McNamara dead at age 93

Robert McNamara has died. I have been studying his role in the Vietnam War, and watched a documentary about it called The Fog of War. It's interesting to read coverage of his death, and compare it to the other recent deaths: Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, and Ed McMahon. It reinforces temporal existence.

Robert S. McNamara, 93; manager of Vietnam War
from NorthJersey.com
http://www.northjersey.com/obituaries/50153522.html?c=y&page=1

Independence Day

This week my friend and I went to our favorite pub. We like the pub because it is consistently entertaining and feels like our own version of Cheers, where everyone knows our names. The pub is full of people cycling through, and we come home with the most interesting stories. This week, I met a red headed, freckle-faced Marine named McCready.

We talked for a while about sand spiders in Afghanistan. Someone I know recently told me these spiders can be as big as the size of a steering wheel, and I want to know if it's true or not. McCready tells me someone has been exaggerating. But they do get to be really big, about the size of your hand. And they crawl into cool places, like sleeping bags. I can handle spiders, but not when they're the size of a steering wheel. We talk about Afghanistan, and about being a Marine.

He tells me about war strategies, and losing some level of hearing in his left ear because of an IED. He talks about the extreme heat in Afghanistan. Sleeping in holes in the sand. Jealousy of those stationed in Iraq because the conditions are much better now, and they have a McDonald's. He talks about how he disklikes training new recruits. He talks about recruiting during a war. And about the differences of fighting a world war in comparison to these smaller wars that are largely misunderstood or supported.

Our conversation pauses for a moment. McCready looks embarrassed that he has been talking for so long about the Marines and Afghanistan. The pause seems to bring him back to the present, sitting in a pub talking with an American woman that's never been there, much less through any military training.

"Sorry. I could talk about it all day," McCready says. "I'm sure it's boring."

He mistakes the pause as my lack of interest. In reality, I am letting it all sink in. Little does he know just how enthralled I am by the details. It's not likely that he'll understand that without knowing about our film.

I tell him about the documentary, the research, interviews, subject matter, and meeting people like Col. Roger Donlon, Mike Benge, Maj. John Plaster and the Montagnards. I tell him their stories, because I have been mentally living their experiences in Vietnam for so long. I tell him their stories because that's what I know well now, and it mimics what he has been sharing with me. I tell him about Col. Roger Donlon's experience at Nam Dong, and Maj. John Plaster's experience behind enemy lines. I tell him about Mike Benge getting captured, and his experience as a POW. I tell him about Viet Cong war strategy, and the relationship between the Montagnards and Special Forces.

Then, similarly, I realize I've been talking too long. And the pause brings me back to the present, sitting in a pub with a soldier surrounded by people drinking heavily and laughing loudly. The setting is a stark contrast to our conversation, and the pause jolts me back to the present moment.

We sit there, in a crowded and very loud pub. Two strangers from very different places, unexpectedly finding common ground. I am silent at the thought of what's happening today, and how closely it mimics what I have been studying about the Vietnam War. He again looks a little uncomfortable, and asks if I'm OK since I'm visibly lost in thought.

Our eyes reconnect, and I smile. "Yes, thank you. I'm fine." He seems more at ease.

He is protective about others constantly bumping into me, but in an old fashioned and very polite way. Like a gentleman, he helps me find a seat so that we can keep talking with less distraction. He offers to buy me a beer as we continue to talk. Our bar tender, now busy with a new incoming crowd, misses McCready's signal for drinks. I offer a quick glance at our favorite bar tender, who he responds immidiately to my eye contact. It makes me think that McCready's restrained strength could be easily missed. He does not advertise it, nor does he demand attention. His manners, gentlemanly ways, stature and stance remind me of my grandfather.

My grandfather would be celebrating his wedding anniversary tomorrow were he still alive. He was a Marine. Semper Fi to the day he died. A true gentleman who opened doors, wrote love letters to his wife, and fought during WWII. Never pushy or militant. Never boastful. But humble with a quiet, restrained strength.

In his honor, my grandmother still gives red, white and blue flowers to the church for the alter during our nation's Independence Day weekend in honor of their wedding anniversary. They got married in their hometown, at a little church, and had a reception at my grandmother's family home. The black and white pictures of them are so charming. In the photo, she carries flowers from her family's garden wearing an understated white dress, and he wears his Marine dress uniform. She still points at the picture, smiles, and says, "Isn't he handsome?" The love for her late husband has never left her eyes or her smile. It's almost tangible. One of those things that seems almost unfathomable today, when you find yourself in a conversation about the recession, bad job market and divorce rates. Her continued love for him seems like an enigma, something you can't believe until you witness it first hand.

Suddenly, the details of my life, and all that has happened before I was born seems orchestrated by a force larger than me. All of the details that feel so unrelated and nebulous start to form a recognizable pattern. Something that feels like it's leading me towards a future that is uncertain, but beautiful. Something that gives me hope that we will finish this film soon and share it with others. Something that uplifts my spirit, and makes me feel a great sense of pride for our country. A country that has not always done the right thing and is not presently favored by the world, but a country that has the chance to change the future. Suddenly, I understand that the possibilities that are truly endless.

Suddenly, too, my friend signals that it is time to go. I shake the Marine's hand. I thank McCready for his service, the time he's just shared with me, and the drink he bought me. And as we walk out of our pub, my friends laugh loudly about something unrelated. I walk quietly, realizing that, to me, this man represents what Independence Day means right now. I look over my shoulder, caught between my laughing friends and the quiet McCready still sitting at the bar.

He's the man on the ground. He's the one who lost hearing in his left ear because an IED blew up. He's the one sleeping in a hole in the sand, fighting in a war that I don't fully understand. He's the one training new soldiers, so they don't make mistakes. He's the one waiting to be shot at by the enemy because he's not allowed to shoot first. He's the one in 140 degree heat making sure I can stay comfortable in my home here in North Carolina.

Today, the sun is shining. Blue, peaceful skies and green grass surround me. My family and friends are grilling out. The pool is open and inticing. Life is good. And I find myself appreciating it more because of working on this film. I hope, with genuine sincerity, that this film may honor and uplift those that have given me the great priveledge of this freedom and independence. It is not something I take for granted. That is certain.

Enemy of the State

Gene Hackman's character:
"You know, in guerilla warfare, you try to use your weaknesses as strengths."

Will Smith's character:
"Such as?"

Gene Hackman's character:
"Well, if they’re big and you’re small, then you’re mobile and they’re slow. You’re hidden and they’re exposed. You only fight battles you know you can win. That’s the way the Viet Cong did it. You capture their weapons, and then you use them against them the next time. That way they’re supplying you. You grow stronger as they grow weaker."

A few weeks ago, the movie Enemy of the State was playing. I like conspiracy movies, and these lines of dialogue overlap a critical transition in the movie. It's where the underdogs amp up to fight for themselves against the bad guys. I highly recommend it, and thought the dialogue was incredibly relevant to our film. Enjoy.

Frequently Asked Quesitons

Many people have been asking me questions lately about our documentary film. I have noticed a trend in some of the questions, as they get repeated, and have lately thought this is a great foundation for web content. There are the expected items for any doc film website, but I wanted to generate an FAQ section based on real life interactions, and feedback from my networks online.

Here are the questions most commonly asked:

• What's the film about?
• How did you get interested in this topic?
• How did you start the project?
• How are you making the film?
• Who is working on the project with you?
• What equipment are you using?
• Where did you get funding?
• Did you go to Vietnam?
• Where are you making the film?

As we continue with post-production, interest in the film has been growing significantly. We're committed to finishing is as soon as we can, but at a pace we can handle since it's a bootstrapped effort and many of the team members work full time elsewhere.

So, are there unanswered questions you have had, too?

I'm happy to answer any questions you have about the film via this blog. It'll also help us develop the FAQ section of the website when we get to that stage in the project. As interest grows, I anticipate that the website will need to go live soon (at least a first version before we get the logo, brand, ID, etc. developed and finalized).

Creatures of Habit

Humans are creatures of habit. So, I'm going to do my best to keep updating this blog at least once a week. Conversations today lead me to the understanding that I'm so focused on finishing the film, that I am neglecting other areas of the film's development. This blog is one of them. I took a double, then triple, look at the date of my last entry. It's been more than a month since I last posted something!

