Fog of War

Moments ago I finished watching Fog of War, a documentary about Robert McNamara, former Secretary of Defense during the Vietnam War that Matt recommended during our conversation last night.  It was fascinating and had a lot of great quotes in it about his leadership during the war.  

I knew nothing of this film until last night, and went to rent it immediately.  It has been incredibly helpful to look at how another approached a similar subject matter (ours will focus more on the Montagnard-American relationship than the Vietnam War), and how the story was crafted without any narration.  McNamara himself acts as the narrator, which is how I am approaching our film.  I prefer to have the interviewees be the voices, but we will see how that works out once we get the rough cut prepared.

More to come later.

Week in Review

So much happens in a week, it's getting difficult to keep up! Let's see how succinctly I can capture the past week's events, thoughts and revelations.

"We almost never think of the present, and when we do, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future."
- Pascal

Wednesday, July 2
Filmed two interviews with the help of Chris Moore. He was critical in getting the equipment set up at Surry's house. It took us a good two hours to clear one of the bedrooms upstairs, set up all the lights, and test the camera angles and audio. Having him there to help was a huge relief, and I'm terribly grateful for his help. It made focusing on the interviews much easier.

The interviews went well, too. We talked at great length about the Montagnards who fled to the jungles after the war ended. Because they fought with the Americans, when South Vietnam fell to communism, the Montagnard leaders were in great trouble. After 10 years of living in the jungle, they "surrendered" their arms and became political refugees in order to come to the States. They made it clear to me that they didn't want to become refugees. They simply want their own land and independence once again.

Thursday, July 3
Another vacation day devoted to filmmaking. I had three or four meetings scheduled. In the morning, I met a young man named Lap who is studying linguistic anthropology and is creating a dictionary of his language. Very cool! I must say, that seems like a huge, very exciting challenge. He offered me a lot of great insight on the Montagnards, conducting interviews and what to expect when scheduling the conversations. His help has been incredible, and I can't thank him enough. He even helped me buy a CD of Montagnard music, which I have been enjoying very much.

After the breakfast meeting, I headed over to Surry's for another interview with a man named Chris who served in the Mike Force during Vietnam. It was a very interesting interview, and I am looking forward to reviewing the tapes.

The more I interview people, the more I understand. And the more comfortable I become with conducting the interviews and asking what I would normally think are dumb questions. But I was raised to believe that there is no 'dumb question' because if you don't know the answer, you'll never find out. In this case, I am asking the same questions to hear different opinions and it is a fascinating process.

The third meeting of the day was at the Apple store, where I finally learned how to export the tapes as MP3s. What a break through! FINALLY! I'm very excited about this, and am anxious to get the tapes to the transcription agency so that we can get that process moving forward immediately. That was a great meeting in more ways than one, as it also revealed some of the critical filmmaking mistakes I've been making.

"It’s only by failing consistently that you’re really going to learn to succeed, and I mean to succeed in a superficial way, but I mean succeed as an artist…in understanding the truth of your work, and being able to implement that truth in your work."
- Stanley Tucci

But, I am staying positive about that. My background in still photography and design is coming in handy every day. But I am still learning this new medium, and so there are a lot of critical things to know that I am learning the hard way. In fact, last night there were some excellent conversations that taught me a lot...but more on that later.

Friday, July 4
Independence Day! I took the day off to relax and spend time with friends. It was quite possibly one of the most relaxing days I have had in quite some time. We played games, watched movies, shot off fireworks, ate a lot of great food and fell asleep to the comedic rants of Eddie Izzard. I marked it as a much needed day of rest. There are many cliche connections between Independence Day and this project, but I will save you from that heavy-handedness.

Saturday, July 5
In the morning, I kept the slow pace going. I feel it's important to find that balance, as one can get sick easily if the immune system is not able to keep up the fast pace. I don't like being sick, so I am doing my best to keep balanced since the amount of time I'm spending on the film has increased dramatically over the past month. This is by my own choice, of course, but I am trying to keep that Lifeguard mentality that you cannot help others if you are in danger yourself. I mean, being sick isn't being in danger, but you get the point, I hope.

I've already written a bit about what happened Saturday night in Greensboro. It was an unforgettable evening, filled with good music and dance. I am also looking forward to reviewing this footage. And I hope to get more like it so that we can craft this story in an interesting manner.

Sunday, July 6
The morning meeting over coffee with Betzi was canceled. I had hoped she could help me talk about event planning, for screening the film once it's completed. My full time job has taught me the importance of planning ahead in this department, and I do not want to wait before putting some minor effort (at least right now) into this stage of the project. After all, why create a film if you aren't willing to do the work to be sure people see it, right?

But, for various reasons, we canceled our meeting. It was for the best, honestly, as I need to stay focused on completing this stage of the project anyway: finishing interviews, digitizing tapes, transcribing the interviews, and editing the film together. Those steps are pretty monumental right now, so we can always return to the event planning at a later date.

That afternoon, Doc and I met to talk about editing the footage. He helped me get the project set up and we talked about a lot of the logistics. He's offered to be the main editor, for which I am so incredibly grateful! The day left me with a huge sense of relief, knowing that a trusted partner has just joined the 'team' to help make this thing come to life. He shared some Film 101 knowledge with me about formats, proportions, and work flow.

His expertise will help us save time and money in putting the project in motion, which refers me to what I talked about a few posts ago: looking for people that will go to war with you. It's terribly important to build that army of folks that understand what you're trying to do, and can help you make it better.

"My advice [to people who want to get into film] is to find people your own age who are incredibly talented...because they gravitate to action. Talented people ultimately find something to do. So you create circles of talent...The real alliances are with the people you came up with...if you don't loose them when you begin to get work, if you stay true to each other, those are the people who will go to war with you."
- Lynda Obst, director

The rest of the evening was spent focusing on improv, which was a welcomed break as well. Improv is so close to filmmaking in so many ways, that it helps me wrap my head around this project even more. The team I get together with each Sunday practices a form called the Harold, which is not too different than a film itself. There are elements that make the film work, and the way the scenes are edited together--the ebb and flow, the heightening of emotions, the characters--these are all tools that relate to filmmaking, and I find myself even more grateful for that training.

Two of my friends ate dinner with me after practice and let me tell them more about the project. With each layer of information I shared, their eyes grew bigger. Like me, they found it difficult to believe that things like genocide were still happening in the year 2008.

I have sources that have told me during the Vietnam War there were about 2-3 million Montagnards in Vietnam and presently only about 700,000 are there. Each person who has shared this with me starts to break their relatively detached demeanor. True compassion and hurt shows through. I have more research to do in order to confirm these numbers, but having heard it so many times I would find it hard to be false.

Monday, July 7
Back to work. It was a long day after having been out for vacation, and for other various reasons. The day weakened my spirit a bit, so that evening I didn't accomplish much other than research by means of watching I, Robot to clear my mind. It worked. I found myself thinking about characters, editing and such.

Tuesday, July 8
Last night I feel like I moved forward a lot. I met with another editor named Matt, who studied film at NCSU. He asked a lot of great questions and our conversation was a good one. We have decided that I will work with Doc as long as he is available to edit, and then Matt will help me put the pieces together. After the meeting with Matt at my house, I went to Doc's to pick up the camera and we had a great conversation, too. He shared even more of his expertise with me, about film composition and lighting.

Doc shares a lot of my values, I think. We talked about how few people recognize that opportunity often looks more like hard work than anything glorious. I think that's very true.

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you didn't take."
- Wayne Gretsky

When you see someone on Good Morning America, joyfully talking about their accomplishment, it is easy to assume that they snapped their fingers to get to that point. But, what most people fail to see is the blood, sweat and tears that went into the journey that brought the accomplishment.

