed soon--and only because of the wonderful people helping us make it to the finish line.

Offers for Support Continue

I never cease to be amazed by the overwhelming support from friends and family as it relates to this film. We have been working on it for quite some time, and the offers to help keep coming in. It is the only way something like this happens, for certain.

Brian Thacker, an improviser/marketer/entrepreneur, just called me to offer help in scanning. Not only did he offer his own scanner, he is coming over tonight to work on the project with me. And while writing this, another loaner for a scanner has come in from my friend Paul. The network of people helping make this film grows daily, and it is a sign of so many wonderful things. I am so humbled by the continuing stream of willing volunteers to make it take shape.

There have been moments of solitude while working on this film, and others of loud and outright joy about it. Oh, how anxious I am to share the final product with everyone! I ache to say that it is finished, and available on DVD! I ache to send invitations to screening events in Raleigh, Chicago and D.C. I ache to host a wildly exciting fundraising party, where celebrations of finishing the project can be heard and felt from blocks away.

But aching doesn't get a project finished. And being hopeful about the outcome doesn't get you one step closer to wrapping it up. Sitting down and working on the thing is the only way to get it finished, and I am happy to have clarity of thought to make that happen. The past few months have seen a lot of change in my life. A lot of change. And so the project has not seen as much progress as I wished for it.

My friend, Doc, who has helped me with sage advice and digitizing tapes, told me many months ago that post-production is a great roller coaster of emotions. How right he has been! This part of the project has been so challenging for so many reasons.

Surry and I were riding in the car one day, and I laughed at how challenging the process has been. How foolishly I was to think that it could have been finished in merely a few months! We have poured our blood, sweat and tears into this project, for sure. While driving past the Irregardless Cafe with Surry, I sighed a breathe of relief at the thought of doing a second film. How much easier that one will be, now that I have learned so many lessons the hard way. How much simpler it could be to start and finish a second documentary, now having had the experience of working on this first one.

It is days like this, where support floods in, that I am able to keep my head down and focus on finishing this project. Therefore, one of my next posts will include a projected timeline for finishing the film. It will be done.

My cup runneth over.

OfficeMax - Part II

On Tuesday, I wrote about the time wasted with OfficeMax in relation to a failed scanner. The photos and slides from Vietnam will be used in the film--only if we get them scanned properly.

After several hours on the phone with customer service representatives, one of whom blatantly hung up on me, I was finally escalated to a woman named Vivian who finally seemed capable of finding the answers I wanted to hear. She connected with the scanner manufacturer, had them send me a new one, and gave me a ticket to mail the faulty one to California free of charge. But I'm stuck with a phone bill that is twice what it should be, and an extra trip to drop of the faulty scanner when all I wanted was to return what I bought from the store originally.

It's unfortunate that it took several hours, and five OfficeMax representatives to finally find a mildly-satisfying resolution. Shouldn't the response, "Here's how we can make this right," be the first one? You would think so, but I suppose OfficeMax doesn't empower its employees to handle the situation right out of the gate. They have to stick to policies so they don't get fired, and even phone center supervisors are willing to hang up on a customer before extending some level of understanding and support.

Years ago, I read a book that highlighted Van Eure's customer service. If you're not familiar with her name, she helps run a little place called The Angus Barn here in Raleigh, N.C.--one of the nation's most successful restaurants with $10 million plus in annual sales. What can OfficeMax learn from Van Eure? The commandments of customer service, for sure. Not only does she get it, but she empowers her employees to help the customer as well.

One of the sections from Eure's chapter has stuck with me for many years. The book is Nine Lives: Stories of Women Business Owners Landing on Their Feet by Mary Cantando with Laurie Zuckerman. Here are excerpts from the book that I continue to enjoy:

This focus on the customers rather than the trappings of the business is the hallmark of Van's managment style. and she has learned that hiring the right employees is the foundation of customer satisfaction...it is not uncommon for Angus Barn managment to interview 100 applicants to fill two positions. From dishwasher to office staff to head chef, each applicant faces elaborate reference checks and a series of interviews. Then, before a job offer is made, everyone involved in the decision must give a unanimous thumbs up. A safecracker could break into Fort Knox more easily than a mediocre employee could get on the Angus Barn payroll. As a result, all 240 employees wear their Angus Barn employment badge of honor. And, once they make it in, they guard the door to ensure that the next employee meets the same high standards...

Each night those employees are put to the test. With an average of 900 customers a night and all the variables that go along with each order...it's just a matter of time before a slipup occurs...

Delivering a medium when a medium rare was ordered is bad enough, but the kind of slipups that Van hates the most are those involving special occasions like somebody's birthday or graduation party. Her approach in these situations is never to ask, "What do you want me to do for you?" but rather to say, "Let me tell you what I'm going to do." Then she always does more than she promises.

OfficeMax, if you are listening, please take a note from Eure's thoughts on management and customer service. Not only am I holding a grudge about your representative hanging up on me, I am angry that my phone bill is more than twice what it should be this month. You've ignored the opportunity to make things right. I'm fairly easy to placate in these situations but you have failed me many, many times this week. You, clearly, don't get it.

We're moving towards a society that engages with one another on a very personal basis using many different tools. Seth Godin writes about this in his book Tribes, "The tactics are irrelevant, and the technology will always be changing. The essential lesson is that every day it gets easier to tighten the relationship you have with the people who choose to follow you."

"Van has learned that people just want to feel special and small personal touches go a long way," Cantando writes. You have a huge opportunity in front of you, OfficeMax, but some part of me doubts that you'll capitalize on it.

OfficeMax

For several hours I have been going back and forth with OfficeMax and the manufacturers of a scanner I purchased from them. Matt, one of our editors who's proficient in digital imaging, had planned to come over tonight to work on scanning images that will be used in the film. What a battle has ensued with OfficeMax, instead.

Here's what happened (as briefly as it can be told):

• Bought a scanner in March 2009 for digitizing archived footage from Vietnam
• Set up the scanner last week for use by Matt to digitize the large number of images
• Realized that the scanner was not working properly (added a weird green light to each image)
• Called the manufacturer to find out if it could be fixed, or needed replacing
• Called the local OfficeMax store to find out about returning the item, and was told they have a 14-day return policy, don't carry the scanner in the store anymore, and I have to talk to the manufacturer
• Talked to the manufacturer call center rep, who was very helpful, and confirmed that they could replace it but I have to pay the shipping fee
• Angry that I couldn't return it locally and would have to pay for shipping it, I called the OfficeMax customer service center; was told about the 14-day return policy again and that I would have to talk with the manufacturer
• Escalated my call to a supervisor who was incredibly rude, told me there was no one else that could help, and then proceeded to disconnect our call after telling me she was going to hang up on me. (Is that their policy? To hang up on customers instead of helping them?)
• Called again, spoke with two people, and then finally left my name and number for another supervisor (after about an hour of waiting, explaining and talking)
• Finally received a return call from a supervisor who is supposedly going to help me get a new scanner.

These are the little things you never see on film, aren't they? The little battles you fight in the attempt to wage war in finishing a feature-length film. And they are never seen on film, because they're insignificant if the final result is achieved. The behind-the-scenes ordeal for simply getting a scanner that works is of little importance if we have a final film with digitized original photos from Vietnam.

I am appalled that OfficeMax has a customer service representative who blatantly hangs up the phone instead of transferring the call to someone who can provide assistance. What started as a simple and very straightforward matter has become an inordinate waste of time and resources for both of us.

A 14-day return policy has now damaged OfficeMax's reputation and brand for me. It has caused an unbelievable amount of inconvenience, when I simply wanted to return a faulty product they sold me. The matter could have been resolved so quickly, too! All I wanted was someone to return the money I spent on the faulty scanner, or help cover the cost of shipping it to the manufacturer.

They are supposedly calling me back tomorrow morning with an update. I'll keep you posted. In the mean time, does anyone have a scanner we might borrow?

The Ebb and Flow

It truly is a rare gift to do what one loves, and I find myself appreciating this gift every day. There are challenges, of course, but this adventure is one that I hope to never take for granted. The ebb and flow of work on this documentary film continues. I look forward to sharing more progress reports very soon.

Living Your Dreams

All people dream; but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recess of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are the dangerous people, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.

-- T. E. Lawrence

It is a rare gift, indeed, to live one's dreams. I feel quite lucky to be doing what I have always dreamt of doing: making a feature-length film. There are times where it is challenging, for certain; but, I can't think of any place I'd rather be than where I am right now in my life. It is a rare opportunity, and one I dare not take for granted.

Stop. Be in the present moment. Appreciate where you are. Then continue moving forward.

