Diary of a Documentary

The Man Who Owns Much

2012-01-28T14:17:00.002-05:00

My dad says, "A man who owns much is much owned." This message was lost on me for a long time, until 2005 when I began to process it. That year we emptied the home where I spent the majority of my life.

Now that we're emptying the home where my grandparents lived for 40 years, I find myself thinking about it nonstop. The things in their home need a new place to live and serve a purpose. Thus the cycle of owning stuff continues, eh?

When I started working on Abandoned Allies, I made decisions that would change my life--specifically how I perceive the owning of stuff. I quit my job during a recession, which lead to a change in my perception of the world and where I fit into it.

I was spending time with people who valued the chance to live in the land of the free--having risked their lives to get here. That made realities about my old world slightly less desirable. The slow change made me see some realities I had previously ignored. I recognized my silly spending habits. I saw that what I valued (ie: where I spent my time, energy, and money) wasn't what I really longed to value.

The wool had been lifted. I began to see why people elsewhere in world might think of Americans as wealthy, frivolous, and selfish. I started to understand why they might only see raw consumerism, capitalism, and a massive waste of resources.

It changed me forever. I felt lost between the old and new worlds. The two clashed in a painful way, and I'm still struggling to figure it out.

It is a tough thing to explain. One of the vets with whom I had coffee last year explained, "The Montagnards? They have it figured out." He understood this clashing of worlds, changing values, and the truth of being somewhat lost in between them.

Regardless, here's the epiphany: you don't need stuff to be happy. That truth can be realized painfully, but it will inevitably set you free.

This Norelco razor is one of the things we found in the attic.
I've started photographing things that I think are cool.

Betty White's 90th Birthday

2012-01-26T19:11:00.001-05:00

This photo isn't from her 90th birthday
celebration, but it's one I like a lot.
She looks so happy!

NBC recently honored Betty White for her 90th birthday.

Man, oh man. I adore Betty White--like most of the rest of the world. She's a fantastic woman: kind, funny, smart, and a little suggestive every now and then. Recently I have been reading a lot of biographies, and Betty White's was the first I finished. It was fantastic.

It's wonderful when the stars align and seemingly separate things come together without your own intent. When I started reading these biographies, I had no idea that her 90th birthday celebration was going to air. It wasn't until I finished three books--all of which overlapped one another in their discussion of the early days of TV--that I even heard the celebration was taking place. (Read my previous blog post about those books here.) I kinda like to think that's a little gift from my grandmother, who would be happy I've been reading her books.

So the stars aligned and I got to watch the Betty White birthday celebration because my kind boyfriend recorded it for me. We watched it this week, while eating a delicious dinner he cooked in honor of dating one another for a full year. What a wonderful anniversary gift--the chance to see so many of my favorite entertainment people packed into one special show.

I cried.

When Betty White came up on stage to say thank you to everyone, I choked back the unexpected tears before letting them just flow freely.

My head has been in the early days of TV because of these books. Spending a lot of time with these people hearing their life stories helps me understand them (and the industry) better. Some how I feel like they could be dear friends, you know what I mean? I've spent the past two months listening to Betty White, Carol Burnette, and Dick van Dyke talk about their work and the people they appreciate: Mary Tyler Moore, Carl Reiner, Ed Asner, and soooo many others.

And I got to see many of them on that show this week. By chance.

Now I recognize that we all want to do great work but it's a challenge for so many reasons. Life simply happens and there are no projects or paths that are easy. Every step of the way I've struggled with Abandoned Allies, but I've learned really great lessons--but I'm getting paid now to put those lessons to work and that's pretty cool.

Plus, if this stuff were really easy, the victory might not taste so sweet. It's hard on purpose. You have to really, really want it. Because making a film is damn difficult.

My other epiphany repeat: life is just a fleeting moment in time. We aren't here for very long. My grandmother lived to be 91, but even that doesn't feel like a very long time to me. I miss her terribly, and simultaneously recognize my own limited existence.

So here to you, Betty White. Thanks for having an awesome 90th birthday party, and letting little folks like me share it with you.

We Are Human

2012-01-16T20:58:00.002-05:00

Last night I watched the Golden Globes with some friends.

While watching, I critiqued the celebrities: how they looked, what they wore, what they said. I critiqued the way the show was put together, too. Throughout the evening, some of the things I said were pretty harsh.

It is easy to judge when you're safely sitting at home in your pajamas.

In the midst of it, I realized something. We are human.

We aren't perfect. We're incredibly fragile. It's easy to be cruel. It's much more challenging to be kind, considerate, vulnerable, and encouraging.

Celebrity Biographies

2012-01-12T17:36:00.001-05:00

My grandmother loved to read, especially biographies. Dad bought audio books to entertain her since she rarely left home in recent years.

Grandma listened to Seabiscuit so many times it no longer played. So dad bought a second copy. (We show love in the tiny, considerate things we do, eh?)

Since she passed away last month, we have been slowly and methodically taking her things home with us. I asked dad if I could borrow the books.

I’ve finished Betty White’s Here We Go Again and Carol Burnett's This Time Together. I’m now on my third, Dick Van Dyke’s My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business. (Coincidentally, Dick Van Dyke just made news because he’s engaged at age 86.)

Hearing Betty White, Carol Burnett, and Dick Van Dyke talk about life in show business has been incredible. It’s like riding to work with them every day.

Betty White has told me about her marriages, love of animals, and working on Golden Girls. Carol Burnett has told me about moving to NYC, that dreams do come true, and she tugged her ear for her Nanny. Dick Van Dyke has told me about being too poor to get married, his road to success, and working with Mary Tyler Moore.

One thing common among them is a humble appreciation for doing work they loved and earning enough to put food on the table. They share the recognition that such luck is rare, but dreams do come true and anything is possible. Each took risks, followed their passion and intuition, and worked hard to keep working.

It’s no coincidence that I’m listening to these books—a girl with big dreams about making films, and trying to figure out a place in the world.

My grandmother keeps giving me gifts, even though she’s no longer here.

Lessons from My Grandmother

2012-01-11T20:29:00.002-05:00

My grandmother, Virginia.

My only surviving grandparent just passed away. Her name was Virginia, but her daddy called her Ginger. I call her Grandma, which sounds more like GRAN-mah.

My grandma taught me many things. Here are a few of them:

Laugh often.
Family is important.
Know your roots. Share genealogy with family. Document it for those who don't care right now, but might later.
Cook with love. Often. And share hand-written recipes.
Be a voracious reader. On many different subjects, especially biographies.
Write the names of people on the back of pictures so your kids will know who they are even after you're gone. But use a pen or pencil that won't destroy the picture.
Every Southern woman has to have a garden.
Plant things in your garden that bloom different times throughout the year. Decorate your house with the flowers.
God is love. Pray to Him. ("I love talking to the Lord!" she said.)
Handwritten letters can be treasured forever if preserved. Send snail mail often and don't wait for an occasion.
Always write thank you notes. Send them immediately afterwards, so the person knows how grateful you are for what they did for you.
Take time to be active. Play tennis, golf, or soccer. Go swimming.
Explore: go to the beach, mountains, or NYC. Go with loved ones.
Take pictures of the happy times so they'll take you through the tough times.
Quiz your kids and grandkids on the names of your ancestors.
Use resources wisely: money, materials, etc.
Learn to write, sew, craft, and do artistic stuff.
Find a new purpose for what most consider trash. It'll save you money and keep things out of the landfill.
Dance often. Take lessons. Do a show on stage. Learn to move with the music.
Sing proudly and joyfully. (She always asked me if I'd joined the church choir yet.)
Celebrate the holidays as family. And be happy you're together one more time--that can always change unexpectedly.
Go to the library. You can read plenty of books for free!
Have a pet-friendly home. Teach your kids to respect and care for other living creatures.
Spend time in nature. Appreciate and care for the great outdoors.
You don't need a lot of stuff to be happy. Happiness doesn't come from owning stuff.
Mac and cheese is baked with real cheese, and it is really good.
Sweet tea tastes better when you add mint, especially mint from your garden.
It's not the food, china, silver, or decorations--but the time you spend with loved ones enjoying good company that you'll remember.
Always offer someone a beverage when they come to your home. Even if they're there to work on your house. You never know what they're going through, or how hard the day has been. A simple gesture can make a big difference. It's Southern hospitality, y'all.
Have a front porch. With a swing. And rocking chairs. Spend time there, chatting with people you love about things you remember fondly.
Even though you may not visit family often, you're still family. Call and invite yourself down for a visit, and let them know they can come visit you any time.
Hug often.

These past few weeks have been tough. But today I recognized I learned so much from loving and being loved by an incredible woman like my grandmother.

A person never quite leaves you, even though they aren't physically here on Earth. And that's amazing, isn't it? I'm still mourning, but each day gets a little easier. I'm beginning to remember how to laugh.

Mourning

2011-12-19T20:07:00.004-05:00

My grandmother died. On December 7th, a day which will live in infamy.

This is the reason you've not heard from me in a while. I've been spending time with family. Now I'm mourning the loss of an incredible woman, and struggling to adjust to the reality that I will never see her again in this lifetime.

Mourning is tough.

It's been a while...

2011-12-02T09:14:00.001-05:00

Well, hello. It's been a while. I hope you are well.

You haven't heard from me in a long time for a number of reasons. We had a private screening on November 17th, which took lots of preparation. Then I needed a time of recovery afterwards. And there was a time of listening, planning and open conversation while I took feedback from folks who had just seen the film.

Technology has been a beast lately, too. Old browsers are no longer supported by Goggle/Blogger. My phone has been giving me plenty of troubles. But the biggest annoyance is courtesy of my seven year old Mac G5, which can no longer do the jobs I need it to do. It's time to put that faithful, sweet horse out to pasture. I desperately needed a new computer

Feeling that I shouldn't post something that is full of complaints... I have left this blog rather abandoned. If you have missed getting the updates, know that they would have been rather whiney ones and you haven't missed much.

Life has been challenging. But it's all relative. My first world problems are silly in comparison to the challenges people face in other parts of the world. So I try to keep mum and carry on.

So here's some good news. The film actually played at the event, I have only a few things left to finish it, and pretty soon we will share it publicly. I've learned so much along the way. And now I can make another one faster and better. Win!

Subtitles

2011-11-08T07:36:00.001-05:00

We are well on our way to finishing the film. We have a private screening for cast, crew, family, and friends scheduled for this month, too. Very exciting.

One thing I can't figure out is subtitles. I know how to put text on the screen in FCP, but I'm curious if there's a faster / better way to do it. I need to do some research on it, and stop fiddling with the last minute of film.

So great to have hard deadlines for motivation. I'd like to set another one for March 2012, where we can screen the film publicly. This would motivate me to get the film on DVDs, wrap up branding, and a few other things. Screening the film at IMAX, Rialto, or Carolina Theater would all be awesome.

More work to do for now, though. I'll keep ya posted!

Thoughts Regarding the Next Project

2011-11-02T18:04:00.000-04:00

Since we're so close to finishing Abandoned Allies, my thoughts regularly turn to "what next?" A lot of people are asking me this question, too.

While I have not chosen a specific project, I do know that there will be vast improvements on the endeavor. My mind is always going about this: how can I make the next film better, more efficiently, and faster? What crew will I need to do it, and with whom do I want to work? How much will it cost to make the next one? Where will I find those resources?

It is really exciting to be thinking through these things. It signifies that I have learned so much in these past few years. It also means that I am gaining a clearer picture of the type of filmmaker I want to become, and what areas give me the most joy. I love producing, directing, researching, interviewing, and (gasp) editing.

Yeah. I hated editing at one point. It can be so tedious, lonely, overwhelming. But my career coach helped me realize how much I hated it and now ... I kind of enjoy it. Weird, huh?

As I think back on making Abandoned Allies, the parts that I enjoyed the most are what I want to focus on the next time around. The parts that I didn't enjoy? I want to find someone else that loves those tasks, and might want to work with me in such a regard.

I feel like that's one small part of what makes a great team: each person being focused on the thing they enjoy. We're all so different.

When I met with Willie, I was so curious about what he knows of sound. I could have pestered him with questions for hours. What's that button do? Why'd you chose to do that? It was so much fun to sit with someone who simply loves sound, you know?

So as we get closer to the end of this phase of the project, my mind is racing with ideas for the next project. The subject of this film has been so dynamic and interesting. It might be hard to find something I can enjoy researching so much, but I feel like "the next one" is out there waiting on me to discover it.

In the meantime, I hope to do some shorter films. Something a little silly or lighthearted might be nice, just to stretch and explore the art of making films.

We shall see!

Color Correction

2011-10-26T07:59:00.001-04:00

Tonight we are working on color correction. This means we will edit the clips to make them look much better. I have known this was coming, so there are so many things about color in the film that bother me. I'm excited to fix those things.

Sound

2011-10-25T16:42:00.001-04:00

Today I'm meeting with my sound engineer, Willie, who will help me with a few things. I hope he can fix some problems, as well as normalize sound so the audio is all on the same level. (That means you don't have to turn the volume up and down throughout the movie.)

Willie and I met about a year ago, if I remember correctly. He has been patiently waiting for me to finish the film since then, and we are finally meeting about sound today.

Huge milestone, to say the least. We are hustling torwards the real finish line now. More updates to come.

Chicago

2011-10-16T15:32:00.005-04:00

View of Chicago from the Museum Campus, one of my
favorite places to stop on the way into town.

This week I was in Chicago for a short time.

It's been years since I visited friends in various corners of the world because I put myself on "lock down" to finish Abandoned Allies: no frivolous travel, spending, and extra curricular activities were temporarily put on hold.

Now that the film is almost finished and we have a private screening of the film scheduled, I am starting to come alive again. Or at least return to my old ways. I strive to be a better member of my family, reconnect with friends whom I have neglected, and travel again.

Since we're still tidying up the film, I can't quite "go hog wild" as my dad says. One small step at a time, and this time a little skip up to Chicago for two nights was just what I needed.

My friends Alex and Jessica were kind enough to host me on short notice. A few friends that have lived in Chicago for about three or four years were gracious enough to meet us for dinner while I was in town, too. (Each of them has let me stay with them, too. I'm so lucky to have such generous friends!)

My hosts (and fellow improvisers) Jessica and Alex.

Since there was little trip planning involved, I am sad that I didn't get to catch up with everyone. Next time, though, next time.

Screening of Abandoned Allies Final Cut

2011-10-15T14:24:00.000-04:00

It's a great pleasure to share that another private screening of Abandoned Allies has been scheduled for mid-November. This will be the first time we invite all cast and crew to come together to see the FINAL CUT of the documentary--a rather monumental occasion in the life of this film. We're still sending out invites, and I hope the majority of the cast and crew will be able to join us that evening.

The milestone has me incredibly excited and simultaneously terribly nervous. The film is in great shape--so much better than it was when we shared it in July--but there are still little things I wish I had the resources to change / improve. Perhaps this is always going to be the case when making a film. I know it's true for other creative endeavors.

Nevertheless, I'm ready to share it with everyone. I can't wait until next month.

Screening of "Breakthrough" on Oct. 20th

2011-10-12T10:40:00.001-04:00

The documentary "Breakthrough" follows several artists in their creative endeavors.

A documentary film titled "Breakthrough" will be screening in the Triangle next Thursday, October 20th at 7pm at the Rialto Theater. Tickets are $4 at the door, but only $2 if you say you're a friend of mine.

The film is a new documentary that follows the "creative quest of several local artists" and runs 51 minutes. Filmmaker Elisabeth Haviland James will introduce the film and host a follow up panel discussion. Parts of the film were shot and edited by the folks behind "Catfish," though I'm not sure exactly who helped with this new doc.

Because she is supported by two kind fellas I know, I'll do my best to be there. Let's fill the house for a fellow filmmaker, eh? Y'all spread the word!

More details are available on the Facebook event page.

Capital Leadership Initiative

2011-10-05T19:56:00.000-04:00

The Capital Leadership Initiative (CLI) is run by the Junior League of Raleigh (JLR), and I am lucky enough to be a part of this year's program. On Monday night we had our second session at the JLR building on Hillsborough Street in Raleigh, N.C.

It's been years since I was in a leadership training course like this: sitting in a room full of passionate, motivated, professional, and incredibly intelligent women. While I was studying at Meredith College, I naively thought that environment was the norm. Leadership training opportunities were common. The camaraderie of female leaders eager to improve their skills was not rare. After graduation I soon learned that such an encouraging environment is both hard to find and incredibly valuable.

This week has reminded me that Meredith College was the right place to earn my undergraduate degree. Isn't that a great feeling? To recognize that you made the right decision?

It's an odd thing to look back on one's relatively short life and recognize all of the key moments that brought you to the present. For whatever reason, I found myself rather nostalgic as I drove home from the session on Monday.

In no attempt to brag, I must say: I have led a charmed life. I am so happy to be a part of this year's CLI program, which has already helped me greatly.

Thoughts on Being Succinct

2011-10-04T07:41:00.003-04:00

It can be a challenge.

Studying JFK

2011-10-02T11:41:00.001-04:00

As part of my research for Abandoned Allies, I have had the pleasure of briefly studying the life of President John F. Kennedy. I still have much to learn on many, many topics.

Yet I have never fully understood obsessions with Elvis, JFK, and Princess Di. Because these public figures changed the world so drastically and each died at a young age, reasons for the existence of such an obsession seems obvious. Curiosity has gotten the better of me over the years and so I have spent time studying each one--and have subsequently fallen in love with them along with the rest of the world. And I similarly mourned their loss as if I actually knew them once upon a time.

President Kennedy, for those of you whom don't know, is tied to the beginning of the U.S. Special Forces which is why I have been studying his life. Many people argue about the actual start of the Special Forces because its roots are traced back even further--but that's the natural course of history. One thing leads to another, which leads to another, and such is life: it is all connected and it is cyclical. That's an oversimplification, of course, but it's undoubtedly true that JFK played a key role in the development and strengthening of the U.S. Special Forces.

Ergo, I have been studying his life, presidency, and influence on strengthening a pool of talented volunteers willing to participate and lead unconventional warfare. It is absolutely fascinating, but this segment of history is clouded by his untimely death. Most of my research results in assassination conspiracies, making it challenging to easily find more about his connection to the U.S. Special Forces. I shall return to my books, where I might have more concentration information I seek--when I have more time.

I should note: this research is not as relevant as other topics in the film so I haven't allowed myself a lot of time with it. I simply find this tangent enjoyable when I return to it, and my curiosity grows stronger each time. I would love to know many more details about the Special Forces, and Kennedy's development of this elite fighting force.

The U.S. Army John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center and School is located at Ft. Bragg in North Carolina. I have been lucky enough to visit the Airborne and Special Operations Museum in Fayetteville, N.C. I remember sitting in the gift shop wishing I could afford a copy of John Plaster's SOG: A Photo History of the Secret Wars long before I had the pleasure of interviewing him in Wisconsin.

With a tripod I took a self-portrait before leaving the airport in
Duluth, MI, en route to interview Maj. John Plaster.

While the Special Forces are, obviously, a key part of the film's subject matter, I haven't delved completely into their history and JFK's critical role. And, thus, I am reminded that there are many depths to my ignorance on the subject matter I attempt to share with my generation: the history of our nation during the Vietnam War, present day foreign trade, current immigration policy, protection of human rights, and the history and culture of a people known collectively as Montagnards.

My ignorance knows no bounds, apparently. I have a lot more to learn.

