Hawaii = Vietnam?

I went to see the latest Batman movie when it opened. And one of the trailers before the movie started with scenes from Vietnam, with guys in uniform running and helicopters exploding and such. It felt very real.

So real, in fact, that I immediately burst into tears. I was so overwhelmed with emotion from the interviews I had recently conducted that these few seconds of trailer brought me to tears. It was as if these emotions rushed over me when the helicopter exploded. I felt every emotion I've been feeling during the interviews, and finally came face to face with them: empathy, sadness, fear, and confusion. In a matter of seconds, I was transformed. And all of these reactions were to a trailer in a theater, no where close to living through it in real life. All that I had felt during interviews in June, July and August came rushing to the surface I could no longer hold back the tears.

At least, until they cut to the scene where Ben Stiller lay on the ground and Robert Downey Jr. cries and the actor/director yells, "Cut!" Immediately I was transformed again, but this time I could not stop laughing. I had forgotten that Tropic Thunder was about to be released, despite making note of it prior to starting this film project.

The trailer for Tropic Thunder made me want to go see it. Not because it's a Ben Stiller movie or because it's a comedy, but because it is a movie within a movie pretending to be about the Vietnam War. I wanted to be immersed in the Vietnam War experience. I wanted to feel like I was in country, walking through the mud, sweating in the miserable heat, and unsure if I would live to see tomorrow. I wanted to know what it felt like, and what better way to visit a Communist country than via a theater in Raleigh watching a movie shot in Hawaii pretending to be Vietnam. (Sense the sarcasm about Hollywood's ways? If not, don't go see the movie, because it's full of painful, beautiful punches at Hollywood.)

The movie was good, for comedy's sake anyway. It has little to do with the Vietnam War, though. I had trouble with the plot, knowing what I now know about the real Vietnam and how they are mistreating people. But if you can control your thoughts enough to fall into that 'willing suspension of disbelief' and take it at face value, it's not a bad movie, and will certainly make most American audiences laugh a lot. I know I was laughing loudly, even as I walked out of the theater and got into my little foreign car.

What I find most interesting, is the buzz surrounding the movie. There were many activists boycotting the movie because of the use of the word 'retard' and others talking about the political incorrectness of Robert Downey Jr.'s depiction of a white Australian actor who undergoes skin tinting to play the role of a black man in the movie within the movie. What I like about the backlash is that it is a reaction to the movie. The film is powerful enough to ellicit a boycott, for crying out loud. Just imagine what other films could do.

My comments on the film are belated since I saw it mid-month, but it is relative to the project we are working on, and so I wanted to capture these thoughts. And as a filmmaker, I want to take note of how important it is to fully research and understand something (a people, a country, a war, a time period) in order to portray it for others.

It is easy to blindly accept the 'truth' portrayed, and I hope that we can inspire people to seek their own truths. Yes, we have points we want to proove, but don't take these opinions as gospel. Do research, and keep seeking the truth. One film cannot give summize everything about the Montagnard people. Ce n'est pas possible.

First Five Transcriptions

Transcriptions from five tapes are in! How exciting. Meetings yesterday with volunteers went wonderfully, and are hugely motivating to keep this project going on time. Still reading as much as possible before falling asleep at night, and playing the movie in my head. Oh, goodness, it does seem possible to have it finished! I know so!! More to come...

Lunch Break Blogging

Yesterday I filmed an interview with a man named Thomas, thanks to Surry's support in coordinating the day, time and location. What a wonderful thing to have his help in setting up the interview; it made things incredibly easy for me to focus on getting what we need on camera!

The interview went well, I believe. While I've not reviewed the tapes yet, the conversation was very good and Thomas was a passionate speaker. I cannot express my excitement when he showed up carrying a bag full of photos and books to share! He even had a photo copy of a letter to share with me, describing events that took place while he served as a leader in combat during the Vietnam War.

Yesterday was a beautiful end to what started as a very stressful day. I had been hoping for miracles, and the second he started sharing those photos a feeling of renewed strength washed over me.

Surry also helped me pack up my car with all of the equipment, which wonderfully lightened my load. Packing and unpacking the equipment is a task that I'm becoming very efficient with as we conduct each interview. I had prepared to have an hour of set up time, and completed the set up in half the amount of time. (But I suspect that Surry's help in setting up the room cut that time in half, not my own efforts!)

He shared with me three carousels of 35mm slides that he shot during Vietnam. Oh, the joy! I am so excited to have this material! As I keep playing the movie in my head, I have been pained by the lack of archival footage and imagery. Each step of the process presents a new challenge, and this one has been the thorn in my side of late. Not something which I have focused on too much, but feel it resting there just waiting to become a bigger problem down the road, you know? Any-whoo, I am very excited to now have some of those materials to sort through and trust that more are on the way. We need those images to use while others talk, so that our viewers can see and understand what the interviewees describe.

Also, I have been reading (or studying, rather) Dr. Gerald Hickey's books, and am very excited to revisit them because they so appropriately detail what I have learned during each interview. As they are on my bedside table, I cannot quote them to you here yet, but I am excited to report them very soon. For those new to the subject matter, Dr. Hickey is the expert on the Montagnard history, culture and traditions. Reading his books puts everything into perspective. More on that soon!

Surry and I spent some time yesterday reviewing the priorities on our to do lists, and at one point we simultaneously sighed. It's obvious that we have our work cut out for us, but I think that the team we're building is going to help us execute this with excellence. We have our three points to make, and are focusing on sharing those with everyone using the media of this documentary film.

Today I have meetings with two of my volunteers, which I am very excited about. Doing this project on nights and weekends lends itself to taking an incredibly long time to finish since your time is limited each day. In my marketing communications experience, you can only have two of three of the following: cost effectiveness, timeliness, or quality. It is very tough to have all three at the same time. And similarly, it is very difficult to have all three while working full time. BUT! There's the joy! It is possible when you have such a cracker jack team of volunteers like the ones we have here. I'm overwhelmed at the support they've provided and continue to offer, and trust that more volunteers will arrive soon. In the past month, I've had a few folks say they want to help, but don't know how just yet. Trust me, friends, there is enough work to be shared and we shall find a place where you can happily volunteer!

My sister called me pushy once. I balked at the statement, proclaiming that I was most certainly not pushy by any definition. Well...she has proven to be correct. I suppose I can be quite pushy, but in this situation, I am thankful for that trait. We must push forward to get this show on the road, and I believe we can get it finished in the coming month or two. I am confident that the miracle will take place, and we will be sharing the first cut very soon! It is not hopeful, it is a must.

More Filming

Had lunch with Lap on Friday, talked about how to teach his son his language. He's passionate about preserving his language and culture, something I can relate to completely. I am from Eastern NC and have very little of that accent left according to some folks. An Englishman said I sounded like a Yankee last month, others have said I sound Canadian. Anyway, I can relate to the importance of preserving one's family history and culture. I hope I can help out in some way (somewhat selfishly so that I can learn the language, too).

He allowed me the honor of filming his sister's wedding that Saturday. It was a Montagnard-American wedding led by a Spanish-speaking pastor. Very cool. The bride and groom kept thanking me, telling me that it was such a blessing. I'm looking forward to giving them the edited copy as soon as I get the chance.

We're filming another interview tomorrow. Transcriptions are in progress, as is digitizing of tapes. It's been very cool to have the work continue while I rested up (I slept 10 hours on Saturday night and woke up at 5:30am on Sunday confused about what day it was!). There's much to be done, and the pressure's on to keep it going. I think we can, I think we can, I think we can!

The Army Grows

Renewed Strength
The past weeks have left me a bit exhausted as burning the candle at both ends catches up to me. When I tell people I work full time, am creating a documentary and do improv, they question how I stay balanced. In fact, staying balanced is one of the most important things a person can do, I believe. I'm not the best example, but I do try to keep balanced by working hard and playing hard.