No doubt, a lot has happened since then:

• Matthew (or Doc, as he is nicknamed by our mutual friends) finished digitizing all of the footage, which has been an absolutely tremendous support. He's also been very helpful in keeping me sane, telling me the emotions that I'll go through as we embark on the post-production journey.
  
• We finished transcribing all of the interviews, and I have a notebook full of dog-eared, poorly numbered pages.
  
• Matt has also started coming over to edit the footage, muddling through my maddening notes. He's a patient being, and is earning his place in heaven for his work. He's been helping me figure out what we'll need to do once the first draft is finished: tweak transitions, edit the audio so it is all similar, pinpoint where we want animated graphics and images, etc.
  
• And, my biggest, most exciting film news recently: We now have at least one minute of edited footage on the timeline!

It's been a painstaking process, but one that is clearly worthwhile. Every step of the process has proven that this project is SO much bigger than just me, and those that immediately surround me. We, as humans, need to know that we're a part of something bigger than ourselves, I think. This film is definitely proof of that. It's not just a film about the Montagnards and Special Forces, it's a film about humanity, how we treat one another, the art of war, individual sacrifice, and consequences of our actions. Above all else, it's about keeping promises.

Every time I meet a soldier, the film naturally comes up in conversation. They are fascinated, I believe, by the discovery in a casual conversation and the fact that (1) a woman is making a film about the Montagnards and Special Forces, (2) I know the term Montagnard, and (3) how I can see the connection between the Vietnam War and the war overseas today. It has happened several times over the past few months, and each time the response has been something to the effect of, "Please do us right. Tell our story, and let everyone know."

It genuinely brings tears to my eyes as I write it. I remember how they stare me dead in the eye, asking with such authority and simultaneously with such helplessness. I frequently feel so small and insignificant, but at those moments I realize that I've been charged with something so huge.

Next Steps
There's so much work left to be done, but we are moving along at a pace that we can bear. I work full time (as do many of my other volunteers), so nights and weekends are film time. But sometimes those things get interrupted by things that life brings with it: supporting family and friends, chores like paying bills or cleaning house, and every now and then mini-vacations to keep ourselves balanced.

Once we get the first draft finished, we'll review what we have and possibly reorganize some of the clips. At that point, we'll decide if we need a voiceover or not. Then we'll identify where we need to use still images, music and animated graphics. Once we get that official director's cut ready--the draft that is as polished as we think it can get--we'll show it to select audiences (or test groups) to see what the reactions are to the film. I think I'd like to have a few different test audiences. After that, we'll likely have some tweaks to make. Somewhere in there, we'll bring in the marketing / communications team. (Yay! Something that's familiar territory.) Then we will finally start to release it to broader, bigger audiences. And from that point forward, I imagine, it just might be coasting from there.

We'll need things like a learning center to share info about the Montagnards and Special Forces, bios for the cast and crew, a photo gallery, etc. And I imagine that we will need a press kit with some of that information available for download.

I'm incredibly anxious to keep things moving forward. But, I promise to keep updating this blog more often. It has clearly been neglected, which contradicts the amount of work that is still happening on the film.

Yes, I'm quite excited. Surry gave me another pep talk today. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and I'm so eternally grateful to him for the unending support and guidance he continues to provide. Perhaps I'll convince him to one day work on an autobiography! He's a fascinating person, full of talent, passion, wisdom, surprises and amazing stories.

Good Days, Bad Days and Family

One of my cast members told me that his time in Vietnam was some of the happiest and saddest times in his life.  There were good days and bad days.  Naturally, it was a war.  The highs were high and the lows were very low.  He laughed a lot.  Cried occassionally.  Wouldn't really trade that time for anything.

Today, I am having a down day.  Writing, for me, becomes very difficult on days where I am not the happiest.  But today I have decided to write anyway, because it's important to remember the challenging days just as much as we remember the joyful ones.  Filmmakers know that the good becomes even better when contrasted against something bad.  It's why we have comic book heroes and arch nemises, after all.  Superman's great, but compared side-by-side with Lex Luthor he looks even better.  So, we have our good days and we have our bad days.  My point is that it's important to recognize and appreciate both. 

My reason for writing is not to complain or rant, but merely to remember that I struggled today.  The film is a blessing in so many ways.  A challege that has helped me grow into a much more confident young woman.  It's helped me understand what I want to do with the rest of my life.  But, on days like today, I have to appreciate the pains that come with those joys.

Today was a struggle, for certain.  And when one thing goes wrong, it's easy to see how everything can come crashing down around you in a second.  I write in these ambiguous ways because the details of what specifically went wrong are nebulous to anyone that doesn't know me very well.  My sister came over, listened to me, and sat with me.  It's the people to whom you are incredibly close that make things like a documentary film happen.  They may not be doing a specific task like designing, editing or writing, but they support you and hold you up in ways you never knew you needed.

Without my sister, without my family and friends, I would never be able to dream of doing something like this--and it is to them (as well as many others) that I am incredibly indebted and grateful.  We are given a family by birth, but we have the chance to make our own families at various points throughout our lives.  Seth Godin happens to call them tribes.  We get to make our own circle of people that are interesting and valuable to us.  Entrepreneurs call them a brain trust.  Businesses call them a board of directors.  There are many names for family.

One of the Montagnards to whom I have been introduced as a result of this project--a great leader in his community who works harder than many men I've met--calls his American friend a brother.  It's such a simple term, but holds so much weight.  Brother.  It's a term they use with love and respect, honor and gratitude.  Brother.  It is a term that unites two grown men who made great sacrifices together, long ago, so that I could enjoy freedom in my country (and do things like make a documentary film).

Family.  We are given a family, but we also make our own families as we journey through life.  It's not without our families that we accomplish much of significance, either.  Sure, it's possible to do great things without the support of your family (whether a given or created family), but it's so much more enjoyable to share the experience.  Even when you're pitifully sobbing like I was today.

There are many people that make a project like this happen.  Some you see in the opening credits.  Some you don't.  Yep, in a film, there are so many people that make it come together.  And that's one of the reasons I really enjoy this form of art: the collaborative efforts.  Maybe I'm old fashioned, but it feels like one of those barn raising events where the whole community comes together to build something.  And that's pretty excellent in my book.

A Vision of the Future

Last weekend I had a vision of the future of this film. It was really exciting! My team and I had finished it. Normally, that alone would be enough to be exciting, but this particular vision showed me possible next steps. The premonition was specifically about special screening events.

My whole team and I--cast, crew, family, friends--we were getting all dolled up for a screening of the film at The Rialto in Raleigh, N.C., or at The Airborne & Special Operations Museum in Fayetteville, N.C. It was a chance for the whole team to come together in person and be recognized. The entire event was classy, beautiful and entertaining. It caused a buzz about the Montagnards, people were asking questions, learning and seeking more information. The Montagnards that live in Raleigh performed traditional dances and songs, there was a Q&A session with a panel of experts like John Plaster, Dr. Hickey, Mike Benge and Greg Stock. Even the media came, asking questions about the Montagnards and how the film relates to what's happening today in Iraq and Afghanistan.

What gave me the greatest sense of hope was the possibility of raising funds for real change. Wouldn't it be exciting to not only honor our allies, but to use the sales of tickets to raise money to help enrich the lives the Montagnards lead here in the United States, the country that abandoned them. The possibilities were endless in this vision of the future.

The pressure is on. I so desperately want to finish this film so that it can be shared. The people I have met, the information they have shared, the stories they've told...I hope I do it justice.

Chaotic Space

Deadlines, deadlines. At my full time job, and in life in general, deadlines are not to be missed. It's a sign of keeping your word that you'll meet a deadline, a sign that you're worthy of trust, that you can be held accountable. That, when you give your word, it actually means something. You've made a promise, and it's up to you to keep it.

I keep giving myself hard deadlines so that I can finish a certain stage of the project. I need a date, a deadline, to work towards. My background is in graphic design, which is typically done for a client, which means there's usually a hard deadline. So, you learn to work backwards. If the design is due three months from now, you can set up deadlines for the process: first draft, review, revisions, etc. For the film, though, there is no client. So, these self-imposed deadlines help me keep things moving forward. It's all in my hands right now, and the work of my volunteers can't start until I finish this battle against myself to stop tweaking the screenplay.