For now I am satisfied with having merely scratched the surface, knowing just enough to be dangerous, and boldly serving as a humble spokesperson for this group of people that have been marginalized for so long. It's more than terrifying to know that you may be asked to speak for a group of people you're still getting to know. Therefore, I'm eternally grateful to those supporting and leading us who confirm or correct the details I share.

Should someone challenge the truth of the content shared in Abandoned Allies, I am content in continuing conversations. I have done as much research as I can with the resources available. And because of this--knowing I have done my best--I am content to offer the response, "Prove me wrong. Do your own research. Or offer me resources that will allow further investigation."

We are limited in our resources. We have done the best with what's available. And this film is a final product which I will be proud of for the rest of my life. I have faith and a lot of hope. And I look forward to the future.

Most of all, I look forward to finally sharing this story with you on screen.

Heroes Homecoming

2011-10-01T08:58:00.001-04:00

This week I learned about Heroes Homecoming, a 10-day celebration of Vietnam Veterans to give them the welcome home that they didn't get 40 years ago. It sounds awesome, and it all leads up to Veterans Day 2011. Here's info from their website:

Fayetteville created HEROES HOMECOMING as our way of showing all Vietnam Veterans we remember and appreciate their courage, their sacrifice and everything they’ve done to defend our freedom – now and forever. American soldiers returning from Vietnam never received the homecoming they deserved, and Fayetteville wants to rectify that. We have a unique bond with all Vietnam Veterans, as our town was the point of departure and return for hundreds of thousands of soldiers.

As America’s First Military Sanctuary Community, we will give our brave Vietnam Veterans the welcome they so richly deserve. Fayetteville will host the Heroes Homecoming as the biggest commemoration/reunion of its kind for the 10 days leading up to Veterans Day 2011, featuring celebrations, discussions, fellowship, and memories for all those who attend.

A Love for Producing

2011-09-30T17:08:00.000-04:00

My love for making films started early. I can't remember the beginning, it's been there for so long. Is it possible to love filmmaking as a child, without really knowing anything about it? Hollywood and the process of making a film absolutely fascinated and intimidated me.

This week I met someone who made me remember my initial relationship with filmmaking, and helped me realize how much I've learned while making Abandoned Allies. He expressed an interest in filmmaking, but wasn't quite sure exactly what he wants to do in the industry. He had a huge smile when he talked about it, and an eagerness to get started. Oh boy, do I remember feeling like that.

As I approach a huge milestone in the production of my first film and I start to think about what I want to do next, my love for producing and directing is almost tangible. There are so many different stages of making a film, and each one is so different. I have really, really enjoyed getting a taste of it all: producing, directing, interviewing, camera operation, editing, motion graphics, etc.

It's when I'm producing and directing that I feel alive. At least, I think that's what those roles are called. They might mean something different to everyone.

I enjoy the collaboration, building of a team, picking a project, getting it going, getting it finished, being on set, building relationships, helping everyone do their job well, and being a part of the project from the beginning to the end. It will be interesting to experience another project where I may hone in on that and perfect any skills currently in development.

In the meantime, there's plenty of work to be done. This weekend will, hopefully, be the last one spent in the depths of editing video. If I can get all the clips in order the way I want them, then I can send audio files off, wrap up the end credits, and start working on color correction.

We are so close. I'm unbelievably anxious to share this film with you. The time is coming, my friends. Soon. Very, very soon.

Photos from #TriFilm

2011-09-30T07:39:00.000-04:00

Sumit, the man behind LoneRider!

Jarvis, who recently moved back to N.C., was totally cracking me up.

I wonder what's happening on that phone? I totally interrupted to take a pic. My bad.

Beth and Jim are probably talking about the film community. I love it.

LoneRider was the perfect location for such a laid back evening

#TriFilm / TFSIG Gathering

2011-09-28T21:00:00.000-04:00

Last night about 40 local film makers gathered to drink a beer and talk shop in the tasting room at the LoneRider Brewing Company. The evening was so fun.

Soon I should have more photos to share with you. It's delightful to be in a room full of people who are passionate about film making--and really great beer!

I'm incredibly grateful to the folks at LoneRider for letting us use their tasting room for the evening. Special thanks to Christin for helping set everything up, and tending bar last night. Congrats to LoneRider for being named one of North Carolina's 25 companies to watch by the Center for Entrepreneurial Development. (Read more about this on WRAL.com.) Also, big thanks to my fellow event organizers Jim McQuaid (@turnipvideo), Zach Abrams (@compcipher), and Matt Hayhurst (@matthayhurst).

Explaining the Filmmaking Process

2011-09-27T19:45:00.004-04:00

Compare the process of building a home to that of making a film. There are finishing touches that make it more aesthetically pleasing, like paint on a wall, base boards, shoe mold, and polished hardwood floors.

Recently I've explained the filmmaking process to the people in my life who are not familiar with it. This is an interesting position to be in, having no formal training in the art and business of making a film. I can only relate my personal experiences to help people in my life understand what I'm doing.

There are a few analogies that have helped me explain the process. The most successful, thus far, has been the comparison of making a film to building a single-family house. A home is a familiar concept. Lots of people have seen a home under construction, visited an existing home, or live in one of their own. So the comparison is a visual, familiar one that works relatively well--even if none of us are home builders.

There are many steps to building a house. Similarly, there are many steps to making a film. There are also lots of people involved, each with their own special set of skills. These people join the effort to do certain jobs, and when their part of the film making process is finished they move on. There's someone providing direction to everyone's efforts, overseeing the entire process, and making sure the work meets their standards.

Turns out, this comparison works pretty well. I spend a lot of time trying to explain what I'm doing to others because this part of the process is not often "seen" by audiences. I mean, when you watch a movie you don't often think about the editing, color, or sound--unless you're obsessive, in the business, or it is unsettling to you.

Since we're finalizing post-production, I say that we'd be working on things like baseboards, shoe mold, and paint if it were a house. These are all finishing touches that make the aesthetics of the home (or film) more pleasing. Once we have picture lock, we'll improve sound, correct color, and finalize motion graphics. Each helps tell the story and makes watching the film more pleasing--so that audiences can put their energy toward taking in new information, instead of being distracted by the quality of production.

Tangential info: This is similar in graphic design. People don't often "see" design, just as audiences don't often pay attention to color or sound unless it is unsettling. A person complains about design when it doesn't meet their needs: a menu that's illegible, road signs that mislead drivers, voter forms that fail, etc. There's a caveat, of course, because not all design is mean to be functional or even legible. David Carson, for example, said, "Don't mistake legibility for communication."

I've also found that by explaining the filmmaking process I'm getting a better understanding of it, and how I can make it more efficient. Working with my composer, for example, has taught us both that he should see the finished film so he can score certain segments.

What do you think? Does this comparison make sense, or do you have a better one? How do you explain your work so that it is more easily understood?

The Best Time for Video Editing

2011-09-24T11:48:00.001-04:00

Six o'clock on Saturday mornings have become the best time for editing.

The moments of most intense concentration and productivity for editing Abandoned Allies have become Saturday mornings starting at six o'clock. (To many of my friends, this is laughable. Why would anyone wake up so early--especially a Saturday?) I find these to be the quietest hours, and therefore the most productive.

It's become a ritual. I wake up early, tip toe to the kitchen to feed my dog and start the coffee, then tip toe back to my office to turn on my Mac. (Meanwhile my dog eats so loudly that tip toeing is rendered pointless.) While the coffee is brewing, I start Final Cut Pro. By the time the computer and software are up and ready to roll, my dog has finished eating and the coffee is hot and ready to wake me up. I lock myself in my office with my dog and the first cup of coffee.

Then it's time to work.

In these quiet hours, I am a video editing power house. My dog rests at my feet and eventually falls asleep. I own my little world while rrelentlessly editing video. Unstoppable. In the zone. Going full force without looking back.

It feels great to make progress on these early, quiet Saturday mornings.

For so long I have had a palpable disdain for editing video. Now I have what I need and I know what I'm doing. As a result, these quiet Saturday mornings are fruitful and enjoyable. I look forward to the time I can be selfishly alone, able to delve deep into the story and let all the other noise fade away. It's just me and the machine, with the perfect conditions for working.

So much of this project has been, well, really difficult. It's a weight I carry daily. A self-imposed pressure that others in my life have trouble understanding--and that's putting it lightly.

But I see this thing as a welcomed challenge. Can I do it? When will I finish it? How will it be received? How can I make the next film better and more efficiently?

It's very hard to do, this indie film thing. But on Saturday mornings, when I have the peace and quiet I need in order to finish it--it all seems like less of a challenge and more of a joy.

Doc Director Coming to Raleigh

2011-09-23T12:46:00.001-04:00

If you are interested in documentary films, Gary Hustwit (@gary_hustwit), director of Helvetica and Objectified, will be in Raleigh on Monday, November 7th for a special screening of his latest film Urbanized. Get more info (and tickets) here: http://urbanizedfilm.com/raleigh-durham-special-screening.

I'm really excited about this event because I heard Hustwit speak at Full Frame 2010 but was too nervous to get his autograph after the panel discussion. Looking forward to seeing his latest film, and hearing what he has to say.

Urbanized poster (source: urbanizedfilm.com)

Heavy Minds

2011-09-21T21:15:00.001-04:00

My mind has been particularly heavy these days, as the film draws to a close. I'm unsually lost in such deep thought that I have become awkward around others when I would normally be giddy and outgoing.

The weight of everything is tough, and that is typically something I keep hidden but I find it harder to disguise these days. It rarely does any good to talk openly about your personal struggles whilst trying to overcome them; it hasn't served me well, and I think it's particularly poor form when you are leading others. But keeping that cool exterior facade has grown too challenging.

That being said, not every day is as tough as these have been. I am always grateful for this opportunity, and all of the people making it possible. The challenges I face are insignificant compared to many things others face in this world.

But if you think on it, send positive thoughts my way. I feel very fragile these days.

There is very good news just around the bin, and I look forward to sharing that with you soon.

Well, hello, Health.

2011-09-14T20:33:00.001-04:00

Great news: I'm feeling so much better today.

For those of you new to this blog, the relevance between my personal health and the progress of Abandoned Allies might not be immediately obvious. Since I'm the producer, director, and editor of the hour-long film, it's fairly relevant. This is, after all, the diary of a documentary blog; a journal of how it came to life.

Today I attempted the first four mile run/walk since I got sick last week. It turned out to be mostly walking. These leg muscles are hating me but I feel like I'm likely to get my stride back again soon, especially since we'll get a break in the typical 90° weather by this weekend. Looks like a new season is on its way here in North Carolina.

Since I'm feeling much better, progress on the film is progressing quickly again. Annie Beth and I accomplished a lot over Labor Day weekend, so I feel we're in great shape. I have some tidying up to do now which means I need to fit B Roll to music and get picture lock, set up time to do color correction, wrap up all motion graphics, finalize end credits, and get our sound engineer going so we can normalize all audio. I'm grateful that we have a team moving these things along.

In the mean time, I'm also working with my marketing communications team to get things in order so that we have a smooth transition from post-production to distribution and promotions. This phase of the project will probably be drastically different, but I hope it'll be much more energizing. Editing has been so challenging.

Time to get back to it. More to come soon.

Health & Wellbeing. Ha.

2011-09-08T22:50:00.001-04:00

Well, I managed to get sick again. Tonight I'm drinking hot tea and Nyquil, hoping that tomorrow I won't sneeze my way through the day.

Wednesday morning I woke up hurting and exhausted. Tried driving to Durham but 10 minutes into it, decided that it wasn't a good idea. I almost caused several accidents because I was so out of it. The rest of the day involved soup, sleep, and a bunch of mindless movies.

Thankfully I'm on my way to feeling much better now. I better start feeling well soon. This will be a long weekend no matter what.

Take good care of yourself, my friends.

Delightful Progress

2011-09-05T21:10:00.001-04:00

This weekend turned out to be a huge success. Annie Beth and I were incredibly productive, and placed the entirety of the film's music.

As I prepare to rest tonight, I find myself very satisfied with the current state of the film. This is good thing.

It's become difficult to hide my frustration with the length of time it's taken to finish Abandoned Allies. My family, friends, and crew chide me regularly about it.

Most of the time I handle that well, but because I have grown weary it has gotten more and more difficult. I am especially disappointed in myself because Dr. Hickey and Rev. Long passed away before I could get the film finished. It saddens me deeply.

It has been a difficult road, working on the film but complaining gets me nowhere. I am not a fan of whining.

Besides, the level of supposed suffering on my account is laughable in comparison to the treatment of the Montagnards in Vietnam who are persecuted. News about such things is released regularly. It keeps my pity party in check but, more importantly, is my source of sense of urgency for ompleting the film--in hopes it may be a catalyst for change.

Once I get some rest, I shall share more details with you about placing music in the film.

Progress on Finalizing Music

2011-09-04T23:00:00.001-04:00

It's great to report that we are making excellent progress on finalizing the music in Abandoned Allies. My music superviser, Annie Beth, and I have been working on it since Saturday. I'm very grateful to her for sharing her Labor Day weekend with me. (Many thanks to her family for sharing AB'a time, too.)

For the first time in a long time, my frustrations have subdued. Tomorrow morning I hope to work on the final segment of the film, then tidy up the remaining bit of music.

AB has done a superb job in collecting music from independent artists. The selection of songs is most impressive.

More details to come.

Event for Triangle Filmmakers

2011-09-02T16:21:00.001-04:00

On September 28 from 5:30 to 7:30, people interested in filmmaking can come together for a locally crafted brew at LoneRider Brewing Company (near RDU): http://trifilmevent.eventbrite.com/.

The event is free. It is a collaborative effort among a few folks interested in beer and talking shop. We hope it offers filmmakers a chance to meet in real life, mingle, and eventually collaborate on projects.

When I started Abandoned Allies there were only two of us working on it. I knew so little about filmmaking. I struggled regularly. Over the years, though, I have met some really talented, passionate people who have saved my sanity and certainly helped make my film infinitely better.

Join us on September 28 at LoneRider Brewing Company to drink a beer and talk shop. We look forward to meeting you there, and learning more about what you're working on.

Farewell, August

2011-09-01T17:04:00.003-04:00

Today's the first day of September. Time to bid August adieu.

August was a tough month for me and the film. Because of the double-screening weekend in July I was really burned out. August became a month of recuperation. There were also personal things keeping me busy: birthdays to celebrate, family to visit, and some natural disasters.

I'm hopeful think September will be better. The weather is getting cooler so I have started running again, which always makes me healthier and happier. We're finalizing music on the film this weekend, which means we can launch straight into the final stages of post-production. Marketing, communications, and branding efforts are shaping up well.

The collaborative efforts that will happen after I finish the video editing are really keeping me going right now. The following months will seem a lot less lonely, and I'm looking forward to that. Editing video in a room by yourself (with your dog at your feet) gets to be pretty lonesome--especially if you're a social being like I am.

I'm having lots of conversations with really talented people who believe in the project, and that breath of fresh air is very needed at this point. To express my gratitude to all the people who have offered a hand, word of encouragement, or hug would take entirely too long. I'm one lucky woman to be surrounded by such amazing people.

There's always more to share than what I post here. So I'll do my best to keep sharing as often as I can. Stay tuned, friends. Thanks, always, for the support and encouragement.

Finalizing Music

2011-08-30T16:51:00.000-04:00

Great news: this weekend we're finalizing the music for Abandoned Allies. I'll be with Annie Beth, my music supervisor, for the better part of three days and I'm really looking forward to it.

That also means that this is my last week of making changes to the video. When I meet with Annie Beth this weekend, we'll start putting music in its final place and there will be no more major changes to the story line.

HURRRAH!

Stay tuned. More to come.

New Super 8 Footage

2011-07-28T21:33:00.000-04:00

Here's a photo of the Super 8 footage Surry shared with me. Most of it was covered
in a white mold or dust but wasn't so brittle that it got destroyed in the transfers.

In the past week, I have gotten several exciting emails about more B Roll that can be used in Abandoned Allies. As a result, I visited Skip Elsheimer of A/V Geeks (@AVGeeks) on Tuesday.

Working with Skip has made this part of the filmmaking process infinitely more fun. What was one of my biggest struggles has become one of my biggest joys. Knowing I have the help of an expert has been a huge relief.

Skip recently re-transferred the Super 8 footage that Surry shot during his time in Vietnam. When I visited Skip he skimmed through some of the newly transferred footage. It is BEAUTIFUL. The difference between the first and second transfers are amazing. Skip is such a pro.

Skip moderated one of the A&E IndieFilms Speakeasy Conversations titled One Foot in the Archives with archivist and filmmaker Rick Prelinger (@footage) at the 2011 Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham, N.C., last April. Listening to Skip and Rick talk about old films--the preservation, cataloging, and sharing of it--has made my interest in the subject grow exponentially. They speak with such love for studying old films, the people in them, and the art of archiving it successfully so that it can be shared.

Since Skip's been kind enough to transfer the Super 8 footage for Abandoned Allies, I recommended him to a Special Forces Vietnam veteran who has offered to share his footage with me for the film. Joe and I are meeting for coffee on Saturday morning for an introduction. I can't wait to see his footage in hopes that I might share it with you in Abandoned Allies.

This was a photo I took when I transferred the Super 8 film using Skip's machine
last year. It was really cool to finally do that with his expert assistance..

The journey with this Super 8 footage has been a long, challenging, and exciting one. Read some of my old blog posts if you want more background about it:

A Week and a Day (Jan. 31, 2009):
The 8mm Projector (Feb. 3, 2009)
Super 8 Kodachrome Film (Dec. 13, 2009)
Super 8 Adventures Continue (Dec. 19, 2009)
Super 8 Adventures Continue, Part 2 (March 17, 2010)
Transfers Complete! (June 10, 2010)
Getting Super 8 in Place (June 17, 2010)

A Great Many Thank Yous

2011-07-27T09:48:00.001-04:00

There are many people who helped make the recent private screenings of Abandoned Allies successful. I wish to extend a dear thanks to the many folks, including the people who are helping me make the film itself (too long a list to share here).

Here are just a few of the folks who helped me screen Abandoned Allies twice in one weekend, with more of our cast and one of our largest private audiences yet. I wish to thank:

Abandoned Allies Cast and Crew
Obviously there would be no film screening, if there weren't people helping make the film. The cast have shared so many hours with me to help me learn about the Montagnards, U.S. Special Forces, and Vietnam War. The crew has been incredibly supportive as well. Together, many of us have learned how to make a film. Both the cast and crew have been really patient as we strive to make Abandoned Allies a great film. To each of them, I owe a huge thanks.

Surry Roberts
He is the one who initially wanted to record the history depicted in Abandoned Allies, and has gone above and beyond in supporting the efforts to make the documentary film. Knowing I needed to focus on the film before we showed it, he coordinated logistics with our cast. He hosted the screening, provided snacks, and directed the conversation after the film.

Jack, Chris, and Jenny Spencer
These amazing folks were responsible for the delicious cupcakes, running the A/V equipment (mingling music, the big screen, playing the DVD, house lights, etc.), and setting up the club (putting out seats, tables, etc.). Big thanks to them for showing up earlier than expected, and allowing me to be completely relaxed because they were in control of logistics at the club. (Plus, they give the most amazing hugs. I love Spencer hugs!)

Jessi Nemeth
When I asked her to run concessions for Sunday's event, she said yes with no hesitation. She's one of the hardest working women I've ever met, and one of the most dedicated actresses, too. When she played a character in Chris Moore's film Flush With Fear, she rolled in the dirt and poured coffee on herself to make her costume authentic. If you bought a drink or snack at the screening, Jessi is the one who served you with a smile. (Big thanks to those who tipped her well, too!)