I once heard an interviewer ask an actor why he had become an overnight success. The actor smiled, pausing to take in the question. I like to think he was trying to filter his response so that he didn't simply say, "No one is an overnight success!" Instead he politely replied that others might think he was an overnight success, but in reality he had been doing the same thing for years. It was only recently that he was starting to get attention for it.

Moral of the story? Focus on quality. Focus on learning. Focus on doing what you do best so that you can be a better version of yourself. And when it's your turn to get that infamous 15 minutes of fame, you'll know that when the lights fade and you become yesterday's news, you still have your integrity and honor. Because you are still you, and you haven't let something so silly as fame change you.

I don't mean to go on a soap box here, it's more like a rambling of thoughts. America makes fame seem so delicious, so worth the struggle to achieve it. I feel quite the opposite, actually. It terrifies me. Sure, it'd be great to walk down a red carpet once in my life, but I would much rather trade that for a life time of sharing stories that impact people in a positive way.

But enough of the philosophy, here; there is much work to be done and a dwindling amount of time in which to complete it. My to do list continues to grow, and my clock continues to count down to my next appointment.

Wednesday, July 9
Today. I've taken another vacation day. If you've read this far, bless ya! This is a long post, driven by the dark coffee and raw sugar I consumed an hour ago.

The day today is going to be dedicated to getting my thoughts and plans in order. Capturing the many racing thoughts that have been in my mind over the past week, so that I might share them with others in order to move this project forward in a timely fashion.

Last night during my conversation with Doc, I blurted out that I loved the research process. And I didn't remember that until last night! How did I forget that? I do love the research. Diving into something new, totally ignorant of the subject matter, open and ready to receive new information. I find that chaotic space to be so blissful.

"Chaotic space is about the randomness of life. It is about experiencing the experience as it happens, rather than having the experience with an eye to the next one...So in chaotic space all sorts of things happen randomly that impact you. It isn't the 'things' that happen, it's how you use, apply and live them that is the real impact. They come into your life, you decide or choose what you do with them."
- Nicola Phillips

Last night I had another epiphany, too. That this dream of being a filmmaker might just be possible! Why had I doubted that for so long? It is easy to let one's fear become the very thing that freezes you.

"Thinking the unthinkable; making mistakes; paradoxically these are the things that increase not decrease our personal power. Power is the ability to influence and influence is the manifestation of power. Under pressure there are times when we discover that our belief in ourselves is more fragile than we wish. By the same token some situations can surprise us and allow us to see how much influence we really have."
- Nicola Phillips

That's all for now folks. More to come later, I am sure.

The Will to Fight

Each of us has our own battles. For some, it is the constant battle to end our own addictions. For others, it is battling one’s way to climb the corporate ladder. Still, for others it is a daily battle to manage one’s time. There are an infinite number of battles one can fight, and very few of them are original. We humans have been fighting the same battles for thousands of years.

Today I found myself in a weakened state, not wanting to battle forces that disagreed with my own beliefs. I found myself counting the number of times I had gone to battle, trying to win a war that feels incredibly hopeless. I found myself counting my allies, and seeking out those whom I knew I could trust to confide in. I found myself feeling incredibly weakened and alone, save for one person who completely understood.

And tonight, as I reflect on the day I realize how silly my battle was in reality. It was so minor in comparison to the battles that have been recounted to me over the past few months. As this project moves forward, and as I fall deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole, my comprehension of the Montagnard-American compassion grows.

In the past week, I have been told countless stories of bravery, battles, challenges and victories. My past week has felt more like fiction than fact. As each story unfolds, and with each new contact I meet, I feel more and more like I have entered another world.

Saturday night I drove to Greensboro to film a Montagnard cultural event. I got there at about 5:30pm, entering the China King Restaurant weighed down with our equipment. People led me to the back of the restaurant where a man met me, and confirmed that I was, in fact, in the right place. Then, almost immediately I saw the warm smile of Surry’s friend who had been our host on June 13. Seconds later I saw another warm smile, and another, and another. For feeling like an outsider because of the language barrier, I was surrounded by friends and warm smiles.

Included here is a photo of a gift they gave me, too. It seems every time I meet with someone to talk about this project, I am given a gift! And each time, I wish that I had something to give in exchange. Then it occurred to me the other day that the big thank you will quite possibly be the film itself. By sharing these circumstances with others who—like me—didn’t know anything about Montagnard culture or very little about the negative outcomes of the end of the Vietnam War, we will be able to hopefully make some small impact.

But I am very careful not to make any promises, as so many American promises have been broken already. At the very least, we will be able to finish the interviews and start sharing them with others. And this audio and visual record will help document history—a history of a people and their land, culture and belief systems. A history of a people who—like Americans—have been fighting for their freedom for many, many years.

A day with the film

Today is going to be a full day focused on the film, as was yesterday. I've taken two vacation days from work so that I can keep things moving forward. It's a good time to do it since Independence Day is a holiday, which gives me three full extra days (in addition to the weekend). So, it's almost like having a full week to work on the film. I can't help but fantasize that this is what it would be like to have my "full time job" actually be filmmaking, as this has been my dream for so long. It is incredible to feel one's dream converge with reality.

I feel like my research on Hollywood is starting to solidify, too. For so long I have watched and read actors and filmmakers talk about how "lucky they are to work with such great talent" and how they "would work with so-and-so on another project any time", but now it's starting to get ingrained in my head.

You have to surround yourself with people that are far more talented than you are, that bring incredibly valuable skills and ideas to the table. You want to go to war with these people, and you have to trust that they will understand your vision and help you make it come to life. You need to know that they will be there to help carry you, when you are too weak to walk on your own.

It's not too different than being in the jungles of Vietnam with a Montagnard at your side to show you how to survive eating the poisonous plants and life-threatening wild life that could kill you at any moment, or a barrage of enemy fire heading straight in your direction. It is no wonder why American troops trained them and fought side-by-side with them. But, where are we now when they still suffer in Vietnam? Where are we to fight by their sides when they need us?

As I sit at this cozy Cafe Carolina in Cameron Village, waiting to meet on of the Montagnards to chat about his studies in Texas, I am reminded at how surreal this whole project feels. Yesterday was an incredible day, and it feels like each one just keeps getting better and more exciting. There is much to tell and little time to share it at the present moment, but that will come soon I am sure.

There are three interviews scheduled for today, and a meeting at the Apple store again. I've logged some of the HD footage, and recognize the insurmountable help I'm going to need editing everything into a succint 30-minute piece. But the reasons for the film are never forgotten.

Yesterday, one of my interviewees smiled at the end of almost two hours of talking, and looked me in the eye to if this film was going to help his people. The love he has for helping his people (both in Vietnam and here in the States) just pours from him. He has seen so much, survived incredible circumstances, and sat across from me yesterday asking for my help.

Every day is incredibly humbling. I told another friend a little more about the project, specifically how we want it to bring about positive change. He said, "Really? Is that one of your goals?" I like his questions because he is very grounded in reality, and helps me keep my head out of the clouds.

"Yeah, it is. We're hoping that by telling others about what's happened and is currently happening, we can make change take shape," I replied confidently. I'm hoping so. Counting on it. Knowing that this is all choreographed by something much larger and more important than I am, I feel that it could make positive change happen.

And when my interviewee looked at me smiling, asking that question yesterday, I genuinely meant that response. The Americans that fought with them made many promises, and as an American, I feel it's the least I can do. For now.

More Great Convos

As I sit in my living room, my G5 logs and captures footage in the other room. Finally, the struggle to get all technological details in order has commenced! I am terribly excited!

This week will be a busy one, full of interviews and meetings relating to the film. I have a lot of errands to run to be sure all tech stuff is in order. Thankfully, though, I am expecting to leave the equipment in the same location over the course of the next three days which will make this series of interviews infinitely easier.

And, in another turn of exciting events, two more folks have volunteered to help with the film! My friend Chris Moore will be helping me tomorrow as a director so I can focus on the interview. I am so thankful for his help! It will be great to focus on the interviewing instead of worrying about the camera and lights.