But lately I have found myself very cranky and irritable, quick to keep meetings running at their most efficient for lack of time to gab. When one runs so efficiently all the time, though, it leaves little time for breathing room. So, after recognizing that I've been especially cranky, I went to bed really early last night. This morning I am refreshed and renewed again!

Originally I had planned to take this Friday as a vacation day, but deadlines at work require me to stay focused there. So it is a half and half day: half working on work stuff and half working on film stuff. So, half work and half vacation (but not vacation). Ha! Try that one on for size.

Vietnamese Food and Geek Speek
Anway, I sit at Cup-A-Joe buzzed on coffee waiting for my lunch appointment at Dalat, a Vietnamese restaurant a few steps away. One of the Montagnards who has been especially kind in helping me work on this project is interested in the software we're using for the film. Being a tech geeky girl, I'm always happy to talk about the latest/greatest tech stuff (even though I'm not one of those true-blood, scientific tech geeks). I mostly drool over the equipment and how awesome it can perform. And lately, as my improv team increases its marketing efforts, I find more and more people interested in my photography, design and marketing geek side. It's exciting to have those conversations about what I love. I digress, though.

The Army Grows
This morning I got an email from Todd Weeks of GypsyQuaker, a creative professional with whom I work at Advanced Energy. He is the type of vendor you delight in outsourcing to because he is excited and hungry to work with you. I had mentioned this little side project of mine, and the undeniable need for creative professionals like designers and writers, and he has offered to help me in some capacity. It is very exciting to see the film army growing! How lucky I am to be surrounded by such creative and talented people, all willing to offer their talents to work on this project.

I find myself giving the same speach each time someone joins the project: tell me when it stops being fun for you. We need much support from so many people, and I am happy to take all the help I can get, so I have asked each one to set very clear boundaries for me. And, of course, each person with whom I am working has done just that. "No, I can't meet then because this is a priority for me." (What a joy to hear that!) "No, I'm only available to work through this month because another project will come up at that time." It's absolutely rewarding to hear these people set those very clear boundaries because it allows us all to collaborate more effectively.

While Todd and I have not set the specifics for the support he's provided, I hope he does not mind me gushing of the offer of his assistance. It is a very rewarding feeling.

Communication Continues
Emails come to me almost daily as we all collaborate on this project. It's very exciting to hear that work is moving forward without you pounding the pavement at every turn. While I have been regaining strength, Doc has been digitizing tapes, Emma has been doing research on film festivals and outlets for screening the film, Matt has been looking into films I need to see, Annie Beth has been researching how music drives the plot forward and where we can find local artists to join the project, and Surry (last but not least) has been keeping a watchful eye over the project as a whole to be sure we have all of the right people in front of the camera, and that we tell the story in the most effective manner.

Counting Down
I worke up this morning and realized we were already eight days into August. Originally I had been pushing to have the project finished by the end of August, and that seems less likely now. But, as a friend pointed out on Sunday night, these are self-imposed deadlines for a false sense of pressure to drive the project forward. I do plan to keep the momentum going, that is certain!

The Arts are Alive in Raleigh

Wow, so quickly each week passes! How is it already Sunday?

This week has been a great one, in that I have been focused on staying balanced. When I got the ticket for my tags being out I realized that I had been neglecting things in my personal life (which is pretty easy to do when the work you're doing doesn't feel like work at all). So, this week I did things that I haven't done in a while. Things that are seemingly unimportant, but are oh-so important to keeping balanced (working out, doing dishes, buying groceries, paying bills and such).

On Tuesday I went to the Sara Bareilles, Counting Crows, and Maroon 5 concert. It was an incredible night, and a much needed evening of fun. We got into the VIP tent to hear the Brooks Wood Band, a local group my friend knows. I bought their $5 CD and have been enjoying it since. They are a great local band, and the more I learn about the artists in North Carolina, the more excited I get at the thought of collaborating with them. The collaboration is really what draws me to the art of filmmaking.

And it feels like the arts are alive in Raleigh, which is a great! I went downtown today to put up fliers for my improv group and everyone was very supportive. With First Friday and so many art galleries and cool hangouts sprouting up, the outlook is truly positive for showing an indie film and that is really cool (for lack of a better term).

More to come later!

The Importance of Social Media

Without a doubt, the process by which I have been making this film would be completely different were I doing it years ago. Social media, or Web 2.0, is fascinating to watch and I have been learning all I can about it at work.

Wikipedia, an online encyclopedia is an example of social media and defines the term as

...an umbrella term that defines the various activities that integrate technology, social interaction, and the construction of words, pictures, videos and audio. This interaction, and the manner in which information is presented, depends on the varied perspectives and "building" of shared meaning among communities, as people share their stories, and understandings.

Essentially, social media tools (like this blog) are changing the way we communicate by allowing us to share information faster and easier. And it allows us to reach people that we would never otherwise reach.

For example, my last post was about a book I bought. I wrote about it the evening I bought it, and by the time I woke up the next morning he had commented on my entry! A few years ago, the two of us would have had to communicate by email or snail mail, and the likelihood of him responding might be slim to none. But today, I wrote about it and a few hours later he had responded.

There are people in social media that track and analyze things like this and could probably respond in a matter of minutes or hours. That's the speed of communication we're hitting now, which is incredibly fascinating. Of course, the phone is just as fast if someone answers, but this is all electronic connection, and because of that the echos of the initial conversations (or spirals, or threads) are the true genius. One person does something that another writes about, and then another writes about that, and then before you know it you've reached hundreds of people.

Social media is giving everyone of us a voice. It's a "power to the people" revolution. In May I attended an AMA event called Social Media Marketing Workshop, led by Jim Tobin of Ignite Social Media. The event was very helpful in showing me how to share what social media is, exactly, and why corporations are slow to jump on (when they should be tuned in and ready to act instead).

The next day I attended Blog Carolinas, a "conversation about social media in the enterprise", which was also very informative. It was great to meet other folks who were thinking about social media, and networking with folks who have the answers others are seeking.

Last night I attended a Blogger Bash in Raleigh, an event Chris Moore told me about. It is another example of how social media tools are changing how we communicate with one another. I was working the concessions stand at ComedyWorx one night and a girl told me that she just started following my feed on Twitter. We had never met in person, but because of Twitter I now had a new connection that would otherwise not exist.

The Blogger Bash was really fun. As it turns out, there were quite a few social media faces I recognized, one of which was my very first improv teacher! I had not seen him in years, and it was great to catch up and be introduced to his wife. Because of social media tools, people all over are reuniting.

The point to all of this is that social media (or Web 2.0) is expanding the means by which we make things happen. Words become more than just words, they become action. And that action leads to other action and so on. I'm still learning all I can about it so that I can better verbalize what social media is and why it is important, but I already recognize how it is changing the filmmaking process for me.

Because of social media tools, I have found support from volunteers willing to offer their time and support. And before the film has even been completed, there are people expressing their interest in seeing it. And we don't even have the film's website up and running yet! I think that is so amazing.

There is much more work to be done on the film, and I am certainly trying to stay focused on the next steps. We are almost finished with filming, and have already started the transition into post-production. Tapes are being digitized and transcribed. I've been reading books by Dr. Hickey so that I can be a better representative of information about the Montagnards. And I've been writing plans so that we can stay on track and have this thing completed in the coming months.

Yes, there is much work to be done. But for just a few moments, I wanted to pay homage to the very exciting things happening. They are not tangible for some, but for me they are signs that this film can have a lasting, positive impact.

Oh, I've also been reading Made to Stick for work, but its connections to this film project are eerily spot-on. Chapter 1 starts off with, "Every move an Army soldier makes is preceded by a staggering amount of planning, which can be traced to an original order from the president of the United States." The entire chapter was so connected to my education about the Montagnards and the Vietnam War, it could not have been more planned had a college professor outlined it in the semester's syllabus! I've been reading this book to learn how some ideas stick around longer than others, and by what process that takes shape. It, too, is fascinating.