Social Media and Vietnam

It could be easy to miss the news about Vietnam arresting bloggers. There's so much that happens in one day. In case you missed it, here is an article about a blogger who just got released, and that explains more: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8253832.stm. It only takes a few minutes to read.

Tweak or Not to Tweak

Tweaking, tweaking, tweaking. I sit down to edit the film's screenplay, reading transcript after transcript. Then I sit at the computer, moving clips around on the timeline. I'm finatical about how this story is told. To the point where I am annoying myself.

If this clip goes here, it leads to this next one well. People will be able to handle new information if it goes in this order. But this is important, too. No, this should go here instead. Ok, this clip is a little too hard to understand.

The conversations in my head as I edit this film are almost laughable. I debate with myself over where a certain clip should go, who should be seen first, who says the message most succinctly or with the right tone in their voice.

Claude Monet painted the same subjects repeatedly. Different times of days. Studying the light and change in color obsessively. I'm no Claude Monet, but I do feel his finaticism and how it can consume someone.

My dad listens to me tell him these things. That I have been obsessing over it too much, and need to stop tweaking it. Dad tells me, "There's a beginning, a middle and an end to everything. Find the end. Get it finished."

My friend asks about the film, and hears me say something similar. I keep tweaking. Why do I obsessively tweak?! She tells me, "There's no second film if you never finish your first."

Yes, these things I know all too well. I carry them with me daily. The pressure mounts every moment. I so deseperately want to finish this film, and share it with the world. It's pertinent, and timely. It needs to be seen, shared. Not because of anything I may have done, but because the plight of the Montagnards is important. And for so many other reasons.

Tweak, tweak, tweak. I must stop tweaking, and keeping moving on. There is so much left to do, and I must get myself out of the way of progress.

Color is my day-long obsession, joy and torment.

-Claude Monet

Sacrifice

Some of my friends talk to me about sacrifice. They don't open with that word, but it is at the heart of their rant. It seems our generation feels as if we are owed something, and you see this on the faces of older generations and as creative fodder for films. It's even so cliche that we have the "I hiked 15 miles in the snow--uphill" speech.

But what do my fellow young Americans really know of sacrifice? (We have friends and family serving overseas, so do not let me discount that sacrifice.) We are largely removed from what is happening outside our small, immediate world. My hasty generalization is that we choose to turn a deaf ear or a blind eye to what is happening overseas and in the world because it is a downer. It's not as hip to talk about war, policy, abandoment, persecution and human rights as it is to talk about reality television, fashion, and celeb gossip. At least, not in every social circle. Perhaps the media is to blame for not reporting on it. But that is a chicken-or-the-egg conversation: do they not report or do we not listen and thereby cause them not to report on it?

When I sat down with my Montagnard and Special Forces friends, the sacrifice did not immediately come pouring out. It took time for them to talk about it. Just as a well respected man is not boastful, these real American heroes are slow to show you their pain. Because it is very real. And still very present.

Eastern NC and Vietnam

Centennial is one of my favorite books. The book has always stuck with me, although I confess that I last read it in high school (about 10 years ago for anyone counting). What has stuck with me the most is the story of the land, and the people living on it and from it. The story is both beautiful and ugly simultaneously. I would like to read it again when I have a week at the beach sometime. It’s a good book.

While sitting in the sun Down East this weekend, I found myself thinking about Centennial and how the author uses the land to shape his characters. I have always felt connected to the land in eastern North Carolina, the water that surrounds it, and the wide open skies that embrace it all. Years ago, I was so connected to it that I could predict a storm before the sky darkened and the first drop of rain fell. (Well, perhaps it was the change in barometric pressure more than a prediction.) The land in eastern North Carolina has helped shape who I am and the way in which I live my life. When anyone asks where I am from my answer is always a prideful, “Eastern North Carolina.”

This weekend I thought about Centennial a few times, as it so beautifully describes the connection between the land and human life. While in Eastern North Carolina, the area in which I was born and raised, I thought of the Montagnards and how their homeland has shaped their lives. They are from the central highlands of Vietnam, although you would not call them Vietnamese.

Oh, how they must miss that land after they leave. So many of them now live in North Carolina, and I can only imagine how much they miss the way things once were in the central highlands of Vietnam. In our interviews, the longing for home is almost palpable.

The history of the Montagnards is directly related to the lands they once inhabited in relative isolation. They knew the land, how to farm it and care for it. It was their livelihood. And knowing that, I now understand how land reform has been used to hurt the Montagnards. By limiting the amount of land available to farm, it limits other things like the amount of food available for the Montagnards.

This is not something that happened once, during the war many years ago. The persecution of the Montagnards continues today. My visit to my own homeland this weekend kept me thinking about the Montagnards, and how connected they are to the central highlands of Vietnam. I get asked frequently if this filmmaking adventure has taken me there. Perhaps one day.

NYC and Charlotte

My improv comedy team, Big Fat & Stealthy, just returned from the Del Close Marathon in NYC. It was a great weekend full of laughs and good friends. We performed at 1pm on Saturday, August 15 at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. For those whom have never attended, the Del Close Marathon is a weekend of mass consumption of improv shows. My friend tells me that about 1,000 teams applied and 300 were accepted to perform. It's an honor to be a part of such a weekend, and I do hope to return next year (either as a performer or observer). The photo above is of Matt Walsh, one of the guys who started UCBT.

While the weekend was delightfully fun, I did manage to pick up a cold. It has made it hard to accomplish much this week--but it's just a cold. Thankfully, I think I have now caught up on some much needed rest. The cough lingers, but that I can definitely handle.

Today I am in Charlotte, N.C., at a conference called Social Fresh, which is all about social media. Social media has been a fascination of mine for years now, and being in a room full of experts is not something I take for granted. Hearing people talk about their experiments, lessons and best practices has been a great thing. Some of the challenges I have faced over the years are common, it seems. Explaining the benefits, proving return on investment (ROI), and helping people understand how do to it the right way (transparency, collaboration, genuine relationships, etc.). It's nice to be in a room of people thinking about the same things, you know?

And that's the basis for social media. If you don't know what that term means, then no worries. When you distill this down to it's most basic form, it's simply a means by which we surround ourselves with like-minded individuals that we want to communicate with and care to know. Seth Godin calls it a tribe. Which I find incredibly appropriate and it's incredibly relevant in my work on this film.

Today, I have a tribe of volunteers working on the film. When the film is released, hopefully we'll have a tribe of people that want to learn more about the Montagnards, become fans of the film, and help spread the word. When you look at the culture and history of the Montagnards, you learn that the term references a collective groups of different tribes. The Montagnard tribes have different languages and traditions, just like those tribes you see online today.

There are huge connections between these two seemlingly unrelated trips and this filmmaking adventure. The trip to NYC helped me recognize that my passion for film production is undeniable and needed. I know people that want to act, direct, edit--but a producer is needed to make it all happen (on time and within the budget). So, production is definitely the role I enjoy playing. There were a few key discussions that helped me remember this, some of which happened in the van on the way to/from NYC with my teammates.

The conference today in Charlotte has helped me recognize that social media is directly related to the history and future of the Montagnards. On Saturday night, I had a great conversation with one of our cast members, Lap. I am incredibly impressed and energized by his ideas and passion. We talked about preservation of history and how research and books no longer in print might be shared online. What a wonderful idea. I hope it comes to fruition.

There are many great things happening right now. I'm learning a lot every day. And every day, I grow more and more anxious to get the film finished. Here's hoping we can do that soon. No, not hoping. Here's *knowing* that we can make that happen soon!

15 Minutes

Well, we have about 15 minutes of edited footage now. I am going to sit down with the footage and see how well it all flows together, or if we should make any changes at this point. It's a slowly-moving process, but at least we're moving along. The deadline for a film festival is coming up, and although I don't know that we can make it, I would certainly love to have it entered for the 2010 festival. For the moment, I'm using it as a deadline to help us move forward. Fifteen minutes and counting!

Talking It Up

Last night one of my friends confessed that she loves talking about the fact that I am making a movie. She says that she gets to live vicariously through me, which seems laughable that anyone would want to do such a thing. I loved her candor and smile as she told me that she seems cooler by association because I'm working on a film. Who knew?!

I share this in order to say that her excitement freed me to completely unleash my own enthusiasm about our project. I found myself dominating the conversation with details about the film and our schedule for finishing it. What would happen after we finished it: distribution, entry into film festivals, screening events. The list of volunteers who are helping me, and how talented they all are. Suddenly, we were all excited and laughing about the possibilities of the future. It was one of those moments, where you know that years from now you'll look back and smile when you remember being younger and surrounded by friends and unashamed laughter.