Many people have asked why write a screenplay if it's a documentary. I've gotten a lot of questions about that. Well, it's the road map for me and my team. We have 30+ hours of interview footage, a mountain of original images, archived 8mm film, original audio, and eventually original animated graphics and original scores. We have a volunteer team of editors, writers, designers, musicians, managers, marketers, programmers and more that ask to help on a weekly basis. Simply put, the screenplay is a way to make order of the seemingly chaotic space we're in right now.

It's easier to tweak lines of text now, rather than wait until we're down the road. It's easier to battle myself, alone in my house, than drive my editors crazy by asking them to move footage around on the timeline. We are, after all, volunteering so I want to make it fun for everyone. If it starts to feel like work, then they might walk away. That's a very real, very scary thought for me. This group of volunteers is made up of my friends, colleagues, acquaintances. If they feel the need to walk away because it's no longer in their best interest or they have a major conflict in time committments, then that's one thing. But if they feel the need to walk away from the project because it's no longer fun, then that is altogether very different. I can't pay them, so it absolutely must be fun.

So, I want to protect them and give them an enivornment in which they can flourish and do their best work. Work they are proud of, and want to share with their network. Work that builds their portfolio so they can get paid jobs. Great, intelligent, talented people are hard to find. I want to make more films, and I only want the best people on my team. And, I want to take the lessons that I've picked up from my full time job and work in the most effiicent means possible. It's all been about processes for me at work in the past two years, and I've not forgotten those lessons while working on this film.

There comes a time and a place where you have to recognize that you've got it as good as you can get it right now, though. An artist is rarely ever finished with a piece of work. The time to stop tweaking is coming for me soon. I've been working on the screenplay since January, when I returned from my interview with John Plaster in Wisconsin. There is much more work to be done, and I'm holding up the process by tweaking too much.

So, my final deadline is the end of May. I boldy state that I will finish it this week, before my Memorial Day vacation. We shall see, we shall see. Wish me luck, folks. I'm in a battle, and it shall end soon! Man versus self. Who wins?

On the other hand, I must pat myself on the back for just a moment. I've been reviewing the footage and transcripts, and it's quite refreshing to see just how far I've come in the interviewing process.

Previously I mentioned that there are a lot of synergies between my full time job and this film. What I've learned at work, I have applied in my filmmaking. And now, what I have learned on my film, I can apply at work. Interviewing skills help save money, basically. The more talented the interviewer, the faster you get to clips you can use. The faster you get to clips you can use, the less time and money is spent filming and then hunting for those clips.

Think of it in the America's Next Top Model terms. Tyra's always congratulating her models when they get a lot of great photos, especially when they have the final pick in the first few frames. Back in the film days, you wanted a model who could strike a winning pose quickly because it means less money spent on film. Oh, man, I spent so much money on film! Today, even without film, the same rules apply because time is money. The faster you get to the winning end product, the more money you save. The more money a model saves a photographer or creative director, the more jobs she'll book and the more successful she can be. Similarly, the more skilled you are as an interviewer, the more money and time you'll save, allowing you to keep building your portfolio.

If only I had these skills at the beginning of the project. We must live and learn, though. We must learn to yeild to that which we do not know, so that we can grow in the chaotic space. We should surrender to where we are in life, and go into something new open minded and ready to learn. This project, as I previously mentioned, has helped me grow in so many ways. Ways that I will be thankful for the rest of my life. There's no doubt that my world is changing. It's one unbelievable dream come true.

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."
--T.S. Elliot

"The ability to let something go, to yield and thence to empty, is essential to growing. New skin does not flourish until the old has been sloughed off."
--Nicola Phillips

Heretics, Henry Gifford and Filmmaking

Recently I returned from the ACI Conference in Kansas City, M.O., where I learned a lot about improving home performance. While I was there, I recognized how many synergies there are between my full time job in energy efficiency and my first documentary film.  One of these synergies, the role of the heretic in creating a movement, I would like to write about here.

One of the sessions I attended was titled "Why LEED Buildings Use More Energy Than Comparable Buildings, & How Serious Practicitioners Can Avoid the Same" by Henry Gifford.  It stirred passionate conversations, and truly helped me let a few life lessons sink in.  For the sake of this blog post, I hope you will set aside any preconceived notions about the performance of LEED buildings and focus on the bigger picture. I work with top building science experts, but am not one and therefore will not write about my own opinions or conclusions of the session on LEED here.  Instead, I hope to draw some conclusions relative to my documentary film, specifically about the role of the heretic.  

Ready?

Let's start with Seth Godin's book Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us.  It is a book about leadership, communities, movements and social media.  I highly recommend reading it.  In the book, Godin talks about the status quo, what it means today, and how one individual can upset it.  Here is an exerpt so that we all understand Godin's use of the terms status quo and heretic.

All You Need to Know is Two Things

The first thing you need to know is that individuals have far more power than ever before in history. One person can change an industry. One person can declare a war. One person can reinvent science or politics or technology.

The second thing you need to know is that the only thing holding you back from becoming the kind of person who changes things is this: lack of faith. Faith that you can do it. Faith that it's worth doing. Faith that failure won't destroy you.

Our culture works hard to prevent change. We have long had systems and organizations and standards designed to dissuade people from challenging the status quo. We enforce our systems and call whoever is crazy enough to challenge them a heretic.  And society enforces the standards by burning its heretics at the stake, either literally or figuratively.

But the world has changed a lot. There are heretics everywhere you look. It's so asymmetrical that burning heretics isn't particularly effective any longer. As a result, more and more people--good people, people on a mission, people with ideas that matter--are stepping forward and making a difference.

Just about every system, whether it's political, financial, or even religious, has become asymmetrical.  The process has turned upside down: scale isn't the same as power; in fact, scale can hurt. We've seen this in the war in Iraq as much as we've seen it in the war in the soda aisle or in the growth of new religions. In each case, an individual or a small group has the power to turn an existing system on its head.

Now, most of the time, we call heretics leaders.

The day after Gifford's presentation on LEED buildings, I recognized that he very well could be labeled a heretic in his industry.  I left Gifford's presentation with the following: LEED certification is gaining recognition and market share, but is it setting forth best practices in the building industry and creating real, measurable energy savings?  And what impact is it's growth having on the general public's opinion if it is not creating real, measurable results?  Gifford is challenging a program that's gaining strength, and because of that he is upsetting the status quo.  Because he is upsetting the status quo, it stirred a lot of strong reactions in the session (and on a much grander scale, outside of that session).

During the session, I used Twitter to share some of Gifford's thoughts on LEED with my friends. Let's be clear: I don't want to steer us away from the main exploration about heretics, status quo and creating change.  I do wish to share the reactions from Rob Watson, a Twitter user and self-proclaimed father of LEED.  You can see his Twitter profile (@klrwat) here: http://twitter.com/kilrwat.

Fairly immediately after I posted my tweet, Watson responded.  This means that he is aware of the impact of social media.  It means he is aware that each individual has a very powerful voice, or as Godin states, "One person can change an industry." My tweet from the session was merely a way to share what I was hearing, and I was impressed that Watson responded so quickly.

It also added evidence to my growing theory that Gifford is a heretic in the industry.  Watson (and a few others in the session) responded so quickly and passionately, that I couldn't help but recall this excerpt from Godin's Tribes:

The Easiest Thing

The easiest thing is to react.

The second easiest thing is to respond.

But the hardest thing is to initiate.

Reacting, as Zig Ziglar has said, is what your body does when you take the wrong kind of medicine. Reacting is what politicians do all the time. Reacting is intuitive and instinctive and usually dangerous. Managers react.

Responding is a much better alternative. You respond to external stimuli with thoughtful action. Organizations respond to competitive threats.  In dividuals respond to colleagues or opportunities. Response is always better than reaction.

But both pale in comparison to initiative. Initiating is really and truly difficult, and that's what leaders do. They see something others are ignoring and they jump on it. They cause the events that others have to react to.  They make change.

The reactions in the session and on Twitter are very interesting.  Why was this audience so quick to challenge what Gifford was stating?  Why were they so quick to try to correct him, and say that he was wrong?  Was it because they were acting in favor of the status quo?  Were they reacting in this manner because there is truth in what Gifford has to say?  Or were they defending what they believed was true?