Jessi Nemeth was a character in Flush With Fear, and is one of
the hardest working ladies I know. She managed concessions
at the Abandoned Allies screening at ComedyWorx.

Elizabeth Jackson
EJ is a dedicated volunteer with Abandoned Allies, focusing on event planning. For the recent private screenings, she helped me think through event logistics ahead of time and kept me on schedule at the event. She kindly and gracefully scooted people from the lobby to the arena so we could start the film on time. She also helped me think of ways to collect feedback and take questions from the audience. I'm thrilled to start putting together more events once the film is finished, knowing she's there to help make it happen in style and excellence.

Elizabeth Jackson has been a long-time volunteer with Abandoned Allies, helping
us with planning events. She was a huge help with the screening at ComedyWorx

Brian Crawford (@BCwritr)

If you said something on camera at the screening event, you were talking into Brian's camera. He filmed the event and is creating a short video for the web. He's been willing to edit it all together, which takes a lot of time and effort. I really appreciate him being there. The footage is stunning, and I can't wait to share it with you. We're in post-production and working through a few things, but hope to have that online in the next few months.

Andy Poe helps Pam Ross with the mic, as Brian Crawford
prepares the camera for her interview.

Andy Poe, David Iversen and Mike Garske

You've already heard about the fellas at the Brite Spot Collaborative (related blog post), and Andy Poe is the one that introduced me to David Iversen and Mike Garske. They helped me finalize the film by exporting it from FCP and then burning it to DVDs. Andy had to remind me to breathe. David scanned through the timeline and fixed a few things I'd struggled with in editing. And all three of them joined me for a beer while the film exported. I owe them a huge thanks for their help because that process has given me a LOT of trouble in the past. Andy also helped Brian by wrangling people in to say something on camera at ComedyWorx, and I'm most grateful for it. These are top notch guys, dedicated to doing great work.

Jason Kelly
If you had your photo taken at the event, Jason was the man behind the camera. He met Brian Crawford and me at ComedyWorx the day before the screenings to scope out the place in order to get great photos (related blog post). Not only were the photos fun, beautifully lit, and exactly what I needed, they were also online almost immediately. He's a dear friend for helping me out, and I'm incredibly lucky to have such help.

Jason Kelly was our photographer, and put the photos online
immediately. Pam Ross took this shot for us, though!

Carole Watts
My ever-supportive, wonderful mom. She's been helping me make this film since the beginning, and just finally got to see the latest cut. She brought yummy brownies to the screening and even posed for a few pictures--she seriously hates being in pictures.

Other Unnamed Folks
There are a number of other folks who helped out, and I'm sorry for not naming each of you. Many of you made me so happy simply by showing up. And there's one guy in particular that has been unbelievably supportive. To him, and all of you, I owe a huge thanks.

Private Screening at ComedyWorx: Part II

2011-07-22T16:13:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I shared a bit about the private screening at ComedyWorx held on Sunday, July 17th. For those of you who weren't there, don't fret. We shall find plenty of opportunities to share Abandoned Allies.
It's really wonderful to finally share the film with the people I love--even thought it's not finished. They have watched me work on this thing for so long.

These are the folks I call when I am at a breaking point. They offer a shoulder to cry on and they consistently ask when they can see the film. These are important people in my life, and it was lovely to have so many of them in one building on a casual Sunday afternoon.

It is great to be surrounded (and supported) by people you love.

Working on a project like this is incredibly challenging. I'm surrounded by people that are supportive, though, and that is a rare thing for many artists. Sure, there are times where they seem upset that I've been putting so much energy into the film because it means we can't spend more time together. But I think, on the whole, they might understand a little better why this project is so important.

Every day since the screening, I have been lucky enough to get feedback from them on how to make Abandoned Allies better. It takes time, effort, and energy to share constructive criticism. The feedback we've gotten has been incredibly helpful, and I'm so thankful to all of the folks who have shared their thoughts on how to make improvements.

The conversations this week have been really enjoyable, and confirm that we're on the right track. I know there's a lot of work ahead of me, but I feel much more confident in how to do it now. That's a great feeling.

Here are more photos from the event, taken by the talented Jason Kelly. Enjoy!

The crowd gets an introduction to Abandoned Allies before it starts.

After the film we did a Q&A session. Composer Kyle Owen (@KyleDOwen) talked about
what it's like to figure out working together on the film's original compositions.

Jason Kelly was kind enough to be our event photographer. He did a great job!

Patrick Jones, Helen Hanna, and I are all from the same home town. Go Pam Pack!

Lea-Ann Berst was kind enough to join us. She's one impressive woman.

Big thanks to everyone who came to watch the film!

Private Screening at ComedyWorx: Part I

2011-07-21T18:21:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was a busy one, as I mentioned in previous blog posts (here, here, and here). It was a milestone weekend for Abandoned Allies, to say the least.

On Sunday, July 17, 2011, we showed the film to the largest crowd yet. I've already written about why I wanted to show the film this way--even though it's not finished. See the bulleted list on the blog post here.

This private event was for my special guests: family, friends, and my fellow ComedyWorx improvisers. This audience was entirely different than those I've previously invited to watch it. These are people who may not know the film's subject matter but have been willing to listen to me drone on and one about it. They have been incredibly supportive of my efforts. Some of them had not seen a snipet of it, and others have watched the latest cut of Abandoned Allies so many times they probably feel that watching the talking heads version was torturous.

I had no idea what to expect, but am very happy with the event and all of the feedback we've gotten since. Confession: numerous times throughout the weekend, I thought I'd made a huge mistake inviting people to see a film that's not yet finished. It's a scary thing to do.

Nevertheless, the event started at 2pm and a number of folks got there early. Everything ran so smoothly. We mingled first, then at 2:15 welcomed the audience. I introduced Abandoned Allies and then the film began. Nearly 60 minutes later, the film ended and a Q&A session began.

The event was a really, really helpful one. I'll write more about it soon. In the mean time, here are a few of the photos taken by Jason Kelly. Enjoy!

The crowd waiting to see Abandoned Allies mingles in the lobby at ComedyWorx.

Pam Ross puts on a mic with the help of Andy Poe while
Brian Crawford (@BCwritr) prepares the camera for her interview.

After the film, I took questions from the audience because I needed
to know what was on their minds after watching Abandoned Allies.

Saturday, July 16, 2011: Part II

2011-07-20T17:20:00.000-04:00

When I saw this sticker on the back of a car, I knew
I was in the right location for the screening.

On Saturday, July 16, 2011, at 5pm, we shared the latest cut of Abandoned Allies with more of our cast members. It was a delightful but difficult and long day. I really enjoyed having our cast in the same room. I look forward to celebrating with them all together when the film is finished.

At the private screening, the cast shared feedback that was incredibly helpful. I wrote down notes about the pieces of the film that bother me, and jotted down suggestions from the cast afterwards. We had an in-depth talk about the film, what we want to do with it, and why it has been put together in such a way.

Surry and I shared our mission for the film: raising awareness. We can't make any promises bigger than that, but we want to share this particular story with those willing to listen. This is not a political film with a heavy agenda, but one that explores a segment of American history that has previously gone unnoticed.

As I explained to my family and friends on Sunday, you can't walk into just any book store and pick up a book on the subject. Believe me, I've tried. The books I read to learn about it were written by most of our cast members, many of which are hard to find. If you're willing to put forth a bit of effort, though, they can be located. For example, one of our cast member just put together something he's selling on Amazon about the Jarai tribe.

Every time I chat with some of our cast members, like on Saturday, they stress the importance of showing people the truth of what's happening today in the Central Highlands of Vietnam. They relay stories of pain, suffering, and death happening in their homeland at the hands of the Communists because they were our allies. They want to use the film to tell the world that their people are in trouble.

So there were some interesting conversations on Saturday, some of which pained me greatly. I can only imagine that these folks are totally outraged because their people are suffering--but they sit calmly by me and tell their stories. They are working hard to be heard, share their story, and keep their culture alive but I imagine they feel like no one is listening.

I'm not sure if they are openly suspicious about me, but I feel they are looking for signs that I am, actually, trustworthy. It's like they want to know that I really will use the film will raise awareness. That I actually am grateful for their time. That they should, really, continue to buy in to the project and the hope that it will do any good. Perhaps I am sensing something that's not really there, but I can almost feel it hanging in the air.

It's as if they want to know that I am not using their story to start a film career, make a buck or two, and then vanish into thin air afterwards. And if they are thinking that, can you blame them since that's what happened in the early 1970s?

These things are never spoken, mind you, but I am sensitive to it because they've been wronged so many times. I don't want to promise anything I can't guarantee delivery on later. They've been marginalized and ignored for so many years. Why would anyone--especially some young Southern girl who is as ignorant as I am--actually give a damn about helping?

Who would still have hope after that long? What could I possibly do to make a difference now? I'm just some kid making a film for the first time. The list of things I don't have is a long one, but my blood, sweat, and tears are invested in Abandoned Allies so I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon. It's hard to say that, so I'd rather just show it by forging on and continuing to build a friendship with them if I can.

It's really hard to ask someone for just a little more patience. Just a little more hope. Just a little more of their time so that I can get the story straight. Especially when I have nothing to offer them in return.

So, yeah, Saturday was a really challenging day.

Saturday, July 16, 2011: Part I

2011-07-19T15:56:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned yesterday, this past weekend was a long one! We packed so much into one weekend that I'm covering it in several blog posts this week.

Saturday, July 16, 2011 was a busy day. I managed to get a lot of sleep the night before, so that was divine. I woke up well rested--not a familiar feeling these days. I also got to do my usual run, which has been rare because of the heat.

Running is really important to me. It's my time to process everything. Being in shape makes life so much more enjoyable. In the past two months, though, it's gotten too hot to run. I have decided to look for a gym but haven't found the right one yet. (I'm really picky.) So when we had a "cool front" come through last weekend--lowering temps from about 100°F to around 88°F--I was truly thrilled to go running!

Therefore, I had a great start to such a challenging day. Huge win. I know these two things seem so unrelated to Abandoned Allies, which is why I don't talk about it much here. It's important, though, because it means I can handle the things that go with finishing Abandoned Allies and this past weekend was particularly crucial.

At three o'clock on Saturday, I went by the IMAX theater to pic up my camera battery and charger. I accidentally left it there last weekend while shooting pictures of the Volcano Girl screening (related blog post). The theater was packed with people waiting to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. It was so crowded, and some folks were dressed up as characters.

The entire space at IMAX was alive, loud, and filled with excitement. What a great time to stop in for such a simple thing. As I walked out, I marveled at the excitement brought on by a film. How apropos.

Immediately after that, I met two of my guys at ComedyWorx to prepare for the private screening happening the following afternoon. Brian Crawford (@BCWritr) and Jason Kelly both offered to help me capture the screening on Sunday.

Brian Crawford and Jason Kelly met me at ComedyWorx
to prepare for the screening on Sunday.

How lucky can a girl get to have two photographers willing to show up on a Saturday afternoon to get prepared for an event the following day? That's the sign of a good camera guy / gal: someone willing to put in the extra effort, visit a location, study the lighting, test some shots, and think about what they want to capture before the event happens. I love it.

The site visit only took a few minutes, and we scooted out as the matinee show started. The club was packed which is always good to see. By the way, if you go see shows at ComedyWorx, please let me know and tell me what you thought, eh?

Immediately after the visit with Brian and Jason, I went straight to the next appointment: screening the film with more of our cast members. When I pulled up, I saw a Special Operations Association (SOA) sticker on the back of a car and immediately knew I was in the right place. That's a great feeling.

The screening took a few hours: to get set up, show the film, and talk about it afterwards. Since so much happened that afternoon/evening, I'm going to continue breaking it down into different blog posts. You'll hear about that screening tomorrow, mk?

Big, big thank you to both Brian Crawford and Jason Kelly for meeting me on Saturday to prepare for Sunday's event. I have many more thank yous and details about the weekend to come. Stay tuned!

A Very Successful Weekend

2011-07-18T11:35:00.001-04:00

Last weekend was a huge success, and there are many details to share.

I'm still recovering from the hustle and bustle, but plan on sharing more information throughout this week. It amazes me that two days should be broken down into a week's worth of blog posts because so much transpired. The long and short of it? We had two private screenings of Abandoned Allies in one weekend.

Saturday night we shared the film with more of our cast members. Sunday afternoon we shared the film with one of our largest audiences yet: my family and friends.

This weekend was so wonderful. I desperately needed to share the film because

I see problems with a few things in it
I don't have a good ending yet
I am learning all of this on my own and need constructive criticism
I need to feel the energy in the room while the film is on screen
I want to hear what thoughts people have after it because I won't always be with the film to answer questions and don't want people to walk away terribly confused

More details to come. It was an unforgettable weekend. I am delighted to start sharing the film with people, even though it's not totally finished.

Stay tuned!

After the latest cut of Abandoned Allies screened at ComedyWorx,
I took questions from my family and friends. I'll use those questions
to help make the film better and possibly for FAQs on the website.
Photo credit: @AshleyMaria

This Weekend

2011-07-15T16:17:00.000-04:00

This weekend is going to be amazing. We are sharing the latest cut of Abandoned Allies with the cast on Saturday afternoon / evening, and then with another private group on Sunday afternoon. I am thrilled!

The film isn't finished yet, but we're getting closer and closer all the time. We will continue tweaking the end of the film, finalize music, mix sound, color correct, and complete the end credits in the next two months. I hope to have the film finished by this fall, if all goes according to plan.

If I've learned one thing: setting hard deadlines like screening events is incredibly motivating to get the film finished. It forces me to stop tweaking and be done with it, and helps motivate my team to get it totally finished. I think we are all ready to be finished with it so that we can share it.

Therefore, I hope to immediately set a date for a more public screening this fall. Stay tuned on that, folks.

The events for this weekend have helped me, once again, appreciate the many people who have helped with Abandoned Allies over the years. It's incredible to take stock of so many folks, each so willing to help out. (Perhaps they take pity on me for working on such a huge project with no prior experience?) I've been so lucky to meet and work with such interesting, passionate people. I just love North Carolina, and all of my fellow filmmakers. The collaboration is wonderful.

So, I've gotta buckle up because this weekend is going to be a wild ride. Thankfully, though, the film has been exported and the DVDs have been burned. We share the film at two private screenings this weekend. Wish us luck!

Volcano Girl Screening at IMAX

2011-07-13T11:40:00.000-04:00

Volcano Girl, a film about a super hero who gets fired, screened at the Wells Fargo IMAX Theatre at Marbles in downtown Raleigh, N.C., last Sunday afternoon. It is a short film directed by the talented and funny Ashley Maria. She's a grad student at the University of Southern California studying Film & Television at the School of Cinematic Arts.

Watching a film in the IMAX theatre with the filmmaker and screenwriter is an incredible feeling. In fact, just watching an independent film in such a fabulous theater is amazing. I'm so glad the folks at IMAX at Marbles were willing to work with a "local" filmmaker (she's still in school in LA but is from the area). Part of making a film is sharing it with people, and doing so in that location is just drool-worthy.

After her two films played, Ashley Maria did a Q&A session. She talked about what happened behind the scenes while making Friday Night Fright and Volcano Girl. The latter is her thesis film since she's graduating this December.

Ashley Maria has a blog titled Life as a Film Student. She's quite talented, and I'm really looking forward to seeing what she does next. Check out the Volcano Girl website for more info on the film.
Here are some photos I took at the event. Enjoy!

Ashley Maria, director of Volcano Girl, with Jan Delory

Josh Eiserike, Volcano Girl screenwriter, and Ashley Maria talk about their film.

Lea-Ann Berst (proud mom, talented marketer) and Ashley Maria wait for the film to start.

The poster on display in the lobby of the IMAX Theatre at Marbles in downtown Raleigh, N.C.

Point of View: Distinctly Yours

2011-06-28T16:13:00.000-04:00

While making Abandoned Allies, I have struggled a lot with point of view (POV). This is unusual for me, as point of view is rather easily established when writing (a space in which I am quite comfortable).

There are two very distinct possibilities for this film: American and Montagnard point of views. I have tried making the film heavy on one end or the other, as well as keeping it balanced among the two. It recently occurred to me, though, that I can legitimately only have one POV.

This is a film about the Montagnard-American relationships, but it is made by me--an American. While it would be lovely to make a film from the Montagnard perspective, this is not that film. I could produce that film and maybe event direct it--but this is not that film.

This is a great lesson for me, as a first-time filmmaker. When you make a film, it will be distinctly yours. I feel like since I'm an American--and I'm the one at the helm--this thing has to be distinctively an American POV.

I could be wrong about all of this (being such a noob), but I feel like this decision brings a considerable amount of peace to me as a filmmaker.

I've struggled with balancing the POV versus
making it disctinctly one or the other.

If I were from the highlands of Vietnam (like the Montagnards), this would surely would be a very different film. Perhaps that film will be developed one day. But right now, Abandoned Allies is an American POV and I'm quite alright with that now.

Filmmakers, Be Good to Yourselves

2011-06-24T14:04:00.001-04:00

Making a film is incredibly challenging. I have talked with many local, indie filmmakers and it seems pretty common to put passion for filmmaking before being healthy. So today's post is brief: filmmakers, be good to yourselves. Here are a few simple ways to do it.

Filmmakers, Be Good to Yourselves

Eat well.
Don't eat too much. Eat plenty of fruits and veggies. Don't eat too much fast food. Buy stuff from the local farmer's market. Learn to cook. Stock your fridge like a vending machine so you always have a healthy option.
Remember to relax.
Spend quality time with family and friends. Drink some wine. Do something that has nothing to do with films like sailing, swimming, or golf. Find your way to relax, and do it often.
Get at least eight hours of quality sleep each night.
You may pretend you need less than eight hours a night, but very few people actually do. Allow yourself the luxury of enough quality sleep. Fight for it. You'll think better, be healthier, make decisions faster, and eat a less.
Exercise every day, even if it's just walking.Don't sit behind the camera or at your computer too long. Get up, walk around your block for a while, and come back to what you were working on. Eventually add a little jog. When that's no longer challenging, start running faster, join a gym, or lift weights. Exercise. Everything works better when you're in great shape.
Drink plenty of water.Do whatever it takes to make drinking lots of water convenient and easy to do. It's worth it. You'll feel the difference. Plus, if you're a starving artist, choosing water while dinning out will save you money because it is almost always free.

These are things I recommend because once I started doing them, I felt infinitely better. Feeling healthier made me happier, and allowed me to work faster and better.

Don't sacrifice your health for your passion for filmmaking. Be patient, and take the time to be in good health. I think you'll make better films because of it.

The Prologue

2011-06-23T17:13:00.000-04:00

The Vietnam War happened nearly 40 years ago. Many people, like me, could tell you very little about it. I knew two facts when I first started working on Abandoned Allies: (1) the war wasn't supported by the American public like WWII was, and (2) it lasted longer than any other war in our country's history.

Since I knew so little about the war when I started working on this film, it was tough for me to make sense of how the Montagnards began fighting with the U.S. Special Forces. For years I have felt like going into details about it during the film would take too long. It was the setting, and therefore we shouldn't dwell on it. It just wasn't key to telling the story succinctly.

Now that I'm sharing the film with small audiences, I see the need for more backstory shared in a way that people can easily process it before interview clips start coming on screen. There are very basic details that need to be shared to set the stage a bit better before we jump in.