My education continues each day. And each day I grow more and more excited, nervous and anxious at the thought of sharing this film with audiences locally and nationally. It's a project that could not be more perfect for my first film, and the entire thing has been one lesson learned after another. The more I talk about it with others in real life, the more excited I get. And the more I talk about it with my volunteer force, the more anxious I get at the thought of sharing it publicly. The idea that folks will (hopefully) want to see my first film, and (hopefully) recommend it to others to see is very exciting! Mostly because it means that more people will be aware of the Montagnard plight, and hopefully be inspired to do something about it.

The other day I was explaining some of my filmmaking mistakes to Surry, frustrated that I wasn't able to execute some of the tasks as smoothly as I had hoped. Then I remembered another book that explains how we must be free to fail when we are in a chaotic space because we're learning something new. Of course there are going to be hurdles to overcome--it's the first time I've done a project like this, and I shouldn't beat myself up over it. You fall the first time you learn to walk, right? And, besides, just imagine how EASY the next one is going to be because I've already learned things the hard way!

But thoughts about the next project, whatever that may be, will have to wait. Right now the clock is ticking and my to do list grows with every thought about this film. There is much to be done, little time to do it, and zero dollars with which to execute these plans. But that's the exciting part! Will I finish it in time? Will the final product be as good as I have envisioned it? Will miracles happen? Will there be an audience to share it with when we're ready? Will the film have a lasting, positive impact for the Montagnards?

Only time will tell, but I certainly hope all goes well. There is a force beyond my control leading this thing as it only continues to gain momentum. That is both terrifying and exhilarating in the same breath!

Another Crabtree Valley Evening

Tonight I had another training at the Apple Store on the Final Cut Pro Creative Suite. They have made a lot of improvements since I was using it almost four years ago, many of which are really exciting. Tonight we focused on a program called Motion that will allow me to zoom in/out on still photographs, which is something I had been curious about for quite some time. We only had an hour for an intro to the program, and plan on going over some more in-depth details next week.

Tom, the guy who is going over everything with me, has been really helpful. He was pretty funny tonight, and has been really patient in explaining the programs to me (especially when I ask really silly questions). I'm excited to learn the programs and spend time with them so that I know the full extent of what can be done with our film, so that it is executed as professionally as possible. To have these things at my finger tips is very exciting!

After leaving the Apple store, I was sucked in to a quick visit at Barnes & Noble again. I do love being surrounded by books. Tonight I went in thinking I could do some quick searches on filmmaking and the Vietnam War. They had quite a few Vietnam War books on sale, one of which I have been enjoying a bit this evening. It's called "The Vietnam Ware Experience" (as if you could fit that into a book). It has a lot of images and things you can pull out to read. I really like the design of the book, in that it feels like you're looking at someone's scrap book instead of a coffee table book about the war. I've been flipping through it and enjoying it a lot.

There were only a few filmmaking books that I liked, though. Most of them are film encyclopedias of sorts, and others are about how to make it in Hollywood--neither of which are of interest to me at this point. I did end up picking up a book titled "$30 Film School" which has a great opening, which I will summarize:

"I get my stuff seen worldwide. You can, too.

Don't wait for some lumbering corporation to give you permission to make your art! This book is a map for D.I.Y. (do-it-yourself) art--specifically filmmaking. Guerilla, no-budget, drive-by filmmaking, to be exact.

I will teach you some techniques--enough to get started. This is the how of filmmaking. I will then cover concept; in other words, the why. And this can be applied to any art, not just filmmaking. This is life lessons, brothers and sisters. It's The Artist's Way meets The Art of War. Grab a camera and join us!...

Books kill trees. I need trees to live. Please plant a tree after you read this book."

--Michael W. Dean

His introduction is part of what had me sold. He got straight to the info I needed, and added a little humor and 'green message' at the end. Just what I like! So, I haven't read much of the book other than the table of contents and a few chapter starts, but what I have read I do like thus far. I'm excited to read the section on promoting / selling. He adds a lot of great resources outside of just his book, too, which is something I really like.

I have no doubt that more exciting developments are to come, and when they do I will be sure to share them with you here!

As always, if you know of someone who wants to volunteer to help with the film (design, editing, marketing, promotions, hanging up fliers, etc.), I'd love to speak with them. There are many aspects to the project that cannot be completed by one person, and I am happy to work with anyone that wants to get involved. It's going to be an exciting fall this year, I can feel it.

Growing Inertia

Last weekend felt pivotal to me, as more and more people take interest in the film project. My improv team, Big Fat & Stealthy, performed to a sold out crowd! There were so many people there, a few of which are friends who recently found out about this film project. And I realized that I had not shared the news among the improv community (except for those who know me well).

Many of them asked me what I'm working on, how I got interested in the subject, and how we plan to make money off of it. It's been a very interesting series of conversations with people that I know, and each of them lights up when they hear me talk passionately about the process. And those conversations are great, because they prepare you to answer the question the next time. And the next time. And then, you are able to speak eloquently about the subject matter because you've had that practice.

Just how much effort I am putting into the film was solidified when I realized how long it's been since I have seen some of my family and friends, though. And then on Sunday I got a fairly pointless ticket from a very polite Raleigh Police officer while Surry was in the car with me. His kindness was just what I needed as I grew angrier and angrier at myself for getting a ticket for an expired tag. His perspective was a healthy one, and helped keep me on track.

In fact, his expertise and coaching is something for which I have been incredibly grateful over the years. He is undeniably a guiding light for so many people he meets, and I honestly hope that I might be able to pay that forward one day. He's reading this so I won't gush too much, but I wanted to capture how absolutely grateful I am for that support.

Each day I also feel very lucky to have a growing number of volunteers helping with the project, too. There are so many aspects to the project, and making it all come together is becoming more and more feasible with all of the well-qualified volunteers that keep knocking on the door.

Just this week alone I have gotten emails from three key individuals who are making this happen. Matthew Duckworth is capturing the footage we've shot, and has helped create a process by which we can now start editing the film together without having to drive back and forth repeatedly. Annie Beth Brown Donahue, a friend from my hometown of Little Washington, has also been incredibly helpful in gathering music samples from local artists who can help us (hopefully) create an original score! That is something I certainly had not dreamt of doing with this project because of the lack of time to focus on the organization, and she has been hustling a lot to create a pool of talent. And Emma Finch, one of my old coworkers, has been doing research on film screening venues and film festivals so that we can be sure people get to see the film. She sent me a long email the other day just full of delicious information!

And the list of volunteers continues to grow. I've been talking to graphic designers, editors and media relations experts as well. I am hoping to put together a "street team" of people who can help deliver fliers and put up posters in local businesses when we get venues and screening events organized. And perhaps even some fund raising events could take place! I had a dream about a black tie benefit, which would be incredibly cool to arrange. It would take a lot of effort, so I have not thought on it too much as I am focused on finishing the first cut of the film right now. But this visual experience continues to return to me on occasion while driving or walking, and so I feel I cannot ignore it too much.

These next two months will be absolutely critical in getting this project completed. We have a lot of work to do in order to get it finished, but I am certain it can be wrapped. All in all, I feel so lucky each day that I think on the project. And as more and more people find out about it, and as more conversations take shape on their own (without me leading the conversation to the subject of this film), I feel the inertia growing. I feel the interest growing each time someone excitedly asks when they can see it. "Soon," I tell them. "Sometime very soon!"

Social Media

The impact social media has had on this film, has been really impressive. I'd like to write on it more, but for now I'll post a video that I found on YouTube. If you want, you can see others that are part of the series on YouTube. Fairly interesting!

We had a full day today. More information to come.



http://youtube.com/watch?v=LiwHdC9bo38

Research, Filming Continues

My father is an historian. He's an underwater archaeologist, actually. For a living he surveys things that were once above water but have now found a semi-final resting place below the surface. Using sonar, remote operative vehicles (ROVs), SCUBA equipment, and his wisdom from years of experience he finds things and tells other people what he thinks they are--whether they are small artifacts like shoes or china, or larger targets like when he identified the Monitor or the Water Witch. 