The morning after the session and my Twitter exchange with Watson, I kept running over the details of what had happened.  Strong reactions within the session, strong reactions on Twitter from my paraphrasing of Gifford's theories.  It then occured to me that Gifford is a living example of Godin's description of a heretic.  

If one uses the example of Gifford challenging the LEED program, and compares it to those in my documentary film--they are each the definition of Godin's heretics.  I have been interviewing and learning from the heretics of our time, people desperate to upset the status quo, make positive change happen in our U.S. policies, and help improve the lives of the Montagnards.  It is no small feat to take on that challenge, and the members of my cast have been doing it for more than 30 years!  

One of my interviewees states that we live in an attention-deficit world.  I think this is quite true.  We move faster than ever before, quickly sharing thoughts and ideas.  The only thing that still seems to move slowly is change itself.  

Watson tweeted, "The center of gravity is moving towards LEED..."  If Gifford's theories are accurate, then change must be explored to improve the LEED program.  No matter how popular LEED is right now, no matter how much momentum it is gaining, those that run the program must be open to criticsm and change.  After all, the "best time to change your business model is while you still have momentum," as Godin states.

I'm passionate about making this film is because I'm a humanist, optimist, and truth seeker.  I am exploring the history of the Montagnards without bias and judgement, and hope to share the results of my research with an audience to help them draw their own conclusions.  Is our country doing what it promised during the Vietnam War?  Is our country treating its allies as it should?  Where are there areas for improvement, and who will lead those changes?  How do we, as a nation, look to our past to learn valuable lessons in order to leave a better, healthier world for future generations because that is our obligation.

The Obligation

Not too far from us, a few blocks away, there are kids without enough to eat and without parents who care.  A little farther away, hours by plane, are people unable to reach their goals because they live in a community that just doesn't have the infrastructure to support them.  A bit father away are people being brutally persecuted by their governments.  And the world is filled with people who can't go to high school, never mind college, and who certainlys can't spend their time focused on whether or not they get a good parking space at work.

And so, the obligation: don't settle.

To have all these advantages, all this momentum, all these opportunities and then settle for mediocre and then defend the status quo and then worry about corporate politics--what a waste.

Flynn Berry wrote that you should never use the word "opportunity." It's not an opportunity, it's an obligation.

I don't think we have any choice.  I think we have an obligation to change the rules, to raise the bar, to play a different game, and to play it better than anyone has any right to believe is possible.

You  see, it's not about Gifford.  It's about us.  It's about becoming a heretic and challenging the status quo.  It's about seeking, and demanding the truth from those that lead us each day.  It's about rising up, together, as one tribe, to say, "We expect more.  We demand better.  We will see that it happens."

We tend to lead busy lives these days.  Our phones are ringing, emails fill our inbox, bills keep coming in the mail even though some of us are out of work.  We have our daily battles to fight.  But can make change happen, and we have an obligation to make things better--no matter whether you're talking about green building practices, the plight of the Montagnards, or our policies with Vietnam.

More Information

I'm always open to feedback, healthy debates and constructive criticsm.  Feel free to comment here, or email me any time.  If you crave more information, here are several paces you can find it:

• The U.S. Green Building Council's LEED program: http://www.usgbc.org/DisplayPage.aspx?CategoryID=19
• Henry Gifford's website: 
  http://www.energysavingscience.com/
• Henry Gifford's article: 
  http://869789182725854870-a-energysavingscience-com-s-sites.googlegroups.com/a/energysavingscience.com/www/articles/henrysarticles/BuildingRatingSystems.pdf?attredirects=0&auth=ANoY7coPvEPNKKNJhsh9OVW9VFrYTeS7vXaV0GpafF6Hu4e6RBYS3aBFc4disgdnUqV1XNsAYIoNKTsoPhnL3MUP94LBe4ZYQRqnTbzWQ9G5Wt-86D2ong1wK9JfTBw79T7wTqT0ChgwtHyWJAP6Usk2sN0c1sAxUI7a1HToxS42nyEStMCu0P5p3DUoIAHwdZ3jGWgKEoIQ2G4yzXKBS6PNWnmTFqe70YoDcz9_RJGfGjCoUn4ZvJT0vTePKpvf6vGQ7PJ-tYkZ
• Seth Godin's Blog: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/
• Michael Prager's blog about a public debate with Gifford and LEED: 
  http://www.michaelprager.com/LEED_doubts_gifford_owens_NESEA
• Robert Watson on Wikipedia: 
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_K._Watson
  
• Robert Watson on Twitter: 
  https://twitter.com/kilrwat
  
• A screen capture of the tweets Rob Watson posted:

Blogging From Kansas City, MO

On Sunday I flew in to Kansas City, M.O., with a few others in the energy industry for a conference on home performance.  It's been quite an educational week!  

Some of the beauty of it all, to me, is how connected it is to my film project.  What I have learned while working on my film, I bring to my full time job.  What I have learned at my full time job, I have brought to my first documentary film.  It's quite a beautiful thing, really.  I'm learning, growing and leading--and loving it all.  

One of the really great things is how my work at my full time job is directly tied to some of the work Surry is doing with the Montagnards.  I don't know enough to publish any of the details, but I am certain they are interconnected, and that's truly divine and delightful.  I hope it comes to fruition.

Last weekend I made some excellent progress on the screenplay, and hope to keep moving full steam ahead when I return to Raleigh, N.C.  My editors are set to meet this month, and so the pressure is on!  I have to get my house cleaned up to have them over, but first the screenplay must be finished so we're all on board heading in the same direciton.  It's going to be quite a wonderful first film, for certain!

Themes

Our film has so many universal themes, something that really excites me.  The more I work on this film, the more I realize how many themes there are:

• Love
• Faith
• Family
• Promise
• Sacrifice
• War
• Loyalty
• Honor
• Pride
• Integrity
• Brotherhood
• Fear
• Conspiracy
• Freedom

It's easy to say that one has wept.  It's a much different thing to find yourself weeping while reading and writing a screenplay.  It is truly a labor of love, and one I hope to finish very soon so that I can move straight into editing.  The pressure I'm putting on myself to get this finished as soon as possible is both helpful and incredibly painful.  It's a part of me every day.

My team is waiting on me.  The army of volunteers (film editors, writers, marketers, designers, musicians, talent managers, animators...the list goes on) is waiting for my signal.  They are talented and reliable, and I am so excited to be given the chance to work with them.  I hope that this work will bring them more work, and a financial reward for their dedication to their craft.  I cannot wait to celebrate them, and the rest of the cast--people that have so willlingly dedicated their time without asking anything in return.

It's an undeniable fact that working on this particular film is giving me the foundation for making many other films great.  The lessons I am learning from our country's heroes (American's and our allies) are helping shape me into a better leader.  This experience is fundamentaly altering me in ways I had not anticipated.  It feels as if every step of my life has led to this point, and now is the time to make it all work.  It's time to do what I promised I would do.  It's time to finish what was started.

This film is changing my life in a positive way.  I hope that I can repay the favor.

Filmmaking: The Work of Art

This is the first screenplay I've ever written in completion.  It's quite an undertaking, and I will confess that I underestimated how much a writer must surely labor over every line and every transition in the story.

So, from time to time, I will look up from my screenplay and day dream to give my mind a moment to explore ideas beyond the story of the Montagnards, Special Forces and Vietnam War.  This can be viewed by some as time that's not productive--but to the artist, it is absolutely necessary because it allows the mind to wander, explore and create the unexpected.

During the past week or two, these moments of exploration continuously bring me to a slowly forming list.  Because of my obsessive reading over the years, I have been told that a person in Hollywood must have a list of favorite movies, because people in the business like to talk about the business of making movies.  While I'm in Raleigh, N.C., making my first documentary with my team of volunteers (a much smaller scale production that a Hollywood blockbuster film), I can completely understand the practice.  It's the same concept of social media: people talk about what interests them and are attracted to people that share what my mom calls common points of reference.  Simply put: it's something to talk about and that gives you a way to feel connected to other people.

Choosing favorites, for me, is really difficult.  I'm an artist.  I don't want to choose one favorite color because I want to use them all at some point.  Regardless, though, I find myself making my own list of favorite movies--for completely different reasons than those books about surviving / thriving in Hollywood told me were important.