Things are falling into place, and I'm incredibly excited about the coming weeks. Namely, getting a rough cut of the film together! How exciting!

Recap of Past Few Days

Full Steam Ahead
The project is moving ahead quite well—and at full speed ahead, I might add! I have been very lucky, and incredibly grateful to have the help that continues to present itself. Oh, I do love to collaborate! I am very excited to be surrounded by people much more talented and experienced in certain areas of expertise. They are teaching me a great deal, and it is very humbling to see the momentum this project has gained. Here’s a recap of the past few days and what I’ve been focusing on specifically over those days.

Thursday, June 26
Another night spent trying to upgrade my G5 ended in frustration. Helen (one of my best friends since high school) asked me to join her on a trip to Barnes & Noble. Thankful for a break from the software aggravation I excitedly accepted (and secretly hoped to find a book that might explain what I was doing wrong).

Barnes & Noble is such a delicious indulgence. I could stay there for an entire day just browsing, reading random topic after topic. We spent some time in the business management section, and I eventually led us over to the history section. Oh, I do love the war history section! I found one shelf devoted to Vietnam and was immediately intrigued by the type of books were on display. Most of them were accounts from veterans, descriptions of their time spent dodging bullets and running through jungles. Tales of heat, humidity, dirt, heroes and camaraderie. Then there were more academic descriptions and research, the types of books that have 20-page works cited in addition to a detailed index.

I flipped through some of the latter trying to find the word I wanted: Montagnard. While it wasn’t the most scientific research, my results did prove what I suspected to be true. Very little was told about this group of people. Here was this big Vietnam sign, and only one book listed Montagnard in the index. Again, I recognize that this was not scientific research, but it did make me a bit sad to see such a profound lack of intelligence on the subject.

Not until I was introduced to Surry did I learn the word, or ever meet a Montagnard. Now that I am this deep in the project, I realize how little I once knew and even further recognize how much more I have to learn.

Why are the Montagnard people not widely discussed? Where are the heroes that made the promises to help them in Vietnam? Why are we, as a nation, not helping them more? Why in the world are we trading with Vietnam when they are reportedly treating our devoted allies so poorly?

I spent some time rereading materials Surry gave me back in March, specifically Greg’s article titled ‘Abandoned Allies’ and it brought a great weight back on my shoulders. I cannot understand how one could treat another human being with such disrespect. And it’s not just about the Montagnards, it’s bigger and more global; it’s about the Golden Rule.

Treat others as you wish to be treated.
Plain and simple.

Make a promise and keep it.
Plain and simple.

When you have something another needs, give it to them.
Plain and simple.

When you need something another has, ask for it.
Plain and simple.

Those last two thoughts are a repeat of an episode of Sex in the City, when Carrie breaks up with Ayden and has to buy back her apartment but doesn’t have the money she needs because she’s bought too many shoes. Samantha tells Carrie, “Money is fluid. If you have it, you give it. If you need it, you take it!”

We’re not just talking about Vietnam; we’re talking about being responsible world citizens. We’re talking about being world leaders. As individuals, we should demand that our government act a certain way on our behalf. That’s our RIGHT as Americans, to elect responsible officials to govern the nation.

Anyway, I digress…back to the subject at hand, right? Pardon my rant there.

Before leaving, I picked up a Time 40^th Anniversary Special devoted to the year 1968. The photos and stories inside helped me remember many important things, and helped me visit a year I never lived through. It was money well spent.

Friday, June 27
The next day I had a One on One appointment at the Apple store again. What another delicious institution. Just walking in that store makes me feel sleeker and smarter, younger and hipper (at least until I talk to one of the kids working there that makes me realize I don’t know squat about the latest technology).

My teacher, Tom, walked me through a recap of our last session. He asked if I had worked with any of the tools we’d discussed. No? Why not? Ten minutes later, he had sold me the latest OS X update.

It was a very beneficial 60 minutes, where I learned a lot about the proper way to use the program and tools that will make my life infinitely easier. Where were these tools when I was doing video editing four years ago!? Hm, I suppose they must have been included in the updates.

I tried to leave directly after our session concluded so I wouldn’t be convinced of buying anything else. Just then, the sky broke open and a great big beautiful thunder storm commenced. I walked out to the door to the mall and found a small group of women congregating by the doors, waiting for the storm to pass. Impatient at the thought of waiting for rain to fall, I took off my shoes and socks and blissfully dodged through the massive rain drops like a little girl splashing in puddles.

Out of breathe and soaking wet, I drove home and caught some pictures of the rainbows overhead. It was a peaceful, beautiful moment. I wondered how many moments like that happened in Vietnam, how many times the sun shone on the highlands and made everyone look up to the sky in appreciation—even despite being in the midst of battle.

Saturday, June 28 — A Day of Good Things
Lately I have been waking up before the alarm goes off, which is completely different than earlier in the week when I was sleeping for 10-12 hours at a time. I find myself waking up, ready to get out of bed and get to work. It’s refreshing.

Saturday was no different. I was up before 7am, and ready to go! I started installing software and got a message about the entire process taking over 100 hours. Disheartening again.

By 10am, I was at Panera reading some materials provided to me, and in walked Doc. We’d agreed to meet to talk about the project and see if he is interested and available to work on it with me. The conversation was a little disjointed by my own fault of having had coffee with too much sugar. And, I had been struggling in solitude for a few days so I was eager to pick his brain and share some “Me too!” moments.

He was very kind to my scattered mind, patient while I filtered through the details and shared thoughts on the project and what we needed to move forward. In a very exciting outcome, he has agreed to work with us to digitize the tapes and show me some tricks of the trade! Oh, so exciting!! Because of some upcoming projects, he couldn’t edit the entire project with us but is willing to volunteer to help me get it in the best shape possible before we get someone else to add the final touches. I could have kissed the ground he walked on! Finally, someone that can help guide me through this ever-frustrating portion of the project. I’m so grateful!

When our late breakfast concluded, we set plans to get back together on Sunday, July 6. He gave me some suggestions, which I couldn’t have agreed with more and have some direction for the coming days in regard to editing.

And, later that night, even more good news! Finally! Installation complete!! Houston, we have lift off! After many CDs and hours of installation, I have now upgraded my OS X software and installed Final Cut Pro.

Later that day I visited with my grandmother and uncle in Goldsboro. It was great to spend time with family, and helped me recognize my respect for service men. My grandfather, who passed away in 1998, was a Marine. He was an incredible man who served in World War II. July 5^th was their wedding day. I’ve heard many say, “Once a Marine, always a Marine.” With fondness, I remember his bumper sticker that simply stated: Semper Fi.

Sunday, June 29
Looked through some of the footage. Started rewinding tapes. Tried to connect the camera to my computer, but was unsuccessful. Did install the LaCie drive successfully, though. Other than that, there wasn’t much film-related business to report! I did, however, enjoy some time doing house keeping and improv! (And begging of a friend to help me with shooting this week. More on that later.)

Monday, June 30
Another day of great news (film related, any way)! More on that to come later, but things are moving ahead full steam. I have quite a busy week lining up right now, but am looking forward to it!

One Bite at a Time

Thy Lovely Apple Store
On Saturday I spent over an hour at the Crabtree Valley Mall Apple store. What a delicious place to spend time. I have been avoiding the store because every time I go in, I get convinced that I need to spend a few thousand on software or hardware that I probably could have lived without.

But this time I went in with a purpose: buy Final Cut Pro and an external hard drive. I had grown tired of waiting for someone to help me with the digitizing. Whether or not I would make the money back, I figured it was worthwhile enough to go slam a credit card down and buy it myself anyway.

Well, that’s what I thought. Then I started talking to a Mac Genius, who went over the system requirements for the program. Compared to the general public, I feel like I know a thing or two about using a Mac. Then I walk in there, and realize how little I actually do know! (My parents are right; I suppose it is all relative.)