Therefore, for the past week I have been adding a prologue. It's been a challenge. I know just enough to be dangerous now, and it's hard to distill down facts so that the audience can absorb it quickly.

For example, I want to say that the war started during a certain year so that people have an idea of where this story started. But to say that the Vietnam War started during a certain year excludes so much information. Just that particular name makes it an American perspective versus a global perspective. (It has different names in other places like the Vietnam Conflict or Second Indochina War.) It also excludes so much of the conflict that happened before the United States started supporting South Vietnam militarily. It also could be argued that the war started during a different year. Did it start with military advisers or when combat troops arrived or when the first battles took place?

The truth is, those are the specifics that derail the entire film. They're important to setting the stage, but they aren't all that important to telling this particular story. What matters most is that Americans started coming to Vietnam during the mid-1950s, the highlands were key to a military victory, and the highlands have been home to the Montagnards for thousands of year, and that's where these friendships began to take shape.

Who knew writing a few introductory sentences could be so difficult?

I'm doing the best I can. I know that the people who know these specifics may argue about it all, no matter what I choose to include. As a filmmaker, though, I have do to my best to inform the audience of certain details while simultaneously entertaining them.

While I have gotten stuck in the weeds, I don't want my audience burdened with such information. I want them to know these few facts so that they have an idea of where we are in history, and how these pieces fit together so that they can then enjoy the story as it unfolds.

The prologue is only about a minute long, with just a few sentences to set the stage. It's taken about a week or two to get it in place, but I think it works well. I just want audiences to love these people as much as I have come to love them. I hope that I can take viewers on the same emotional journey I've been on while learning these things. And I hope, with all my heart, that this tiny little project might lead to some very big changes for the better.

Quotes from Todd Phillips

2011-06-22T15:12:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I told you how refreshing it was to talk with Andy Poe, David Iversen, and Mark Garske about filmmaking. Part of my conversation with Andy over brews was about how filmmakers talk about filmmaking. He suggested that I listen to The Treatment, and I've been enjoying it.

So far I have listened to Kevin Smith (Red State), Paul Feig (Bridesmaids), Joel McHale (Community), and Greg Mottola (Paul). Each person's name links to the interview, should you want to listen to them as well. I really love listening to the podcast while I'm driving. It's so much fun to hear filmmakers talk about what they do and how much they love it.

This morning I listened to Elvis Mitchell interview Todd Phillips (The Hangover Part II).

Photo from ScreenJunkies.com.

Phillips commented on making documentaries during his interview. Since I'm working on a documentary (and this blog is about said adventure), I thought it appropriate to share some of his statements. What I appreciated were his thoughts on directing a documentary and how that influences the point of view. Enjoy:

"I always felt like, what is a documentary director? How do you direct something if not by instilling your point of view?"

"No one else could’ve made this film. It was made by a director. Otherwise you’re just a documentary producer."

"You learn how to make movies in editing documentaries. I mean, Martin Scorcese use to edit documentaries. It is where you learn what writing is, what a first act is, how things flow. I mean, really, it’s just … you learn more from editing a documentary, I think, than anything you can do as far as starting out in film."

-Todd Phillips, producer

Friday with Fellow Filmmakers

2011-06-21T11:17:00.004-04:00

Last Friday afternoon, I met up with fellow filmmaker Andy Poe of boulder mountain filmworks in Raleigh, N.C. We met at a filmmakers networking event held at Trailblazer Studios in early December 2010.

Triangle folks met at Trailblazer Studios to chat about filmmaking in December 2010.

As usual I was one of the last to leave the networking event because I'd been running my mouth too much. I had accidentally left my big, knee-length Chicago coat behind. I had to retrieve it from the large, dark stage at the back of the Trailblazer Studios which had previously been bright, and full of conversations and introductions. The building had become cold and creepy since it emptied out.

I was afraid to go into the pitch-black studio because I'm terribly clumsy and would most certainly break something expensive while stumbling around in the dark. I was also scared. The atmosphere had changed so drastically that it felt like the beginning of a horror film: a happy idiot willingly enters a dark room and gets gruesomely murdered by some treacherous, evil thing. Such a death would have been too scripted, and I could not let that happen.

So I turned and asked Andy to lend me some brave assistance. He used his cell phone to help me find my coat in the dark, and I've been forever grateful.

Andy loves telling unusual stories. He can do the corporate web video, but seems especially attracted to a project that will get him outside or on an adventure. It reminds me of the adventurous girl I faintly remember being; the one who was always out sailing, swimming, hiking, or camping.

Andy works out of Brite Spot Collaborative, which is a coworking space similar to Designbox (where I was lucky enough to work for about 30 days thanks to Jon Williams of shovemedia). The collaborative space is close to downtown Raleigh (off of Peace Street, a few blocks from Glenwood South), and is home to a few filmmakers.

Andy introduced me to David Iversen and Mike Garske, and we watched a joint demo reel. Beautiful footage, I must say. (You, too, can watch it here.) Talking to people who are passionate about their craft is incredibly rewarding. We are all nit-picky because we want to show our best work. Those are great people to hire, for sure.

Here are some photos of the Brite Spot space ... makes a girl dream, eh?

Sound booth

Edit bay

Lighting studio (foreground) and meeting space (in background)

After we watched some of their work, Andy and I walked down the street for a beer.

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy locally-brewed beers? While Andy and I chatted on the patio, I sipped on a seasonal ale from Mother Earth Brewing. As luck would have it, my fellow ComedyWorx improvisers walked by and I got to say hello. Stuff like that makes me feel like I'm in a small town, which makes me quite happy.

To say the least, last Friday started the weekend off right. Chatting with fellow filmmakers is delightful. I need more conversations like this because it helps me stay energized, enthusiastic, and optimistic.

Making a film--no matter the length--is a challenge. It's really wonderful to talk with others who are passionate about what they do, and want to do it really well. I absolutely love this collaborative form of art.

The past year has been especially tough, and I needed a little uplifting last week. Working on a project as big as Abandoned Allies is challenging for so many reasons. It was wonderful to drop the tough act for a while, and confess how tough it is to fellow filmmakers who understand.

The weekend was packed full of film-related goodness. More on what happened later. Thanks, always, for the encouragement, my friends. Talk to you soon.

Great Links
Brite Spot Demo Reel
Andy Poe: boulder mountain filmworks
David Iversen: One Stop Web Video
Mike Garske on Vimeo

Call for Volunteers: Private Event in July

2011-06-16T11:26:00.001-04:00

Next month we will have one of the largest screenings of Abandoned Allies yet, thanks to the kindness of Richard Gardner, owner / operator of ComedyWorx in Raleigh, N.C. The sneak peek of the film is open to ComedyWorx improvisers (and my special guests) only, as a way of thanking them for the consistent encouragement during this production.

Because nearly 30 people have already RSPV'd for the event, I am in need of volunteers.

You see, I dream big. This will be an informal event, but there are things I hope might take shape. Would you (or someone you know) like to help out? Here are the positions to be filled:

EVENT PHOTOGRAPHER
A very talented event photographer willing to work two hours is needed. Someone who is well-versed in photographing people (both candid and posed) in dimly lit ares would be ideal. The event will last about two hours, but the photographer(s) will be able to rest while the film is screening.

EVENT FILMMAKER
One or more filmmakers willing to record the beginning and ending of the event are needed. The goal is to create a three-minute video for the web, showcasing the event and building excitement about the Abandoned Allies. We're after stablishing shots, sound bites from attendees, and shots that show the fun of a film premiere here in the Triangle.

EVENT DESIGNER
Someone who can help take charge of creating a fun, memorable environment would be incredibly awesome. The blog Hostess with the Mostess comes to mind, so scope out their photos. I use the term designer instead of planner because I want support in creating a program, cute little things for guests to take home, table decorations, and perhaps a guest book. We have an event planner on board (yay!), so we want someone to create those little details that make an event great.

If you, or someone you know, is interested in helping out in one of these roles, please fill out the comments on this blog or tweet @cammicam.

Thanks to all of you for the encouragement. We'll have a more public event later this year. Looking forward to sharing Abandoned Allies with you all very soon!

Jim, Save My Sanity

2011-06-15T10:41:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I mentioned that we're showing the film to Lap and his family this weekend. I am nervous about it. Sharing the film means I have to export it and burn a DVD, and a ton of things usually go wrong along the way.

One of my weaknesses is the lack of technical expertise. I read books and watch online tutorials, but sometimes things just don't work out. I am so grateful to have friends willing to explain it and teach me when I can't figure it out on my own.

Yesterday, fellow filmmaker Jim McQuaid (@turnipvideo) of Turnip Video was kind enough to come to my rescue after reading that the export process takes me so long. He visited my office to analyze the exporting process I'm currently using (hardware, software, etc.), and gave me some excellent ideas for improvements so I don't lose four days every time I try to export the film and burn a DVD. I'm a wee bit frustrated with it taking so long.

We chatted for a bit and came to the conclusion that my equipment is horribly outdated. That's mostly likely why it takes too long.

I'm working on a late model G5 which doesn't have enough internal memory to handle a big project like Abandoned Allies. The film is about 60 minutes long. The project file is full of HD, standard def footage, and archival footage--all in many different forms and frames per second. Uhm, so yeah. It's a beast of a project on a struggling system.

We scoffed at my 12" monitor after looking at the other hardware. The monitor is laughably small for video editing. Two large monitors would help me work more efficiently. I keep meaning to search for a good deal on one, but that's tough to do while I'm so desperately trying to finish the film. It's not absolutely necessary, so I just keep my nose to the grindstone.

Now I face a decision. It is not too different, I feel, from the decision one makes regarding a vehicle in need of repair. If the repairs on the older vehicle will cost a few grand, is it worth doing? What's the value of the vehicle versus the cost of repair? Is it better to buy a new one?

I have an older system, which is salvageable but might just cost as much as getting a new one. So, these thoughts swarm around the back of my mind while I edit. Now I also face even bigger questions. How serious am I about filmmaking? Do I want to make another indie film? If so, do I want to be the one editing it? Could I, instead, find someone else to do the editing, someone who has already invested in the equipment? Would this allow me to focus on producing and directing, so that I can perfect those skills?

My mind is constantly going, but there's no time to think on these things too long right now. All of my effort is going towards finishing the film so we can share it this fall and submit it into film festivals. I think I'll just limp along and hope to make it to the finish line as soon as we can.

After Jim and I finished the task at hand, we talked about a number of other film-related things. It's so wonderful to talk shop. It's encouraging to hear about Jim's projects, and what he enjoys. He is an incredibly smart and kind man, doing a number of interesting things right now.

Jim is working on Grace Running, a film about a 14-year old girl named named Grace (played by Sydnei Murphy). The young lady starring in his film is absolutely gorgeous. I hope Jim will let me lend a hand at some point on the production.

Jim also runs the Triangle Filmmakers Special Interest Group (TFSIG), which is a "mailing list and occasional meeting of dedicated local indie filmmakers." If you're in the area and want to introduce yourself to other filmmakers, TFSIG is a great way to do that.

Big thanks to Jim and his support and encouragement. More to come as we hustle to get this thing finally finished!

Private Screenings Continue

2011-06-14T10:50:00.000-04:00

Scheduling of private screenings of Abandoned Allies continues. To say this is exciting for me is a gross understatement. We've been working on the film for years, and I'm finally able to start sharing it with people in intimate settings where we get honest, constructive criticism.

This weekend I'll share the film with Lap and his family. I can't wait to hear what they think of it and their insights on ways to make improvements. Lap and his father are both in the film, and make such poignant statements.

Next week I'm hoping to share Abandoned Allies with Hip, his family, and his friends. Hip is also in the film, and is very passionate about sharing/preserving the Montagnard culture. He seems really excited about having a copy of it.

A larger private screening is scheduled for next month. This one is for my fellow improvisers at ComedyWorx in Raleigh, N.C. My fellow improvisers have all been so supportive of this project by volunteering their time, expertise, and encouragement. The sneak peek is a small way of saying thank you to them and offering the first Q&A with a larger audience. It'll be interesting to show a very serious documentary to a group of people who love comedy. It is a very smart, dynamic crowd.

Work on the film continues. I have to finish adding B roll, tweak the ending, finalize music, and mix sound. When those things are done, we will do color correction. Then we'll work on the trailer and start branding/marketing/communications. We will look into film festival submissions and plan local events, too.

The next six months are going to be one wild ride. I can't stop smiling.

10 Things I've Learned: Part III

2011-06-13T16:16:00.000-04:00

Last week I posted 20 things I have learned while working on Abandoned Allies, and I promised you a third installment. Without further ado...

10 More Things I've Learned

1. Take excellent care of yourself.
Like they said on Baywatch, you can't save someone else's life if you're drowning. You may not be saving lives while making your first film, but you won't be any good to others if you're drowning in the process. Take good care of yourself: eat well, rest plenty, exercise. Remember these basics so you can perform at your peak like an athlete.

2. Celebrate milestones.
Take the time to appreciate and celebrate your achievements. Set small, realistic goals so you get excited about reaching them and moving on to the next one.

3. Take vacations.
Drop the film. Get out of town. Spend time with family and friends. Then come back to it refreshed, and you'll find that you can accomplish a lot more.

4. Read voraciously.
Become a consumer of information. Everything is related, even if it doesn't seem so on a surface level. Learn at every turn, and connect the lessons.

5. Watch lots of films.
Watching other films helps you think about how you're making your own. Watch plenty of them, even if you feel you don't have time for it.

6. Have an opinion on other films.
People will start to see you as a filmmaker. Have opinions about other films because that will be your industry, plus it makes conversations interesting and exciting.

7. Share great films with others.
When you find a great film, share it with others so they can enjoy it, too. Your recommendations will stick with others, and soon they'll associate you with something they enjoyed. Positive associations are excellent.

8. Forget about filmmaking.
Do something other than filmmaking because it will help you become a better filmmaker. It will work other parts of your brain, make conversations more dynamic, and give you a point of reference to others unexpectedly.

9. Find peace.
When you are at peace, you can do much more, and do it much better, than when you have discord in your life. Do what you can to find peace and establish balance.

10. Remember to enjoy yourself.
Making a film will be tough, but it's important to enjoy each step. It's a process of discovery, and a path unlike any other. Be sure you're not focused on the end result so much that you forget how to have a good time along the way.

10 Things I've Learned: Part II

2011-06-09T16:21:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I posted 10 things I've learned while working on Abandoned Allies, and today I'll share with you 10 more. The musings are, hopefully, good for other first-time filmmakers.

10 More Things I've Learned

1. Prepare your family.
Families appreciate being prepared for your new adventure. Prepare them for how your life might change, and take them along for the ride. Consider yourself lucky if you have a really supportive family.

2. Prepare your friends.
Repeat #1 with your friends.

3. Your relationships may change.
Pursuing your dreams may cause your relationships to change. The ways / reasons they change are numerous because that's just part of life, but be aware that the decision to make your first film may be a catalyst for change in some of your relationships.

4. Find a mentor.
Managing your time, relationships, responsibilities, and energy will become increasingly difficult. Amidst a whirlwind of activity, you need a sound voice of reason. Someone who can serve as a mentor to you--both professionally and personally--is a really wonderful thing. Should you be so lucky to find someone, treat them with respect. Always honor their time, life experiences, and the feedback they share.

5. Hire a coach.
If you can afford it, hire a great career coach. Family, friends, and mentors may provide a wealth of advice and knowledge but a professional will likely have an unbiased opinion and few hidden motives. They also ask key questions and speak the truth in a way that you can hear it.

6. Ask for help.
Once you start talking about making your first indie film, people may find it interesting enough to lend a hand. Take them up on the offer to help. Give them specifics on what you need, and how they can support the efforts. Always say thank you.

7. Build a team.
Filmmaking is a collaborative art. Don't do it alone. Build a team of people willing to work with you on your first project. Barter, trade, or pay them what you can to build a solid team.

8. Work with the best.
Work with the best, most flexible, reliable, trustworthy, and supportive people you can find and afford. Get to know them, their interests, and their families. (I count myself so lucky in this regard.)

9. Don't trust everyone.
You may, unfortunately, encounter people unworthy of your trust. Do your best to find out early--before the stakes get too high--that a person is unworthy of your trust. Ask around to learn of some one's character, and then find out for yourself if the person's reputation is accurate. You owe it to everyone involved with your project to work with only the most trustworthy people.

10. Be honorable.
Do your best to be an honorable leader. Everyone stumbles and makes mistakes, but do your best every day to be worthy of leading a large production.

TOMORROW
In the last installment of the series, I'll share 10 more things I've learned while working on Abandoned Allies. What do you think about the first 20 lessons shared? Care to add to them?

10 Things Things I've Learned: Part 1

2011-06-08T13:13:00.000-04:00

In light of having another birthday to celebrate this Friday, I'm sharing 30 things I've learned while working on Abandoned Allies in a three-part series. My hope is that sharing these lessons will help another indie filmmaker complete their first project with, perhaps, a little less stress.

Here are the first 10 things I've learned, in no particular order.

1. Make a plan.
If you don't know where you're going, how will you get there? Make a plan for making your first film. It may change regularly, but that's to be expected. Having a plan will keep you focused on the tasks at hand so you can finish your film.

2. Prepare for a marathon, not a sprint.
Making a film often takes lots of time and effort. How long do you think the project will take? Multiply that by three. Now you have a more accurate picture of how long you'll likely spend on this film. Prepare for the long-haul, then be pleased when you finish it sooner.

3. Find a way to pay the bills.
If filmmaking is not paying your bills then find a good way to earn an income while working on your first film. Seek a job that eases your financial burden, helps you learn about filmmaking, and gives you the peace of mind to finish the project you started.

4. Downsize your monthly expenses.
Depending on your plan and financial situation, you may need to downsize your monthly expenses. Take stock of your spending, create a budget, and iidentify luxury items you can cut. You'd be surprised at how much you can save.

5. If you want to do it, you're more likely to get it done.
Things you want to do tend to get done faster and with greater ease. Pay attention to these things as you work. Focus your energy on the things you enjoy.

6. Even if you don't want to do it, do it anyway.
We can edit out boring parts in films, but not real life. There are plenty of things you would rather not do, but sometimes you have to do it anyway. Do it and move on.

7. Guard your time.
There are only 168 hours in a week, and how you use them is up to you. Guard your time and don't waste it. Meticulously count how you spend these hours each week, and find ways to use them more efficiently.

8. Guard your energy.
Just as you guard your time, guard your energy because you'll get burned out. Learn what drains your energy. Then find someone who enjoys that work and ask them for help. Similarly, figure out what gives you energy and do that frequently.

9. Prepare for chaos.
Making your first film will be challenging. Prepare for the chaos you've just invited into your life. Remove distractions, decrease stresses, avoid nay-sayers, organize your personal space, etc.

10. Enjoy the ride.
Making your first film can be really stressful, but enjoy the journey. You'll learn a lot, make new friends, challenge yourself, and accomplish something quite big. Don't be so focused on the future that you miss the present. What you're doing is pretty amazing, so be sure you pause to enjoy it.

TOMORROW
The series continues tomorrow with another 10 things I've learned while working on Abandoned Allies. Stay tuned, and share some things you've learned in the comments below.

The Late Rev. Charles Long

2011-06-08T10:52:00.002-04:00

Rev. Charles Long in Vietnam with a group of Montagnards from his church.

When I first met Rev. Charles and EG Long it was May 24, 2008, at their home in Raleigh, N.C., to interview them for Abandoned Allies and I was fraught with worries when I showed up.

