I woke up in a great mood, so what happened?
It's raining and dark outside.
I feel like I should say something positive, but the words aren't coming. I feel like I am making progress on the narrative script, but then I reread what I've written. I'm left with disgust at my own words on the page. I'm my worst critic, and my friends constantly remind me of that. I want this to be right, excellent, accurate and ... great.
It's raining and dark outside.
I feel like the weather matches my mood.
It's a scene where a character faces a challenge (or is sad or whatever) so it's raining outside. That rarely happens in real life, right? It feels scripted, but it's actually real life...
Summer is starting to fade now that it's the end of September. That makes me sad for a number of reasons. I feel alive during summer and am not ready for winter's harsh, dead and cold days. I'm not ready for it, and I'm having a little temper tantrum about something that's totally out of my control. But it's not just the weather.
Things have been a struggle lately, and I find myself growing very weary because of it. I've been facing one challenge after another with enthusiasm and excitement because I'm doing what I love--filmmaking. I'm so humbled and grateful to be working on it--genuinely so. But lately things have been a struggle, and I would be lying if I didn't document that here. This blog was supposed to be the "diary of a documentary," right? It's not all glory and good things. It's a real struggle sometimes. I have a solid believe that those struggles make you stronger and smarter--no matter how much I am pouting right now.
My outlook is bleak today. But I get to do what I love, and for that I am very grateful. That makes it feel a lot less like a Monday. So...enough complaining. Back to work on something very near and dear to my heart: Abandoned Allies.
5 comments:
Wow Camden. Right there with you this morning. I'm working on stuff for Signposts Ministries, and this morning isn't going the right way. Plus, it's raining. Grump. BUT I do know what I'm working on is exciting, and it will all turn out right in the end.
AB, hope things go smoother for you very soon. Sorry you're feeling the same pain, but know that you're working on something incredibly important! Keep up the good work.
ah - rainy days and Mondays always get me...well, not really...
I love rainy Mondays if they show up after a gorgeous weekend. Lately the grass has been looking so cooked that I am particularly happy about this rain filling up the barrel outside. As it gets cool enough in the coming autumn weather, it will be safe to have a little fire in the outdoor pit in the evening - lately that has not been the case with things so dry!
So sorry for your blues, & thanks for showing this full side of your creative process. And know that you have fans that are going to be SO happy to see what emerges from this process!
Thanks, Mary! I have a friend who is super thrilled about fall, so her enthusiasm will hopefully wear off on me! I am looking forward to an easier daily run, instead of nearly passing out when it's 90+ degrees. Perhaps I need a little outdoor fire pit to help!
Thanks, again, for the encouragement. I'm hanging in there and trying to stay patient! I'm so ready to share the film!
There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly. Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big.The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. .... Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. ... Happy Monday ...
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