My point is that a lot of folks see what they want to when they talk with him: media attention, globe trotting or the adventure of being at sea a lot. Often they fail to recognize the amount of research that goes into the work he does, though. The hours that he spends reading, writing and reporting on the work he does. This is the work that is done in quiet, behind the scenes. And I think it's because of my parents, because of the background they gave me as a child, that I truly appreciate the research portion of any project.

When we first began this adventure in March, I dove straight in to the research trying to learn as much as I could. Now I'm revisiting the articles and books with a new appreciation for them. And I continue to be showered with more information daily. It is wonderful! 

There is some small part of me that wants to be a Ph.D. like my father, a respected expert on something historical. (Although he would never label himself as such.) I have learned so much from my parents! The research is so important...my mom never let me get away without looking up the definition of a word on my own when I asked her what something meant. "Go look it up!" 

 In an attempt to learn more about the Special Forces, I signed up to "get more information" on the U.S. Army website. A few days later, I got a letter and brochure in the mail touting the benefits of serving:

Dear Camden:

 

Thanks for your interest in the United States Army's Special Forces. As you know, the Green Berets are an intensely focused team made up of Soldiers with outstanding mental and physical skills. These specialized units undertake missions that are often highly classified and require greater responsibility than the lager more general-purposed forces. In many ways, they are on of the Army's greatest assets.

 

Being a Special Forces Soldier, you will be among a highly trained few that are equipped to carry out crucial missions. You'll be expertly skilled in small unit warfare and equally skilled in humanitarian efforts to aid indigenous populations. The foreign language training we give you will be useful as you help in building first time democratic societies. In addition, you will provide the American military with deep reconnaissance. As you push yourself to new heights mentally and physically, you will be proud to wear the Green Beret. It is truly an extraordinary accomplishment...

They go on about joining, but these two paragraphs sum up what I have learned thus far about the Special Forces. I spent some time on June 9th doing research in a Wake County library so that I can better understand what it's like to be in combat. Having never lived through anything like it, I have only my research and imagination to fill in those holes. I have never been to Vietnam, and so I rely on pictures and stories to help me understand what it was like to be there--all of which will help me retell the story as a documentary film. 

The Art of War and Masters of Chaos 

There were two books that I skimmed while I was there: The Art of War and Masters of Chaos. Ironically, I had picked up The Art of War when I was in Barnes & Noble a few weeks ago, but decided that I shouldn't spend too much time on that so I could focus on other things. (Using one's time wisely is so important in this process!) But now I realize that might have been a bit short sighted because it is so connected to the Montagnards after having a conversation last night. The way their culture developed and was impacted by others is directly tied to the art of war. A nation that cannot defend itself will fall to outside forces. 

During one of the interviews, someone looked me deep in the eye and said something to the affect of, "Why start a war that cannot be won? That's wrong!" 

The Vietnam War, and the details surrounding it, are critical for my understanding because I was not there and did not live through it. And, more importantly, because the events had a direct impact on the Montagnards. Understanding the art of war is the essence of what we're exploring!

"Warfare is the greatest affair of state, the basis of life and death, the Tao to survival or extinction. It must be thoroughly pondered and analyzed." --Sun-Tzu, The Art of War

The second book has helped me recognize patterns and connections as well. It is interesting to read the conclusions others have drawn, similarities between the Vietnam War and what is happening right now in the Middle East. I am fascinated by it, and wish I had more time to explore the topic (but want to instead focus on learning more about the Montagnard-American history right now). Nevertheles, Masters of Chaos explores the history of the Special Forces which has been helpful information for me as well:

This is the story of the Special Forces soldiers and the missions they have carried out over the last 15 years. Through them the larger story is told--of the renaissance of a unique military unit that was nearly disbanded after the Vietnam War but which now is in high demand. The war in Afghanistan brough the deeds of the Special Forces onto the front pages of the newspapers, which captured in vivid photographs and stories the men on horseback who used lasers to direct precision bombs at Taliban targets. Far less has been written about their subsequent roles in Operation Iraqi Freedom where even more Special Forces soldiers were deployed than in Vietnam. Although the image of the Special Forces soldier now may be more familiar to the average American, the reality of who he is and what he does remains largely shrouded in mystery and misconceptions.

The two books, as I previously mentioned, have helped me recognize (again!) that the topic we're exploring is of great importance. And that sharing this information with the greatest integrity is crucial. So that the same outcome is not duplicated in Iraq and Afghanistan, we must do our homework and be sure that every step of this project is done in excellence. 

My hope for this film is that it will stir Americans to seek more information so that we--as individuals, as a people, as a country--can be better world leaders. I sat across from a man last night who gently told me that his people had been abandoned by my country. He said that his people had fought with us and died for nothing, and that is unjust in every way. 

Being Politically Correct 

Last night I also learned more details about the terms 'Montagnard' and 'Dega', as I have been very curious what names should be used for one to be politically correct. There are many similarities between this group of people and the Native Americans / Indians. The different tribes, languages and cultural traditions are vastly different once you learn the details, but for an audience that needs a point of reference the American Indians are a good start. I am realizing that American audiences might benefit from such a point of reference to minimize confusion when I tell them that the Montagnards are not Vietnamese. 

Dancing Between Filming + Post 

We have a few more interviews to go, and post-production has already started. I'm incredibly anxious to get the tapes transcribed at this point, knowing that we have a lot of work to be done before the rough cut of the film can be shared with our collaborators. I am anxious to get to that stage, but am trying to be patient! The rough cut is going to be the hardest part, from what I can gather. 

Once we have the footage digitized, I know selecting the preferred clips will be easy. And that part does not have to wait for the transcription process to be complete, since I will have access to the clips and can sort, or prioritize, them easily. Since I conducted each interview, I have a photographic memory of certain quotes and think that pulling those needles from the hay stack should be fairly easy to do. Hopefully. 

It is the process by which we construct the rough cut that I keep thinking about, though. We have to find a way to tell this story so that it is visually and emotionally interesting. We have to find a way to construct the stories and images so that we portray the events with integrity, and allow the audience to draw their own conclusions. It is a great weight to bear, but we have support from many talented people that are helping guide the process. 

Call to Arms Volunteers are knocking on our door now. It is humbling! To have a zero-dollar budget, and have such qualified talent willing to volunteer is unbelievable. I am caught in disbelief at others' gravitation to the project, perhaps because I have convinced myself that not many others are willing work for experience and no pay. But low and behold, there are others who are equally dedicated, and are volunteering to help--people who are taking the initiative to make sure the film is done in excellence! It is a very rewarding feeling! 

If you (or someone you know) has a talent or skill to offer, we most certainly welcome the support. There is much work to be done!

Fog of War

Moments ago I finished watching Fog of War, a documentary about Robert McNamara, former Secretary of Defense during the Vietnam War that Matt recommended during our conversation last night.  It was fascinating and had a lot of great quotes in it about his leadership during the war.  

I knew nothing of this film until last night, and went to rent it immediately.  It has been incredibly helpful to look at how another approached a similar subject matter (ours will focus more on the Montagnard-American relationship than the Vietnam War), and how the story was crafted without any narration.  McNamara himself acts as the narrator, which is how I am approaching our film.  I prefer to have the interviewees be the voices, but we will see how that works out once we get the rough cut prepared.

More to come later.

Week in Review

So much happens in a week, it's getting difficult to keep up! Let's see how succinctly I can capture the past week's events, thoughts and revelations.

"We almost never think of the present, and when we do, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future."
- Pascal

Wednesday, July 2
Filmed two interviews with the help of Chris Moore. He was critical in getting the equipment set up at Surry's house. It took us a good two hours to clear one of the bedrooms upstairs, set up all the lights, and test the camera angles and audio. Having him there to help was a huge relief, and I'm terribly grateful for his help. It made focusing on the interviews much easier.

The interviews went well, too. We talked at great length about the Montagnards who fled to the jungles after the war ended. Because they fought with the Americans, when South Vietnam fell to communism, the Montagnard leaders were in great trouble. After 10 years of living in the jungle, they "surrendered" their arms and became political refugees in order to come to the States. They made it clear to me that they didn't want to become refugees. They simply want their own land and independence once again.