Charles and EG were my first on-camera interviews for the film, and I felt likely to make tragic mistakes while I was there. My lack of knowledge about filmmaking and the subject matter felt as weighty as the humidity outside. The temperatures were up in the 90s--even in May--and the humidity made it worse.

But inside their home, the atmosphere was much different.

Charles, a tall and slender man, led me inside where he introduced me to his smiling wife, EG. It was cooler inside. Calmer. Full of grace, understanding, and forgiveness of my inexperience.

We chatted about the film, how they could help, and how to use the next few hours. They showed me areas in their home to use for the interview. They led me to a treasure trove of photographs and artifacts. Their home looked like that of proud parents with photos of their children (and their children's children) displayed throughout.

I set up my borrowed camera equipment, and the interview began. They shared their story of falling in love, getting to know God, becoming missionaries, and the decision to move to a country no one seemed to have heard about yet: Vietnam. It was a long flight to the other side of the world, but they would end up living there for nearly 15 years.

The interview made them smile as they shared memories from their first years of marriage. Their love for that country and its people radiated from them as they talked. By the time the interview ended, I felt as if we had been abroad without leaving Raleigh, N.C. Charlie and EG would host me a few more times as my research for the film continued.

It was during Memorial Day weekend last month that Rev. Charles Long passed away. Surry and I attended his visitation that Tuesday, and found the church packed with people paying their respects. The large, diverse crowd was spectacular.

Rev. Charles Long is a man respected and loved by many people. It is truly an honor to have learned his story. Spending time with Charlie and EG taught me so much about the Montagnard people of Vietnam. I am saddened by the loss of such a great man.

The Beast

2011-06-07T18:00:00.000-04:00

Last week I finally bought a new external hard drive. I labeled it The Beast because it's 2TB, the most external storage I've purchased while working on the film. The name makes me giggle when I see it while managing so many files. The Beast is a much better, more encouraging name than the factory setting, you know?

It's been a while since I started shopping for an external drive. I need a means to save Abandoned Allies off-site, should anything go wrong: natural disaster, theft, accident, etc. The thought of losing all of that work really makes it tough to breathe.

This past weekend I set up the new drive and started copying files. It took about nine hours for all of the Abandoned Allies files to save to the new drive, but at least it is done now. There are a few other things I need to organize, and then I'll finally be able to take an external drive (with the film saved on it) to another to-be-determined site.

Storing the film off-site as a back up will give me a little peace of mind. In the meantime, there's much more work to do. At least, finally, I get to check this off my list! Win!

One Simple Truth About Independent Filmmaking

2011-06-06T13:38:00.001-04:00

Years ago I attended the screening of an independent film. The director answered questions afterwards. I mustered up some courage, walked to the mic, and asked him how he started making films.

His answer was, "I just started making movies. With whatever resources I had."

That moment is a big one in my life. The response made me angry because it was so simple. It also gave me enough courage to start Abandoned Allies a few months later.

For years I had been waiting to start making my own films. Waiting for the right time, the right team, the right subject matter. Just waiting for something to get started.

The truth is: there will never be a better time to start making your own independent film than right now. Start today.

Whatever you're dreaming about--even if it's not filmmaking--find a way to do it. Know that it's not going to be any easier to start tomorrow. No one will give you the perfect circumstances. And you're not getting any younger waiting for them.

Don't wait for the perfect time, team, resources, circumstances, script, or subject matter. They don't exist. So quit making excuses and start now. The journey ahead isn't going to be any easier the longer you wait.

Independent filmmaking is not an easy journey. There are ways to make it better, though. More on that later...

Running for the Sake of Sanity

2011-06-02T18:40:00.000-04:00

Running is my zen. It gives me the time to be free of the computer, phone, and all forms of communication. It's my time for exercise and play with my dog. It's a chance to think through all that weighs on my mind, work through the problems, and reflect on the day--no matter whether it's coming or going. It keeps me in shape, helps me sleep better, and makes me a happier, healthier person.

In short, I run for the sake of my sanity.

The heat was always coming, and I knew that. I was just in denial about it, hoping for a few more weeks of running in the sunshine with my dog. It's North Carolina. The South. It gets hot here, and we all know it. So, yeah, the heat was always on its way.

These past few days of 90+ degree weather have nearly driven me crazy, though. Not because of the heat. I love summer and the warmth it brings. But with it comes dehydration and heat stroke when trying to run several miles. Those are fairly serious problems to face, and I'd rather avoid them if I can.

So, I guess it's back to searching for a gym before I pass out while running. I'm trying to be optimistic about it, but I would rather be outside running any day than in a gym. Bleh. Oh well, maybe I can find one with a pool so I can swim laps. That'd be nice.

This clip from What Women Want has stuck with me, even though the movie isn't one of my favorites. It's a great commercial and the stuff he says really speaks to how I feel about running. It's quite nice. Enjoy: http://youtu.be/QyO6ayCb5rE.

Stay safe, folks. It's hot out there, as you know.

Memorial Day Weekend

2011-06-01T13:46:00.000-04:00

My original Memorial Day weekend plan included visiting the lovely Annie Beth and her sweet family so that we could finalize music in Abandoned Allies. I was really excited about this because (1) I really enjoy spending time with them because they're so much fun, and (2) it meant that we were infinitely closer to being finished with the film as the music is one of the last things we'll tweak.

Ehhh, but that's not at all what happened.

While working on this film, I have learned that one must be flexible with this sort of project because things change on a regular basis. It's just part of the whole "building the plane while you're flying it" thing. It can be frustrating, sure, but I'm so grateful to work with people that are flexible and forgiving as we learn to work together.

Annie Beth was graceful enough to let me cancel the trip when I realized my schedule was off. In my haste to finish the film, I left no time to tweak it based on feedback from some of our cast members. So my Memorial Day was now meant for tweaking the parts identified during the most recent screenings.

Yet, instead of either of those plans, I found myself adding B roll. (Remember the part about being flexible?) I spent numerous hours hunting through video Alena identified to find relevant footage, downloading it, and organizing it. Then I learned that the files I downloaded wouldn't work in Final Cut Pro (FCP). When I imported them, the audio disappeared. I tried to find the answers to this problem. I googled but I couldn't find what I needed, and pretty soon I was getting quite impatient.

So, much of Saturday was spent connecting with a number of people that know much more about this than I do. Let me just say that I am so lucky to have access to a group of men who kindly guide me through the techie stuff and take the time to kindly explain it to me in plain English. So lucky.

Without further ado, I owe a big shout out to Todd Tinkham, Jim McQuaid, Chris Moore, Patrick Jones, Zach Abrams, and Andy Poe (and Andy's editor, whom I've never even met!) for helping me over the weekend. I needed to figure out two different problems, and they all responded so quickly to my plea for help. They gave me the tools I needed to convert some files so that I could make progress in FCP. They really helped save my sanity over the weekend, and I owe them much more than just a shout out.

Sunday I spent time with family and friends--a welcomed relief from watching that scrolling progress bars at the computer as the sun taunted me through the window. Monday was spent doing more video editing, and I think I have finalized a certain segment of the film that was previously bothering me.

There's much more work to do, and many more blog posts to write. We're moving so quickly now that it's really tough to stop and write about it all but I don't want to miss documenting as much as I can.

Stay tuned, y'all. More to come.

Beloved B Roll

2011-05-27T14:25:00.000-04:00

This has been a good week for the film. There are many reasons for this, but the one I'll write about now is alllllll about the B ROLL.

I've been searching for archival footage for a few years, but haven't been able to find what I need. One reason is because my research hasn't been in-depth. I'd skim, search, and get totally overwhelmed because there are so many aspects to the film running through my mind while doing any one task.

While searching I would think about the big picture: editing, sound, marketing, event planning, and so on. It wasn't hard to break the big project down into smaller pieces, but it was hard to keep those pieces separated while working. Searching for footage was also tough because I was so deep into editing the film. I would think, "This clip might go well here. No, I need to move all of those clips to a different section."

Uh, yeah. It's been a challenge.

So I changed my plan. I decided to wait until the film was almost finished before searching again. Then I'd have (a) the clarity of thought to look again, (b) renewed energy for the search, and (b) a semi-finished film so that I could add the final finesse easily.

A running list of the footage I needed to tell the story (refined from the previous general searches) helped, but I couldn't make any real progress in finding B Roll. Because of copyright issues or lack of funds, the footage I did find wasn't something I could use. For example, the clip of an explosion during the war was exactly what I needed for one segment but it was out of my budget. (I had to make sure I could feed my dog and pay the bills, remember?) Also, I discovered that I needed to be in the right frame of mind to sit down and give this part of the project its due diligence. In other words, I was relearning how to (1) separate the big picture out into smaller pieces and (2) keep those pieces separated so I wasn't distracted while working on the task at hand.

Well, there's some good news (for those still reading). This week Alena Koch (who is supporting our social media engagement efforts) gave me the greatest gift: links to copyright free footage that can be downloaded for free. All week long I have been mentally screaming, "JACK POT!" It is precisely what I need, and I am so grateful to her for finding it.

Now, on to the next steps: downloading, importing to Fincal Cut Pro (FCP), and adding these pieces to the timeline. I've not tried importing to FCP so I hope I don't have file format issues. Adding this B Roll to the timeline will take many hours, but it will be so worthwhile.

Access to Information

2011-05-25T08:15:00.000-04:00

Access to information is quite commonplace in my world. I have access to libraries, book stores, televisions, smart phones, and the Internet. I’m so spoiled that not finding what I need is a shock.

When I first began research on Abandoned Allies, I naively assumed my usual methodologies would serve me well. Boy was I wrong.

One of my favorite things to do is visit a book store, grab a stack of books, camp out for a few hours, and delve into a new subject. I’m in heaven when surrounded by books. The smell, weight, paper, and the information they contain is delightful. I can read for hours, but perhaps I’m revealing too much of my geekiness. The information I craved for Abandoned Allies, though, was nowhere to be found in any of the places I visited.

One store, for example, had a great section on the Vietnam War but only one of the books had one mention of the word Montagnard. Internet searches were fairly unproductive as well. I found information, but couldn't verify if it was reliable. The overwhelming lack of information from reliable resources has stuck with me.*

Tucked somewhere in the remote parts of my brain was my background in journalism. (Studying design, photography, marketing, and business took priority in more recent years.) My journalism teacher, Susan G. Wellborn, left quite an impression on me.

Wellie taught us about accurate and responsible reporting, research methods, interview techniques, and writing. (Lest I not forget that she also taught us how to have a sense of humor while doing such weighty things.) Working on Opus and Currents (our literary magazine and school newspaper, respectively) has served me well while working on Abandoned Allies.

Access to the information I desperately craved came not through my usual research methods but through the people helping with the project by sharing their experiences, personal photos, and the books they authored. Surry (my executive producer) had many of the books I needed to read, the majority of which were written by our cast members.

We have interviewed more than 20 people in the past three years, including the world’s leading experts on the subject matter at hand. While working on the film, I was granted the access I so desperately craved at the outset.

That purple things is supposed to be a bullhorn.

Because I have finally learned enough about this subject to be dangerous, I now long for the chance to share this information so it’s more easily accessible to those who crave it just as I did.

I want to disseminate what the experts have shared with me—through ways that add to what Abandoned Allies explores on screen. I have been so lucky to hear these stories and experiences firsthand, and have learned so much; I feel a great responsibility to share it.

The next step will be putting together a game plan for disseminating information. The possibilities are endless, but it takes time and resources to make this dream a reality. But first things first—finishing the film.

More thoughts on this will come later, I’m sure.

*Note: This information is incredibly hard for the general public to find quickly and easily. A number of people have dedicated their lives to documenting the Montagnard history and culture, and have done an excellent job at it. What I am describing is a lack of availability and access to this information by the general public--people who don't readily know the term or the subject matter experts. I want to make this available in many different arenas, for those who might have trouble finding it if they didn't know where to look.

Screening in Maryland

2011-05-23T15:33:00.001-04:00

The setting sun on Friday evening was a beautiful gift.

Last Friday afternoon I left Raleigh, N.C., for Reston, V.A., for a private screening of Abandoned Allies in Maryland the following morning. It was a trip I made alone, and the solitude was both unsettling and refreshing.

That evening I stayed in a hotel room with the fluffiest, white king-sized bed you've ever seen. My exhaustion made me crawl in bed early. The following morning I woke up an hour before my alarm went off, laying completely crooked in the hotel bed and totally confused about where I was or why I was there. To put it simply, I desperately needed some rest. These past few weeks (hell, months) have been quite stressful.

Saturday morning came quickly though. I woke up so early that I had plenty of time to relax, get ready, and grab some coffee. I even had time to clean off the dashboard of my car--something I've neglected for too long.

By 8:42 a.m. I was waiting outside Mike's place, ready for him to meet me to travel to Maryland together. We were both a little shocked when he walked outside and saw me sitting there, waiting. The timing was almost so perfect it felt scripted.

Within minutes we were on our way to Maryland, where we met Greg and his wife. We all chatted for a bit, and then started the film. There were a few technical difficulties I noticed--which I've made notes about fixing--but the DVD played well. The picture quality was unnerving so I need to learn how to export the film faster with higher quality. The entire process takes me about three or four days right now, which is entirely too long.

The responses to the film were positive. There were some areas for improvement, namely with the ending. As I've mentioned previously, we're still working on the ending and it is something that bothers me a lot right now. Talking with Mike and Greg clarified a number of things, which is incredibly helpful.

As I drove home on Saturday, my cell phone buzzed a number of times with follow up emails from Mike and Greg. They shared new resources that will be really helpful with the film: books, photos, stories, etc.

Showing the film to cast members Mike, Greg, Chris, and George has been really, really helpful. The things they suggested helped me figure out how to handle the very things that have been bothering me as a filmmaker.

This coming weekend is Memorial Day. I had planned on visiting AB to work on the final musical additions; however, I recognize that I need time to make changes to the film as suggested by the cast members whom have watched it recently. The new game plan will be working on the film this weekend, and finding another weekend to finalize the music.

Overall, the screening went really well this weekend. It feels so great to be finalizing the film. I can't wait to tweak these last few things so that we can start sharing it with the public. We're almost there, folks. Thanks for your unending support and patience.

What's Next?

2011-05-20T13:29:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I mentioned that we're showing the latest cut of Abandoned Allies to two more cast members tomorrow morning. The film we're showing is not a finished piece because we're finalzing a few things.

So, then, what's next? When is it going to be finished, and what's left to do?

We'll get feedback tomorrow from our cast members, consider it, and finish tweaking a few things in the story line. The ending of the film isn't finished yet, but I am much closer to it now. There are things that still bother me, so we're working on those things.

Next weekend I'll work with Annie Beth to finalize the music. She has been incredibly patient with me over the years, as have many other volunteers. It's a learning process, really, and I am glad to be working with people willing to learn with me. I've heard the phrase "building a plane while flying it" enough but now I really grasp what that means: a fair amount of organized chaos. Annie Beth is a wonderfully smart woman, though, and I am deeply grateful to her for lending her talents. She's collected original music from truly talented indie artists, and I know you'll be impressed when you hear it.

Once we finalize the music, we'll then finalize the end credits. Patrick and Zach are working on this with me, and have also been very patient along the journey. They, too, are incredibly talented and dedicated to making this film a great one. They're working on a few things, but are still waiting on the final end credits list from me (which is waiting on the final list of music).

After those things are in place, we'll work with a sound engineer to normalize the film. This simply means that we go through the film to make sure that each person is audible, the music isn't too loud while someone's talking, and that everything is on the same level (it doesn't get drastically louder in one spot and way too quiet in another). There are also some trouble spots that I hope our sound engineer can improve.

Once those things are completed, then we should be a breath away from having the film totally complete. I'd like to do some color correction, but am not quite sure how to make that happen. It's definitely needed.

In the meantime, there's plenty of other work to be done. We'll have a chance to show the film to more cast members to get feedback, as well as a few other private screenings. While that's happening, we'll also work on marketing/branding/communications and event planning. The goal is to have a party later this year because, well, we've been working hard on this for so long--how can you not stop to celebrate such a momentous occassion?

So, basically, that's what I envision is next for this film and all the folks helping with it. There are varying levels of completion, and I feel a huge one is coming up very soon. After that, I imagine I can breathe MUCH easier. The stress of making this film is taking its toll on my loved ones and me, so it's time to put it to rest and start celebrating the end of a journey and the beginning of a new one.

More to come. Stay tuned!

Next Screening: This Weekend

2011-05-19T15:18:00.000-04:00

Mike Benge in Vietnam during the war.

This weekend I'll show Abandoned Allies to two more cast members: Mike Benge and Greg Stock. We'll meet early Saturday morning to watch the film and discuss ways to improve it. I can't wait to share the film with them--finally.

All week long I've been getting ready for this weekend. On Tuesday, fellow filmmaker Todd Tinkham helped me with video editing. He's been such a good friend, and I am incredibly grateful for his help.

There are a few areas in the film giving me problems. Expressing these problems in writing is tough, except to say that they just don't work well. I've been over-analyzing the film for three years, so I know that there are parts that aren't working--but I don't quite know how to fix them. Todd helped me find some clarity, and pieced together the story much better this week. His talent as a filmmaker and a "fresh set of eyes" were incredibly helpful. (More on what Todd's doing later.)

It is such a thrill to start sharing the film with people. Not only is it giving me greater clarity, but it's also giving me closure on the project so that we can move on: wrap up post-production, share the film, start discussions, and hopefully lead to social change. It's an exciting time, indeed.

Finished, Finished? Finished, Finished! (Soon.)

2011-05-17T16:33:00.000-04:00

The film isn't finished ... YET.

Yesterday I talked about our next steps with the film, and when we'll be finished with it. It reminds me of a conversation that gets repeated regularly these days. When people find out we're almost finished with it, they usually ask me what's next (either with the film or my own career). Often, they are disappointed to hear what comes after we finish the film: more work.

When we talk about finishing the film, it's important to define "finished" so we're all on the same page. There's still a lot of work left once the film itself is finished because this is an indie film and we most likely won't just hand it off for distribution. In terms of production, though, finished means that we're no longer going to tweak the film. We're not going to change it anymore. It is what it is and won't change anymore.

As an artist, you can tweak a piece of work endlessly. Art history has taught me this repeatedly. Monet painted the same subject over and over again. He painted the same static hay stacks 25 times 1890-1891. Those stupid hay stacks! I love 'em. My point is that an artist can be obsessive about studying something, so it's incredibly important to find a stopping point.

What good would it do for me to continue tweaking the film and never show it to anyone?

Finished, then, means we are comfortable with the story line, we've fixed the problems, and we have done everything in our power to make it the best we possibly can with the resources available. Boom. Done. Print to DVD and move on.

When we're finished with post-production, there's a whole new world of work ahead because this is an independent film. We will work on design, branding, marketing, communications, event planning (premieres, screenings with Q&A sessions, etc.), film festival applications, and plenty of little pet projects that spin-off of this one. But we have to finish this one first.

So we finish the film and then start sharing it. The idea--in the long run, anyway--is that we continue sharing the film and having conversations as long as it takes to bring about positive social change. In those terms, then, I have no clue when we'll be finished because social change might take a lot of time. Might being the key word.

This I can tell you: we will be finished with the film in the coming months because it's time. It's time to be finished with it so we can share it. I mean print-to-DVD finished. Show and sell finished. Never tweak it again finished.

Finished, finished? Yes. Finished, finished!

Next Steps

2011-05-16T09:38:00.000-04:00

Many people ask, "When will the film be finished?!"

