Last night I returned from Chicago. My sister and brother-in-law picked me up at RDU, and dropped me off at home. My little pup was there waiting for me, too!
I've spent today resting up, not realizing how completely exhausted I really was from such an incredible weekend. Fearing a relapse of any illness (having had mono over the summer/fall), I'm much more conscious of not going faster than I can physically handle. Not only was I not used to the weather, I wasn't used to carrying 100+ pounds of filmming equipment through the snow! Quite a task to do by yourself, but today I recognized that my arms are much stronger than they were last week. Reminds me of all the boot camp training I've been reading about: struggling while carrying more than one can imagine, and then one day realizing how strong you have become as a result. Not to mention how tied to that equipment you are; knowing you rely on it, protect it and keep it working well. That equipment becomes an extension of yourself in a way.
For four days, I've been in filmmaker mode. Playing the film in my head repeatedly, obsessing over getting the materials I must have to tell the story well, mapping out the post-production schedule to get everything completed, and curious about whether I'll be able to meet my self-imposed deadlines. Yes, it is tough to compartmentalize or quiet those thoughts in order to return to work. And I love my full time job, so I can only imagine how much more difficult it would be if I only had a position that paid the bills instead of one that speaks to my passion as this one does.
I'm very happy that I gave myself a day to rest before going back to work so that I can go in tomorrow with a clear mind. It's tough to switch your state of mind from filmmaker to full time employee, but now that I am back home and readjusted I think I can go in tomorrow ready to work. Hopefully soon I can write a more complete summary of the past few days, so that I'll have them documented.
As I told Surry, I've had to pinch myself lately because this feels too much like a dream. How is it possible that I have been lucky enough to work on a project like this one, meet the fine people that I have been introduced to, and sit down to tea with a man like Dr. Hickey to discuss the state of our nation and politics. I have grown fond of this position, one in which I am allowed access to great minds, respected leaders, and real heroes.