Now I find myself reliving the movies I've loved for years, and adding them to my list, because I appreciate them for so much more than just a good movie.  They are true works of art.  Stories that have made me cry or weep uncontrollably, laugh out loud, change my behavior, share a personal joke with the friend that saw it with me, learn about something happening in our world today...the list goes on.

While I've been laboring over the screenplay, I look up from time to time and let my mind wander.  It continues to return to this list of favorite movies, and why I love them so much.  I now understand, from my own smaller scale experience, how much work went into creating them.  Labors of love that created the final work of art.  I only hope our final, finished product will be one that moves our audience as much as my favorites have moved me.

The story of the Montagnards is a beautiful, yet tragic one.  When I tell people what it's about, I usually say it's a story of brotherhood, family, love, sacrifice, war, death, promises, policy, glory and freedom.  It's about a group of people and how they've adapted to the changes around them.  I only hope, with the deepest genuine promise I can offer, that we do the story justice.  And I think that's an honest fear that all artists face, no matter their medium.

It's Been a While

You've not heard from me in a while, and it's because I've had my nose in transcripts for quite some time. Last weekend I wrote a really long blog post, but never published it. This week, as I worked on the film, I paused to think, "I must edit that post and let our team know where we are in the process, or at least let them know I'm still working hard at it." Then I look back at the work in front of me and dive back into the deep end. I find that the quiet has been necessary for concentration, and it has been rewarding.

I have to confess, the process of reviewing the transcripts and piecing together the screenplay is both a labor of love and a thrill. The pieces have been floating around in my head for so long that I am elated to put them in order. I look forward to the moment of relief--when the film is finished and being burned on DVD--where I can stand back and think, "Wow, that was fun. Now I can dust off my hands and start navigating the next uncharted territory." The entire process has been an adventure, and each step teaches me new lessons.

My family, friends, and anyone else interested in following this process: it is thrilling. I pinch myself in disbelief regularly while working on it. I honestly cannot wait to show you the finished product about the Montagnards, and I protest my dedication to making it the best we possibly can make. Keep the thoughts and positive wishes going, it is most encouraging!

Milestones

In life, we have milestones in our lives like birthday parties, newborn announcements and weddings. There's a hooplah around some of our most memorable, life-changing events. We come together to celebrate as a tribe, surrounded by those whom we love and love us in return. It is delightful because it is shared.

So, it is my opinion that we must celebrate milestones on this project as well! We are approaching our one-year anniversary of starting the project. And, as I look back on the past year, I realize how much I have learned and how many wonderful people I have had the honor to meet--it has been an extraordinary adventure!

We have completed production, moved into post-production, and are quickly approaching some new milestones. Each of the tapes has been digitized and transcription of the interviews will soon begin. This, I feel, is to be celebrated! It has been a long journey, and a milestone like this one feels incredibly significant.

We continue to work hard to collect archival images and audio, dive into the 30+ hours of footage, and craft our story. We certainly have our work cut out for us, but the team that has gathered together--a team of talented, enthusiastic, and genuine people--will keep this project soaring.

There is much work to be completed, and it shall be done!

Transitions

Whew, it's been a while since I've written any updates on our film project. There are a few reasons for this, the biggest being the transition to post-production. We wrapped filming in January, and upon my return to Raleigh I immediately jumped into post-production. It's an exciting time--full of new challenges and lessons to learn.

The response to our inquiries about archived footage and images has been blissfully overwhelming. I have quite a wealth of visuals from which to choose, once we get the point of needing them (after creating the storyline, and before we start adding animated graphics and music). I cannot express how delighted I am by having so much to choose from; it has been a concern of mine for quite some time. To tell this story, we must have visuals to add to the interviews. I hope that I am not over-confident in what we have, though. It feels very similar to packing for a journey: where do you draw the line between being over-prepared and not prepared enough for your trip and the weather you'll encounter? (That analogy may be a stretch, but I'll let it rest there.)

So, what have I been doing with my time, you ask? Lots and lots and lots of planning and reviewing! I've been reading transcripts and watching footage, making notes of little "nuggets" of information that are important to the story. And similar to writing a term paper, I have been putting these bits of information on note cards.

Using real-life 3x5 note cards seems like an antiquated process, but it's the writer in me that needs the physical pieces of paper. Plus, by putting them on these tangible pieces of paper, I can reorganize them quickly as I see fit. And like Twitter's 140 character limit, the note cards limit me to very targeted thoughts and ideas. I can only fit so much on one of them, and that forces me to stay focused.

Right now I have about 100 cards that I carry with me, wrapped in a hair tie. No need to worry about batteries dying or loosing an internet connection--I have them right in front of me to organize and reorganize as I think through the story. Plus, people are less likely to look over my should when I feverishly scribble on pieces of paper versus an open laptop. It's not the most efficient process for the long haul, but right now it works beautifully. I can review them anywhere I go, and can post them on the wall at home if I need to stand in front of a linear view of the story. I like having them on a wall while at home. It makes it so real and personal, for whatever reason. (Much like sketching the design of a logo before sitting down to create it at a computer.)

This process may not be the best means of creating a story for everyone, so I'm not promoting it as a solution to your own challenges. It is simply working well for me right now, and that matters a lot to me. Identifying and then enlisting these processes is becoming second nature. Finding a way to make the work efficient, then testing them and trying them on is quite fun.

Surry and I had a great conversation yesterday about our plans for moving forward. We are both wrapping our heads around the process, focused on moving forward efficiently and in excellence. I am so honored to have such a fine partnership on my first film. He is setting the bar so high!

I feel like the work we're doing right now is very targeted and a little less blog-worthy because it's rather solitary work, but I'll do my best to keep you posted on our progress. Once we have our story outlined (like a recipie), we will jump head first into editing the 30+ hours of footage. Whew, it's going to be a long process!

The 8mm Projector

About a week ago, Surry shared his 8mm footage and projector with me. I brought them both home, terribly excited to have my hands on some footage from Vietnam to use in our film about the Montagnards. But I was also incredibly nervous that I would do something clumsy and cause something to stop working (like make the brittle film break, for example).

Tuesday of last week, I sat down with the projector and carefully took it apart like an archaeologist not knowing how to operate it properly. I figured out how to finally get the cover off, get the plug out, and turn it on. Success! The light came on, and that familiar sound of a film projector was music to my ears.

Until the light went out. I tried turning it on again, but had no luck. The bulb was gone. Here's a really terrible picture I took with my Blackberry so I can find another one.

Since the bulb went out, I have been trying to figure out how to view the footage (short of looking at it by hand, but I'm nervous about messing it up). Several people within my communities have kindly offered advice, and are helping me figure it out. Yesterday I even found a company that will do the conversion to DVD for you. I'm bound and determined to view this footage without paying an arm and a leg to have it converted, though. The past few interviews required travel, and my credit cards are pretty hot right now.

It's quite easy to let something like this distract me from getting things completed. It's important to stay on track when you only have nights and weekends to work on a project like this, and especially since I'm easily distracted by challenges like this one. Thankfully, my full time job has helped me become an expert time manager. I can recognize when I'm focused on something that should not be such a high priority so I can get other things marked off my to do list. And at the top of that list is finishing the script.

The script!

Right now, for the upcoming month, I am trying to focus on the script. I want to use the transcripts of our 30+ hours of footage to create a script. Surry and I both think this will help us create a blueprint for our small army of volunteers because we have so much footage. That way, when we all sit down to work, we know that we're creating the same film. And it will also save us from creating one film, viewing it, and then deciding we want to do something totally different later. Yes, in order to make the best use of our volunteers' time, we are creating a script to use as a guideline for everyone involved on the project.

So, while I am focusing on that every day (reading, writing, taking notes, rewriting, editing, etc.), this little nagging thought about the 8mm film keeps floating to the surface. I am thinking that once the script is completed, and once the editors start working, I can then focus on it again.

Regardless, if anyone knows anything about this (how to find a new bulb, someone willing to convert it in exchange for film credits, etc.), I would be most grateful! My Twitter community is already sharing such great information with me, and I feel most thankful to have their help!

A Week & A Day

Leaving MN/WI
How does a week go by so quickly?! It is hard to believe that just a week and a day ago, I was in the air returning from my MN/WI trip to interview John Plaster. The trip was just...unforgettable. In every way that a trip can be unforgettable: ease of flight/travel, kind people everywhere you go, delicious food, and of course two of the kindest hosts/tour guides to show you around.