We discussed the program, and how I can’t return it after I open it. So I had better be sure that’s what I wanted and it could work on the G5 I have waiting for me at home. He asked me a lot of highly technical questions I had no answers to (yet again). This seems to be a theme for this project. It’s happened at every turn: camera store, Apple store, requesting estimates, etc. I have gotten quite the education! Pretty soon I’ll be throwing jargon out left and right.

Anywho…I got home on Saturday and sat the heavy boxes on my kitchen counter, excited but too nervous to open them. Sunday would be the day instead, I told myself.

Rumplestiltskin
Well, Sunday came and went. Some how I managed to sleep through the day, despite having woken up at the regular 7:30 a.m. call of Louie to eat. At about 2 p.m., I laid down from a headache and slept off and on until about 11:30 p.m. The strange coma-like sleep made me realize how much I must have needed to rest. On Monday night, I slept another 12 hours. Again on Tuesday night I slept about 10 hours.

Today, for the first time in a few days, I am feeling myself again. Work hard, play hard? That’s been my motto, but some times you need to stop and sleep, I suppose! I am happy to report that I am much more rested today, and feel like myself again.

My Distaste for Time Warner Cable
Last night, though, was completely wasted. I finally got the courage to install Final Cut Pro on my computer—meaning that I was fully committed to owning the program once I had opened the box. I inserted the first installer CD, only to find out that, in fact, my computer was not up to snuff on the requirements. My operating system is behind, and my hard drive might not have enough operating power.

Without internet connection for a week, I was finally motivated to fix the problem. Three hours later, I still had no internet connect, though. I had been on hold with TWC for entirely too long, and the Road Runner online assistance was of no support in any fashion. This morning I gave them an earful about how poor their customer service was last night, and the rep continued to tell me she couldn’t do anything about it. Finally, I got a supervisor on the line with some inkling of intelligence. He did his best to mend what about six others had managed to destroy, and now I am only mildly pacified. My anger towards waiting on hold so long has yet to dissipate.

Tonight, I am hoping that I will go home to an internet connection so that I can finally install Final Cut Pro (FCP).

Digitizing and Editing
Many other conversations are in motion, though. I bought FCP so that I could do the digitizing myself. However, it would be much more agreeable to work with a trusted partner to do this for us. I have put a few requests out there, and have gotten some guidance and perspective from folks that do this for a living. One student has provided an estimate for me, and a friend has agreed to meet on Saturday to talk more about the project. Although I feel like this is moving forward at a snail’s pace, I am trying to be patient and know that it will happen.

There are a lot of fears about handing someone my mini-DV tapes to be digitized. For one, there’s no other copy of the interview. If something happens to those tapes, I’ll have to conduct that interview all over again. That is not possible with the time line we’re working on, and even if it were possible that would be embarrassing to have to conduct the same interviews over again. These people have shared so much with me, and I certainly wouldn’t want them to not trust me because of a minor thing like a tape being destroyed or lost.

Beyond that, I have a lot of concerns about handing my work off to someone. Perhaps I am being too paranoid, but I have been burned in the past and certainly don’t want our hard work to be claimed by someone else before we even get the film out to the public. But, experience teaches you the hard way. As I said, I’ve been burned in the past, and I certainly don’t want anything like that to happen with this project.

Regardless of my concerns, these conversations have me in a hopeful state that this will happen some time very soon. And, if I cannot find a trusted partner to digitize the tapes and help with the beginning stages of editing, I now know that I can handle that once I get my G5 up to par so it can run Final Cut Pro.

Screening Events
My mind keeps jumping forward to screening events. For whatever reason, I cannot stop thinking about this next stage of the project. I keep trying to stay focused on what needs to happen now, but I suppose my full time job as a planner has me conditioned to not waiting until the last minute to set events in motion. If you know me well, this is a huge shift from where I was years ago. If ever there were a procrastinator, it was me! But, now, I see that you have to plan months in advance to make an event like what I have in mind take shape.

So, over some of those sleepless nights in the past week, I have created a list of venues for some of these screening events. The list came as a reaction to conversations with various people who have found out about this project. As more and more people find out, they want to know more (specifically when they can see the final product). I’m starting to understand a lot about the way Hollywood works from this project: red-carpet events bring everyone together after the months of hard work in production and give everyone a chance to celebrate this thing they have created together.

Some of the event venues that keep coming back to mind are local, but eventually I would like to focus on statewide screenings. Places like The Rialto, ComedyWorx and the Brier Creek Country Club are at the top of my list right now. I have already spoken with managers at each of these locations to find out how much it would cost.

I’d like to have a private screening for anyone involved with the film. Sort of a first draft preview so that we can make any edits needed before it goes to the public. I learned the importance of critiques in college, and rely heavily on my family for present-day critiques. To not have that chance in filmmaking (before going public) is a bit frightening, so I want to give these valued players a chance to preview the film first. It also offers a chance to thank them and bring them together, to build camaraderie and trust, to talk about the past, and to look hopefully into the future. I feel like that is the least I can do for those who took the time to sit down with us and talk about their experiences.

Last but not least, I want to use these events as a means to raise funds for the film and the Montagnards themselves. These details have not been fleshed out, as I have to focus on the tasks at hand. But my mind does jump forward to this matter frequently.

Eat an Elephant One Bite at a Time
There is much to do, and very little time. I realized today that July starts next week. We are aiming to have the project completed by September, which means we only have two months left to work on it. There are a handful of other interviews I would like to conduct as well. Time is of the essence, to be sure! But the only way to get something huge completed is to take it one step at a time. Thankfully, there are many people supporting this project. And, that is a reminder to me of the very reason why I adore the film industry as much as I do: collaboration. Everyone has their role to play. And, as cheesy as it sounds, together we can do great things.

Between Here and There

I'm deliciously exhausted. The past week was a challenging one, but I feel that quite a bit has been accomplished. It's very exciting!

At Southeastern Camera (Again)
On Friday, I returned the loaner camera to Southeastern Camera and picked up our Canon XH A1. Always anxious to unwrap new toys like Christmas morning, I pulled the camera out right there in the store and drooled a bit before returning to work. What a beautiful way to spend my lunch hour.

Dinner at the Toot-N-Tell
In order to regroup and discuss some of the project details in person, I met Surry and a few of his friends for dinner at the oh-so-tasty Toot-N-Tell in Garner. One of my preferred buffet dinning locales! I've been lucky enough to dine there with Surry and his acquaintances on several occasions. It is one of my absolute favorite buffets in town, and one of the only places I know of that serves baked cinnamon apples and fried chicken that delicious! Perhaps it is the delicious Southern-style cuisine, or the unforgettable dinner conversations, but I have grown conditioned like Pavlov's dog to get excited each time I hear the name 'Toot-N-Tell'!

Surry has an incredible talent for bringing like-minded people together. He finds people that share interests, usually perfect strangers, and has a most graceful way of introducing them to one another, such that they feed off of each other's strengths and knowledge. It is a talent I greatly respect and hope to replicate.

One of his guests, Adam Shepard, I had met a few years earlier (at the Toot-N-Tell, no less). Since our first introduction, he has accomplished great things. His self-published book, Scratch Beginnings, has taken off and is heading in very exciting directions. I recommend reading it, so that when it hits the top reading list you can be ahead of the game! Check out the website and find a way to get your hands on a copy: http://scratchbeginnings.com/.

Surry has described Adam as having a "fire in the belly" to make the book happen, and it is easy to see why. I read the book earlier this year, and enjoyed it a lot. People can accomplish great things when focused, determined and unrelenting--and it is easy to see that is why Surry continues to encourage young people like Adam and me to find what fosters that "fire in the belly" as he says. Start now, and never stop working towards big dreams. Find a way to make it happen!