It has been so exciting to see the anticipation of others for the film. Every day I carry this anxiousness--wanting and needing to finish this film immediately so that we can share it with the world. I feel that it is important for so many reasons, and the sooner it is released, the sooner it can bring awareness to the Montagnards and how closely this history relates to what is happening in Iraq and Afghanistan today. It's a weight that I carry every moment of every day: looking at the bigger picture of producing the film, and how to tell this story so that it does justice to those that lived it.

When I see the excitement of others, like my friends last night, it rejuvenates and recharges me. That weight of responsibility is quiet for just a moment, and the light of what is happening shines on me for just a moment. And it is then that I have to pinch myself again to realize that all of this is real. That dreams actually do come true. That there is a place in the world where you can do what you love, and by doing what you love, you actually bring happiness to others in the world. And it is at that moment that you simultaneously realize how lucky you are, how fragile it all is, and how small you really are in the world.

Hollywood is an ongoing, never-ending roller coaster ride. It's filled with dips and dives. Twists and turns. And like every great roller coaster ride, it's chock full of things that might occassionally make you want to vomit. But all in all, if you can hold on to the feeling you have at the end when you're unbuckling the seat belt and heading to the cotton candy stand, you'll discover that it's a ride well worth taking. And one that will never disappoint. So, suit up fellow warriors, it's game time.

--Fran Harris, Crashing Hollywood

The First Rough Cut

A few weeks ago, I showed Surry the first few minutes of our edited film. It's a very rough cut: nothing but the interviewed edited together. What a delight it was to have something to show him! While he watched it, I got goosebumps. The powerful statements made by our cast carry such weight. I can only imagine the excitement I'll feel when I see the finished film!

Now, I know this project is close to me, but I have to tell you that it is going to be great. Just those first few minutes of edited footage proove to me, once again, that what we have on our hands is going to be amazing. It's relative to today, and an important subject matter.

Matt keeps coming over to edit. Surry keeps me motivated. And the rest of our volunteers stand waiting and ready to work when we get the director's cut finalized. We're moving along slowly, but steadily. Every day that passes, I grow more and more anxious to wrap the project so that we can share it with the world!

McNamara dead at age 93

Robert McNamara has died. I have been studying his role in the Vietnam War, and watched a documentary about it called The Fog of War. It's interesting to read coverage of his death, and compare it to the other recent deaths: Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, and Ed McMahon. It reinforces temporal existence.

Robert S. McNamara, 93; manager of Vietnam War
from NorthJersey.com
http://www.northjersey.com/obituaries/50153522.html?c=y&page=1

Independence Day

This week my friend and I went to our favorite pub. We like the pub because it is consistently entertaining and feels like our own version of Cheers, where everyone knows our names. The pub is full of people cycling through, and we come home with the most interesting stories. This week, I met a red headed, freckle-faced Marine named McCready.

We talked for a while about sand spiders in Afghanistan. Someone I know recently told me these spiders can be as big as the size of a steering wheel, and I want to know if it's true or not. McCready tells me someone has been exaggerating. But they do get to be really big, about the size of your hand. And they crawl into cool places, like sleeping bags. I can handle spiders, but not when they're the size of a steering wheel. We talk about Afghanistan, and about being a Marine.

He tells me about war strategies, and losing some level of hearing in his left ear because of an IED. He talks about the extreme heat in Afghanistan. Sleeping in holes in the sand. Jealousy of those stationed in Iraq because the conditions are much better now, and they have a McDonald's. He talks about how he disklikes training new recruits. He talks about recruiting during a war. And about the differences of fighting a world war in comparison to these smaller wars that are largely misunderstood or supported.

Our conversation pauses for a moment. McCready looks embarrassed that he has been talking for so long about the Marines and Afghanistan. The pause seems to bring him back to the present, sitting in a pub talking with an American woman that's never been there, much less through any military training.

"Sorry. I could talk about it all day," McCready says. "I'm sure it's boring."

He mistakes the pause as my lack of interest. In reality, I am letting it all sink in. Little does he know just how enthralled I am by the details. It's not likely that he'll understand that without knowing about our film.

I tell him about the documentary, the research, interviews, subject matter, and meeting people like Col. Roger Donlon, Mike Benge, Maj. John Plaster and the Montagnards. I tell him their stories, because I have been mentally living their experiences in Vietnam for so long. I tell him their stories because that's what I know well now, and it mimics what he has been sharing with me. I tell him about Col. Roger Donlon's experience at Nam Dong, and Maj. John Plaster's experience behind enemy lines. I tell him about Mike Benge getting captured, and his experience as a POW. I tell him about Viet Cong war strategy, and the relationship between the Montagnards and Special Forces.

Then, similarly, I realize I've been talking too long. And the pause brings me back to the present, sitting in a pub with a soldier surrounded by people drinking heavily and laughing loudly. The setting is a stark contrast to our conversation, and the pause jolts me back to the present moment.

We sit there, in a crowded and very loud pub. Two strangers from very different places, unexpectedly finding common ground. I am silent at the thought of what's happening today, and how closely it mimics what I have been studying about the Vietnam War. He again looks a little uncomfortable, and asks if I'm OK since I'm visibly lost in thought.

Our eyes reconnect, and I smile. "Yes, thank you. I'm fine." He seems more at ease.

He is protective about others constantly bumping into me, but in an old fashioned and very polite way. Like a gentleman, he helps me find a seat so that we can keep talking with less distraction. He offers to buy me a beer as we continue to talk. Our bar tender, now busy with a new incoming crowd, misses McCready's signal for drinks. I offer a quick glance at our favorite bar tender, who he responds immidiately to my eye contact. It makes me think that McCready's restrained strength could be easily missed. He does not advertise it, nor does he demand attention. His manners, gentlemanly ways, stature and stance remind me of my grandfather.

My grandfather would be celebrating his wedding anniversary tomorrow were he still alive. He was a Marine. Semper Fi to the day he died. A true gentleman who opened doors, wrote love letters to his wife, and fought during WWII. Never pushy or militant. Never boastful. But humble with a quiet, restrained strength.

In his honor, my grandmother still gives red, white and blue flowers to the church for the alter during our nation's Independence Day weekend in honor of their wedding anniversary. They got married in their hometown, at a little church, and had a reception at my grandmother's family home. The black and white pictures of them are so charming. In the photo, she carries flowers from her family's garden wearing an understated white dress, and he wears his Marine dress uniform. She still points at the picture, smiles, and says, "Isn't he handsome?" The love for her late husband has never left her eyes or her smile. It's almost tangible. One of those things that seems almost unfathomable today, when you find yourself in a conversation about the recession, bad job market and divorce rates. Her continued love for him seems like an enigma, something you can't believe until you witness it first hand.

Suddenly, the details of my life, and all that has happened before I was born seems orchestrated by a force larger than me. All of the details that feel so unrelated and nebulous start to form a recognizable pattern. Something that feels like it's leading me towards a future that is uncertain, but beautiful. Something that gives me hope that we will finish this film soon and share it with others. Something that uplifts my spirit, and makes me feel a great sense of pride for our country. A country that has not always done the right thing and is not presently favored by the world, but a country that has the chance to change the future. Suddenly, I understand that the possibilities that are truly endless.

Suddenly, too, my friend signals that it is time to go. I shake the Marine's hand. I thank McCready for his service, the time he's just shared with me, and the drink he bought me. And as we walk out of our pub, my friends laugh loudly about something unrelated. I walk quietly, realizing that, to me, this man represents what Independence Day means right now. I look over my shoulder, caught between my laughing friends and the quiet McCready still sitting at the bar.

He's the man on the ground. He's the one who lost hearing in his left ear because an IED blew up. He's the one sleeping in a hole in the sand, fighting in a war that I don't fully understand. He's the one training new soldiers, so they don't make mistakes. He's the one waiting to be shot at by the enemy because he's not allowed to shoot first. He's the one in 140 degree heat making sure I can stay comfortable in my home here in North Carolina.

Today, the sun is shining. Blue, peaceful skies and green grass surround me. My family and friends are grilling out. The pool is open and inticing. Life is good. And I find myself appreciating it more because of working on this film. I hope, with genuine sincerity, that this film may honor and uplift those that have given me the great priveledge of this freedom and independence. It is not something I take for granted. That is certain.

Enemy of the State

Gene Hackman's character:
"You know, in guerilla warfare, you try to use your weaknesses as strengths."

Will Smith's character:
"Such as?"

Gene Hackman's character:
"Well, if they’re big and you’re small, then you’re mobile and they’re slow. You’re hidden and they’re exposed. You only fight battles you know you can win. That’s the way the Viet Cong did it. You capture their weapons, and then you use them against them the next time. That way they’re supplying you. You grow stronger as they grow weaker."