Thursday, July 3
Another vacation day devoted to filmmaking. I had three or four meetings scheduled. In the morning, I met a young man named Lap who is studying linguistic anthropology and is creating a dictionary of his language. Very cool! I must say, that seems like a huge, very exciting challenge. He offered me a lot of great insight on the Montagnards, conducting interviews and what to expect when scheduling the conversations. His help has been incredible, and I can't thank him enough. He even helped me buy a CD of Montagnard music, which I have been enjoying very much.

After the breakfast meeting, I headed over to Surry's for another interview with a man named Chris who served in the Mike Force during Vietnam. It was a very interesting interview, and I am looking forward to reviewing the tapes.

The more I interview people, the more I understand. And the more comfortable I become with conducting the interviews and asking what I would normally think are dumb questions. But I was raised to believe that there is no 'dumb question' because if you don't know the answer, you'll never find out. In this case, I am asking the same questions to hear different opinions and it is a fascinating process.

The third meeting of the day was at the Apple store, where I finally learned how to export the tapes as MP3s. What a break through! FINALLY! I'm very excited about this, and am anxious to get the tapes to the transcription agency so that we can get that process moving forward immediately. That was a great meeting in more ways than one, as it also revealed some of the critical filmmaking mistakes I've been making.

"It’s only by failing consistently that you’re really going to learn to succeed, and I mean to succeed in a superficial way, but I mean succeed as an artist…in understanding the truth of your work, and being able to implement that truth in your work."
- Stanley Tucci

But, I am staying positive about that. My background in still photography and design is coming in handy every day. But I am still learning this new medium, and so there are a lot of critical things to know that I am learning the hard way. In fact, last night there were some excellent conversations that taught me a lot...but more on that later.

Friday, July 4
Independence Day! I took the day off to relax and spend time with friends. It was quite possibly one of the most relaxing days I have had in quite some time. We played games, watched movies, shot off fireworks, ate a lot of great food and fell asleep to the comedic rants of Eddie Izzard. I marked it as a much needed day of rest. There are many cliche connections between Independence Day and this project, but I will save you from that heavy-handedness.

Saturday, July 5
In the morning, I kept the slow pace going. I feel it's important to find that balance, as one can get sick easily if the immune system is not able to keep up the fast pace. I don't like being sick, so I am doing my best to keep balanced since the amount of time I'm spending on the film has increased dramatically over the past month. This is by my own choice, of course, but I am trying to keep that Lifeguard mentality that you cannot help others if you are in danger yourself. I mean, being sick isn't being in danger, but you get the point, I hope.

I've already written a bit about what happened Saturday night in Greensboro. It was an unforgettable evening, filled with good music and dance. I am also looking forward to reviewing this footage. And I hope to get more like it so that we can craft this story in an interesting manner.

Sunday, July 6
The morning meeting over coffee with Betzi was canceled. I had hoped she could help me talk about event planning, for screening the film once it's completed. My full time job has taught me the importance of planning ahead in this department, and I do not want to wait before putting some minor effort (at least right now) into this stage of the project. After all, why create a film if you aren't willing to do the work to be sure people see it, right?

But, for various reasons, we canceled our meeting. It was for the best, honestly, as I need to stay focused on completing this stage of the project anyway: finishing interviews, digitizing tapes, transcribing the interviews, and editing the film together. Those steps are pretty monumental right now, so we can always return to the event planning at a later date.

That afternoon, Doc and I met to talk about editing the footage. He helped me get the project set up and we talked about a lot of the logistics. He's offered to be the main editor, for which I am so incredibly grateful! The day left me with a huge sense of relief, knowing that a trusted partner has just joined the 'team' to help make this thing come to life. He shared some Film 101 knowledge with me about formats, proportions, and work flow.

His expertise will help us save time and money in putting the project in motion, which refers me to what I talked about a few posts ago: looking for people that will go to war with you. It's terribly important to build that army of folks that understand what you're trying to do, and can help you make it better.

"My advice [to people who want to get into film] is to find people your own age who are incredibly talented...because they gravitate to action. Talented people ultimately find something to do. So you create circles of talent...The real alliances are with the people you came up with...if you don't loose them when you begin to get work, if you stay true to each other, those are the people who will go to war with you."
- Lynda Obst, director

The rest of the evening was spent focusing on improv, which was a welcomed break as well. Improv is so close to filmmaking in so many ways, that it helps me wrap my head around this project even more. The team I get together with each Sunday practices a form called the Harold, which is not too different than a film itself. There are elements that make the film work, and the way the scenes are edited together--the ebb and flow, the heightening of emotions, the characters--these are all tools that relate to filmmaking, and I find myself even more grateful for that training.

Two of my friends ate dinner with me after practice and let me tell them more about the project. With each layer of information I shared, their eyes grew bigger. Like me, they found it difficult to believe that things like genocide were still happening in the year 2008.

I have sources that have told me during the Vietnam War there were about 2-3 million Montagnards in Vietnam and presently only about 700,000 are there. Each person who has shared this with me starts to break their relatively detached demeanor. True compassion and hurt shows through. I have more research to do in order to confirm these numbers, but having heard it so many times I would find it hard to be false.

Monday, July 7
Back to work. It was a long day after having been out for vacation, and for other various reasons. The day weakened my spirit a bit, so that evening I didn't accomplish much other than research by means of watching I, Robot to clear my mind. It worked. I found myself thinking about characters, editing and such.

Tuesday, July 8
Last night I feel like I moved forward a lot. I met with another editor named Matt, who studied film at NCSU. He asked a lot of great questions and our conversation was a good one. We have decided that I will work with Doc as long as he is available to edit, and then Matt will help me put the pieces together. After the meeting with Matt at my house, I went to Doc's to pick up the camera and we had a great conversation, too. He shared even more of his expertise with me, about film composition and lighting.

Doc shares a lot of my values, I think. We talked about how few people recognize that opportunity often looks more like hard work than anything glorious. I think that's very true.

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you didn't take."
- Wayne Gretsky

When you see someone on Good Morning America, joyfully talking about their accomplishment, it is easy to assume that they snapped their fingers to get to that point. But, what most people fail to see is the blood, sweat and tears that went into the journey that brought the accomplishment.

I once heard an interviewer ask an actor why he had become an overnight success. The actor smiled, pausing to take in the question. I like to think he was trying to filter his response so that he didn't simply say, "No one is an overnight success!" Instead he politely replied that others might think he was an overnight success, but in reality he had been doing the same thing for years. It was only recently that he was starting to get attention for it.

Moral of the story? Focus on quality. Focus on learning. Focus on doing what you do best so that you can be a better version of yourself. And when it's your turn to get that infamous 15 minutes of fame, you'll know that when the lights fade and you become yesterday's news, you still have your integrity and honor. Because you are still you, and you haven't let something so silly as fame change you.

I don't mean to go on a soap box here, it's more like a rambling of thoughts. America makes fame seem so delicious, so worth the struggle to achieve it. I feel quite the opposite, actually. It terrifies me. Sure, it'd be great to walk down a red carpet once in my life, but I would much rather trade that for a life time of sharing stories that impact people in a positive way.

But enough of the philosophy, here; there is much work to be done and a dwindling amount of time in which to complete it. My to do list continues to grow, and my clock continues to count down to my next appointment.

Wednesday, July 9
Today. I've taken another vacation day. If you've read this far, bless ya! This is a long post, driven by the dark coffee and raw sugar I consumed an hour ago.

The day today is going to be dedicated to getting my thoughts and plans in order. Capturing the many racing thoughts that have been in my mind over the past week, so that I might share them with others in order to move this project forward in a timely fashion.

Last night during my conversation with Doc, I blurted out that I loved the research process. And I didn't remember that until last night! How did I forget that? I do love the research. Diving into something new, totally ignorant of the subject matter, open and ready to receive new information. I find that chaotic space to be so blissful.