I'm still on quite a natural high from the trip, and have been overjoyed when people ask me to tell them about it. It's probably impossible for me to hide my enthusiasm over such a successful filmmaking adventure. And I don't just mean the travel or the experience, I mean that the interview and the subsequent scanning of images were incredibly impressive. John has written a book about the SOG history, and has an amazing library of images that he so kindly shared with me. If you're interested in war history, go pick up a copy SOG: A Photo History of the Secret Wars. You won't regret it, and I'll thank you for supporting someone who's been so kind to me.

COLD, COLD, COLD
During my first few days up north, I kept thinking, "This weather isn't that bad, actually. I psyched myself up for it, and I haven't even needed a hat!" But, of course, I spoke too soon. Friday afternoon and Saturday morning were the most frigid temperatures I have ever experienced in my entire life!

I woke up that Saturday morning to -16F, with a wind chill that made it feel like -36F. YIKES! By the time I got to the airport around 1pm, it had warmed up to a cool zero degrees. While John and Gail have a lovely haven to call home in the MN/WI area, I do believe I headed South just in time. How lucky I was to have such great weather during my trip, though. John and his wife have convinced me to return after spring so that I can see even more of the beauty there. I do hope to make that happen.

Back in Raleigh, The Debrief
The Sunday following my departure was quite exciting, too. I got to catch up with my improv community over practice, and that evening filled Surry in on details of the trip. We talked about our next steps, and created a few action items for ourselves. It was incredibly exciting to talk about the coming months of work, and recognize that we had reached a significant milestone. We have concluded the interview process, now totaling 15 interviews!

Monday: Footage
On Monday, Surry did some searching and found some 8mm of archived footage from his time in Vietnam (as well as an 8mm film projector). That same day, I found a way to *finally* scan in the 35mm slides he shared with me so many months ago. While I haven't proven that this method of scanning the 35mm slides will work, I at least have a positive lead and that feels really great. What an exciting day!

Tuesday: Career Coach
Tuesday was equally thrilling, as I checked in with my career coach and told her about all of the exciting things happening at work and on my film. She's been instrumental in helping me stay balanced, focused and energized. The phone call with her was enough of a reason to be totally thrilled with the entire day.

She's giving me the tools I need to work more efficiently, something I really appreciate because I am trying to accomplish too much in too little time. (At least that is how it feels because I'm anxious to finish the film to share it, but I work full time as well) So, the more efficient I become, the more I can do, right? (OK, to a certain extent. You don't want to become too focused on efficient behavior because then you just work too much and have no time for important conversations and fun.)

One of the lessons she's helping me understand is how to more effectively deal with paper work. I've always been terrible about paper work. Mail piles up, and I can never find what I need because books are always stacked too high and falling over everywhere. Tax season makes me nauseous because I have to collect all of my paperwork I should have been organizing for a year. It's embarrasing to admit, so I'm dubmfounded as to why I'm writing about it openly. It's such an incredibly annoying habit of mine. But no more! Just like taking one's coat off and hanging it in the coat closet immediately, I am learning to touch paper only once and be done with it. Don't even let that task get on your to do list--just deal with it right then and there.

It's the same with Surry, I have noticed. When we chatted on Sunday about calling a few folks he knew, he immediately went to get the phone. Immediate action! Today, when we talked about looking for more prints and 35mm slides, he immediately went to go pick them up for me. Immediate action! It helps you become more efficient, and everyone loves to work with a person that can react so quickly. It's delightful, and I think I'm getting better at it.

Triangle Tweetup
Thursday was the Triangle Tweetup, where I met lots of my fellow Twitter folks (also known as Tweeps) in person. It was a packed house, with an estimated 100+ people there. There were presentations on what some of those in the Triangle Twitter community are working on, and I'm absolutely fascinated. So many great entrepreneurial projects are thriving here, even in a down economy. The Triangle Twitter community is absolutely amazing--so energetic, enthusiastic, intelligent and supportive--and I'm so lucky to keep meeting these impressive folks.

For the Twitter/social media doubters, I just wish you could have experienced it. The entire evening was like being surrounded by family, where everyone was curious about what you do and wants to help. I could harldy take one step without someone else introducing themselves! It was wonderful!

This part of the filmmaking process has often felt solitary because it requires a lot of reading, writing and research. It was rewarding to learn that people in the Triangle have been enjoying my writing about the filmmaking process, and are exciting to see the finished product. I feel like I've learned a lot from them. There was a lot of love in the room, for sure.

Here's a picture taking by Jeff Cohen, who is also on Twitter (@dgtlpapercuts, http://twitter.com/dgtlpapercuts). Edge Office was so packed! While I don't know the folks at Edge Office, I do most certainly appreciate their support by providing a place for us to gather--especially such a stylish place as theirs.

Meeting with Matthew
On Saturday, I met with one of my editors, Matthew. We had a long conversation about the film, creating the story, the filmmaking process, and what to expect in these next months. It was really great to sit with someone and tell the story: what do I want the audience to take away at the end of it? How do I want them to feel? It was unexpected, but not surprising, that I felt a rush of emotion wash over me as I talked about the Montagnards and how I want each person to feel a sense of honor and pride when they leave.

Matthew allowed me to explore this through comparison to other films, and I immediately thought of Braveheart. A story about a man who loves a woman he looses, but he stays incredibly strong in the face of adversity, and he leads his people to stand and fight for what's right. Although that film is quite long, you leave it feeling stronger and prouder. You feel the honor he felt in fighting for freedom.

Each time Matthew and I sit down to talk, I feel a sense of relief. He's been editing for about 10 years now, he said, and so he knows the process (both technically and emotionally) and gave me some serious insight and advice. I hold his words in such high regard, as he seems like a kindred spirit--someone willing to work on something because of the potential in the project. He helped me remember that I'm now entering uncharted territory again, and that it's OK to take small steps in order to learn how to walk again. We spent about 2.5 hours talking, and at the end of it I felt like a great weight had lifted. It was more therapeutic than he probably knows!

More Archived Footage
Today, Surry and I met to talk some more about where we are in the project, and where we need to go next. I filled him in on the things I had been doing all week, and he did the same. It's delighftul to have a partner in crime, someone there to help you work in the right direction. I feel like we make a pretty damn fine team, if ya don't mind me sayin' so!

Here's a picture of all the archived footage he has shared with me (both 35mm slides, printed images and 8mm films). Quite a collection!

I am overwhelmingly inundated with exactly the visuals I need--and from so many sources: Mike, Charlie, John, Surry and his contacts. Ask and you shall receive! There are still avenues to pursue for more archived visuals, and Surry and I are working on those diligently. I would much rather have too many images now, than get three or more months down the road and have to start the hunting process all over again. 'Tis better, in my opinion, to have too much good stuff from which to choose than not enough. The last thing anyone wants to watch is talking heads (improv taught me that).

The Website
We also talked about the website today. I've noticed that interest is growing in our project, and I have spent a fair amount of time explaining it to various folks in face to face conversations. That leads me to question how many others want to know more of this overview? And how many others are scanning the blog to hunt for information I should be putting on display?

The website, to me, was going to be a part of the post-production process--something to be completed when the film is finished so that the visuals are consistent with the branding of the movie. I'm quite a branding geek, and love to have all visuals consistent (DVD lables, cases, posters, website, and so on).

However, I now recognize the need for a website to pick up where this blog leaves off, something that can help introduce people to the movie even before it is completed. And now that I sit down to think on this, it seems like a natural step in Hollywood to build excitement about a film that has not yet been finished. So, it seems, we will have that project to work on while simultaneously writing the script (a blueprint for all volunteers to help build the same movie). The website may not look like the final brand, but I think that's alright. Right now, if we focus on creating the content and navigational architecture, that will make the work at the end of the project run so smoothly.

There is still much work to be done. All of it is exciting--never a dull moment!

This week has been one of the most amazing by far, though. I even went running on Saturday--for the first time in months because I was so sick with bronchitis. It feels amazing to be healthy and hustling towards our goal of completing the film in the coming months. I finally feel like the old Camden again. Ohhhh, and for that, I am so thankful!