A few weeks ago, the movie Enemy of the State was playing. I like conspiracy movies, and these lines of dialogue overlap a critical transition in the movie. It's where the underdogs amp up to fight for themselves against the bad guys. I highly recommend it, and thought the dialogue was incredibly relevant to our film. Enjoy.

Frequently Asked Quesitons

Many people have been asking me questions lately about our documentary film. I have noticed a trend in some of the questions, as they get repeated, and have lately thought this is a great foundation for web content. There are the expected items for any doc film website, but I wanted to generate an FAQ section based on real life interactions, and feedback from my networks online.

Here are the questions most commonly asked:

• What's the film about?
• How did you get interested in this topic?
• How did you start the project?
• How are you making the film?
• Who is working on the project with you?
• What equipment are you using?
• Where did you get funding?
• Did you go to Vietnam?
• Where are you making the film?

As we continue with post-production, interest in the film has been growing significantly. We're committed to finishing is as soon as we can, but at a pace we can handle since it's a bootstrapped effort and many of the team members work full time elsewhere.

So, are there unanswered questions you have had, too?

I'm happy to answer any questions you have about the film via this blog. It'll also help us develop the FAQ section of the website when we get to that stage in the project. As interest grows, I anticipate that the website will need to go live soon (at least a first version before we get the logo, brand, ID, etc. developed and finalized).

Creatures of Habit

Humans are creatures of habit. So, I'm going to do my best to keep updating this blog at least once a week. Conversations today lead me to the understanding that I'm so focused on finishing the film, that I am neglecting other areas of the film's development. This blog is one of them. I took a double, then triple, look at the date of my last entry. It's been more than a month since I last posted something!

No doubt, a lot has happened since then:

• Matthew (or Doc, as he is nicknamed by our mutual friends) finished digitizing all of the footage, which has been an absolutely tremendous support. He's also been very helpful in keeping me sane, telling me the emotions that I'll go through as we embark on the post-production journey.
  
• We finished transcribing all of the interviews, and I have a notebook full of dog-eared, poorly numbered pages.
  
• Matt has also started coming over to edit the footage, muddling through my maddening notes. He's a patient being, and is earning his place in heaven for his work. He's been helping me figure out what we'll need to do once the first draft is finished: tweak transitions, edit the audio so it is all similar, pinpoint where we want animated graphics and images, etc.
  
• And, my biggest, most exciting film news recently: We now have at least one minute of edited footage on the timeline!

It's been a painstaking process, but one that is clearly worthwhile. Every step of the process has proven that this project is SO much bigger than just me, and those that immediately surround me. We, as humans, need to know that we're a part of something bigger than ourselves, I think. This film is definitely proof of that. It's not just a film about the Montagnards and Special Forces, it's a film about humanity, how we treat one another, the art of war, individual sacrifice, and consequences of our actions. Above all else, it's about keeping promises.

Every time I meet a soldier, the film naturally comes up in conversation. They are fascinated, I believe, by the discovery in a casual conversation and the fact that (1) a woman is making a film about the Montagnards and Special Forces, (2) I know the term Montagnard, and (3) how I can see the connection between the Vietnam War and the war overseas today. It has happened several times over the past few months, and each time the response has been something to the effect of, "Please do us right. Tell our story, and let everyone know."

It genuinely brings tears to my eyes as I write it. I remember how they stare me dead in the eye, asking with such authority and simultaneously with such helplessness. I frequently feel so small and insignificant, but at those moments I realize that I've been charged with something so huge.

Next Steps
There's so much work left to be done, but we are moving along at a pace that we can bear. I work full time (as do many of my other volunteers), so nights and weekends are film time. But sometimes those things get interrupted by things that life brings with it: supporting family and friends, chores like paying bills or cleaning house, and every now and then mini-vacations to keep ourselves balanced.

Once we get the first draft finished, we'll review what we have and possibly reorganize some of the clips. At that point, we'll decide if we need a voiceover or not. Then we'll identify where we need to use still images, music and animated graphics. Once we get that official director's cut ready--the draft that is as polished as we think it can get--we'll show it to select audiences (or test groups) to see what the reactions are to the film. I think I'd like to have a few different test audiences. After that, we'll likely have some tweaks to make. Somewhere in there, we'll bring in the marketing / communications team. (Yay! Something that's familiar territory.) Then we will finally start to release it to broader, bigger audiences. And from that point forward, I imagine, it just might be coasting from there.

We'll need things like a learning center to share info about the Montagnards and Special Forces, bios for the cast and crew, a photo gallery, etc. And I imagine that we will need a press kit with some of that information available for download.

I'm incredibly anxious to keep things moving forward. But, I promise to keep updating this blog more often. It has clearly been neglected, which contradicts the amount of work that is still happening on the film.

Yes, I'm quite excited. Surry gave me another pep talk today. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and I'm so eternally grateful to him for the unending support and guidance he continues to provide. Perhaps I'll convince him to one day work on an autobiography! He's a fascinating person, full of talent, passion, wisdom, surprises and amazing stories.

Good Days, Bad Days and Family

One of my cast members told me that his time in Vietnam was some of the happiest and saddest times in his life.  There were good days and bad days.  Naturally, it was a war.  The highs were high and the lows were very low.  He laughed a lot.  Cried occassionally.  Wouldn't really trade that time for anything.

Today, I am having a down day.  Writing, for me, becomes very difficult on days where I am not the happiest.  But today I have decided to write anyway, because it's important to remember the challenging days just as much as we remember the joyful ones.  Filmmakers know that the good becomes even better when contrasted against something bad.  It's why we have comic book heroes and arch nemises, after all.  Superman's great, but compared side-by-side with Lex Luthor he looks even better.  So, we have our good days and we have our bad days.  My point is that it's important to recognize and appreciate both. 

My reason for writing is not to complain or rant, but merely to remember that I struggled today.  The film is a blessing in so many ways.  A challege that has helped me grow into a much more confident young woman.  It's helped me understand what I want to do with the rest of my life.  But, on days like today, I have to appreciate the pains that come with those joys.

Today was a struggle, for certain.  And when one thing goes wrong, it's easy to see how everything can come crashing down around you in a second.  I write in these ambiguous ways because the details of what specifically went wrong are nebulous to anyone that doesn't know me very well.  My sister came over, listened to me, and sat with me.  It's the people to whom you are incredibly close that make things like a documentary film happen.  They may not be doing a specific task like designing, editing or writing, but they support you and hold you up in ways you never knew you needed.

Without my sister, without my family and friends, I would never be able to dream of doing something like this--and it is to them (as well as many others) that I am incredibly indebted and grateful.  We are given a family by birth, but we have the chance to make our own families at various points throughout our lives.  Seth Godin happens to call them tribes.  We get to make our own circle of people that are interesting and valuable to us.  Entrepreneurs call them a brain trust.  Businesses call them a board of directors.  There are many names for family.

One of the Montagnards to whom I have been introduced as a result of this project--a great leader in his community who works harder than many men I've met--calls his American friend a brother.  It's such a simple term, but holds so much weight.  Brother.  It's a term they use with love and respect, honor and gratitude.  Brother.  It is a term that unites two grown men who made great sacrifices together, long ago, so that I could enjoy freedom in my country (and do things like make a documentary film).

Family.  We are given a family, but we also make our own families as we journey through life.  It's not without our families that we accomplish much of significance, either.  Sure, it's possible to do great things without the support of your family (whether a given or created family), but it's so much more enjoyable to share the experience.  Even when you're pitifully sobbing like I was today.

There are many people that make a project like this happen.  Some you see in the opening credits.  Some you don't.  Yep, in a film, there are so many people that make it come together.  And that's one of the reasons I really enjoy this form of art: the collaborative efforts.  Maybe I'm old fashioned, but it feels like one of those barn raising events where the whole community comes together to build something.  And that's pretty excellent in my book.

A Vision of the Future

Last weekend I had a vision of the future of this film. It was really exciting! My team and I had finished it. Normally, that alone would be enough to be exciting, but this particular vision showed me possible next steps. The premonition was specifically about special screening events.

My whole team and I--cast, crew, family, friends--we were getting all dolled up for a screening of the film at The Rialto in Raleigh, N.C., or at The Airborne & Special Operations Museum in Fayetteville, N.C. It was a chance for the whole team to come together in person and be recognized. The entire event was classy, beautiful and entertaining. It caused a buzz about the Montagnards, people were asking questions, learning and seeking more information. The Montagnards that live in Raleigh performed traditional dances and songs, there was a Q&A session with a panel of experts like John Plaster, Dr. Hickey, Mike Benge and Greg Stock. Even the media came, asking questions about the Montagnards and how the film relates to what's happening today in Iraq and Afghanistan.