If I've learned anything while working on the film over the past three years, it's that the time line continues to change. So I have taken to answering, "Soon!"

We are working on a zero-dollar budget with many wonderful volunteers, which means progress is slow-going. My background in design has proven that you can have two of the three following things: fast, cheap, and great.

You can have a great product fast, but it's going to cost. Or you can have a great product for cheap, but it's going to take a while. We're in the latter category. It takes a while to make a film. In our case, it's taken a little more than three years. But we're almost finished.

Image credit: http://welearned.net/2011/01/how-would-you-like-your-graphic-design/.

So what are the next steps?

The film is in good shape, and we've started showing it to our cast members. We'll keep showing it at private screenings to cast members and other select groups over the next few months. These private screenings will help us make sure the film raises/answers the questions we want it to, and gives us a chance to iron our the kinks.

In the meantime, we have a few things left to wrap up. We'll add the final music to the film over Memorial Day weekend, finalize the end credits and put those in place, correct the color differences in the film, and work with our sound engineer to normalize and fix any audio problems. I also want to find more B roll, if possible. I've done a bit of research but need the time to continue looking into ways to get footage that will help us tell this story visually. That takes a bit of time, which is tough to find while you're working on so many other aspects of the film.

The process is a slow-moving one, but that's not entirely a bad thing. It's taught me a lot about the filmmaking process, and the team you need in order to make it happen efficiently. My mantra has been, "The next film will be so much easier." Each day I learn a lesson about how to make the next film better and more efficiently.

It seems almost unfair to have this much fun working on a project!

First Screening with Cast Members

2011-05-15T16:24:00.000-04:00

The viewing party from Tuesday, May 10th (from L to R): Camden Watts, director; Todd Tinkham, fellow filmmaker; Surry Roberts, executive producer; Chris McClure, cast member; George Shepard, cast member; Joe Ellington and Adam Shepard, whom have watched the film develop from its infancy; and (not pictured) Sharon Mujica, film festival organizer.

On Tuesday evening a small group of folks gathered to watch the latest cut of Abandoned Allies, including two of our cast members. It was really thrilling to show the film to this group for the first time. It's a work in progress, but we're almost finished.

After the film ended on Tuesday night, we had a series of great conversations. Many of the things that have been bothering me were brought up in these conversations. I'm so grateful to the group for watching the film, and sharing their thoughts about it.

From here, we have a few things left to tidy up and then we're finished. Every day we're getting closer to completion. Stay tuned!

The Latest

2011-04-15T16:17:00.000-04:00

Howdy, folks! It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you don't feel neglected. We've been hustling to get the film finished (and I have been going through a few personal transitions) so it's been tough to keep up with the blog posts.

Great things are taking shape, though. The film is in a much different state than it was a few months ago, and it is looking good! We'll finish tweaking the ending, add our final music selections, mix sound, and tweak the final motion graphics over the course of the next few weeks.

Then on May 10th, we'll share the film with two of our cast members for the first time. I am absolutely thrilled about sharing the film with them. We will share it with more cast members in the near future and set up small, private screenings with select groups throughout the summer.

Stay tuned. We're hustling to ge tthe film finished as soon as possible. Thank you all for the great encouragement you've provided. We appreciate it so much!

Slow and Steady

2011-03-15T13:59:00.000-04:00

Tonight my executive producer and two of his trusted pals will watch Abandoned Allies with me. I hope that it's a rewarding experience for them, because the film is in a much different state than the last time they saw it. We still need to work on sound and color correction, but we're getting insanely close to being finished.

We'll have picture lock by this Friday since Annie Beth and I will be working on adding music again this weekend. The team and I are learning the process together, which is really great. In this case, having the picture locked first makes adding music infinitely easier. It's great to learn how to make the film making process efficient together.

Every now and then I get incredibly frustrated with how long it's taken to get to this stage, but I have to remind myself that it's the slow and steady that wins the race. The rush to the finish line is not the ultimate goal, no matter how anxious I am to finish the film.

Making a great film, on a zero-dollar budget, with nearly 30 volunteers means that the journey itself is the reward. Learning the process, working with close friends, and making a small difference in the world is what I value. Every day--no matter the challenges or frustrations--I feel insanely lucky to be able to do work that I love with people that I adore.

What's that saying again? Find something you love to do, and you'll never work a day in your life. Yep. I believe it.

Mirrors and Mondays

2011-03-08T14:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I broke a mirror. According to superstition, I'll have another seven years of bad luck ahead of me. Yet today I woke up feeling like one of the luckiest girls in the world because of the work I'm doing and the people helping me do it.

My Monday was absolutely amazing. I had lunch with a fella that lives with his wife in Charlotte. They are friends with a group of Montagnards in the area. He is totally amped up about how to make positive change happen, and we chatted about all the possibilities. I'm looking forward to getting to know this new friend, and sharing the film with his community when we're ready.

Yesterday I also met with my marketing communications team. Meetings like that make me so happy. The smart, talented and enthusiastic people helping with the film just ... well, ... amazes me to no end. I'm so honored to be working with these smart, smart friends.

There are about seven people helping me with this phase of the project, and that's just the start. I'm hoping that the team will continue to grow since everyone is volunteering, and time is a very precious thing. I hate for anyone to be stretched too thin on a project that is not paying the bills for any of us. There is a sweet spot for a volunteer where the altruistic reasons for helping stay balanced with the hard work and time invested. One of my goals is to keep everyone in that sweet spot so they enjoy what they're doing, and so they keep doing their best work.

Last night the marcomm group watched the first 25 minutes of the film, gave me some feedback, and then chatted about our next steps. My mind has been totally occupied with post-production, so having this group help us move the project forward is outstanding. They have a marketing communications plan, and together we'll all make it happen. I can't wait!

The end of the evening included a phone call with a fellow video editor who is helping me craft our trailer. He's been working on it for a while now, and we'll meet again today to go over the changes needed. It's great to have someone helping with those efforts while I finish the film itself.

Other great things are taking shape, too. There are two or three speaking opportunities coming up, where I'll get to share more about Abandoned Allies with new audiences. We will share a few minutes of the film, too, which should be incredibly exciting.

Stay tuned...more to come, my friends.

Working from Designbox

2011-02-24T17:41:00.000-05:00

Today I worked on the film from Designbox. I love working from this location, and am so happy to have won the shovemedia contest for 30 days of coworking. It has been a great help in getting the video editing completed.

Working here makes me feel like I'm a part of a bigger artistic community. Other Designbox members stop by and ask how Abandoned Allies is progressing, then offer encouragement and advice. It is so needed. Working on such a large project can feel so overwhelming some days, and coming here provides the perfect dose of medicine needed. I really wish I could be here more often, but perhaps that may come to fruition one of these days. It reminds me of my days at Meredith College, working alongside such bright women on artistic endeavors.

Not nearly enough was accomplished today, but I'll keep working as hard as I can to wrap up post-production. The motion graphics (lower thirds, animated maps, opening sequence, etc.) were added to the time line this week and they look so great. It makes the film feel like it's finally coming together.

Next we'll work on music, once I finally get picture lock. Running towards the finish line as fast as possible...

Montagnard Refugees Moving to Canada

2011-02-14T10:35:00.000-05:00

Montagnard refugees seeking asylum in Cambodia will not be forced to return to Vietnam. The majority of the group will move to Canada, but only four members of this refugee group will come to the United States.

The news article is posted below for more information.

Refugees find new home in Canada
from the Phnom Penh Post
Twenty-five Vietnamese Montagnard refugees from a United Nations-administered refugee centre in Phnom Penh departed the country for Canada this afternoon, following the departure of an initial group on Monday.

Kitty McKinsey, regional spokeswoman for the UN High Commissioner for Refugees, confirmed today that 25 left the country for Quebec City on Monday and would be joined by 25 later this week, though she did not give the exact date.
“We’re extremely grateful to Canada, because this is a very good opportunity for these people to start lives over and for their children to get a good education,” McKinsey said.

Sister Denise Coughlan, director of Jesuit Refugee Services, confirmed that the second group of 25 was set to leave the refugee centre at about 4:30pm today before boarding a plane to Bangkok.

Of the 50 refugees bound for Canada, 37 are members of the Jarai ethnic minority, who also populate parts of northeastern Cambodia, McKinsey said. The group is made up of 32 women and 18 men, who range in age from 57 to two infants born at the refugee centre in the last six months.

The departure of the refugees comes just days ahead of the closure next Tuesday of the Sen Sok district site that had housed them while their asylum claims were under review.

On November 29, the Foreign Ministry wrote to UNHCR to announce that the refugee centre would be shuttered at the end of the year, warning that any Montagnards remaining at the site faced deportation.

The deadline was eventually extended until February 15 following a request from the agency.

The centre contained 76 Montagnards when the closure was announced, 62 of whom were registered refugees.

Since 2001, about 2,000 Montagnards – as Vietnam’s highland ethnic minorities are known – have fled to Cambodia because of alleged persecution by the Vietnamese authorities.

McKinsey said today that four more of the Montagnards would be resettled in the United States.

One has also been accepted into the US as an immigrant.

Ten of the Montagnard asylum seekers had their refugee claims rejected, she said, though it was unclear when they would be deported.

An additional 10 are yet to be fully processed, but despite the looming deadline, McKinsey said she was confident their cases would be resolved.

“We’re working with the Cambodian government and I’m confident we’re going to find solutions for them,” she said.

The closure of the site will bring to an end a 2005 agreement between Cambodia, Vietnam and the UNHCR governing the processing of Montagnard asylum seekers.

McKinsey said Cambodia – as a signatory of the 1951 Refugee Convention – had an obligation to fairly process any future asylum claims from Vietnamese Montagnards.

Coughlan from JRS said refugee groups would continue to monitor the situation.
“Anyone who seeks asylum from Vietnam, Sri Lanka, Afghanistan or the Congo ... we hope that they’re all treated the same way – that they’re all given the same asylum seeker process,” she said.

Foreign Ministry spokesman Koy Kuong said the government would use “the existing law” – including immigration legislation and the 2009 refugee subdecree – in future cases.

“We will apply our existing legal instruments,” he said.

“Right now, I cannot say any further than this. Let’s take it step by step.”

February 11, 2011

2011-02-11T12:55:00.000-05:00

Today is my sweet grandmother's birthday. How does this relate to the film, you ask? Because, like the rest of my family, she has been an incredibly positive influence on me and has encouraged me to try big things. She's one of many family members who have taught me the importance of family, history, theater, art, culture, and genealogy.

We are who we are because of the people in our lives, I believe. My grandma is a fascinating creature, and I love her dearly. It's been about two weeks since I saw her last, and that feels like two years. I feel a twinge of hurt for our Montagnard friends as I write that sentence. Some of the Montagnards living in the States haven't seen family members who still live in Vietnam in many, many years.

Occasionally, I will talk to Montagnards living here in North Carolina and I ask if they have family still in Vietnam. I'm curious. Most of the time they say, "Yes," but it's a hesitant response--as if confirmation of such a fact stirs painful memories. Many of them have shared stories about fleeing Vietnam, leaving behind their beloved, and trying to stay in touch because they can't get back to visit.

I can't imagine not seeing my mom for 10 years, wondering how she's doing and feeling like there's little I can do to ensure her safety and well being. Not to mention fleeing my country as a refugee, unsure of whether I will ever see my homeland again. The concept and understanding of a political refugee's life here in the States is something I had not contemplated until I started working on Abandoned Allies.

There are groups helping our allies living in the States, which brings me joy. Churches, NGOs, and corporations are helping them get accustomed to life here. The basics like finding a place to live, getting food, finding a job, learning the language and culture, and raising a family are--I can only imagine--fairly challenging in a new country.

People ask me why a lot of Montagnards have come to North Carolina, and one of the many reasons is because other family members are here. You can believe that if I were forced to leave my home land as a political refugee, I'm going to try relocating where I know someone.

Today--as the people of Egypt force their leader out of power and as my dear grandmother celebrates her 91st birthday--I feel a sense of hope about the future of Vietnam, our Montagnard allies, and the potential of positive change that starts with a small group of very passionate individuals. I am an optimist and a realist, and I feel that when we learn the truth about an injustice, we have the beautiful possibility that we can do something to make it right.

For three years I have talked with Vietnam War Veterans--both Americans and Montagnards--and their disappointment in our government's treatment of these allies is overwhelming. This group of people has been marginalized for nearly 40 years, and they are none too happy about it. I desperately hope that we might give them a voice, so that these mistakes will not be repeated.

In the meantime, I keep working on the film. Hustling to get it finished.

Ignite Durham

2011-02-10T14:34:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to Ignite Durham to hear several of my friends give micro presentations, as part of Global Ignite Week 2011. It was a delightful evening of presentations, seeing some of my favorite people, and drinking NC craft beer at FullSteam at the after party.

The folks that organize these events (often using social media tools to mobilize crowds) always impress me. They do such a great job of bringing together fun, intelligent people in an awesome setting (and often with free food, drinks, and prizes). They are such clever folks, and I'm a big fan of what they do.

There's an art to throwing a great party, and hosting an event that pleases as many people as there were last night. Way to go, Ryan Boyles, Jeffrey L. Cohen, Zach Ward! Y'all did a great job. Lisa Sullivan organized the volunteers, and I know she did a great job, too. The evening seemed to run so smoothly from where we sat.

If you want coverage of some of the fun topics covered at last night's event, the lovely and talented Ginny from the Blog has ya covered here.

There were great presentations last night, and I feel quite refreshed and motivated today. Simply put: it was great being around such inspiring folks in one of my favorite theaters. Well done, y'all. Keep up the great work. I'm looking forward to next year's Ignite.

February 2011

2011-02-05T14:15:00.000-05:00

This month is going to be a beast. A good beast, but a beast nonetheless. We're going to have the film totally finished by the end of the month. We're sooooo close!

I've been having several meetings recently, and I think that we're on track to have everything completed. The year is shaping up well, and I think we can actually meet these deadlines now. People have been asking me for years when the film will be finished, and the only honest answer I can offer is "sometime soon, I hope." It's been a guessing game for the past three years (because it's my first film), but I feel quite confident that we're going to wrap this baby up by the end of the month.

Recently I met with Surry (my EP) and Adam Shepard, author of Scratch Beginnings. (His book is a great, quick read and I highly recommend it.) We talked about the ways in which book publishing is similar to film distribution--a really interesting and helpful conversation. A lot of people ask me what our next steps are with the film. We've got a plan in place, and talking with Adam and Surry about it recently was a big help. I really like what Adam's done with his books, and am very appreciative of his time and advice.

Last night I met with a very intelligent (and gorgeous, fun) friend about conducting focus groups. The goal is to show the film to very small, select groups of individuals to get feedback about the film. I'm really looking forward to that process. She's already helped me think through it, and how we can take steps to gathering people to get the most helpful feedback. I'm so lucky to have her help.

This morning I had a meeting with our motion graphics guys, Patrick and Zach. They are doing such great work, and I can't even tell you how thrilled I am to have them on board. They are committed to doing their best work, which is the type of team you want to build. (Plus, they're also tons of fun to work with.) They've been working on the opening segment, chapter titles, lower thirds, animated maps, and end credits. What a huge help to have them creating motion graphics to keep the audience informed and engaged. It'll look way better than the place holder graphics I created out of desperate need.

This coming week I will be meeting with AB again about music. We'll take a close look at what we have on the timeline, how it fits, and what is needed. She's collected music from independent artists, and has also written/recorded an amazing song for the film. Kyle's also composing original scores, which is absolutely wonderful.

Folks, these people are so talented. I'm going to owe a lot of favors!

The trailer is also taking shape. We've identified that we'll need a fairly short trailer first, and then work on a teaser from that point. Dustin's sent me a first draft of the trailer, and will keep working on it this month. I hope to have something to show to a class at NCSU when I speak to them this spring. Putting it online is also our priority, so people can see something other than the Habitat for Humanity video we did last year.

Everything is coming together well, it seems. This month is going to be a really busy one, full of working hard and playing hard. We're hustling to get the film finished so we can start sharing it in 2011. Stay tuned, folks!

The End is Near!

2011-01-21T11:46:00.000-05:00

Forgive my lack of posts recently, friends. We're so close to finishing the post-production, that I find it tough to keep the blog updated. Be assured, though, we are making great strides each day!

We have recently had meetings about motion graphics, music, and the trailer for the film. Just last night I was telling someone how excited I am about the final product because of the talented people helping make it. When I showed off the opening segment to some fellow filmmakers recently, they gushed immediately. It looks so great.

The part of this phase I love the most is that I'm no longer sitting at my computer for hours on end editing video. While video editing is an art--and I have great respect for it as such--that part of the process has been particularly painful for me since I'm a rather social person.

What a great way to learn about filmmaking, though! I have been so lucky to learn the hard way, jumping in to try it and struggle through it. My friends have been so kind as to show me how to make improvements, and share tricks about using Final Cut Pro. Just the other day, I used FCP with someone and kind of impressed myself with how quickly I moved through the program. It's exciting.

We'll finish everything up by the end of February and then start showing it to select groups of people. This is going to be a great year for the film, and I see the end of post-production in sight! Stay tuned...

Thanks, Y'all

2011-01-14T14:02:00.000-05:00

How do you build a good team? A great team? A group of people who work together really, really well to make something outstanding? It's a challenge, for sure, but something that completely fascinates me. The team helping me with Abandoned Allies is stellar. I am so lucky, y'all.

These folks are good friends, lending me their time, talents, and thoughtful constructive criticism in order to make my first film really wayyy better than I ever could on my own. I can't sing their praises enough, and each day I look forward to sharing their work with you. When someone compliments me on a certain part of the film, it brings me such joy to give credit to the cast and crew who made it happen!

These are people who are dedicated to their craft, and volunteer their time to help me step up the value of this film. Because they care about making it better, they aren't afraid to offer their thoughts about how to do so. That is a wonderful trait to have in a teammate: someone who's not afraid to speak bluntly about how to make an improvement.

I'm so grateful to all of you helping me with this film, and providing encouragement along the way. I can't say it enough. Thanks for your help, and for making this one wild and wonderful ride. Cheers, y'all. :)

The Trailer

2011-01-11T11:19:00.000-05:00

Recently I was lucky enough to have another new volunteer join our team. Dustin will be helping us by editing together trailers and teasers for the film, which we have desperately needed for quite some time. Welcome aboard, Dustin!

The Volunteer Phenomenon never ceases to amaze me. When I need certain work done, someone shows up willing to work with me on it. It's wild, really, and speaks to the power of the project. We're working on something that's cool, important, and has the potential to make positive change happen. I love watching people get excited about the story, and helping them find a place on our team.

We'll be working on the trailer for the next few months, while we finish the film itself. The trailers will then go online so people can get a taste of the full length film. It's interesting to figure out what type of trailer you want for your film.

This is something I've not spent a great deal of time on previously, since I've been so focused on finishing the film. Dustin's helping me think through what information should be presented and how, as well as the length of time for the trailer. Most of all, I want the trailer to accurately represent the film itself and not mislead anyone. It should also get people interested enough to see the film, obviously.

While I don't like to brag, I have to admit: this project is one of the coolest things I've ever worked on in my life. I am so lucky to be doing this, and absolutely can't wait to do it again.

The people helping me with Abandoned Allies are so dear to me, and I am looking forward to sharing their work publicly. They have given me so much by volunteering their time, efforts, thoughts, hugs, criticism, and especially encouragement when I am THISCLOSE to having a break down. Much love to the cast, crew, family, and friends for supporting me through such a monumental endeavor. I can't wait to share the results in 2011.