In short, I feel like I am soaring--not because of what I have done, but because of the talent, passion, intelligence and dedication of those that surround me. Building a power team like this helps one be a true mover and a shaker, and I am starting to really understand that now. I always knew it, but had not really experienced it until now. I'm surrounded by greatness.

The Interview with John Plaster

Friday was the big day. I woke up too early. It's hard to sleep the night before an interview, I have found. I get so worked up about it, that I can hardly rest. Remember what it was like to wait for Santa to come? How can you sleep when you know what excitement will come in the morning!?

Timeliness
Because I was using my cell phone as a watch, I almost showed up for the interview an hour early. Thankfully I remembered that my phone was still on EST, but managed to still show up 10 minutes too early. I was used to leaving 20 minutes early to get anywhere, and forgot how conveniently close the Inn was to our film location.

It was, again, an important lesson. When a Special Forces guy tells you a meeting time, they keep their word. Ironically enough, I had been watching the Military Channel the previous day while working. A show about training for the Marines was on, and one of the exercises was about detonating explosives at a specific time. They were four minutes late. And got into some serious trouble because they didn't follow directions. Mistakes like that lead to casualties in the field. It's important to know you can rely on that soldier to do what is asked of him (or her), like detonating or showing up on time.

So, needless to say, I felt pretty terrible about showing up 10 minutes early. And since the filming location was a quiet little area, I couldn't very well sit in the car and look like a stalker waiting for those 10 minutes to pass. By the time I got out of the car, the door opened and they were there to greet me. And did so with a smile, I might add.

Setting Up
About half an hour later, we were set up for the interview. Actually, I could have been a full hour. I am very meticulous in framing the shot now, and have no misgivings about making the world stop until I have it set up the way I want it to look. It's taken me a while to get there, but I finally make no excuses for taking my time to do it as great as I possibly can. Hopefully that will pay off in the end.

Finally, we sat and turned on the camera. John began to answer my first question, and as I listened with the headphones on I realized that I missed a connection. The wireless mic wasn't being picked up by the receiver. No, wait, the receiver was picking it up because I had a green light. Aha, I had missed a very important cable--the one that connects the wireless mic receiver to the camera itself. We paused to look for it.

It was nowhere to be found.

I looked inside every piece of luggage. Inside every pocket, every corner, every place I had touched since I walked into the room. It was nowhere. Nowhere!

I flashed back to the moments at RDU, fumbling to shift the weight of my luggage around so that I could check my bags. Had it fallen out then? I always look over my shoulder as I walk away to make sure nothing fell. Nope, didn't remember seeing it there when I looked back. Was it resting comfortably in the camera bag I left in Raleigh to make the suit case lighter? Nope, I had checked that twice before leaving.

If there's one thing I had done, it was pack and repack and then check everything again. When you leave your house, you'd better have everything you need for that shoot. Otherwise, you'll miss your flight or later waste precious time trying to buy the thing you've forgotten. I still couldn't find it. And by this time, I was starting to break a sweat, angry at myself for letting something so silly as a connection cable like that waste my precious interviewing time.

Oh, my kingdom for a cable!

I surrendered. And took off the wool sweater that was helping me turn red with anger over such a silly missed detail. We sat down to start again, and John was ever so patient with me. We started rolling the tape.

The Interview
Having read his books, I was prepared for our interview. But, I confess, reading the stories and hearing them in person quite different. I found myself struggling to restrain against sitting back to listen with undivided attention. Like a kid at story time, I wanted to sit with my legs crossed and my chin resting on my knuckles and stare in fascination at what would be shared next.

Acting as the director and interviewer, though, I did my best to listen, zoom out when he used his hands, and still be prepared with my next questions so the transition from one answer to another would be logical and seamless for him.

It's been really interesting to compare each interviewee against one another. Some of them are slow to answer, others are very succinct and eloquent, and most of them are well versed in giving interviews. I feel so lucky to be speaking with them, and appreciative of their patience with a new filmmaker.

In two short hours, we wrapped the interview. My legs were restless, but I could have sat and listened to him talk for the rest of the afternoon. We stopped the tape, and he left me to strike what had become our set as he prepared our lunch.

John and Gail served me one of the best roast beef sandwhiches I have ever tasted (or probably will ever taste). John had made them, and--wow--was it delicious. I learned that John was a cook at age 17. I can hardly remember what I was doing at 17. Perhaps life guarding? I was very impressed, needless to say.

Post-Interview
The rest of the afternoon we spent looking through photographs and scanning in the ones we thought would be most helpful. I came home with a striking collection, and really look forward to using them in the film.

What a relief it is to start collecting visuals! I have been quite anxious about how to collect these, knowing that I would need them, but not able to focus on that effort just yet. While in the midst of filming, it is tough to start working on post-production efforts like collecting images. I recognize that now we have wrapped filming, and collecting those has become quite easier with the help from many key folks (more on that later).

After we wrapped those efforts, we took my equipment back to the Inn and headed to The Flying Eagle for a fish fry. It was delightful! We stepped out of the vehicle into the frigid air, and the view of such a clear starry night sky was unforgettable. I have not seen stars like that since I lived in my hometown in Eastern N.C. Not a cloud in the sky, just a big blanket of twinkling stars above.

In short, the entire day was one dream come true after the next. The interview, scanning the images and the delicious food made for one amazing day. This, my friends, is the type of thing you only see in movies because it's almost too good to be true!

Thursday Recap (Part II)

Well, I'm safely back in Raleigh, N.C., now. It's delightful to blog from the comfort of my own home! Little Louie is asleep and cozy, and I'm tucked in tight under an electric blanket. The city is fairly cold, but compared to yesterday's temps in Wisconsin it feels delightfully warm! (Here is a picture of the picnic table just outside my Inn. Look at all of that snow on it. Beautiful, hey?)

It feels like so much happened over the past few days that capturing it here doesn't do it any justice.

Yesterday I tried to use my time wisely and write while in the airport, which thankfully had free wi-fi. However, I sat down to start writing and before I could get my thoughts out, that guy walked into the ladie's room, and I didn't stop him because I couldn't very well go in after him. (That would be wierd.) Then I kept writing since the airport wasn't busy, but the little old lady went in after him! I tried to focus, but over heard her kicking him out and then as he exited he giggled a little. By the time I had typed anything, they then called us through security. Oh well! You win some, you loose some. I gave up and put away my laptop as a US Air Force soldier nodded and smiled at me, "That's us! You better go through security."

So, without further ado, here is a recap of the rest of Thursday since it was tough to capture during the first attempt.

Thursday's activities weren't terribly exciting. I worked from the hotel so I didn't have to take another vacation day, and was really grateful to be able to do that. My job has taught my so many skills that I have used while making this film: prioritizing, schedule coordination, anticipating someone's reaction, looking into the future to ensure everything runs smoothly. Yes, my full time job is not something I take for granted. I really enjoy the work, flexibility and environment. It's tough to have a full time job I enjoy so much, and then have such a fun project like this to work on as well! So, I did my best to work remotely and be as available as possible even though I wasn't in the office.

Thursday night, the Plaster's took me out to show me their bowling alley and then we ate some incredibly tasty pizza. Once again, the conversation was delightful. They are such an inspiring couple, tackling so many fun projects together. It seems they champion and challenge one another very well. John called Gail beautiful at one point over the past few days, and she grinned back at him. "Can you elaborate?" she smiled. I told her I was definitely stealing that line!

When I got back to the Inn, I checked the sanner to be sure it came with everything I needed. It was missing a USB cord, and of course I didn't have an extra one on me. I semi-panicked at the thought of having to drive two hours to get the cord (one hour each way to Duluth). I spoke with a kind woman named Pat at the front desk, who helped me look through what they had on hand. No USB cords available. "We don't do much on computers at the front desk," she said.

But Wal-Mart should be open, and it was only 30-40 miles away. She thought it was 24/7, and called them to be absolutely certain. It would be about a 1/2 hour drive in each direction. And now it was after 9:30pm. I didn't want to call the Plasters that late to see if they had the cord, plus it's my responsibility to show up with everything I need to work.

I made the treck in the dark, a little nervous that should anything go wrong I wouldn't know who to call. There were few gas stations on the road, miles apart from one another and only frozen wilderness separated them. I wasn't sure anyone could come to my rescue if anything happened.