"Chaotic space is about the randomness of life. It is about experiencing the experience as it happens, rather than having the experience with an eye to the next one...So in chaotic space all sorts of things happen randomly that impact you. It isn't the 'things' that happen, it's how you use, apply and live them that is the real impact. They come into your life, you decide or choose what you do with them."
- Nicola Phillips

Last night I had another epiphany, too. That this dream of being a filmmaker might just be possible! Why had I doubted that for so long? It is easy to let one's fear become the very thing that freezes you.

"Thinking the unthinkable; making mistakes; paradoxically these are the things that increase not decrease our personal power. Power is the ability to influence and influence is the manifestation of power. Under pressure there are times when we discover that our belief in ourselves is more fragile than we wish. By the same token some situations can surprise us and allow us to see how much influence we really have."
- Nicola Phillips

That's all for now folks. More to come later, I am sure.

The Will to Fight

Each of us has our own battles. For some, it is the constant battle to end our own addictions. For others, it is battling one’s way to climb the corporate ladder. Still, for others it is a daily battle to manage one’s time. There are an infinite number of battles one can fight, and very few of them are original. We humans have been fighting the same battles for thousands of years.

Today I found myself in a weakened state, not wanting to battle forces that disagreed with my own beliefs. I found myself counting the number of times I had gone to battle, trying to win a war that feels incredibly hopeless. I found myself counting my allies, and seeking out those whom I knew I could trust to confide in. I found myself feeling incredibly weakened and alone, save for one person who completely understood.

And tonight, as I reflect on the day I realize how silly my battle was in reality. It was so minor in comparison to the battles that have been recounted to me over the past few months. As this project moves forward, and as I fall deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole, my comprehension of the Montagnard-American compassion grows.

In the past week, I have been told countless stories of bravery, battles, challenges and victories. My past week has felt more like fiction than fact. As each story unfolds, and with each new contact I meet, I feel more and more like I have entered another world.

Saturday night I drove to Greensboro to film a Montagnard cultural event. I got there at about 5:30pm, entering the China King Restaurant weighed down with our equipment. People led me to the back of the restaurant where a man met me, and confirmed that I was, in fact, in the right place. Then, almost immediately I saw the warm smile of Surry’s friend who had been our host on June 13. Seconds later I saw another warm smile, and another, and another. For feeling like an outsider because of the language barrier, I was surrounded by friends and warm smiles.

Included here is a photo of a gift they gave me, too. It seems every time I meet with someone to talk about this project, I am given a gift! And each time, I wish that I had something to give in exchange. Then it occurred to me the other day that the big thank you will quite possibly be the film itself. By sharing these circumstances with others who—like me—didn’t know anything about Montagnard culture or very little about the negative outcomes of the end of the Vietnam War, we will be able to hopefully make some small impact.

But I am very careful not to make any promises, as so many American promises have been broken already. At the very least, we will be able to finish the interviews and start sharing them with others. And this audio and visual record will help document history—a history of a people and their land, culture and belief systems. A history of a people who—like Americans—have been fighting for their freedom for many, many years.

A day with the film

Today is going to be a full day focused on the film, as was yesterday. I've taken two vacation days from work so that I can keep things moving forward. It's a good time to do it since Independence Day is a holiday, which gives me three full extra days (in addition to the weekend). So, it's almost like having a full week to work on the film. I can't help but fantasize that this is what it would be like to have my "full time job" actually be filmmaking, as this has been my dream for so long. It is incredible to feel one's dream converge with reality.

I feel like my research on Hollywood is starting to solidify, too. For so long I have watched and read actors and filmmakers talk about how "lucky they are to work with such great talent" and how they "would work with so-and-so on another project any time", but now it's starting to get ingrained in my head.

You have to surround yourself with people that are far more talented than you are, that bring incredibly valuable skills and ideas to the table. You want to go to war with these people, and you have to trust that they will understand your vision and help you make it come to life. You need to know that they will be there to help carry you, when you are too weak to walk on your own.

It's not too different than being in the jungles of Vietnam with a Montagnard at your side to show you how to survive eating the poisonous plants and life-threatening wild life that could kill you at any moment, or a barrage of enemy fire heading straight in your direction. It is no wonder why American troops trained them and fought side-by-side with them. But, where are we now when they still suffer in Vietnam? Where are we to fight by their sides when they need us?

As I sit at this cozy Cafe Carolina in Cameron Village, waiting to meet on of the Montagnards to chat about his studies in Texas, I am reminded at how surreal this whole project feels. Yesterday was an incredible day, and it feels like each one just keeps getting better and more exciting. There is much to tell and little time to share it at the present moment, but that will come soon I am sure.

There are three interviews scheduled for today, and a meeting at the Apple store again. I've logged some of the HD footage, and recognize the insurmountable help I'm going to need editing everything into a succint 30-minute piece. But the reasons for the film are never forgotten.

Yesterday, one of my interviewees smiled at the end of almost two hours of talking, and looked me in the eye to if this film was going to help his people. The love he has for helping his people (both in Vietnam and here in the States) just pours from him. He has seen so much, survived incredible circumstances, and sat across from me yesterday asking for my help.

Every day is incredibly humbling. I told another friend a little more about the project, specifically how we want it to bring about positive change. He said, "Really? Is that one of your goals?" I like his questions because he is very grounded in reality, and helps me keep my head out of the clouds.

"Yeah, it is. We're hoping that by telling others about what's happened and is currently happening, we can make change take shape," I replied confidently. I'm hoping so. Counting on it. Knowing that this is all choreographed by something much larger and more important than I am, I feel that it could make positive change happen.

And when my interviewee looked at me smiling, asking that question yesterday, I genuinely meant that response. The Americans that fought with them made many promises, and as an American, I feel it's the least I can do. For now.

More Great Convos

As I sit in my living room, my G5 logs and captures footage in the other room. Finally, the struggle to get all technological details in order has commenced! I am terribly excited!

This week will be a busy one, full of interviews and meetings relating to the film. I have a lot of errands to run to be sure all tech stuff is in order. Thankfully, though, I am expecting to leave the equipment in the same location over the course of the next three days which will make this series of interviews infinitely easier.

And, in another turn of exciting events, two more folks have volunteered to help with the film! My friend Chris Moore will be helping me tomorrow as a director so I can focus on the interview. I am so thankful for his help! It will be great to focus on the interviewing instead of worrying about the camera and lights.

Things are falling into place, and I'm incredibly excited about the coming weeks. Namely, getting a rough cut of the film together! How exciting!

Recap of Past Few Days

Full Steam Ahead
The project is moving ahead quite well—and at full speed ahead, I might add! I have been very lucky, and incredibly grateful to have the help that continues to present itself. Oh, I do love to collaborate! I am very excited to be surrounded by people much more talented and experienced in certain areas of expertise. They are teaching me a great deal, and it is very humbling to see the momentum this project has gained. Here’s a recap of the past few days and what I’ve been focusing on specifically over those days.

Thursday, June 26
Another night spent trying to upgrade my G5 ended in frustration. Helen (one of my best friends since high school) asked me to join her on a trip to Barnes & Noble. Thankful for a break from the software aggravation I excitedly accepted (and secretly hoped to find a book that might explain what I was doing wrong).

Barnes & Noble is such a delicious indulgence. I could stay there for an entire day just browsing, reading random topic after topic. We spent some time in the business management section, and I eventually led us over to the history section. Oh, I do love the war history section! I found one shelf devoted to Vietnam and was immediately intrigued by the type of books were on display. Most of them were accounts from veterans, descriptions of their time spent dodging bullets and running through jungles. Tales of heat, humidity, dirt, heroes and camaraderie. Then there were more academic descriptions and research, the types of books that have 20-page works cited in addition to a detailed index.

I flipped through some of the latter trying to find the word I wanted: Montagnard. While it wasn’t the most scientific research, my results did prove what I suspected to be true. Very little was told about this group of people. Here was this big Vietnam sign, and only one book listed Montagnard in the index. Again, I recognize that this was not scientific research, but it did make me a bit sad to see such a profound lack of intelligence on the subject.