Stay tuned...more to come, my friends.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-05T10:09:00.000-05:00

It's a new year! How wonderful!

You know why I'm particularly excited? Because this is the year that we will finally finish Abandoned Allies! March 2011 will be our three-year mark on the project, and it is fitting that it is the same month we're projected to be totally finished with production. I am thrilled about this, y'all!

This year is going to be a good one. I can feel it.

Back to Blogging: Part 2

2010-12-21T23:25:00.000-05:00

It has been incredibly difficult to start blogging again. Can't tell you why, really. I imagine I probably got burned out getting the film in rough cut stage over the course of the last few months. But, thankfully, I have had some time to relax and rest up. Now it's time to start "pounding the pavement" again. I'll do my best to keep you more updated about the film, my friends. We are so appreciative that you care enough to follow along with this filmmaking journey.

We worked really hard to get the film into its current state, but there's more work to do. My team worked hard on the gathering of music, composing original scores, graphic design, motion graphics, social media management, setting up our Withoutabox information, and so much more. By the way, the film totally has an IMDB page now, thanks to Chris Moore who helped make that happen (yay!): http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1788347/.

Thanks to the effort of so many people, we submitted the rough cut of the film to its first film festival. This is a huge milestone, and I'm thrilled to have it behind us now. So, what now, you ask? Well, now we finish the film.

From this stage, we'll start the serious tweaking and adding of the final finesse. Motion graphics (opening title sequence, lower thirds, chapter headings, end credits, etc.), music, sound engineering, color correction, adding more images and footage....the list is a long one, but I'm hoping this is the easier part now. The hard part, for me, was editing the story together. The fun part, for me, will be finally sharing these three plus years of hard work.

We'll have the film in its final stages by the end of February if all goes according to plan. We'll hear back about the film festival by early March. We dearly hope that we'll be able to show the film in April in North Carolina. After that, we'll have some super fun events and will be able to start sharing the film with you later next year.

Wow, it feels good to be typing such sentences. We have worked diligently for a very long time, and I absolutely cannot wait to share the film with you. Thanks, always, for following along, asking about our progress, and supporting me when I'm close to breaking down. What a dream come true this whole things has been! I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

Back to Blogging

2010-12-06T12:57:00.000-05:00

Hello again, friends! Whew, it's been a while, hey? So much has happened in the past few days that it'll be tough to update you in one blog post. So I'll stick with the big news. Last week we submitted a rough cut of Abandoned Allies to its first film festival!

This is a huge milestone because we've been in post-production for about two years. This also means we're on the fast track to have it totally finished by the end of February. What a wonderful feeling to be this close to finishing the film. There's still a significant amount of tweaking left, but we are on our way now.

The team of folks who helped us submit the film is absolutely wonderful. There are so many thank yous to write. I do want to quickly thank Surry, Annie Beth, Kyle, Chris, Zach, Patrick, Drew, Steve, Sally, Adger, and my parents for being such solid forms of support during these past few weeks. They really stepped up to help make things come together (and keep me sane). I'm so appreciative of all the people who have helped make this film. It's a wild adventure, and I have to pinch myself regularly because I feel so lucky to be doing this work.

While working on the film, I have been dog-tired.
Even my pup was wiped out. Don't know why he
sleeps with his tongue sticking out, though.

That said, the past few weeks have been even more intense than usual. I've neglected some important things while trying to make the film ready for its submission, and that hurts me deeply. The list of stuff that's been neglected is probably longer than our credits.

So I'm thinking through ways to improve efficiency for the next film. How can I improve as a producer/director? What can I do to help my team (work better, stay happy, do amazing things, etc.)? What tasks are distracting to me, and who can I find to do those tasks so I can stay focused? My mind works over time on these things so I can make the next film better and more quickly. I can't stop looking back and analyzing it, so that I can make the next film faster and better.

This form of "debriefing" after a period of intensity is probably instilled in me from my days at Camp Don Lee. We'd go on sailing trips, and almost immediately debrief after we returned. It's a good practice, and one I hope to take with me throughout my career. I'm lucky to work with people who are honest and unafraid to give feedback on the process, so I hope to debrief with them next year when we finish the film.

Equally important, though, is a bit of R&R after a period of such intensity. I hope my teammates are resting up. I've already given myself some small rewards: a chocolate chip / peppermint milkshake, two new pairs of jeans (bought on black Friday for 50% off, of course), three days of sleeping in, about five hours of cooking/baking, a night cuddled up with my dog on the couch watching delightfully mindless TV, an hour playing the guitar for the first time in years, and some serious quality time with family and friends that I've missed terribly over the past few weeks. There are a few more rewards on my list, and I plan on checking them off soon.

While there's much more work ahead of us, I'm feeling like a huge weight has lifted. In fact, the other night I was just describing how I feel like a fog has lifted. I can see the future of this film much more clearly now, and I look forward to seeing what happens in the coming years. It's a lot of hard work, but I see it already bringing awareness to this important segment of U.S. history and how it relates to today. So, cheers, to that.

Mini Blogging Break

2010-11-23T15:24:00.000-05:00

Hello, friends.

We're going to take a mini blogging break. It's Thanksgiving week here in the States. We're hustling to finish the film, too. We promise to be back to blogging soon. Thanks for following along with our filmmaking adventure.

More updates soon!
Camden

Human Rights and Religious Freedom in Vietnam

2010-11-22T15:26:00.000-05:00

The U.S. State Department just released its International Religious Freedom Report 2010, confirming that the lack of religious freedom in Vietnam is still a problem for loyal American allies known as the Montagnard people. Many of the Montagnards converted to Christianity because of the French and American missionaries who were in their country. They are persecuted for their beliefs in their home country today.

Another article titled "Vietnam slams US State Department religious freedom report as biased, incorrect" was recently published. It's a short article, so I'll post it here in case it gets removed later:

Vietnam slams US State Department religious freedom report as biased, incorrect

HANOI, Vietnam - Vietnam's communist government has slammed the U.S. State Department's annual religious freedom report, calling it biased and based on incorrect information.

The report on the status of religious freedom worldwide, released Wednesday, noted an improved respect for religious freedom and practices in Vietnam, but said significant problems remained.

"Some religious believers continued to experience harassment or repression, particularly those who had not applied for or been granted legal sanction," the report said. "In a number of instances, local officials forced church gatherings to cease, closed unregistered house churches, and pressured individuals to renounce their religious beliefs."

Vietnam's foreign ministry said the report "continues to produce biased assessment that is built on incorrect information on Vietnam."

"In Vietnam, the rights to freedom of belief and religion of the Vietnamese people are enshrined in the national constitution and are respected and guaranteed in reality," ministry spokeswoman Nguyen Phuong Nga said in a statement posted on the ministry's website late Thursday.

There are a dozen sanctioned religions in Vietnam, a nation of 86 million people, with Buddhism and Christianity the largest. Those not recognized by the communist government are outlawed.

It's obvious that Vietnam wants the world to think they're improving human rights and religious freedoms, whether they are actually doing that or not. Our country gives a lot of lip service to improving human rights. There are economic benefits that come with trading with the United States, and we can use that as leverage to improve human rights for our loyal allies, the Montagnards. An article stated recently that the US is "Vietnam's largest export market and is currently one of the six largest foreign investors in the country with committed investment of $15 billion."

Our country is trading and investing in a country that treats our loyal allies poorly, but we can change that. The media has identified a key motivating factor for the Vietnamese--$15 billion.

Abandoned Allies explores these things on film. These are things I knew nothing about when we started the project in March 2008. Knowing what I know now, I am hopeful that we can see positive change take shape. I don't pretend to have the answers, but I know that awareness can lead to change.

Living the Dream

2010-11-17T14:03:00.001-05:00

It is extraordinarily hard to know what you want.

It is harder in a way to know what you want than how to get it. Sometimes we block our desires for fear we won't get them. Our fears of disappointment and rejection are so huge that we will stay with things we are unhappy with because we know them. Fear of the unknown is so big.

I like big. It's a good word. Short but expansive. It makes me smile when I say it.

Choosing what you want is the biggest difference you can make in your life.

You cannot be doing what you'd rather be doing until you have made that choice. Not the decision, an informed choice. Choice about what you are, what you want and what you will have to lose to do it.

-- Nicola Phillips, The Big Difference: Life Works When You Choose It

These are words from a book I happened to pick up on January 1, 2007. Inside the book I wrote "a $10 gift to myself" thinking it would inspire me. I only bought it because it was 1/2 off, and years later I'm still enjoying the book and the notes I wrote inside it.

This morning, especially, I recalled where I was in my career (and emotionally) when I bought the book. Filmmaking seemed like a dream that was so far away because I didn't know how to do it, where to go, or how to figure it out. I also didn't know what, exactly, I wanted to do in the industry. I just knew that I wanted to try it.

The year before I bought The Big Difference, I had decided to move to L.A. When I visited L.A., I loved it and wanted to stay. I thought about whether I should ship, drive or sell my car. I thought about how to get a job in L.A. to pay the bills while figuring out how to get into the film industry. I could be a secretary, or answer phones. Something corporate to pay the bills. I even looked at where to live, and how to find roommates. I was convinced this was the plan. But something didn't feel quite right. So I stayed in my beloved home state of North Carolina.

Low and behold, I have been able to do everything I wanted to do in L.A. right here in Raleigh, N.C. These two worlds are quite different, but I have been able to try what I wanted to try without actually moving. I was able to study improvisational comedy through ComedyWorx and iO, and I am now making my own film. How lucky I am to have had these opportunities in my home state.

For those of you who are trying to figure out your career, what you want out of life, and how to make your dreams come true, I recommend this book. It leaves you with a lot of questions, but helps you think through things for yourself. It helps you figure out the path you'll take, because none of us take the same paths in life, right?

My favorite chapter is titled "Living in Chaotic Space," which is exactly where I've been living for about three years now. The learning curve I've faced in making Abandoned Allies is both thrilling and simultaneously exhausting. Because I crave new information, though, this chaotic space has become quite satisfying and comfortable (on some days, but not all days).

In the past week I've wanted to throw my massive desktop out the window out of frustration. Then on days like today, I'm in the right place at the right time and the right people show me the right information. It's as if the universe aligns for the briefest of moments to show confirmation that I am doing what I'm meant to be doing. And that, my friends, is worth any frustration I might feel along the way.

Besides, these silly little battles I have are so insignificant when I see the bigger picture. Any time I start to feel tired or have self-pity, I am reminded of the struggles that my cast members went through in their lives. It's a healthy dose of perspective, and I am often left weeping in the midst of editing video.

How I long to share this film with you. I only hope that the film will tell these stories well, and that you'll forgive me of my first-time filmmaker mistakes.

Talk at NCSU (Round 2)

2010-11-16T15:55:00.000-05:00

This morning I was lucky enough to visit Dr. Patterson's STS 323 class to talk about Abandoned Allies and the issues it covers: human rights, foreign policy, the US Special Forces, and our loyal allies, the Montagnard people. I'm very grateful to Dr. Patterson, his students, and Laura Hartman for the kind introduction to the class.

It's an honor to share the subject with such smart university students. The subject is a complex one, and speaking to Dr. Patterson's classes has helped me think through our messages and how to distill them down into smaller bits of information for a presentation (outside of the media of film). Abandoned Allies has a very narrow scope, and would be much longer if we covered all that I wish could go into it. Finding what to cut / keep has been one of the biggest challenges.

Today, the room was full of about 200+ undergraduate students, many of whom are set to graduate soon. They were kind enough to listen to me talk about our project, and all of the things I've struggled to learn since the adventure started in March 2008. It's tough to not get amped up when talking about what's happening to our allies in Vietnam today.

Once I learned more about the truth explored in Abandoned Allies--and I still have more to learn--I couldn't help but be embarrassed and upset about it. Our government made a promise to the Montagnards: fight with us, and we'll help you find freedom. We didn't live up to that promise. It's a bit therapeutic to finally start sharing these things publicly, because we (as Americans) can actually do something to change this without the fear of being thrown into jail. Our Montagnard friends in Vietnam don't have that freedom, as all of my research has shown me.

Our country is trading with Vietnam, yet our allies are facing persecution in that country. It's a very complicated thing, to some degree. Do we continue trading or not? Can foreign trade be lumped together with human rights? How could our country stipulate human rights worldwide? Then again, how can we not stipulate that our allies be treated fairly? I have many more questions than I have answers.

Last night, in preparation for the talk, I searched for news relating to Vietnam. I found one article from the Canadian Press titled "Vietnam jails 2 hill tribe villagers for plotting anti-government protests" and another article from Bernama.com titled "Bill Clinton pledges more help to Vietnam." These two contradictory articles leave me with a feeling of unrest. Both were published in the last month. On one hand we have the persecution of Montagnards (or "hill tribe villagers" as the article calls them) and on the other, we have our previous President promising economic benefits for trading with the very country doing the persecuting. It's there, in black and white, for anyone who wants to piece it together.

These talks to students have been really helpful because this doc is not just a film--it's real life, happening today. My interest in this subject won't end after the film is finished, or after it has been shown to audiences. It'll be a lifelong interest of mine, as I learn how to be a more active/responsible citizen of the United States. I love my country. Learning these things about the broken promises of our government hurts me, and I search for answers about how to make it right.

Dr. Patterson asked me to speak to another class this afternoon, so I will head that way soon. I'm learning more from these talks than the audience is, I'm sure. They raise great questions, and a few students have even offered to help us with the film and events related to it. I'm so grateful and honored.

Viva La Challenges

2010-11-15T16:04:00.000-05:00

Forgive me if that title is grammatically incorrect in French. It's been a while since I've studied it...and I was always better at the accent than the foreign grammar.

Soooooo, it's been a while. How've you been. Good? I'm good, too. Actually, that's a half-truth.

The whole truth? I've been trying for a week to export Abandoned Allies so that I can get it to my team (designer, animator, composer, music supervisor), and every attempt has been a royal failure. Each moment, hour, and day that passes makes that deadline creep closer and closer. I've become the bottleneck. It's incredibly frustrating.

If you're tracking the progress of our film, know that we're making progress. It's taking time, but we're moving forward. I'm not one to moan about all the failures. It's too depressing living it, much less writing about it. But I've had my fill of challenges this week, and I'm looking forward to a vacation when the film is finished. Anyone wanna send me to Disney World so I can be like the commercials?

Keep us in your thoughts (and prayers if you do that, too). These next few weeks are going to be seriously intense, but I look forward to them, knowing that we can pull it off.

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."

-- Winston Churchill, former prime minister of Great Britian

Triangle Flight of Honor Salutes Our Veterans of WW II

2010-11-11T08:55:00.001-05:00

The following is a guest post by Abandoned Allies supporter and friend Lisa Sullivan. Lisa had an incredible opportunity to witness a Veteran’s Day celebration last week, and she shares her story with us here.

"To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…"

-- President Woodrow Wilson, official proclamation in November 1919 marking the celebration of Armistice Day, later re-named Veteran’s Day in 1954.

About 1,500 people welcomed the Veterans at RDU last week.

Read President Wilson's words and you can’t help but instantly feel them. Each year on November 11th we pay tribute to those that served for our country, those that continue to serve, and--even though it’s not in the official proclamation--the families that support them.

Last week, I witnessed one of the truest forms of celebration I have ever experienced thanks to the Triangle Flight of Honor program.

On Thursday, November 4, 2010, a plane carrying 100 Triangle area World War II Veterans and several volunteers departed Raleigh-Durham International Airport bound for a day-long trip to Washington, D.C. Their mission is to make it possible for aging Veterans to visit the memorials that were erected in their honor. The plane departed early in the morning to much fan-fare, including a water cannon salute, and returned to just as much celebration. It was the return that I had the chance to experience….and I’m so glad I did.

Banners welcoming the Veterans were hanging up at RDU.

In the atrium of the RDU parking garage that separates Terminal 1 from Terminal 2, folks from Triangle Flight of Honor, the local USO Chapter, and several Boy and Cub Scout troops gathered to hang banners, pass out flags, ready the coffee and refreshments, all while the National Guard Band plays for the guests in attendance – nearly 1,500 of them! I was one of the 1,500.

Photos honoring each Veteran were on easels at the airport.

When I arrived, they had already set up the poster-sized photographs honoring each Veteran complete with a bunch of red, white, and blue balloons attached to the back of the easel with which it stood. Those Boy and Cub Scouts I mentioned were passing out their flags, good-sized ones too. I grabbed a cup of hot coffee and proceeded to walk around the area near Terminal 1.

Lisa's Grandfather

Tears filled my eyes. While I didn’t have a grandparent in attendance, my grandfather served in World War II. As a matter of fact, his platoon was on the ground days after D-Day. He experienced the wreckage and carnage that was left behind.

As a child, I remember stories he would tell every time a military show came on the television or a documentary was screened or a holiday came around (Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day). I had to be there last Thursday for him. As I type this, I still have tears in my eyes.

At the welcome home event, there’s a lot of waiting. You have to get their early to see everything, and of course grab a prime viewing spot for when the Veterans return. But when they do return the crowd roars, the band plays, and there is not a dry eye in the house. Watching those men return to a celebration that’s just for them, watching their eyes light up at the numbers of people in attendance, and as they see their loved ones waving with flags or signage in hand--it’s truly something.

The Triangle Flight of Honor program is a nonprofit organization that relies on donors, sponsorship, and volunteers to make this happen for Veterans. The group aims to give all World War II Veterans in the area a chance to see the memorials in Washington in their honor. What they do is remarkable and it’s an honor just to be there.

The organization will be making another trip in February of 2011 and possibly in April as well. For more information, please visit http://triangleflightofhonor.com. Maybe I’ll see you in the crowd in February.

Lisa at the Triangle Flight of Honor event last week.

Lisa Sullivan is a social and new media specialist assisting with the film’s marketing efforts. You can find Lisa at http://lisasullivanpr.com. For more of her writings, visit her blog – http://quintessentialfeline.com.

The Pressure is On

2010-11-09T09:21:00.000-05:00

Our goal is to have the film finished by Thanksgiving. We're hustling to meet that deadline.

Surry has been working hard to check facts with our cast. I've been adding the narration to the time line to get a final cut of the film together. Patrick has been hustling to finish the opening sequence, and work on other motion graphics. Annie Beth is waiting to get the rough cut from me to add the music. My marcomm and events planning team is starting to look forward at the coming months, and we are all making plans for what happens after we submit the film to the first festival.

Things are moving quickly. That deadline is closing in on us. Good things are taking shape. And the future is quite bright. But all of that excitement about the film rests in the shadow of a very real possibility that positive changes could take shape as a result of sharing this story.

The pressure is on to finish the film. The pressure is on to represent this story well. The pressure is on to keep encouraging positive change in the world.

Pinch me. How'd I get to be so lucky to do this work? I can't wait to share this film with you.

The pressure is on.

Deadlines to the Left, Deadlines to the Right

2010-11-06T12:12:00.000-04:00

This weekend I'm working towards another deadline: finishing the rough cut so that I can send it to my music supervisor and motion graphics guys. They'll start adding the final finesse to the film, and making it look like a real film. It's very exciting!

We've been working on the rough cut for ages, but now that we have the narration recorded and in place, it is all coming together well. This post will be a short one because there's much work to be done this weekend.

More updates coming soon, my friends!