Pat, at the front desk, also confessed she was worried about me being out on the road so late at night. But, our worries were for naught. I made it to Wal-Mart, picked up the USB cord, and made it back to the Inn before 11pm. I let her know I was back, and she sighed with relief. It was a good feeling to know someone was looking out for me.

Now having everything I needed for the next day's work, I settled in for some rest. Anxious, restless, and nervous about the next day (I always get nervous before the interviews), I found myself tossing and turning. So I pulled out John's book, Secret Commandoes: Behind Enemy Lines with the Elite Warriors of SOG. I felt like I had much of it fresh in my memory, but reviewing it made me sleep easier. He's a great writer, and shares details of operations that happen behind enemy lines during the Vietnam War. Having read it, I almost feel like I was there with him, knew the people he served with, and suffered through the losses with him. It's interesting to think that reading someone's writing makes you feel like you know the person.

There was no time to think about that in depth, though. I had to get some rest so I would be able to show up on time, ready to work. There would be no way I could pack the car, drive to his home, unload the 100+ lbs of equipment, set everything up, conduct the interview, and then spend hours scanning images if I didn't have a full night's rest. That meant falling asleep, and immediately. I put the book down, turned off the lights and sighed. Thankfully it wasn't long before I peacefully drifted off to sleep.

Friday was the big day.

Thursday's Events

So, I promised you a recap, didn't I? Here we go...

Thursday
You've already heard about Wednesday's activities. On Thursday I woke up fairly early, and worked from the hotel throughout the day. It was rather uneventful, other than feeling strange to work remotely from a hotel room rather than my own home. That's a first for me. I'm incredibly thankful for my full time job that affords me (side note: a guy just went into the woman's bathroom at the airport!) the luxury of working remotely and traveling. I feel really lucky.

I also drove an hour back into Duluth to pick up a scanner. Had I had my wits about me on Wednesday, I would have picked one up before leaving town. But I haven't lived in a small town since 1999, so I have forgotten what it's like to not have immediate access to what you want. I got a little printer (side note: a woman just went into the ladies while the guy's still in there), and went back to the Inn where I stayed. A fairly uneventful drive, but I got what I needed...or so I thought.

Around 5pm, the Plasters picked me up and we went to Judy's Drift In for a beer. It was the second time I'd been there, and everyone welcomed me like I'd been there forever. I love small towns, where everyone knows your name. (Lady in bathroom said, "Either you're in the wrong one, or I am." Guy exits bathroom and giggles.)

The Plasters showed me around town, we had a bite to eat, and we chatted a bit about life and what keeps us busy. They understand my desire for having more hours in the day. We also confirmed the plans for filming on Friday, and they dropped me off at the Inn again.

That evening I found myself in the quiet room again, alone with my thoughts and Plaster's books. I mentally ran through the next morning: getting ready, packing the car, setting up the equipment, the interview, then scanning his images after that.

(Just got the announcement for my flight.)

I fell asleep around 1am, anxious and excited about the following day's activities and hopeful that I might live up to their expectations. There was much to accomplish the next day, and I knew the hours would disappear all too quickly.

Another Recap to Come

Oh, my friends. I have been so spoiled over these past few days! The intelligent conversations over most delicious food, beautiful scenery and kind people--can a working weekend get any better?

Tomorrow I leave to return to North Carolina. Normally a very happy (and warm) Southerner, I find myself quite surprisingly at home here in the North! My hosts, John and Gail Plaster, have been treating my like royalty and showing me the haven they have here.

Much has happened since my last post, but I will capture it all as I wait for my plane tomorrow. Right now, my brain is a bit exhausted and ready for rest!

The Spot

As the Military Channel plays "Great Planes" in the background, I reflect on today. It was a very long and exciting day. I left RDU at 9am, surprisingly enough. With about 6" of snowfall in Raleigh yesterday, I honestly wasn't expecting to leave the city any time soon. Delightfully relieved that the flight wasn't delayed or canceled, I made it to Duluth on time!

Overweight, Again
Yep, my bags were over the weight limit again. Having to rearrange my checked baggage because it's over the weight limit is becoming routine. I thought I had it figured out this time, having kept my tripod in my hand as a carry on instead of packing it. The heaviest suitcase is virtually empty. I blame the lighting equipment. The Northwest Airlines check-in counter lady was very firm. It had to be less than 50lbs. By the third attempt, though, she kindly let me slip by with just 1.5lbs over the limit.

Eventually I was on the way to the gate.

Later I arrived in Detroit, made my connecting flight and then finally made it to Duluth.

Interesting People, Places
When I got to Duluth, I couldn't find my bags on the big metal baggage claim carousel. It wasn't moving. I looked left, looked right. Couldn't find my bags anywhere. I looked at a guy who had an official airport ID card hanging from his shirt. "Is this the only baggage claim area," I asked, rather confused because I had been getting misdirected all throughout the Detroit airport. He nodded. As I turned around, I saw my two bags sitting in a corner by a door. Whew, I had almost had a heart attack.

Seconds later, I was getting my rental car. The woman at the car rental counter in Duluth and I had an interesting conversation. This is why I love to travel. You meet the most interesting people in the most unexpected places. And if you're hip to it, you can learn a lot from a stranger fairly quickly. Hearing someone's story never ceases to fascinate me. People like to tell their story. You have to be patient and listen. But even at the rental car counter, you can learn part of someone's story.

She told me about her ex-husband, a Special Forces recon man who stood at a striking 6'7" tall. Now, 6'7" is tall in the States, but just imagine being that tall in the jungles of Vietnam being hunted by the VC--yikes. He was probably three feet taller than the locals around him, making him a prime shooting target. She told me how he learned to hide by leaning against trees because he was so skinny. And how he got wounded, shot in the head and thigh. She had married him after he returned from Vietnam, and on occassion would find him doing what she called "strange things" around the house. She said that the war really messed him up, and that she was glad they "deprogrammed him" when he got back, otherwise she could very well have been killed by him.

We didn't talk for a really long time, but we did cover a fair bit of details. She asked why I was there, and what the documentary was about. It made me wish I had business cards and a website up already so I share it easily when asked. She handed me the keys and directions, wishing me luck and a great trip.

On the Road East
Before I left the airport, I stopped to take this picture. I was finally on my way East on the last leg of the journey. It would be a fairly straight shot on the road, and I was told that I couldn't miss the Inn where I am staying over the next few nights. Before I knew it, I was crossing over Lake Superior and then quickly entering Wisconsin. And just as quickly, I was checked in and unpacking.

Meeting John and Gail
Around 5pm, as promised, John came to the Inn to pick me up for dinner. And over the next hours, John and his wife, Gail, would make me feel like visiting royalty! This is my first trip to Minnesota and Wisconsin, and I am quite taken with what I have seen today, thanks to them. It is easy to understand why they enjoy living here so much. While I had not planned on staying so long originally, I am quite happy that I will have more time to work remotely and get to know them.

They showed me around the area, and a few places I may need to know about over the coming days. We talked about what we enjoy (work, hobbies, recreational fun, etc.), travel, Vietnam, the Montagnards, Hollywood, writing and screenwriting, and even a little bit about blogging and social media! We eventually had dinner at a place called The Spot, on a lake where they pointed out people were ice fishing.

Ice fishing! How have I never seen anyone ice fishing in real life? Just as the darkness of evening set in, you could spot little shacks out on the frozen lake. Some had lights inside them. Then some times cars would come and go, driving slowly across the frozen water. I was fascinated and probably asked a lot of silly I'm-from-the-South questions. (But how will you learn if you don't ask?) We found common ground when comparing it to NCSU tailgating, as those little shacks have many of the comforts of home just like the good ole boys can swing together back home. Just like we tailgate in the heat and humidity in NC with tents and pig cookers and friends, the ice fishers stay out there and have a good time with their buddies in these rather comfy shacks on ice. I was so excited to learn more about it, having never really encountered the chance to even think on the topic.

The more we talked and dined, the more I got excited about our on camera interview. And with every bite of that amazing Steak Deburgo, I learned more about the two new friends sitting with me. I am sincerely excited about learning from them.

The Coming Days
Tonight we finalized our plans for filming: day, time, location, etc. I have a lot of exciting work ahead of me, for sure. With each step of this process, I grow more and more humbled and appreciative of such an opportunity.