What gave me the greatest sense of hope was the possibility of raising funds for real change. Wouldn't it be exciting to not only honor our allies, but to use the sales of tickets to raise money to help enrich the lives the Montagnards lead here in the United States, the country that abandoned them. The possibilities were endless in this vision of the future.

The pressure is on. I so desperately want to finish this film so that it can be shared. The people I have met, the information they have shared, the stories they've told...I hope I do it justice.

Chaotic Space

Deadlines, deadlines. At my full time job, and in life in general, deadlines are not to be missed. It's a sign of keeping your word that you'll meet a deadline, a sign that you're worthy of trust, that you can be held accountable. That, when you give your word, it actually means something. You've made a promise, and it's up to you to keep it.

I keep giving myself hard deadlines so that I can finish a certain stage of the project. I need a date, a deadline, to work towards. My background is in graphic design, which is typically done for a client, which means there's usually a hard deadline. So, you learn to work backwards. If the design is due three months from now, you can set up deadlines for the process: first draft, review, revisions, etc. For the film, though, there is no client. So, these self-imposed deadlines help me keep things moving forward. It's all in my hands right now, and the work of my volunteers can't start until I finish this battle against myself to stop tweaking the screenplay.

Many people have asked why write a screenplay if it's a documentary. I've gotten a lot of questions about that. Well, it's the road map for me and my team. We have 30+ hours of interview footage, a mountain of original images, archived 8mm film, original audio, and eventually original animated graphics and original scores. We have a volunteer team of editors, writers, designers, musicians, managers, marketers, programmers and more that ask to help on a weekly basis. Simply put, the screenplay is a way to make order of the seemingly chaotic space we're in right now.

It's easier to tweak lines of text now, rather than wait until we're down the road. It's easier to battle myself, alone in my house, than drive my editors crazy by asking them to move footage around on the timeline. We are, after all, volunteering so I want to make it fun for everyone. If it starts to feel like work, then they might walk away. That's a very real, very scary thought for me. This group of volunteers is made up of my friends, colleagues, acquaintances. If they feel the need to walk away because it's no longer in their best interest or they have a major conflict in time committments, then that's one thing. But if they feel the need to walk away from the project because it's no longer fun, then that is altogether very different. I can't pay them, so it absolutely must be fun.

So, I want to protect them and give them an enivornment in which they can flourish and do their best work. Work they are proud of, and want to share with their network. Work that builds their portfolio so they can get paid jobs. Great, intelligent, talented people are hard to find. I want to make more films, and I only want the best people on my team. And, I want to take the lessons that I've picked up from my full time job and work in the most effiicent means possible. It's all been about processes for me at work in the past two years, and I've not forgotten those lessons while working on this film.

There comes a time and a place where you have to recognize that you've got it as good as you can get it right now, though. An artist is rarely ever finished with a piece of work. The time to stop tweaking is coming for me soon. I've been working on the screenplay since January, when I returned from my interview with John Plaster in Wisconsin. There is much more work to be done, and I'm holding up the process by tweaking too much.

So, my final deadline is the end of May. I boldy state that I will finish it this week, before my Memorial Day vacation. We shall see, we shall see. Wish me luck, folks. I'm in a battle, and it shall end soon! Man versus self. Who wins?

On the other hand, I must pat myself on the back for just a moment. I've been reviewing the footage and transcripts, and it's quite refreshing to see just how far I've come in the interviewing process.

Previously I mentioned that there are a lot of synergies between my full time job and this film. What I've learned at work, I have applied in my filmmaking. And now, what I have learned on my film, I can apply at work. Interviewing skills help save money, basically. The more talented the interviewer, the faster you get to clips you can use. The faster you get to clips you can use, the less time and money is spent filming and then hunting for those clips.

Think of it in the America's Next Top Model terms. Tyra's always congratulating her models when they get a lot of great photos, especially when they have the final pick in the first few frames. Back in the film days, you wanted a model who could strike a winning pose quickly because it means less money spent on film. Oh, man, I spent so much money on film! Today, even without film, the same rules apply because time is money. The faster you get to the winning end product, the more money you save. The more money a model saves a photographer or creative director, the more jobs she'll book and the more successful she can be. Similarly, the more skilled you are as an interviewer, the more money and time you'll save, allowing you to keep building your portfolio.

If only I had these skills at the beginning of the project. We must live and learn, though. We must learn to yeild to that which we do not know, so that we can grow in the chaotic space. We should surrender to where we are in life, and go into something new open minded and ready to learn. This project, as I previously mentioned, has helped me grow in so many ways. Ways that I will be thankful for the rest of my life. There's no doubt that my world is changing. It's one unbelievable dream come true.

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."
--T.S. Elliot

"The ability to let something go, to yield and thence to empty, is essential to growing. New skin does not flourish until the old has been sloughed off."
--Nicola Phillips

Heretics, Henry Gifford and Filmmaking

Recently I returned from the ACI Conference in Kansas City, M.O., where I learned a lot about improving home performance. While I was there, I recognized how many synergies there are between my full time job in energy efficiency and my first documentary film.  One of these synergies, the role of the heretic in creating a movement, I would like to write about here.

One of the sessions I attended was titled "Why LEED Buildings Use More Energy Than Comparable Buildings, & How Serious Practicitioners Can Avoid the Same" by Henry Gifford.  It stirred passionate conversations, and truly helped me let a few life lessons sink in.  For the sake of this blog post, I hope you will set aside any preconceived notions about the performance of LEED buildings and focus on the bigger picture. I work with top building science experts, but am not one and therefore will not write about my own opinions or conclusions of the session on LEED here.  Instead, I hope to draw some conclusions relative to my documentary film, specifically about the role of the heretic.  

Ready?

Let's start with Seth Godin's book Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us.  It is a book about leadership, communities, movements and social media.  I highly recommend reading it.  In the book, Godin talks about the status quo, what it means today, and how one individual can upset it.  Here is an exerpt so that we all understand Godin's use of the terms status quo and heretic.

All You Need to Know is Two Things

The first thing you need to know is that individuals have far more power than ever before in history. One person can change an industry. One person can declare a war. One person can reinvent science or politics or technology.

The second thing you need to know is that the only thing holding you back from becoming the kind of person who changes things is this: lack of faith. Faith that you can do it. Faith that it's worth doing. Faith that failure won't destroy you.

Our culture works hard to prevent change. We have long had systems and organizations and standards designed to dissuade people from challenging the status quo. We enforce our systems and call whoever is crazy enough to challenge them a heretic.  And society enforces the standards by burning its heretics at the stake, either literally or figuratively.

But the world has changed a lot. There are heretics everywhere you look. It's so asymmetrical that burning heretics isn't particularly effective any longer. As a result, more and more people--good people, people on a mission, people with ideas that matter--are stepping forward and making a difference.

Just about every system, whether it's political, financial, or even religious, has become asymmetrical.  The process has turned upside down: scale isn't the same as power; in fact, scale can hurt. We've seen this in the war in Iraq as much as we've seen it in the war in the soda aisle or in the growth of new religions. In each case, an individual or a small group has the power to turn an existing system on its head.

Now, most of the time, we call heretics leaders.

The day after Gifford's presentation on LEED buildings, I recognized that he very well could be labeled a heretic in his industry.  I left Gifford's presentation with the following: LEED certification is gaining recognition and market share, but is it setting forth best practices in the building industry and creating real, measurable energy savings?  And what impact is it's growth having on the general public's opinion if it is not creating real, measurable results?  Gifford is challenging a program that's gaining strength, and because of that he is upsetting the status quo.  Because he is upsetting the status quo, it stirred a lot of strong reactions in the session (and on a much grander scale, outside of that session).

During the session, I used Twitter to share some of Gifford's thoughts on LEED with my friends. Let's be clear: I don't want to steer us away from the main exploration about heretics, status quo and creating change.  I do wish to share the reactions from Rob Watson, a Twitter user and self-proclaimed father of LEED.  You can see his Twitter profile (@klrwat) here: http://twitter.com/kilrwat.

Fairly immediately after I posted my tweet, Watson responded.  This means that he is aware of the impact of social media.  It means he is aware that each individual has a very powerful voice, or as Godin states, "One person can change an industry." My tweet from the session was merely a way to share what I was hearing, and I was impressed that Watson responded so quickly.

It also added evidence to my growing theory that Gifford is a heretic in the industry.  Watson (and a few others in the session) responded so quickly and passionately, that I couldn't help but recall this excerpt from Godin's Tribes:

The Easiest Thing

The easiest thing is to react.