Montagnard Thoughts, Day and Night
I now find that the movie and the Montagnards are in my thoughts nonstop. It's grown from a project to an obsession. It's the first thought in my mind when I wake up each morning, and the last thoughts before I fall asleep each night. And, with each step along the way, with each new challenge and lesson learned, I am thankful for all of the steps that have lead to this point.

Our experiences shape us, there is no denying that. Each step in our lives is something that teaches us, and helps us learn how to move forward. My past three years at my full time job has taught me a lot of lessons that I am now applying, and it feels like destiny has had a hand in it.

In the Present, Planning the Future
My thoughts keep jumping forward to the post-production, even though we are not finished with the interviewing process. We'll probably interview at least 4 more people, which I am trying to schedule as soon as possible since our weeks are disappearing very quickly. There are so many additional people we could interview, but for the sake of this project we are staying very focused.

Plans for the next steps are formulating and solidifying, and that feels great. I'm writing these plans down in order to help flesh out these thoughts and share them with Surry. It also helps keep records (like this blog) so that we can look back and appreciate how far we have come in each step of the process.

At every turn, I find myself surrounded by people smarter than I am--oh, how grateful for that I am! My very talented and intelligent friends and acquaintances continue sharing advice and information that is helping this project. And if I could hire them for the work they do so well, I certainly would. That is what makes you really appreciate how Hollywood works; it is an industry based on relationships, hard work, quality and living up to your word--the very things these interviews have covered.

The Buzz
Thanks to social media tools (blogging, Facebook, etc.), I have had several interesting conversations lately. People are hearing about the project and want more details. Word is spreading quickly, and I find that the buzz around the project is helping me stay focused and on schedule. A lot of people are asking about the subject matter, and what we'll do with the film after it's finished.

I'm actually really excited that so many people are asking these questions. I once read that a screenwriter has a lonely job in the industry because he is so autonomous, sitting in a room by himself writing. Well, indie filmmakers who are just getting started (like me) can feel the same way. But, thanks to the web I feel like a part of a greater collaborative team. That's pretty fascinating!

Revisiting

When Surry and I first started this project in March, he gave me great resources. I absorbed as much as I could, wanting to go into the interviews as well educated as possible so I could ask the right questions. But look back on it now, I realize that very little of that sank in while I was removed from it. This past weekend was such a milestone that I have revisited the material he shared with me from the get-go. And, it has such a greater impact now!

This week I rewatched two videos Surry loaned me, which are both Kay Reibold productions (one of which is from 1991). It has been very helpful to return to these so that I can compare and contrast our project. The videos are a great summary of things that I have learned since March, and seeing them on tape as a cohesive 30-minute program is valuable.

And my how the times have changed, too! So much of filmmaking, marketing, communications and media has changed; I'm excited about the potential this film can reach and the positive changes that might happen as a result.

For so long I have been wanting to work on a film project that will lead to positive change. It almost seems to easy to have had this one find me. Each step along the way has been ... destined? No, maybe not destined, but it feels choreographed because the journey has been so easy, I suppose.

Usually, one has to do much research. I have been so lucky that the people I am interviewing offer me gifts of research: books, photos, videos, letters, and more. I have been showered with the information I need to make this the best film possible with the resources we have available to make a documentary ourselves. It's incredible!!

And, I don't take for granted, not for a second, the importance of the way this journey has unfolded thus far. I recognize that, without Surry's leadership and encouragement, this would certainly not be a possibility. Everyone that finds out about this project says I am so lucky to have a mentor like him. I concur! The only reason this project is unfolding this way is because of the great strides he has taken for more than 7 or 8 months before I came along, not to mention the great passion he has for the Montagnard people.

When I awoke this morning, the gentle golden sunshine poured through my white blinds and cast the most beautiful shapes on the hard wood floor. It was as if I woke up again for the first time. Thankful to wake up in my own house, in my own bed, knowing that I have a great job to report to as soon as possible.

These past few days have been incredibly humbling, and I am looking forward to what is to come next. There is much work to be done, and I am anxious to keep moving full speed ahead! My mind jumps forward to screening events where fund raising might be possible. I have a lot of ideas in my head and can't wait to make them come to life.

Thanks to everyone who's reading this and sharing your support. If, family and friends, you prefer not to get this blog by email, just let me know and I'll remove your address from the subscription list! Your insights and support have been priceless thus far. Thank you!

Keep the Momentum Going

Wow, I have so much to do! I'm feeling the pressure to keep the momentum going. It's been very exciting to work on this film. I have been educated on the Montagnards, learned details of technical documentary-making, and even refreshed my investigative journalism skills.

One of my coworkers has seen my excitement and commented,

"It's almost like coming in to work each day is an inconvenience because you have so much exciting stuff going on!"

She meant well, but the statement keeps ringing in my ears. I keep replaying it over and over, hoping that I'm able to keep all of these balls juggling well enough. I have noticed that I've been tired when coming to work, and my level of patience with a barrage of innocent questions from all directions has been significantly shortened. But then again, my level of stress at work is incredibly high as we transition, yet again. I have a lot to juggle all day while I'm here, and rarely get out to lunch (which makes my blood sugar drop, too). It's not a good combination.

But, we hope to have the film finished by October or earlier, so we don't have too much longer to keep this speed up. If I can keep the speed going, we can have the interviews wrapped in the next month or two. Then we can start on the post-production process.

I've already spoken with Wil Kazary of Guerrilla Productions, who gave me great advice last night. Wil and I met on a project back in 2005, where he was shooting a local reality show that's not too different from The Apprentice. I grew to appreciate his creativity, enthusiasm, and pursuit of excellent photography. He and his crew were very professional. Since that time Wil and I have brainstormed about creating feature-length films, from script writing to production and distribution. The conversation we had last night was incredibly helpful, and I hope that we might be able to work on another project in the near future. Ironically, he filmed my father once many years ago before we were ever introduced.

One of his suggestions was to digitize the footage ourselves. I had been thinking about this, and was curious about the process and cost associated with it. Having a G5 already, I think it would be pretty feasible. And back in 2003/2004, I spent a great deal of time working as a video editor for a local wedding photography shop. We used Macs and Final Cut Pro, so I learned a great deal about it then.

The only big concern I have with doing this ourselves is the amount of time I don't have to work on it. Right now I would like to stay focused on managing the entire project, and I fear that taking the time to digitize each of these tapes to get them to the transcription agency might take my focus in another direction. Always willing to weigh pros and cons, I do see the point that I will have to have these digitized for delivery when we start to edit the film down the road. Might be worth the time and money to do this now rather than later when we'll need to deliver them to the editor.

Wil also shared a great bit of detail about the editing process. I was curious about how to clearly communicate to the editor (whomever this ends up being) which shots we want. He walked me through delivering the footage to the editor all the way through to what is essentially a written storyboard. He shared how we can save time and money by writing all of this down so that the process is much more streamlined, and that was very good information to have.

My to do list has grown from one full page to two, as we distinguish best steps for moving forward. My introduction with the Montagnards on Saturday is still with me, and as a result of meeting them then I have been invited to High Point to hear them perform. I've still got to get more information on this and confirm that it is alright for me to (1) attend and (2) film.

Recently I also did some research on funding for documentaries. If I do more reading, I can confirm this, but so far I have found about $7,500 (potentially) from local groups supporting this type of work. Of course, grant writing and applying to festivals is a slow process, but I am hopeful that we could at least reimburse ourselves for all of our expenses incurred to date. If anyone reading this has ideas for funding, please let me know!