Not until I was introduced to Surry did I learn the word, or ever meet a Montagnard. Now that I am this deep in the project, I realize how little I once knew and even further recognize how much more I have to learn.

Why are the Montagnard people not widely discussed? Where are the heroes that made the promises to help them in Vietnam? Why are we, as a nation, not helping them more? Why in the world are we trading with Vietnam when they are reportedly treating our devoted allies so poorly?

I spent some time rereading materials Surry gave me back in March, specifically Greg’s article titled ‘Abandoned Allies’ and it brought a great weight back on my shoulders. I cannot understand how one could treat another human being with such disrespect. And it’s not just about the Montagnards, it’s bigger and more global; it’s about the Golden Rule.

Treat others as you wish to be treated.
Plain and simple.

Make a promise and keep it.
Plain and simple.

When you have something another needs, give it to them.
Plain and simple.

When you need something another has, ask for it.
Plain and simple.

Those last two thoughts are a repeat of an episode of Sex in the City, when Carrie breaks up with Ayden and has to buy back her apartment but doesn’t have the money she needs because she’s bought too many shoes. Samantha tells Carrie, “Money is fluid. If you have it, you give it. If you need it, you take it!”

We’re not just talking about Vietnam; we’re talking about being responsible world citizens. We’re talking about being world leaders. As individuals, we should demand that our government act a certain way on our behalf. That’s our RIGHT as Americans, to elect responsible officials to govern the nation.

Anyway, I digress…back to the subject at hand, right? Pardon my rant there.

Before leaving, I picked up a Time 40^th Anniversary Special devoted to the year 1968. The photos and stories inside helped me remember many important things, and helped me visit a year I never lived through. It was money well spent.

Friday, June 27
The next day I had a One on One appointment at the Apple store again. What another delicious institution. Just walking in that store makes me feel sleeker and smarter, younger and hipper (at least until I talk to one of the kids working there that makes me realize I don’t know squat about the latest technology).

My teacher, Tom, walked me through a recap of our last session. He asked if I had worked with any of the tools we’d discussed. No? Why not? Ten minutes later, he had sold me the latest OS X update.

It was a very beneficial 60 minutes, where I learned a lot about the proper way to use the program and tools that will make my life infinitely easier. Where were these tools when I was doing video editing four years ago!? Hm, I suppose they must have been included in the updates.

I tried to leave directly after our session concluded so I wouldn’t be convinced of buying anything else. Just then, the sky broke open and a great big beautiful thunder storm commenced. I walked out to the door to the mall and found a small group of women congregating by the doors, waiting for the storm to pass. Impatient at the thought of waiting for rain to fall, I took off my shoes and socks and blissfully dodged through the massive rain drops like a little girl splashing in puddles.

Out of breathe and soaking wet, I drove home and caught some pictures of the rainbows overhead. It was a peaceful, beautiful moment. I wondered how many moments like that happened in Vietnam, how many times the sun shone on the highlands and made everyone look up to the sky in appreciation—even despite being in the midst of battle.

Saturday, June 28 — A Day of Good Things
Lately I have been waking up before the alarm goes off, which is completely different than earlier in the week when I was sleeping for 10-12 hours at a time. I find myself waking up, ready to get out of bed and get to work. It’s refreshing.

Saturday was no different. I was up before 7am, and ready to go! I started installing software and got a message about the entire process taking over 100 hours. Disheartening again.

By 10am, I was at Panera reading some materials provided to me, and in walked Doc. We’d agreed to meet to talk about the project and see if he is interested and available to work on it with me. The conversation was a little disjointed by my own fault of having had coffee with too much sugar. And, I had been struggling in solitude for a few days so I was eager to pick his brain and share some “Me too!” moments.

He was very kind to my scattered mind, patient while I filtered through the details and shared thoughts on the project and what we needed to move forward. In a very exciting outcome, he has agreed to work with us to digitize the tapes and show me some tricks of the trade! Oh, so exciting!! Because of some upcoming projects, he couldn’t edit the entire project with us but is willing to volunteer to help me get it in the best shape possible before we get someone else to add the final touches. I could have kissed the ground he walked on! Finally, someone that can help guide me through this ever-frustrating portion of the project. I’m so grateful!

When our late breakfast concluded, we set plans to get back together on Sunday, July 6. He gave me some suggestions, which I couldn’t have agreed with more and have some direction for the coming days in regard to editing.

And, later that night, even more good news! Finally! Installation complete!! Houston, we have lift off! After many CDs and hours of installation, I have now upgraded my OS X software and installed Final Cut Pro.

Later that day I visited with my grandmother and uncle in Goldsboro. It was great to spend time with family, and helped me recognize my respect for service men. My grandfather, who passed away in 1998, was a Marine. He was an incredible man who served in World War II. July 5^th was their wedding day. I’ve heard many say, “Once a Marine, always a Marine.” With fondness, I remember his bumper sticker that simply stated: Semper Fi.

Sunday, June 29
Looked through some of the footage. Started rewinding tapes. Tried to connect the camera to my computer, but was unsuccessful. Did install the LaCie drive successfully, though. Other than that, there wasn’t much film-related business to report! I did, however, enjoy some time doing house keeping and improv! (And begging of a friend to help me with shooting this week. More on that later.)

Monday, June 30
Another day of great news (film related, any way)! More on that to come later, but things are moving ahead full steam. I have quite a busy week lining up right now, but am looking forward to it!

One Bite at a Time

Thy Lovely Apple Store
On Saturday I spent over an hour at the Crabtree Valley Mall Apple store. What a delicious place to spend time. I have been avoiding the store because every time I go in, I get convinced that I need to spend a few thousand on software or hardware that I probably could have lived without.

But this time I went in with a purpose: buy Final Cut Pro and an external hard drive. I had grown tired of waiting for someone to help me with the digitizing. Whether or not I would make the money back, I figured it was worthwhile enough to go slam a credit card down and buy it myself anyway.

Well, that’s what I thought. Then I started talking to a Mac Genius, who went over the system requirements for the program. Compared to the general public, I feel like I know a thing or two about using a Mac. Then I walk in there, and realize how little I actually do know! (My parents are right; I suppose it is all relative.)

We discussed the program, and how I can’t return it after I open it. So I had better be sure that’s what I wanted and it could work on the G5 I have waiting for me at home. He asked me a lot of highly technical questions I had no answers to (yet again). This seems to be a theme for this project. It’s happened at every turn: camera store, Apple store, requesting estimates, etc. I have gotten quite the education! Pretty soon I’ll be throwing jargon out left and right.

Anywho…I got home on Saturday and sat the heavy boxes on my kitchen counter, excited but too nervous to open them. Sunday would be the day instead, I told myself.

Rumplestiltskin
Well, Sunday came and went. Some how I managed to sleep through the day, despite having woken up at the regular 7:30 a.m. call of Louie to eat. At about 2 p.m., I laid down from a headache and slept off and on until about 11:30 p.m. The strange coma-like sleep made me realize how much I must have needed to rest. On Monday night, I slept another 12 hours. Again on Tuesday night I slept about 10 hours.

Today, for the first time in a few days, I am feeling myself again. Work hard, play hard? That’s been my motto, but some times you need to stop and sleep, I suppose! I am happy to report that I am much more rested today, and feel like myself again.

My Distaste for Time Warner Cable
Last night, though, was completely wasted. I finally got the courage to install Final Cut Pro on my computer—meaning that I was fully committed to owning the program once I had opened the box. I inserted the first installer CD, only to find out that, in fact, my computer was not up to snuff on the requirements. My operating system is behind, and my hard drive might not have enough operating power.

Without internet connection for a week, I was finally motivated to fix the problem. Three hours later, I still had no internet connect, though. I had been on hold with TWC for entirely too long, and the Road Runner online assistance was of no support in any fashion. This morning I gave them an earful about how poor their customer service was last night, and the rep continued to tell me she couldn’t do anything about it. Finally, I got a supervisor on the line with some inkling of intelligence. He did his best to mend what about six others had managed to destroy, and now I am only mildly pacified. My anger towards waiting on hold so long has yet to dissipate.