The second easiest thing is to respond.

But the hardest thing is to initiate.

Reacting, as Zig Ziglar has said, is what your body does when you take the wrong kind of medicine. Reacting is what politicians do all the time. Reacting is intuitive and instinctive and usually dangerous. Managers react.

Responding is a much better alternative. You respond to external stimuli with thoughtful action. Organizations respond to competitive threats.  In dividuals respond to colleagues or opportunities. Response is always better than reaction.

But both pale in comparison to initiative. Initiating is really and truly difficult, and that's what leaders do. They see something others are ignoring and they jump on it. They cause the events that others have to react to.  They make change.

The reactions in the session and on Twitter are very interesting.  Why was this audience so quick to challenge what Gifford was stating?  Why were they so quick to try to correct him, and say that he was wrong?  Was it because they were acting in favor of the status quo?  Were they reacting in this manner because there is truth in what Gifford has to say?  Or were they defending what they believed was true?

The morning after the session and my Twitter exchange with Watson, I kept running over the details of what had happened.  Strong reactions within the session, strong reactions on Twitter from my paraphrasing of Gifford's theories.  It then occured to me that Gifford is a living example of Godin's description of a heretic.  

If one uses the example of Gifford challenging the LEED program, and compares it to those in my documentary film--they are each the definition of Godin's heretics.  I have been interviewing and learning from the heretics of our time, people desperate to upset the status quo, make positive change happen in our U.S. policies, and help improve the lives of the Montagnards.  It is no small feat to take on that challenge, and the members of my cast have been doing it for more than 30 years!  

One of my interviewees states that we live in an attention-deficit world.  I think this is quite true.  We move faster than ever before, quickly sharing thoughts and ideas.  The only thing that still seems to move slowly is change itself.  

Watson tweeted, "The center of gravity is moving towards LEED..."  If Gifford's theories are accurate, then change must be explored to improve the LEED program.  No matter how popular LEED is right now, no matter how much momentum it is gaining, those that run the program must be open to criticsm and change.  After all, the "best time to change your business model is while you still have momentum," as Godin states.

I'm passionate about making this film is because I'm a humanist, optimist, and truth seeker.  I am exploring the history of the Montagnards without bias and judgement, and hope to share the results of my research with an audience to help them draw their own conclusions.  Is our country doing what it promised during the Vietnam War?  Is our country treating its allies as it should?  Where are there areas for improvement, and who will lead those changes?  How do we, as a nation, look to our past to learn valuable lessons in order to leave a better, healthier world for future generations because that is our obligation.

The Obligation

Not too far from us, a few blocks away, there are kids without enough to eat and without parents who care.  A little farther away, hours by plane, are people unable to reach their goals because they live in a community that just doesn't have the infrastructure to support them.  A bit father away are people being brutally persecuted by their governments.  And the world is filled with people who can't go to high school, never mind college, and who certainlys can't spend their time focused on whether or not they get a good parking space at work.

And so, the obligation: don't settle.

To have all these advantages, all this momentum, all these opportunities and then settle for mediocre and then defend the status quo and then worry about corporate politics--what a waste.

Flynn Berry wrote that you should never use the word "opportunity." It's not an opportunity, it's an obligation.

I don't think we have any choice.  I think we have an obligation to change the rules, to raise the bar, to play a different game, and to play it better than anyone has any right to believe is possible.

You  see, it's not about Gifford.  It's about us.  It's about becoming a heretic and challenging the status quo.  It's about seeking, and demanding the truth from those that lead us each day.  It's about rising up, together, as one tribe, to say, "We expect more.  We demand better.  We will see that it happens."

We tend to lead busy lives these days.  Our phones are ringing, emails fill our inbox, bills keep coming in the mail even though some of us are out of work.  We have our daily battles to fight.  But can make change happen, and we have an obligation to make things better--no matter whether you're talking about green building practices, the plight of the Montagnards, or our policies with Vietnam.

More Information

I'm always open to feedback, healthy debates and constructive criticsm.  Feel free to comment here, or email me any time.  If you crave more information, here are several paces you can find it:

• The U.S. Green Building Council's LEED program: http://www.usgbc.org/DisplayPage.aspx?CategoryID=19
• Henry Gifford's website: 
  http://www.energysavingscience.com/
• Henry Gifford's article: 
  http://869789182725854870-a-energysavingscience-com-s-sites.googlegroups.com/a/energysavingscience.com/www/articles/henrysarticles/BuildingRatingSystems.pdf?attredirects=0&auth=ANoY7coPvEPNKKNJhsh9OVW9VFrYTeS7vXaV0GpafF6Hu4e6RBYS3aBFc4disgdnUqV1XNsAYIoNKTsoPhnL3MUP94LBe4ZYQRqnTbzWQ9G5Wt-86D2ong1wK9JfTBw79T7wTqT0ChgwtHyWJAP6Usk2sN0c1sAxUI7a1HToxS42nyEStMCu0P5p3DUoIAHwdZ3jGWgKEoIQ2G4yzXKBS6PNWnmTFqe70YoDcz9_RJGfGjCoUn4ZvJT0vTePKpvf6vGQ7PJ-tYkZ
• Seth Godin's Blog: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/
• Michael Prager's blog about a public debate with Gifford and LEED: 
  http://www.michaelprager.com/LEED_doubts_gifford_owens_NESEA
• Robert Watson on Wikipedia: 
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_K._Watson
  
• Robert Watson on Twitter: 
  https://twitter.com/kilrwat
  
• A screen capture of the tweets Rob Watson posted:

Blogging From Kansas City, MO

On Sunday I flew in to Kansas City, M.O., with a few others in the energy industry for a conference on home performance.  It's been quite an educational week!  

Some of the beauty of it all, to me, is how connected it is to my film project.  What I have learned while working on my film, I bring to my full time job.  What I have learned at my full time job, I have brought to my first documentary film.  It's quite a beautiful thing, really.  I'm learning, growing and leading--and loving it all.  

One of the really great things is how my work at my full time job is directly tied to some of the work Surry is doing with the Montagnards.  I don't know enough to publish any of the details, but I am certain they are interconnected, and that's truly divine and delightful.  I hope it comes to fruition.

Last weekend I made some excellent progress on the screenplay, and hope to keep moving full steam ahead when I return to Raleigh, N.C.  My editors are set to meet this month, and so the pressure is on!  I have to get my house cleaned up to have them over, but first the screenplay must be finished so we're all on board heading in the same direciton.  It's going to be quite a wonderful first film, for certain!

Themes

Our film has so many universal themes, something that really excites me.  The more I work on this film, the more I realize how many themes there are:

• Love
• Faith
• Family
• Promise
• Sacrifice
• War
• Loyalty
• Honor
• Pride
• Integrity
• Brotherhood
• Fear
• Conspiracy
• Freedom

It's easy to say that one has wept.  It's a much different thing to find yourself weeping while reading and writing a screenplay.  It is truly a labor of love, and one I hope to finish very soon so that I can move straight into editing.  The pressure I'm putting on myself to get this finished as soon as possible is both helpful and incredibly painful.  It's a part of me every day.

My team is waiting on me.  The army of volunteers (film editors, writers, marketers, designers, musicians, talent managers, animators...the list goes on) is waiting for my signal.  They are talented and reliable, and I am so excited to be given the chance to work with them.  I hope that this work will bring them more work, and a financial reward for their dedication to their craft.  I cannot wait to celebrate them, and the rest of the cast--people that have so willlingly dedicated their time without asking anything in return.

It's an undeniable fact that working on this particular film is giving me the foundation for making many other films great.  The lessons I am learning from our country's heroes (American's and our allies) are helping shape me into a better leader.  This experience is fundamentaly altering me in ways I had not anticipated.  It feels as if every step of my life has led to this point, and now is the time to make it all work.  It's time to do what I promised I would do.  It's time to finish what was started.

This film is changing my life in a positive way.  I hope that I can repay the favor.

Filmmaking: The Work of Art

This is the first screenplay I've ever written in completion.  It's quite an undertaking, and I will confess that I underestimated how much a writer must surely labor over every line and every transition in the story.

So, from time to time, I will look up from my screenplay and day dream to give my mind a moment to explore ideas beyond the story of the Montagnards, Special Forces and Vietnam War.  This can be viewed by some as time that's not productive--but to the artist, it is absolutely necessary because it allows the mind to wander, explore and create the unexpected.

During the past week or two, these moments of exploration continuously bring me to a slowly forming list.  Because of my obsessive reading over the years, I have been told that a person in Hollywood must have a list of favorite movies, because people in the business like to talk about the business of making movies.  While I'm in Raleigh, N.C., making my first documentary with my team of volunteers (a much smaller scale production that a Hollywood blockbuster film), I can completely understand the practice.  It's the same concept of social media: people talk about what interests them and are attracted to people that share what my mom calls common points of reference.  Simply put: it's something to talk about and that gives you a way to feel connected to other people.