Oh, and the camera arrived this week! I have gotten two voice mails about it, but haven't been able to go pick it up yet. I won't have a lunch break to do that this week, so I will have to do that after work one day. Also, I have to remember to pick up the loaner camera from the house when I go pick up ours...my mouth is watering. This camera is bea-u-tiful! I am so anxious to review the footage from last weekend to see how it all turned out. Hearing my own voice is an incredibly painful experience (a reason I think I'm destined to be a producer, not actor), so if I can overcome that then I'll be set! Mike and Greg shared such great information; I'd like to hear it again to let it all sink in. Another (belated) reason I think that we might want to digitize the tapes ourselves. I just have to create a cost estimate so we can weigh that against having someone else finish it.

More details to come. Stay tuned!

Breaking Bread

What an incredible weekend! I cannot express what a milestone this weekend has been for this project. Absolutely incredible.

Saturday was an unforgettable day. I woke up at 7:30 a.m., and if you know me, this is no small feat. I immediately packed the car with equipment waiting by the door. Around 8 a.m., I headed to a local store to pick up Mini-DV tapes. I left with 12 Sony Mini-DV tapes (each 60 minutes in length), and also picked up another tripod for the second camera. I grabbed some breakfast and immediately headed over to Surry’s for the interviews.

After what seemed like an eternity spent unloading the car / setting up equipment, we were on our way to the first interview of the day. Mike and I spent a little over two hours talking about his time in Vietnam, and his relationship with the Montagnard people. We broke for lunch at the fantastic farmer's market restaurant and I interviewed Greg upon our return. Just under two hours later, we concluded our interviews. It was just before 5 p.m. when we wrapped.

The interviews were quite enlightening. I feel that Surry's guidance in this entire process has been priceless. He has suggested where to start and how to stay focused, and has certainly kept me charged up about the project as a whole. It is wonderful to be a part of a team like that again--where one recognizes the other's strengths and weaknesses and does what he can to make his teammates stronger. Without Surry, none of this would be happening.

After the interviews concluded around 5 p.m., Surry, Mike and Greg gathered by the door to go meet some friends as I began breaking down the ‘set’ in Surry’s living room. Over the course of the day, I had grown anxious to meet some of the Montagnards I was learning about. After asking when I could start interviewing them, Surry invited me to join them for a quick visit with a man they knew well.

This was it! A chance to meet their Montagnard friends without the cameras interfering. A chance to bond with them and learn from them. And as much as I had already learned about the culture, traditions and reported kindness--nothing had really prepared me for the hours that lay ahead.

My First Visit with the Montagnards
We drove just a few minutes from Surry's and quickly arrived at a bend in the five-lane road where a new black mail box marked the driveway to his house. Down the drive way and through the lush greenery, a little white house sat in the midst of what seemed like another world. Perhaps I am romanticizing a bit, but turning off of a five-lane road and through such lush greenery made it feel like an entrance to another world.

We parked among several cars as the gentlemen remarked that there were quite a few people there, something I had not noticed as a first time visitor. We piled out of the car and walked up to the front door.

A knock on the door received no answer. Mike and Greg walked around the side of the house, one to the left side and the other to the right side. A moment after they disappeared, the front door opened and the happiest gentleman sprung from the little white house! With a grand smile, he took notice of his surroundings and without hesitation welcomed Surry warmly as “Doctor!”

We walked around the back of the house to retrieve Mike and Greg, and fairly quickly I noticed activity that seemed like people crouched in the woods. Later, I would learn they were cutting down bamboo that naturally grows on his property—bamboo that they would use to cook sticky rice and give to us as parting gifts. It is a way to cook in the jungle without a pot, I am told, and will usually keep for about a week if cared for properly. (Mine only lasted about a day when I shared it with a friend who wasn't quite sure what I had in my purse.)

We were invited in his house, and were introduced to everyone in the kitchen. I met our host’s wife and two other women (one of which I learned was a huge honor to meet, as she is rarely introduced to Americans). Over the course of the next hours, a continuous stream of people wondered through the front door. What started as a quiet visit quickly grew into a feast and a party! It was an unforgettable evening, so humbling and simultaneously encouraging.

Our host, I learned, speaks French. Oh, to finally have someone to speak with in French! One can never perfect something that is not used regularly, and dusting off my French on a Saturday evening while drinking rice wine with people who hold one another in such high regard was truly…there are no words. It was divine, I suppose. Yes, that’s the only word I can use to summarize it.

This morning, Surry shared an email that will help me explain why this weekend was so critical. I have listened and read and researched, but there is nothing quite like walking in this house with these gentlemen and sharing the experiences as Saturday night. About me, he wrote:

I think at first she was interested in the technical aspects of make the documentary but after meeting and ‘breaking bread’ with [the] crew she's now really interested in the subject matter even more than she was before. This is a good combination and will make the break through to move to the next level from a job to a calling.

His words are true. This weekend held such significant milestones and I feel everything is starting to sink in and connect. Not to mention meeting the Montagnards. OK, less like meeting them than being welcomed into their world. I am certain I was only welcomed in such fashion because of the kind gentlemen that brought me there. The love, respect and honor they all feel for one another is tangible. It is unlike anything I have witnessed.

It is one thing to take a picture of something. Truly another to be a part of it.

Updates--One Week Changes A Lot!

Wow, so much has changed over the past week! Surry is back in town, and it has been great to reconnect with him about the progress of the project. And, I have been getting a lot of feedback about this blog. It has been a very helpful tool to take others with me on this filmmaking journey. It makes me feel like I'm not working on it alone, and that's wonderfully encouraging.

Without further ado, here are some updates:

Equipment
Last Thursday and Friday I worked with Surry on the film equipment. I spent my lunch hour on Thursday going over the details of the items I needed to create a detailed invoice. The people at Southeastern Camera were so helpful and patient with me. And to have Surry's support in getting top quality equipment is most excellent. It is very refreshing to be partnered with someone who values quality as much as I do. If you are going to do it, then do it right! I truly appreciate sharing that value with him.

Dad's camera has been incredibly helpful over the past weeks. It's given me the chance to jump in there and get things going, without waiting to have my own equipment to move forward. It has been great to grab that Pelican case and just move forward. And now that I have some of this new equipment to keep things moving forward, I can 'go well and go like hell' as Surry says!

We purchased two film lights, two lapel mics, a camera, tripod and carrying bag. I worked with the equipment over the weekend to get comfortable with it and to be sure I am using it properly. The camera won't be available until Friday since it's on back order, so I am anxious to try the mics and lights and camera all together. While I thought I wanted to go out and just buy this equipment while Surry was out of town, and I am ever so grateful to have waited. I don't think this could have worked out any better!

More Time with EG and Charlie
Last Saturday I spent more time with EG and Charlie. We spent about an hour or more on-camera, and then they showed me some of the artifacts they brought back from Vietnam: pipes, loin cloths, baskets that are worn on the back, high heel shoes from Saigon, knives and spears. Very interesting tools to see! Being the daughter of an archaeologist, I think I was in heaven.

The whole afternoon was very rewarding. It has been so interesting to hear how God used Charlie and EG in Vietnam, and how he spoke to them during their time there. I am so thankful that I have the chance to share these stories because so much negativity is associated with Vietnam. They told me about the kindness of the soldiers they met, and I would really like to share that.

Their opinions and experiences have been very helpful because they are often so different than that of those who served in Vietnam during the war. They lived there before the war, and it is almost like having the view of a native. That makes me very excited to speak to some of the Montagnards as I get more comfortable with the interview process. Speaking to the Montagnards will be an exciting step.

I find myself learning how to switch between left and right brain. I'm very left-brained when thinking about the project scope, business angle, marketing and communications. All left-brained when planning the project or setting up equipment, and then having to switch to the other side when I start the interviews. It makes me understand why film crews are so large. It helps to be able to focus on just one aspect of the project at a time.

A Thousand Words: Photographs by Vietnam Veterans
http://ncmuseumofhistory.org/wgo/press_04242008.html. I went to see it over lunch tThe N.C. Museum of History has an exhibition up right now:oday, and really enjoyed the photographs. If you get a chance to go, please do! There are lots of photos and each one is explained.