Tonight, I am hoping that I will go home to an internet connection so that I can finally install Final Cut Pro (FCP).

Digitizing and Editing
Many other conversations are in motion, though. I bought FCP so that I could do the digitizing myself. However, it would be much more agreeable to work with a trusted partner to do this for us. I have put a few requests out there, and have gotten some guidance and perspective from folks that do this for a living. One student has provided an estimate for me, and a friend has agreed to meet on Saturday to talk more about the project. Although I feel like this is moving forward at a snail’s pace, I am trying to be patient and know that it will happen.

There are a lot of fears about handing someone my mini-DV tapes to be digitized. For one, there’s no other copy of the interview. If something happens to those tapes, I’ll have to conduct that interview all over again. That is not possible with the time line we’re working on, and even if it were possible that would be embarrassing to have to conduct the same interviews over again. These people have shared so much with me, and I certainly wouldn’t want them to not trust me because of a minor thing like a tape being destroyed or lost.

Beyond that, I have a lot of concerns about handing my work off to someone. Perhaps I am being too paranoid, but I have been burned in the past and certainly don’t want our hard work to be claimed by someone else before we even get the film out to the public. But, experience teaches you the hard way. As I said, I’ve been burned in the past, and I certainly don’t want anything like that to happen with this project.

Regardless of my concerns, these conversations have me in a hopeful state that this will happen some time very soon. And, if I cannot find a trusted partner to digitize the tapes and help with the beginning stages of editing, I now know that I can handle that once I get my G5 up to par so it can run Final Cut Pro.

Screening Events
My mind keeps jumping forward to screening events. For whatever reason, I cannot stop thinking about this next stage of the project. I keep trying to stay focused on what needs to happen now, but I suppose my full time job as a planner has me conditioned to not waiting until the last minute to set events in motion. If you know me well, this is a huge shift from where I was years ago. If ever there were a procrastinator, it was me! But, now, I see that you have to plan months in advance to make an event like what I have in mind take shape.

So, over some of those sleepless nights in the past week, I have created a list of venues for some of these screening events. The list came as a reaction to conversations with various people who have found out about this project. As more and more people find out, they want to know more (specifically when they can see the final product). I’m starting to understand a lot about the way Hollywood works from this project: red-carpet events bring everyone together after the months of hard work in production and give everyone a chance to celebrate this thing they have created together.

Some of the event venues that keep coming back to mind are local, but eventually I would like to focus on statewide screenings. Places like The Rialto, ComedyWorx and the Brier Creek Country Club are at the top of my list right now. I have already spoken with managers at each of these locations to find out how much it would cost.

I’d like to have a private screening for anyone involved with the film. Sort of a first draft preview so that we can make any edits needed before it goes to the public. I learned the importance of critiques in college, and rely heavily on my family for present-day critiques. To not have that chance in filmmaking (before going public) is a bit frightening, so I want to give these valued players a chance to preview the film first. It also offers a chance to thank them and bring them together, to build camaraderie and trust, to talk about the past, and to look hopefully into the future. I feel like that is the least I can do for those who took the time to sit down with us and talk about their experiences.

Last but not least, I want to use these events as a means to raise funds for the film and the Montagnards themselves. These details have not been fleshed out, as I have to focus on the tasks at hand. But my mind does jump forward to this matter frequently.

Eat an Elephant One Bite at a Time
There is much to do, and very little time. I realized today that July starts next week. We are aiming to have the project completed by September, which means we only have two months left to work on it. There are a handful of other interviews I would like to conduct as well. Time is of the essence, to be sure! But the only way to get something huge completed is to take it one step at a time. Thankfully, there are many people supporting this project. And, that is a reminder to me of the very reason why I adore the film industry as much as I do: collaboration. Everyone has their role to play. And, as cheesy as it sounds, together we can do great things.

Between Here and There

I'm deliciously exhausted. The past week was a challenging one, but I feel that quite a bit has been accomplished. It's very exciting!

At Southeastern Camera (Again)
On Friday, I returned the loaner camera to Southeastern Camera and picked up our Canon XH A1. Always anxious to unwrap new toys like Christmas morning, I pulled the camera out right there in the store and drooled a bit before returning to work. What a beautiful way to spend my lunch hour.

Dinner at the Toot-N-Tell
In order to regroup and discuss some of the project details in person, I met Surry and a few of his friends for dinner at the oh-so-tasty Toot-N-Tell in Garner. One of my preferred buffet dinning locales! I've been lucky enough to dine there with Surry and his acquaintances on several occasions. It is one of my absolute favorite buffets in town, and one of the only places I know of that serves baked cinnamon apples and fried chicken that delicious! Perhaps it is the delicious Southern-style cuisine, or the unforgettable dinner conversations, but I have grown conditioned like Pavlov's dog to get excited each time I hear the name 'Toot-N-Tell'!

Surry has an incredible talent for bringing like-minded people together. He finds people that share interests, usually perfect strangers, and has a most graceful way of introducing them to one another, such that they feed off of each other's strengths and knowledge. It is a talent I greatly respect and hope to replicate.

One of his guests, Adam Shepard, I had met a few years earlier (at the Toot-N-Tell, no less). Since our first introduction, he has accomplished great things. His self-published book, Scratch Beginnings, has taken off and is heading in very exciting directions. I recommend reading it, so that when it hits the top reading list you can be ahead of the game! Check out the website and find a way to get your hands on a copy: http://scratchbeginnings.com/.

Surry has described Adam as having a "fire in the belly" to make the book happen, and it is easy to see why. I read the book earlier this year, and enjoyed it a lot. People can accomplish great things when focused, determined and unrelenting--and it is easy to see that is why Surry continues to encourage young people like Adam and me to find what fosters that "fire in the belly" as he says. Start now, and never stop working towards big dreams. Find a way to make it happen!

Montagnard Thoughts, Day and Night
I now find that the movie and the Montagnards are in my thoughts nonstop. It's grown from a project to an obsession. It's the first thought in my mind when I wake up each morning, and the last thoughts before I fall asleep each night. And, with each step along the way, with each new challenge and lesson learned, I am thankful for all of the steps that have lead to this point.

Our experiences shape us, there is no denying that. Each step in our lives is something that teaches us, and helps us learn how to move forward. My past three years at my full time job has taught me a lot of lessons that I am now applying, and it feels like destiny has had a hand in it.

In the Present, Planning the Future
My thoughts keep jumping forward to the post-production, even though we are not finished with the interviewing process. We'll probably interview at least 4 more people, which I am trying to schedule as soon as possible since our weeks are disappearing very quickly. There are so many additional people we could interview, but for the sake of this project we are staying very focused.

Plans for the next steps are formulating and solidifying, and that feels great. I'm writing these plans down in order to help flesh out these thoughts and share them with Surry. It also helps keep records (like this blog) so that we can look back and appreciate how far we have come in each step of the process.

At every turn, I find myself surrounded by people smarter than I am--oh, how grateful for that I am! My very talented and intelligent friends and acquaintances continue sharing advice and information that is helping this project. And if I could hire them for the work they do so well, I certainly would. That is what makes you really appreciate how Hollywood works; it is an industry based on relationships, hard work, quality and living up to your word--the very things these interviews have covered.

The Buzz
Thanks to social media tools (blogging, Facebook, etc.), I have had several interesting conversations lately. People are hearing about the project and want more details. Word is spreading quickly, and I find that the buzz around the project is helping me stay focused and on schedule. A lot of people are asking about the subject matter, and what we'll do with the film after it's finished.

I'm actually really excited that so many people are asking these questions. I once read that a screenwriter has a lonely job in the industry because he is so autonomous, sitting in a room by himself writing. Well, indie filmmakers who are just getting started (like me) can feel the same way. But, thanks to the web I feel like a part of a greater collaborative team. That's pretty fascinating!