I woke up in a great mood, so what happened?
I feel like I should say something positive, but the words aren't coming. I feel like I am making progress on the narrative script, but then I reread what I've written. I'm left with disgust at my own words on the page. I'm my worst critic, and my friends constantly remind me of that. I want this to be right, excellent, accurate and ... great.
I feel like the weather matches my mood.
It's a scene where a character faces a challenge (or is sad or whatever) so it's raining outside. That rarely happens in real life, right? It feels scripted, but it's actually real life...
Summer is starting to fade now that it's the end of September. That makes me sad for a number of reasons. I feel alive during summer and am not ready for winter's harsh, dead and cold days. I'm not ready for it, and I'm having a little temper tantrum about something that's totally out of my control. But it's not just the weather.
Things have been a struggle lately, and I find myself growing very weary because of it. I've been facing one challenge after another with enthusiasm and excitement because I'm doing what I love--filmmaking. I'm so humbled and grateful to be working on it--genuinely so. But lately things have been a struggle, and I would be lying if I didn't document that here. This blog was supposed to be the "diary of a documentary," right? It's not all glory and good things. It's a real struggle sometimes. I have a solid believe that those struggles make you stronger and smarter--no matter how much I am pouting right now.
My outlook is bleak today. But I get to do what I love, and for that I am very grateful. That makes it feel a lot less like a Monday. So...enough complaining. Back to work on something very near and dear to my heart: Abandoned Allies.