Talk at NCSU's Global Sustainability and Human Development Class

2010-11-04T22:02:00.000-04:00

Last night I was lucky enough to give a talk to graduate students at N.C. State University in Dr. Bob Patterson's class Global Sustainability and Human Development. What a wonderful evening of discussion with some incredibly intelligent and kind folks!

The talk was about Abandoned Allies and the main issues the film addresses--namely the abandonment of our allies after the Vietnam War and what has happened since then. I talked briefly about the Montagnard people and our film's production, cast members, and future plans. When we started talking about current affairs, things got really interesting. How I wish it were recorded!

These folks asked excellent questions, and helped me think of many things that will become increasingly important once we finish production. My mind is so focused on wrapping production, that it's almost difficult to transition into the next stages: branding, marketing, communications and activities/efforts related to the issues. Our work won't end with the film has been completed; no, the work will continue long after that.

The conversation last night was really energizing. It gave me even more hope that this little film of ours could lead to positive change. The issues are quite complex, and for nearly three years now I have been obsessively thinking of ways that our audiences can take action after they see the film. For the most part, though, I have been at a loss as to real solutions that could lead to change. I think this is not because there are no solutions, but mostly because I have had a real learning curve about so many things and that constant state of chaos is what is truly overwhelming.

Anyway, I know that I need to identify steps that can be taken after the film is finished. No one wants to watch a film that presents a problem, and never offers a solution. (That type of thing was never allowed in our house when I was growing up. If you complained about something, you had to offer a solution to the problem.) So, how do we facilitate positive change?

Our cast members have talked about a way to publicly honor the Montagnards, and I think this is something that should definitely happen. It could take the shape of a monument in DC near the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, or somewhere in N.C. where people can come visit it. Or it could be a traveling exhibition, sharing information about the Montagnards and capturing/collecting information about their culture. This first part is a way to honor and support the Montagnards in North Carolina through awareness that leads to conversation that leads to change.

The second part would be supporting the Montagnards in Vietnam, who are still being persecuted for being American allies. How could we positively influence that change? It seems like a big thing to take on, and quite honestly I don't have the answers to those questions. My cast members tell me that trading with Vietnam is essentially supporting a Communist government that is harming our allies. The comparison one cast member uses is, "You don't give a dog a bone so that he'll quit biting you. What will he do after that? He'll bite you again to get another bone." So do we continue trading with Vietnam? Is foreign trade inherently tied to human rights policies or not?

The conversation last night was really helpful because these are things I have been thinking about for so long. I'm not a political scientist, and I don't know enough about foreign policy. But I can help facilitate conversations.

A few of the students chatted with me after the talk, and we have been emailing since then. It would be so wonderful to have their help thinking through these things. There's a lot of work to do, and it's impossible to do it alone.

I'm so grateful to Dr. Bob Patterson, his students, and Ms. Astra Barnes for inviting me to join them last night. As I suspected, they taught me so much more than I could ever share with them. I wish them all the best of luck in their studies in Global Sustainability and Human Development.

Happy Birthday

2010-11-04T16:03:00.000-04:00

One of the most important people in my world is celebrating a birthday today. Thousands of words could be written about how wonderful she is--as an artist, teacher, entrepreneur, and role model.

To me, she is beautiful. A source of strength, guidance, comfort, wisdom. She is one of the reasons I dream big. As they say, you have to cast off the lines and sail away from the safe harbor to find adventure. She is one of the reasons I think that's even possible. She isn't afraid to try something new, or dare to do something big--and she has sacrificed a lot so that I can do big things, too.

Yes, thousands of words could be written about this fascinating woman. For now, I'll simply say:

Happy birthday, Mom. I love you.

Meeting Joan Darling

2010-10-29T13:29:00.000-04:00

Lea-Ann Berst, club president of BPW/Raleigh, and Joan Darling,
one of the first female directors in Hollywood, at the BPW/Raleigh
dinner meeting on Tuesday night.

What a wonderful evening I had Tuesday night, thanks to Lea-Ann Berst (@MarketSleddogg) of Sleddogg Marketing Management.

Lea-Ann is a woman I truly admire and appreciate. She's the club president of BPW/Raleigh, a nonprofit that strives to support and educate women in business. Lea-Ann was kind enough to make sure I knew about last night's October dinner meeting because of Abandoned Allies.

The meeting featured Joan Darling, one of the first female directors in Hollywood who worked on plenty of shows you'd recognize: M*A*S*H*, MARY TYLER MOORE, TAXI, and MAGNUM P.I. She was nominated four times for an Emmy and twice for a Directors Guild of America award; winning one Emmy and one DGA award.

And guess what? She's also an improviser.

Her speech was about a lot of things that made my heart soar. I wish I had it on video so I could watch it repeatedly. I could listen to her talk for hours.

During her speech I found myself mentally interviewing Joan Darling on-camera about her life. She is absolutely fascinating, and I feel she has a great story to share with women in business. Darling graciously gave me a printed copy of her speech and some advice when I met her after the meeting ended. What a thrill it was to meet her!

Joan Darling has literally done what I dream of daily. She has done everything from improvisation, acting, directing, teaching and is now finishing up a book. From Broadway to Hollywood, she's experienced so much--yet is generous, kind, humble, feminine and caring. She's a big deal, but doesn't act like it.

Thank you, Lea-Ann, for the shout out during the meeting, and for being so kind to extend a personal invitation to Tuesday night's dinner meeting. It is something I have been happily reliving all week long!

Recording Session with Bill Leslie

2010-10-26T15:41:00.000-04:00

Today we recorded the narration for Abandoned Allies. What a thrill to have this completed!

Our voice talent is Bill Leslie (@wralbleslie), a talented musician and anchor at WRAL. He is so professional and kind. We are so lucky to have his voice in our film. When he started reading today, I literally got goosebumps. It's wild to watch this project come to life, and take on a life of its own. What a thrill to hear Mr. Leslie read the narrative script!

Bill Leslie. Photo from WRAL.com.

Greg Elkins, of Desolation Row, recorded the session for us to be sure the audio is of the greatest quality. He hears things I don't, which is great. You want someone like that on your team, folks. Let me tell ya.

I'm so grateful to both of these men for lending us their time and talents. A very special thanks to Sally Smith and Greg Hutchinson for connecting us to such talented people.

With the narration complete, we'll now be one step closer to picture lock. This means that we have all of the interview clips in order, and they aren't likely to be rearranged again. (I'm tweaking it to death.) Once the final cut takes shape, we'll add the music, lower thirds, subtitles, opening segment and end credits. At that point, it'll start to look more like a finished film than a bunch of talking heads.

Once we finalize the film and submit it to a festival of choice, we can start to work on the things like branding, marketing, communications, event planning and such. I predict these efforts will start taking shape in early 2011, and am really looking forward to it.

You know how to make a film great? Work with awe-inspiring people who are kind, professional, smart, and talented. Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you are, but aren't afraid to give you honest criticism. This, I think, is one of the keys to making films.

What an honor it was to work with our committee of people to make sure the script was right, and all of the folks bringing that script to life. I'm so grateful to all of the people helping us create Abandoned Allies.

Stay tuned, folks. This film just keeps getting better.

Lunch with Jim McQuaid

2010-10-25T23:38:00.000-04:00

Today I had the pleasure of eating BBQ with Jim McQuaid (@TurnipVideo), a fellow filmmaker who lives in the Triangle. He came bearing gifts of film making wisdom, and his films on DVD! I'm so thrilled to have my hands on his latest work, Eight Lessons in Living Together.

Earlier this year, Jim and I cohosted a networking event for filmmakers. (Here are some photos from the event.) He's also been super supportive during these recent months when I struggled a bit with life and the balance of making my first film. He recently offered to join me for lunch so we could chat about film making, and I'm so thrilled he did. It was just what I needed, and I'm so grateful for his company and words of advice.

It was really fun to hear him talk about Eight Lessons, and his plans for the film now that it's finished and on DVD. (Psst, you can buy a copy here, which would make him quite happy.) He's got "a good head on his shoulders" as my dad always says. It was so helpful to hear about his plans for the film, and future events he's planning. (He's working on something fun for January, which I'll share with you when more info is available.)

Working at Designbox has helped me realize something very critical: I'm a people person. (Duh.) This isn't really news to me, but it's an important lesson for making future films. I like, crave, and need to be around other people in a balanced way. Coworking from Designbox has been such a great gift! I'm so humbled and grateful for the opportunity.

These past months have kept me holed up in a room editing video, and I think that made me a bit sad. I got caught up in a vacuum. Editing video and being in the same room, alone, for hours on end...this is not one of my strengths. But it is work that needs to be done. What a joy to be doing this work from Designbox now.

Thanks for the lessons, Jim. I'm looking forward to watching Eight Lessons!

Day Four of Coworking

2010-10-25T09:20:00.000-04:00

This is the second week of coworking from Designbox, thanks to shovemedia. I'm thrilled to be here again, working on the finishing touches to Abandoned Allies.

Our big priority this week is finishing the narration. Last week I hustled to finish the script, sent it to a few of our trusted advisors, and combined the edits to make sure it's an accurate representation. I'm sending that to our voice talent as soon as possible, as we have a recording session scheduled for tomorrow.

This is thrilling news because it means that we can get even closer to picture lock, which means that we can then add things like the lower thirds, subtitles, and music--you know, the things that make it look and feel more like a film. After those things are in place, we'll add the opening segment and the end credits to have more finalized rough cut! I can't wait to get to that day, and hope that it comes very soon.

We're still hurtling towards the pre-Thanksgiving deadline. There's much work to be done, but I think we'll get there. This team is a great one, and I have confidence in them.

On Being Grateful

2010-10-21T15:59:00.000-04:00

Earlier this week I scanned some photos taken in Vietnam by one of our cast members in the 1970s. After I scanned the image, I spent some time on digital imaging to make it look a little better. Within an hour, I had about 20 images scanned, cropped and edited. As I closed Photoshop, I smiled and thought to myself, "Wow, I am so glad I studied graphic design and photography. This could have taken a lot longer to accomplish otherwise."

There are moments like that throughout each week, where I do something quickly and almost effortlessly. It has become such a wonderful feeling to be in familiar territory! After the task is complete, I pause with gratitude and delight in actually knowing how to do something well. It's a private moment, but one I relish because I've lived in such chaotic space for so long trying to figure out new things for Abandoned Allies.

Oh, how jealous I am of students studying film in school! The lessons I'm learning daily while making Abandoned Allies are priceless, but it certainly would have been grand to know how to swim before jumping in the deep end as I did so willingly in 2008.

That's the thing, though. You don't know how to swim without getting in the water, right? (Surely there's a country song about that, or I'm quoting some piece of literature without realizing it.)

The truth is, quite honestly, that making this film is one of the most challenging, rewarding and frustrating things I've ever tried to do in my entire life. But if I can finish this one, then I can make the next one better. And the next one better. And the next one better.

This week, alone, has been incredibly productive. For that I am also grateful. Perhaps I'll save the rest of the list for a Thanksgiving blog post. After all, it's right around the corner!

Script Writing

2010-10-20T20:57:00.000-04:00

Writing this narrative script is one of the most difficult things I've had to do for Abandoned Allies. Words that typically flow easily for me just are not coming. The words that do make it to the page feel contrived and questionable. Why has writing this script been so challenging?

Currently I'm taking a break from it because I've been at it alllllll day long, for two days now, (no, make that months, and probably a whole year that I've been working on it). I'm ready to pull my hair out.

Writing for this blog is a welcomed relief from the script. But I'm desperate for sleep tonight so I have to make this a short post.

The narration feels incredibly important. Perhaps I'm putting too much weight on it, and that's stifling the flow of writing? I rarely get writers block, and I know that it's impossible to prevent mistakes. You're just bound to make them as a first time filmmaker. So, what's my deal? I'm so frustrated right now.

We have a recording session set for next Tuesday. I'm scheduled to send the script to a few trusted folks to be sure it's an accurate representation.

Translation: beautiful deadlines are forcing me to quit nitpicking, and finish the thing. I love deadlines.

Let the Coworking Begin!

2010-10-18T11:21:00.001-04:00

I'm coworking from Designbox to finish Abandoned Allies.

Today is my first day of coworking from Designbox (@DBRaleigh), and I'm thrilled to be here thanks to shovemedia. Everyone has been so welcoming!

It really is a thrill to escape my little home studio and set up shop in a space like this one. Most folks think that you should be able to work anywhere--and you can, for the most part--but a space like this changes the game.

Don't think your desk is important? Watch this short documentary, which my friend Matthew Hayhurst (@mwhayhurst) pointed out recently.

A desk is a very important thing. Working in an environment that encourages creativity makes a drastic difference in the work you produce, especially when you're surrounded by other creative people.

For the past few months, my home office has been less than inspiring. This is for a number of reasons too boring to write about, but let's just say that the way I had it set up leaves one aching for escape. It was messy, cluttered and smelled a lot like my dog. I worked on making it better this weekend, but it still needs some help.

Who knew my physical space could be so stifling? It's not a bad space to work in, but it definitely left me blocked. I woke up this morning feeling like a kid on Christmas Day, and I couldn't wait to get to the gift waiting for me. It is such a gift to be at Designbox today, knowing I can keep working here for the next 30 days to finish Abandoned Allies.

Buckle up, folks. It's going to be a wild ride. Let the coworking begin!

Get Fired Up

2010-10-15T11:41:00.002-04:00

Illustration by Camden Watts

With the news that I won the shovemedia contest, I have been so thrilled about the reality of finishing Abandoned Allies. This office space, deadline and encouragement is exactly what I needed--without even knowing it. I'm so fired up about wrapping up the film and showing it to people that I can hardly sleep at night. There's so much work to do, and very little time to finish it.

We have only about five weeks before Thanksgiving, which is when I hope to have the film completed.

The Full Frame film fest submission deadline is November 30th, and I want Abandoned Allies to be entered. That means we could, hopefully, show the film at the festival in April 2011. (Hopefully!) This would then, in turn, give us enough time to prepare for our own premiere event to take place weeks after the festival (more on that in future posts).

While April 2011 feels very far away, Thanksgiving feels like it's just around the corner. This is both thrilling and terrifying for me, because I so desperately want to finish the film before the holidays.

It's my belief that our volunteers shouldn't feel stress about working on Abanadoned Allies during the holidays. It's time they might otherwise be spending with family, resting from being so busy, or working on their own projects. So I hope we can hustle and have the film in tip top shape and submitted to the festival before Thanksgiving gets here.

That said, it's time to get fired up! There's not much time, and we have lots of work left to do on the:

Opening segment
Narration
Motion graphics
End credits
Music selection / composition
Branding
Marketing and communications

Over the course of these next few weeks, with the help of my very talented crew, this little film will start to feel much more like a Film (with a capital F). We'll be adding the final finesse, finally! I'm beyond thrilled.

Giving Credit

2010-10-13T15:19:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I worked on the Abandoned Allies closing credits, among other things. It felt good to check that task off of my list, but the sheer terror of having left someone out is enough to keep me up at nights. So many talented and kind people have helped us make this film since March 2008 that the closing credits list was four pages long (single spaced).

Today I relayed that information to a friend. She responded, "Wow. That's almost like a real film!"

Indeed. Just imagine how long our next production's closing credits will be, if such dreams become reality. I look forward to having many more people on the team. There's room for them, for sure. I want people in charge of photography, audio and editing. Perhaps a personal assistant or an assistant director. There's definitely room for many more people to help on the next production, and I'm thrilled about building that team when the time is right.

For now, though, we have a mad dash to the finish line ahead of us.

With the news that I won shovemedia's 30 days of free coworking contest, and will soon start working from Designbox, I feel a renewed sense of energy. I can't wait to start working there!

Our team is already gearing up to have the film finished before Thanksgiving so that we can relax and enjoy the holidays. Not to mention submit Abandoned Allies into the Full Frame film fest.

We have a lot of work ahead of us, but I'm looking forward to having the film finished. Once we meet that Nov. 30th deadline, we can move our focus to branding, marketing, communications and event planning.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed in hopes that Abandoned Allies will play at the Full Frame film fest in April 2011. Wouldn't that be wonderful! It's a North Carolina production about North Carolinians, produced and directed by a North Carolina native. I'm such a geek, I know.

Great News: Shovemedia Coworking Contest Results

2010-10-12T15:34:00.000-04:00

Friends, I have some delightful news to share. Recently I entered the shovemedia contest to win 30 days of free coworking at Designbox, and today I received confirmation that I won! This is great news, as it means we can finish Abandoned Allies much faster.

Shovemedia, a boutique interactive development studio, is sponsoring the 30 days of free coworking. I sat down with Jon Williams of shovemedia to tell him about our project, where it currently stands, and how we plan on finishing it within those 30 days.

It's an ambitious goal to finish the film within the next month, but it's definitely possible. We are so close to finishing it, and having the use of this space will make a huge difference. I am positively ecstatic about working on the film at Designbox.

Designbox is a really cool space in downtown Raleigh where creative people can come to work. They have fun First Friday events, like the PBaRt show and concert. Designbox members feature, encourage and nurture creative people so they can do impressive things; but they also make it easy for the public to learn about the creative work and its results. Check out some of their photos. Here's what the website states about Designbox:

Designbox is North Carolina’s influential spot where unique creative professionals share space and work together. Located in downtown Raleigh, N.C., the members of Designbox have been nominated and won many national honors in their respective fields. Designbox is responsible in part for nationally recognized events such as SPARKcon, Kirby Derby Day, Xtreme Suburban Endurance Events and helping the City of Raleigh redevelop City Plaza.

Working on the film from Designbox will help me stay focused, motivated, and encouraged. I'll be able to lead my team much more efficiently and effectively, meaning we can finish the film much faster. Entering the film into the Full Frame film festival before November 30th is my new goal, and I'm counting on it happening thanks to shovemedia and Designbox.

Scope out this stop-motion promotional video Jon did for the contest. I loved hearing him talk about the production of the promotional video. Very cool stuff, indeed.

Designbox Promotion from Jon Williams on Vimeo.

Tonight on PBS

2010-10-05T15:35:00.001-04:00

Photo from PBS.org

Another one of my Full Frame Film Fest favorites will be broadcast on PBS tonight. The film is titled The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers. Check here for your local listings: http://www.pbs.org/pov/tvschedule/.

The film was a delight to watch at the festival this past April, and I hope you'll watch it tonight. Here's the synopsis listed on the PBS website:

Synopsis

In 1971, Daniel Ellsberg, a leading Vietnam War strategist, concludes that America’s role in the war is based on decades of lies. He leaks 7,000 pages of top-secret documents to The New York Times, a daring act of conscience that leads directly to Watergate, President Nixon’s resignation and the end of the Vietnam War. Ellsberg and a who’s-who of Vietnam-era movers and shakers give a riveting account of those world-changing events in POV’s The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers by award-winning filmmakers Judith Ehrlich (The Good War and Those Who Refused to Fight It) and Rick Goldsmith (Tell the Truth and Run: George Seldes and the American Press). A co-production of ITVS in association with American Documentary/POV. (90 minutes)

There are many aspects to the Vietnam War. Too many, in fact, for us to delve too deeply into much outside of the narrow scope of our film. We explore the relationship between the U.S. Special Forces and loyal American allies known as the Montagnards. Watching The Most Dangerous Man is a great way to learn a bit more about the era and history of the war. But don't stop learning, there.

I encourage everyone to seek the truth, not just digest what is presented by one entity. Learn to seek the truth independently. Knowledge is appreciated more when earned in such a way, and helps you draw your own conclusions and make more informed decisions.

After you watch the film tonight, be sure to tell us what you think of it!