Choosing favorites, for me, is really difficult.  I'm an artist.  I don't want to choose one favorite color because I want to use them all at some point.  Regardless, though, I find myself making my own list of favorite movies--for completely different reasons than those books about surviving / thriving in Hollywood told me were important.

Now I find myself reliving the movies I've loved for years, and adding them to my list, because I appreciate them for so much more than just a good movie.  They are true works of art.  Stories that have made me cry or weep uncontrollably, laugh out loud, change my behavior, share a personal joke with the friend that saw it with me, learn about something happening in our world today...the list goes on.

While I've been laboring over the screenplay, I look up from time to time and let my mind wander.  It continues to return to this list of favorite movies, and why I love them so much.  I now understand, from my own smaller scale experience, how much work went into creating them.  Labors of love that created the final work of art.  I only hope our final, finished product will be one that moves our audience as much as my favorites have moved me.

The story of the Montagnards is a beautiful, yet tragic one.  When I tell people what it's about, I usually say it's a story of brotherhood, family, love, sacrifice, war, death, promises, policy, glory and freedom.  It's about a group of people and how they've adapted to the changes around them.  I only hope, with the deepest genuine promise I can offer, that we do the story justice.  And I think that's an honest fear that all artists face, no matter their medium.

It's Been a While

You've not heard from me in a while, and it's because I've had my nose in transcripts for quite some time. Last weekend I wrote a really long blog post, but never published it. This week, as I worked on the film, I paused to think, "I must edit that post and let our team know where we are in the process, or at least let them know I'm still working hard at it." Then I look back at the work in front of me and dive back into the deep end. I find that the quiet has been necessary for concentration, and it has been rewarding.

I have to confess, the process of reviewing the transcripts and piecing together the screenplay is both a labor of love and a thrill. The pieces have been floating around in my head for so long that I am elated to put them in order. I look forward to the moment of relief--when the film is finished and being burned on DVD--where I can stand back and think, "Wow, that was fun. Now I can dust off my hands and start navigating the next uncharted territory." The entire process has been an adventure, and each step teaches me new lessons.

My family, friends, and anyone else interested in following this process: it is thrilling. I pinch myself in disbelief regularly while working on it. I honestly cannot wait to show you the finished product about the Montagnards, and I protest my dedication to making it the best we possibly can make. Keep the thoughts and positive wishes going, it is most encouraging!

Milestones

In life, we have milestones in our lives like birthday parties, newborn announcements and weddings. There's a hooplah around some of our most memorable, life-changing events. We come together to celebrate as a tribe, surrounded by those whom we love and love us in return. It is delightful because it is shared.

So, it is my opinion that we must celebrate milestones on this project as well! We are approaching our one-year anniversary of starting the project. And, as I look back on the past year, I realize how much I have learned and how many wonderful people I have had the honor to meet--it has been an extraordinary adventure!

We have completed production, moved into post-production, and are quickly approaching some new milestones. Each of the tapes has been digitized and transcription of the interviews will soon begin. This, I feel, is to be celebrated! It has been a long journey, and a milestone like this one feels incredibly significant.

We continue to work hard to collect archival images and audio, dive into the 30+ hours of footage, and craft our story. We certainly have our work cut out for us, but the team that has gathered together--a team of talented, enthusiastic, and genuine people--will keep this project soaring.

There is much work to be completed, and it shall be done!

Transitions

Whew, it's been a while since I've written any updates on our film project. There are a few reasons for this, the biggest being the transition to post-production. We wrapped filming in January, and upon my return to Raleigh I immediately jumped into post-production. It's an exciting time--full of new challenges and lessons to learn.

The response to our inquiries about archived footage and images has been blissfully overwhelming. I have quite a wealth of visuals from which to choose, once we get the point of needing them (after creating the storyline, and before we start adding animated graphics and music). I cannot express how delighted I am by having so much to choose from; it has been a concern of mine for quite some time. To tell this story, we must have visuals to add to the interviews. I hope that I am not over-confident in what we have, though. It feels very similar to packing for a journey: where do you draw the line between being over-prepared and not prepared enough for your trip and the weather you'll encounter? (That analogy may be a stretch, but I'll let it rest there.)

So, what have I been doing with my time, you ask? Lots and lots and lots of planning and reviewing! I've been reading transcripts and watching footage, making notes of little "nuggets" of information that are important to the story. And similar to writing a term paper, I have been putting these bits of information on note cards.

Using real-life 3x5 note cards seems like an antiquated process, but it's the writer in me that needs the physical pieces of paper. Plus, by putting them on these tangible pieces of paper, I can reorganize them quickly as I see fit. And like Twitter's 140 character limit, the note cards limit me to very targeted thoughts and ideas. I can only fit so much on one of them, and that forces me to stay focused.

Right now I have about 100 cards that I carry with me, wrapped in a hair tie. No need to worry about batteries dying or loosing an internet connection--I have them right in front of me to organize and reorganize as I think through the story. Plus, people are less likely to look over my should when I feverishly scribble on pieces of paper versus an open laptop. It's not the most efficient process for the long haul, but right now it works beautifully. I can review them anywhere I go, and can post them on the wall at home if I need to stand in front of a linear view of the story. I like having them on a wall while at home. It makes it so real and personal, for whatever reason. (Much like sketching the design of a logo before sitting down to create it at a computer.)

This process may not be the best means of creating a story for everyone, so I'm not promoting it as a solution to your own challenges. It is simply working well for me right now, and that matters a lot to me. Identifying and then enlisting these processes is becoming second nature. Finding a way to make the work efficient, then testing them and trying them on is quite fun.

Surry and I had a great conversation yesterday about our plans for moving forward. We are both wrapping our heads around the process, focused on moving forward efficiently and in excellence. I am so honored to have such a fine partnership on my first film. He is setting the bar so high!

I feel like the work we're doing right now is very targeted and a little less blog-worthy because it's rather solitary work, but I'll do my best to keep you posted on our progress. Once we have our story outlined (like a recipie), we will jump head first into editing the 30+ hours of footage. Whew, it's going to be a long process!

The 8mm Projector

About a week ago, Surry shared his 8mm footage and projector with me. I brought them both home, terribly excited to have my hands on some footage from Vietnam to use in our film about the Montagnards. But I was also incredibly nervous that I would do something clumsy and cause something to stop working (like make the brittle film break, for example).

Tuesday of last week, I sat down with the projector and carefully took it apart like an archaeologist not knowing how to operate it properly. I figured out how to finally get the cover off, get the plug out, and turn it on. Success! The light came on, and that familiar sound of a film projector was music to my ears.

Until the light went out. I tried turning it on again, but had no luck. The bulb was gone. Here's a really terrible picture I took with my Blackberry so I can find another one.

Since the bulb went out, I have been trying to figure out how to view the footage (short of looking at it by hand, but I'm nervous about messing it up). Several people within my communities have kindly offered advice, and are helping me figure it out. Yesterday I even found a company that will do the conversion to DVD for you. I'm bound and determined to view this footage without paying an arm and a leg to have it converted, though. The past few interviews required travel, and my credit cards are pretty hot right now.

It's quite easy to let something like this distract me from getting things completed. It's important to stay on track when you only have nights and weekends to work on a project like this, and especially since I'm easily distracted by challenges like this one. Thankfully, my full time job has helped me become an expert time manager. I can recognize when I'm focused on something that should not be such a high priority so I can get other things marked off my to do list. And at the top of that list is finishing the script.

The script!

Right now, for the upcoming month, I am trying to focus on the script. I want to use the transcripts of our 30+ hours of footage to create a script. Surry and I both think this will help us create a blueprint for our small army of volunteers because we have so much footage. That way, when we all sit down to work, we know that we're creating the same film. And it will also save us from creating one film, viewing it, and then deciding we want to do something totally different later. Yes, in order to make the best use of our volunteers' time, we are creating a script to use as a guideline for everyone involved on the project.

So, while I am focusing on that every day (reading, writing, taking notes, rewriting, editing, etc.), this little nagging thought about the 8mm film keeps floating to the surface. I am thinking that once the script is completed, and once the editors start working, I can then focus on it again.

Regardless, if anyone knows anything about this (how to find a new bulb, someone willing to convert it in exchange for film credits, etc.), I would be most grateful! My Twitter community is already sharing such great information with me, and I feel most thankful to have their help!