Martin Tucker, who sent out a request to any Vietnam vets for any photos (and got a huge response), put together the exhibit. I have sent an email to the museum to ask for an introduction to Tucker. He conducted interviews with each of the vets and recorded them, which is very exciting! To know that someone else, locally, is doing almost identical work is so exciting! I am so anxious to speak with him and to learn about his experiences working on the project.

While just speaking with Tucker would be very exciting, I am hoping that he might want to get involved with this project as well. His exhibit focuses on the war from the veteran point of view, and while my project is focused on the Montagnards specifically, you cannot have one without the other. To ignore his project would be absurd, and I hope that we might start a discourse. I am so hopeful that we might be able to get in touch with each other and share this exploration through history.

What I liked most about the exhibit is his explanation of the process he started in 2003:

Martin says an important, unforeseen benefit emerged as the exhibit progressed. Through the photographs, the veterans found a way to express what they could not say. Silences about the war were broken between husbands and wives, family members and others.

“Photographs weren’t just dropped off at my office,” he states. “The men wanted to talk. Three decades later, their experiences remained fresh and often just below the surface.”

After selecting the images for A Thousand Words, Martin and his team of volunteers and students invited the veterans back to tape interviews about the photographs. Their gripping words range from the anguish of fighting near the Cambodian border to enjoying a 1966 Bob Hope Christmas show or finally taking a field “shower” in a rice paddy in 100-degree weather.

Next Steps
The next two interviews will happen this weekend. Mike and Greg are coming into town on Friday, and Surry has offered a chance for us all to meet that evening after I get off of work. Then we will have a chance for interviews on Saturday. I'm looking forward to it, and want to be sure I get the most out of this coming weekend because they are coming in from out of town. If all plans go accordingly, it will be the first time I use the new camera with the lights. I used the mic for the first time last Saturday and think it worked well. I am still waiting until I have a moment to go through the footage to be sure.

There are so many next steps! I have a lot of work to do, but am very thankful to have this momentum going. Surry and I are planning to have this wrapped by this fall, so a lot of this work will have to conclude in the coming months. It's exciting, and I am wroking to try to figure out how to make it happen!

If you have any connections to video editors, please let me know. It would be truly helpful to find someone that can work on the project as a partner since I don't have any outright funding. Or, hey, if you have anyone who wants to provide funding, that's super helpful too!

I'm off to celebrate my birthday over dinner with the family. So thankful for a chance to connect with them! Hard to believe I am close to the big 3-0 now!

Yesterday's Interview

My friends were lounging by the pool when I hopped in the car to drive to Chapel Hill yesterday. While I admit I would have loved to have gone swimming, I had an appointment to interview George and was looking forward to it.

George served during Vietnam as a civilian district adviser. He traveled through Vietnam, meeting the local Montagnards and Vietnamese and told me a few of his stories as we both sipped on an unforgettable concoction of green tea, ginger and pomegranate juice. My head was still foggy from the cold, but I focused on each word he uttered, occasionally glancing at the camera to be sure I hadn't forgotten any details.

Auto-focus on? Check.
Scene picture? Looks good.
Battery power? Check.
Enough tape to record interview? Check.
Red recording light? Check.

As I unpacked, George commented that I had quite the interviewing outfit. The Pelican briefcase that carries the camera and its attachments is pretty sweet. And the loaner gear is exactly what I need for this project, I believe. But his compliment made me remember that it was not my own equipment. The twinge of regret for having not purchased my own gear was quickly erased when I realized how intimidating that set up can be for an interview. Big lights, lapel microphones and a huge camera can make one forget about the questions being asked.

I'm thankful for the loaned equipment again. Not only has it saved me $4k, it has made interviewing Charlie, EG and George a bit easier. I can carry everything with one or two hands, some stuff slung over my shoulders. And, it allows me to focus on getting to know these new people to whom I have been introduced.

Surry's contacts and work conducted already has been of tremendous importance. I am so grateful to be working on this project. More updates to come.

Coughing, But Keeping Up

Al
Surry asked me to speak with Al for guidance on oral history interviews, and he returned my call last Saturday (5/24). He has a passion for recording oral history, and has taught himself how to do so effectively and efficiently. We spoke briefly about what he has learned, and he provided advice on where to look for more information. He was very kind in speaking with me about what he has done, and even offered assistance with this project.

Charlie and EG
Last Saturday I met Charlie and EG for my first interview. They are such kind people. I enjoyed hearing their stories about living in Vietnam. They had four children while living there for 14 years! Such incredible people! So humble, brave and dignified. And patient with me in my seeking knowledge and understanding about their experiences.

They have agreed to let me return to interview them again, and I am so thankful. I have so many more questions to ask them as my understanding about their time there grows. Charlie wrote a book about his time there, and gave me a copy. I have been reading it and enjoying it very much, and it's helping me keep my time line straight. He has so many great photos, too!

As he shared his black and white prints with me, I longed to beg him to do a photo exhibition. As my business plan for this film continues to develop, I have been thinking about including a photo exhibition as part of the screening.

On Being Sick
My week has been exhausting, as I started getting sick on Sunday. By Monday I started sounding manly, and by Tuesday I was completely under the weather. On Wednesday I went to the doctor, who prescribed $40 cough syrup. That night was the first time I slept through the whole night, and it felt incredible. Today is Friday and I'm just starting to come up for air again. My voice still hasn't gotten back to normal and my head is incredibly foggy. But I have faith that tomorrow I will feel renewed and refreshed so that I can go into the interview with a clear mind.

George
Tomorrow at 1:30, I will conduct the second interview for the film. George has invited me to interview him at his home, and I'm looking forward to it. George was a civilian province chief adviser, and I hope to learn more about his position and combat experience.

War Stories
I find war stories fascinating, possibly because I have never been exposed to war conditions myself and I am the daughter of an historian. I grew up hearing war stories. My father would talk about great heroes that served in the War Between the States. My grandmother repeats that she and my grandfather had 7 siblings serve in WWII and return safely. My grandmother and grandfather got married on July 5, and he was proudly wearing his Marine uniform. Oh, and my uncle served in the National Guard. So I am constantly fascinated with war stories.

Down to Business
I've got plenty of work to do on this film. So much planning, so much to complete. In the meantime, I will enjoy another day of stories.

Counting Down to Interview #1

Everything seems to be coming together. I'm meeting my Dad at my grandmother's house tonight to pick up the camera equipment, which gives me just a little bit of time to practice with it and pick up any additional materials needed (batteries, tape, etc.). I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will work out well, and I have faith that it will. Since it's a loaner, though, I may still purchase my own equipment in the end. I want to be sure we have broadcast quality, but this one will get me started.

I've been going over my notes repeatedly this week to help everything sink in before tomorrow. Charlie and his wife are my first interviewees, and I don't think this could be any better place to start. I've spoken to them on the phone twice and they are so kind. They spent 14 years in the Central Highlands of Vietnam through the war, serving as missionaries. I can't even imagine the stories they will share with me tomorrow. I'm so humbled by such incredible people.

On the project scope side, there's still so much to do to make this thing happen. I've been focused on writing plans for the project so that I will stay focused on completing it. Juggling so much always proves to be difficult, but writing about the journey in this space online is truly helping. Blogging is a familiar activity, and by recording this process I am able to stay on task.

There is so much to do, and I've hardly started!

Once the interviews are completed, I have to get them translated. That's the #1 goal of the project: written translation of the oral history. But simultaneously, I will be working to figure out how to have the film edited together. How will the story take shape? Where will the film start? What music will be used to amplify/exemplify the emotions of the people sharing their lives with me on film?

After editing starts, I want to focus on promoting and screenings. That requires an inordinate amount of planning and conversation with local business owners--all while simultaneously managing the editing to be sure that the final film is taking the shape we want it to take.

This journey is a great learning experience, and I'm trying not to get overwhelmed. What I'd really like to do is jump in and knock it out. The balancing act between working full time, performing improv and creating this film is challenging, but I know this will all be worthwhile. I am so humbled by the chance to make it happen.

In the meantime, I'm learning so much. Some how, the fact that the Vietnam War lasted so long escaped me. I have much to learn, and am grateful for the chance to share this with others. At the end of the day, it is the people that inspire me most. What they have been through, and how I can share that with others.

Good News!

I'm very excited about the fact that I will be able to borrow a camera for the first interview this weekend. I've been debating about using a camera or not for this first meeting, and things are falling in place. By borrowing this camera, I'll be saving about $4k!

It's always a painful thing for a photographer to have no camera, and I am learning that the same is true for filmmaking. It's painful to know you're going in to interview someone and possibly have made the wrong decision in choosing to not record it.

The reason I'm weighing this decision is because I really want to connect with the people I'm meeting this weekend. I want to focus on getting to know them, hearing their story and letting their experiences wash over me. I don't want to be distracted by setting up equipment, worrying about lighting, or focusing on mics. I'm prioritizing meeting the people, not focusing on the final footage. Call me crazy, right?

This is the perfect solution to meet all of my goals for this first step this weekend:

• Record the interview without being too intrusive
  
• Not worry me too much about dropping such a huge chunk of change
• Still have broadcast quality footage for the final film
  
• Save $4k by borrowing the camera instead of investing in my own purchase
  

It's amazing when these things come together so easily like this, and is proof that some things are meant to happen! I really feel a connection to this story, and am so excited to be recording it to share with others. Pinch me, this can't be reality.

Thoughts on Equipment

Since scheduling the first two interviews, my mind keeps coming back to the equipment. Should I go ahead and invest in the camera, mics and lights in case I want them when I sit down to talk with Charlie and George in the coming weeks?

It's a tough call.

The equipment I want is pretty reasonable, and it takes a few days for it to arrive once it's ordered. I'm very, very tempted to go place my order today or tomorrow. As an event photographer, it was always comforting to be over prepared. You can never recreate a moment, and having equipment fail is truly disheartening when you're trying to capture an event (or, in this case, an interview). The more I think about it, the more I think I should make the purchase immediately. But I keep coming back to the cost, and whether or not I can pay that off in the end.

Then Jeff Barrie comes to mind.

He's a documentary filmmaker. Not too long ago, I attended a screening of his film Kilowatt Ours. He has a new version out, and a coworker let me know about the event. I'm so glad that I went to see it because Jeff did a Q&A session after the screening.

Most people asked questions about the environment, policy changes, education, or why he left out certain aspects in the film. No one had yet asked him about the filmmaking process, and that was something I certainly wanted to hear him talk about. What was the process like for him? Struggles? Celebrations?

He's such a calm, confident person. Tall. Humble. He has a presence about him that is...engaging. You feel as if he were focusing solely on you.

So, I got in line to step up to the mic and ask about the filmmaking process. The longer I stood there, the more nervous I got. I do improvisational comedy--unscripted theater--and yet, here I was nervous enough that my voice shook when I asked him to talk about the process/funding of his film.

He smiled. He took a moment to reflect and answered, "I'm just a guy with a camera." He said he just started shooting. He kept shooting and then edited everything together. If you want to make a movie, then make a movie. (Of course! The answer is always simple.) As for funding? He put a lot of the expenses on his credit card.

And that risk keeps coming back to me. He boldly took a risk in order to tell a story he wanted to share with others. I'm in a mildly similar situation at the moment, trying to wage whether or not I should go order this equipment and I keep coming back to that very public conversation.

So, I think I'll do it. The hustle is on. Time to get cracking!

Interview Time #2 Confirmed

Just got off the phone with George to confirm our interview. This will be interview #2 in the process, and I'm looking forward to it so much!

Interviews Scheduled!

I felt a rush of joy wash over me just a moment ago as I scheduled my first interview for the film. It will be on May 24, 2008 at 1:30 p.m. And I don't think I'm going to bring the camera equipment yet. Tough call to make, but I feel like this is the right move. Photographers are always pained by beautiful moments that are not caught on film, but I prefer to allow the human connection to strengthen before bringing in the big lights and camera that I want to use for this project.

The rush I got a moment ago reminds me of exciting high school days where I worked for our newspaper and literary magazine. I was given great opportunities, allowed to sell ad space (cold calling!), and learn about the importance of accurate, honest reporting. It was then that I wanted to become a journalist. Oh, how I have missed this since graduating from high school!

It's funny how long ago that seems, and how much I learned at the time. We were just having fun, but buried in all of that fun were incredibly important lessons that have stayed with me.

One of my stories was about tobacco, more specifically how it had impacted Eastern North Carolina. I met with tobacco farmers (retired and working) to ask them about their lives and how the plant had changed them. One farmer had smoked for what seemed like his entire life. I sat in his living room, a rather dark space full of tobacco products and tobacco farming tools, listening to him cough while his smiling wife proudly proclaimed that she had never smoked a day in her life. I later met with a farmer who hired migrant workers, and had a green house full of the next crop growing and preparing to be planted outside. He invited me to a pig pickin' later, which I attended and had a grand time with these new-found friends.

What I remember most about the whole process is the dignity, honesty, integrity and humility with which these people shared with me their lives. They were so,...human. I haven't kept in touch with them, but have always wondered where their lives took them after that series of interviews. They were so kind and genuine. I learned much from them.

Now, a week out from sitting down to talk with a new stranger about his life, I am reminded of the nervousness that comes with interviewing. I want to know so much going into the interview. Trying to understand a piece of history from a completely different point of view is an incredibly fascinating experience, and I want to be sure that I prepare well for that moment.

My first interviewee, Charlie, told me today that he had just looked at some photos from Vietnam for the first time and described the lush jungle and young refugees. He has lots of photos, which I am really excited about. Photographs allow a person to remember where they were at that moment, what happened before the put the view finder up to their eye. And what happened immediately after that photograph was taken.

The Vietnam War is not a subject with which I am familiar, so I want to learn as much as possible. But, like a fledgling bird, you must leave the nest some time. I will learn much from the people that allow me to interview them, and am so grateful for their patience when I ask seemingly obvious questions.

Wow, I am so blessed to be a part of this exciting project! As the daughter of a historian, I recognize the importance of capturing these stories. As an artist, I see how the story will be crafted around the beauty of the people with whom I speak. And as a filmmaker, I so desperately want to share the story with everyone else.

Heroes surround us. But I suppose it's up to us to take the time to open our eyes, salute them and thank them for their service. My grandfather was a Marine. Every time I see a Marine, I want to hug them and thank them. My sister confesses to doing the same.

I can only hope and pray that I do the subject matter the justice it deserves.

First Steps First

This is my second blog, and shall be focused solely on the creation of my documentary film about the Montagnard people (the indigenous peoples of the Central Highlands of Vietnam).

My mentor, Dr. Surry Roberts, has a vested interest in the Montagnards and I have heard him speak passionately about their kindness for many years. He has agreed to help me investigate the history of these people through interviews. Together, we will record this priceless oral history, preserve it for future generations, and hopefully share it with millions of people once the film is completed.

Already, we have identified those whom we wish to speak with and my next step is to schedule the dates for the first interviews. This past week I identified the equipment I wish to use to record these interviews, and the total cost seems reasonable. I was surprised at how little the total cost was, in comparison to what I had anticipated.

Since we began talking about the project, I have been reading the many pieces of material Surry shared with me. Each has helped greatly to shed light on the Montagnards and their history so that I can understand the big picture and speak with each person with greater understanding of their own path. I'm incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to learn more in such a fashion, and often feel like this can't really be possible.

The beginning tends to be the most exciting and terrifying for me in any project, but I am very much looking forward to moving forward immediately.