A Week & A Day

Leaving MN/WI
How does a week go by so quickly?! It is hard to believe that just a week and a day ago, I was in the air returning from my MN/WI trip to interview John Plaster. The trip was just...unforgettable. In every way that a trip can be unforgettable: ease of flight/travel, kind people everywhere you go, delicious food, and of course two of the kindest hosts/tour guides to show you around.

I'm still on quite a natural high from the trip, and have been overjoyed when people ask me to tell them about it. It's probably impossible for me to hide my enthusiasm over such a successful filmmaking adventure. And I don't just mean the travel or the experience, I mean that the interview and the subsequent scanning of images were incredibly impressive. John has written a book about the SOG history, and has an amazing library of images that he so kindly shared with me. If you're interested in war history, go pick up a copy SOG: A Photo History of the Secret Wars. You won't regret it, and I'll thank you for supporting someone who's been so kind to me.

COLD, COLD, COLD
During my first few days up north, I kept thinking, "This weather isn't that bad, actually. I psyched myself up for it, and I haven't even needed a hat!" But, of course, I spoke too soon. Friday afternoon and Saturday morning were the most frigid temperatures I have ever experienced in my entire life!

I woke up that Saturday morning to -16F, with a wind chill that made it feel like -36F. YIKES! By the time I got to the airport around 1pm, it had warmed up to a cool zero degrees. While John and Gail have a lovely haven to call home in the MN/WI area, I do believe I headed South just in time. How lucky I was to have such great weather during my trip, though. John and his wife have convinced me to return after spring so that I can see even more of the beauty there. I do hope to make that happen.

Back in Raleigh, The Debrief
The Sunday following my departure was quite exciting, too. I got to catch up with my improv community over practice, and that evening filled Surry in on details of the trip. We talked about our next steps, and created a few action items for ourselves. It was incredibly exciting to talk about the coming months of work, and recognize that we had reached a significant milestone. We have concluded the interview process, now totaling 15 interviews!

Monday: Footage
On Monday, Surry did some searching and found some 8mm of archived footage from his time in Vietnam (as well as an 8mm film projector). That same day, I found a way to *finally* scan in the 35mm slides he shared with me so many months ago. While I haven't proven that this method of scanning the 35mm slides will work, I at least have a positive lead and that feels really great. What an exciting day!

Tuesday: Career Coach
Tuesday was equally thrilling, as I checked in with my career coach and told her about all of the exciting things happening at work and on my film. She's been instrumental in helping me stay balanced, focused and energized. The phone call with her was enough of a reason to be totally thrilled with the entire day.

She's giving me the tools I need to work more efficiently, something I really appreciate because I am trying to accomplish too much in too little time. (At least that is how it feels because I'm anxious to finish the film to share it, but I work full time as well) So, the more efficient I become, the more I can do, right? (OK, to a certain extent. You don't want to become too focused on efficient behavior because then you just work too much and have no time for important conversations and fun.)

One of the lessons she's helping me understand is how to more effectively deal with paper work. I've always been terrible about paper work. Mail piles up, and I can never find what I need because books are always stacked too high and falling over everywhere. Tax season makes me nauseous because I have to collect all of my paperwork I should have been organizing for a year. It's embarrasing to admit, so I'm dubmfounded as to why I'm writing about it openly. It's such an incredibly annoying habit of mine. But no more! Just like taking one's coat off and hanging it in the coat closet immediately, I am learning to touch paper only once and be done with it. Don't even let that task get on your to do list--just deal with it right then and there.

It's the same with Surry, I have noticed. When we chatted on Sunday about calling a few folks he knew, he immediately went to get the phone. Immediate action! Today, when we talked about looking for more prints and 35mm slides, he immediately went to go pick them up for me. Immediate action! It helps you become more efficient, and everyone loves to work with a person that can react so quickly. It's delightful, and I think I'm getting better at it.

Triangle Tweetup
Thursday was the Triangle Tweetup, where I met lots of my fellow Twitter folks (also known as Tweeps) in person. It was a packed house, with an estimated 100+ people there. There were presentations on what some of those in the Triangle Twitter community are working on, and I'm absolutely fascinated. So many great entrepreneurial projects are thriving here, even in a down economy. The Triangle Twitter community is absolutely amazing--so energetic, enthusiastic, intelligent and supportive--and I'm so lucky to keep meeting these impressive folks.

For the Twitter/social media doubters, I just wish you could have experienced it. The entire evening was like being surrounded by family, where everyone was curious about what you do and wants to help. I could harldy take one step without someone else introducing themselves! It was wonderful!

This part of the filmmaking process has often felt solitary because it requires a lot of reading, writing and research. It was rewarding to learn that people in the Triangle have been enjoying my writing about the filmmaking process, and are exciting to see the finished product. I feel like I've learned a lot from them. There was a lot of love in the room, for sure.

Here's a picture taking by Jeff Cohen, who is also on Twitter (@dgtlpapercuts, http://twitter.com/dgtlpapercuts). Edge Office was so packed! While I don't know the folks at Edge Office, I do most certainly appreciate their support by providing a place for us to gather--especially such a stylish place as theirs.

Meeting with Matthew
On Saturday, I met with one of my editors, Matthew. We had a long conversation about the film, creating the story, the filmmaking process, and what to expect in these next months. It was really great to sit with someone and tell the story: what do I want the audience to take away at the end of it? How do I want them to feel? It was unexpected, but not surprising, that I felt a rush of emotion wash over me as I talked about the Montagnards and how I want each person to feel a sense of honor and pride when they leave.

Matthew allowed me to explore this through comparison to other films, and I immediately thought of Braveheart. A story about a man who loves a woman he looses, but he stays incredibly strong in the face of adversity, and he leads his people to stand and fight for what's right. Although that film is quite long, you leave it feeling stronger and prouder. You feel the honor he felt in fighting for freedom.

Each time Matthew and I sit down to talk, I feel a sense of relief. He's been editing for about 10 years now, he said, and so he knows the process (both technically and emotionally) and gave me some serious insight and advice. I hold his words in such high regard, as he seems like a kindred spirit--someone willing to work on something because of the potential in the project. He helped me remember that I'm now entering uncharted territory again, and that it's OK to take small steps in order to learn how to walk again. We spent about 2.5 hours talking, and at the end of it I felt like a great weight had lifted. It was more therapeutic than he probably knows!

More Archived Footage
Today, Surry and I met to talk some more about where we are in the project, and where we need to go next. I filled him in on the things I had been doing all week, and he did the same. It's delighftul to have a partner in crime, someone there to help you work in the right direction. I feel like we make a pretty damn fine team, if ya don't mind me sayin' so!

Here's a picture of all the archived footage he has shared with me (both 35mm slides, printed images and 8mm films). Quite a collection!

I am overwhelmingly inundated with exactly the visuals I need--and from so many sources: Mike, Charlie, John, Surry and his contacts. Ask and you shall receive! There are still avenues to pursue for more archived visuals, and Surry and I are working on those diligently. I would much rather have too many images now, than get three or more months down the road and have to start the hunting process all over again. 'Tis better, in my opinion, to have too much good stuff from which to choose than not enough. The last thing anyone wants to watch is talking heads (improv taught me that).

The Website
We also talked about the website today. I've noticed that interest is growing in our project, and I have spent a fair amount of time explaining it to various folks in face to face conversations. That leads me to question how many others want to know more of this overview? And how many others are scanning the blog to hunt for information I should be putting on display?

The website, to me, was going to be a part of the post-production process--something to be completed when the film is finished so that the visuals are consistent with the branding of the movie. I'm quite a branding geek, and love to have all visuals consistent (DVD lables, cases, posters, website, and so on).

However, I now recognize the need for a website to pick up where this blog leaves off, something that can help introduce people to the movie even before it is completed. And now that I sit down to think on this, it seems like a natural step in Hollywood to build excitement about a film that has not yet been finished. So, it seems, we will have that project to work on while simultaneously writing the script (a blueprint for all volunteers to help build the same movie). The website may not look like the final brand, but I think that's alright. Right now, if we focus on creating the content and navigational architecture, that will make the work at the end of the project run so smoothly.

There is still much work to be done. All of it is exciting--never a dull moment!

This week has been one of the most amazing by far, though. I even went running on Saturday--for the first time in months because I was so sick with bronchitis. It feels amazing to be healthy and hustling towards our goal of completing the film in the coming months. I finally feel like the old Camden again. Ohhhh, and for that, I am so thankful!

In short, I feel like I am soaring--not because of what I have done, but because of the talent, passion, intelligence and dedication of those that surround me. Building a power team like this helps one be a true mover and a shaker, and I am starting to really understand that now. I always knew it, but had not really experienced it until now. I'm surrounded by greatness.